It's been 2 hours and you are still at Porky Pigs house. You haven't seen him ever since the car chase and you start wondering where he is. You're still watching your favorite show Tit for Tat. Elmer Fudd is doing another silly comedy routine where he's pretending to be a hunter like he used to back in the day. He used to take you on hunting trips all the time. He seemed quite retarded though, as he didn't kill any animals at all. But you didn't care. You liked the time he spent with you and you had oh so much fun with him. Your eyes are all red and puffy from crying for 2 hours straight an your mascara is fricked up and smeared. You just want to go home and drink some booze, but you don't have a ride. You pull out your iPhone 15 XR and try texting Porky.
Y/N: Hey loser, where r u? It's been like 2 hours
Porkinator: Hey y/n, I got taken to court and I had to pay a for all the damage we both caused.. do you mind if you paid for a little bit?
Y/n: uh sorry pal but like ur the 1 who got in that mess in the 1st place. I'm not paying a cent <3
Porkinator: oh.. ok.. that's fine, no worries
Y/n: 😗💅🖕
You put down your phone and roll your eyes. That pig really gets on your nerves.
Another 2 hours pass and your still sitting in Porkys leather recliner watching Tit for Tat. You hear the doorbell ring. You get up from the leather chair and walk up to the door. You open it with annoyance and see a sweating pig at the front steps. It's Porky! He has sweat pouring down his face and he smells like a wet dog. He has sweat dripping down his entire body and his blazer is soaked. He's wearing his bow tie as a sweat band around his head and he's panting like crazy.
"Phew! I-I-I-I thought I would never make it.." Porky says out of breath as he pushes you aside and walks in.
"Uh.. where were you..? And why are you sweating like a hog..?" You say as you almost throw up in your mouth from the sweaty sight.
He looks at you exhausted and starts taking off his soggy blazer and puts on a tank top. He sighs.
"W-W-Well.. since I had to go to court, t-t-they took me in their police cars. I t-tried to call Bugs, D-Daffy, a-and you! But none of you would pick up.." he sighs as he sits down on the seat by his kitchen counter.
"S-S-So since I didn't have a ride.. I had to walk 4 miles from the court to h-h-here.." Porky sighs and chugs a big gallon of ice cold water.
You look at him awkwardly and sit down next to him.
"Dang.. that sucks" you say and take a sip of your Gucci Fiji water and start texting Marvin.
Y/n: heyyyyyy
Marvinator: hello 👋 how may I help you?
Y/n: cut the crap ok, I'll b over there soon k? K
Marvinator: oh alright? That sounds peachy 🍑
Y/n: tHaT sOuNdS pEaChY 🖕where r u taking me for dinner nerd???
Marvin: I'm unfamiliar with that gesture. And I will take you to the Sunset Room, it's very fancy✨👽
Y/n: f*** you 🖕👾sounds guuci see ya baby 😘
Marvinator: you are a very confusing woman...
Y/n:💩
You snap your phone shut...until you realize it wasn't a flip phone and cringe at the sight of your crushed phone in your hand.
"Ooh...that does not look g-g-good,"Porky cringes.
You slowly open your hand to find shards of glass stuck in your palm.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAJHHHHAHHAGDAMNGHSBJNDBFHBSHITZHAAAAaAAaAAAaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhHhhHHHHhHGhh," you scream at the TOP of your LUNGS!!
"O-O-O-O-Ohhhhh l-let me get the f-f-f-f-fir f-fir f-firrrr-st aid kit!!!!" Porky panics frantically.
"HURRY PORNY!!!!!!" You SCREAM as blood spurts from your hand.
"ALRIGHT!!!!!" Pinkie yells back.
He runs and stumbles around his house you can hear crashing and glass breaking.
"S-s-s-sH***IITTT!!" Porky cries.
Not too much later Porky runs in with a first aid kid.
"This'll sting a b-b-bit," porky says as he tries not to faint.
He starts picking the glass out of your hand and spraying anticipation on it. It stings so bad that you claw into the pig's arm as hard as you can. He screams as his flesh is being torn into by your acrylic nails.
"HURRY!!!!!" You scream in his pig ear.
"SHIT UP!!!" He screams back in pain and agony👹.
He finally bandages you up with the special Gucci bandages you gave him to put on you🤕.
"Y-y-y/n...leave...please..."porku sighs.
"FINE!! I was gonna leave ANYWAY!!" You stomp on his foot HARD unintentionally and run out the door.
You run all the way to your home and SLAM the door open.you hear a loud country scream from the other side but you didn't care. You had a date to get ready for. You run all the way up to your room and start ruffling through your closet for the perfect, sexy , date outfit.
"CONSONANT!!!" You hear a cowboy scream again.
You stomp out of your closet and zoom downstairs annoyed.
"WHAT THE F****CK DO YOU WANT???" You scream at the top of your lungs and look around for the hideous scream.
You see the little elf country man slammed into the wall by the door you forcefully opened. You move the door and see the mans giant nose squished and mangled.
"Oooooh..." you cringe and you hold in your laughter.
He gets up from the ground and he wipes all the dust and wall parts off of him and glares at you.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR??" He yells as his voice cracks like a boy going through puberty.
You roll your eyes and flip him off.
"Listen you f***cking bumpkin, I'm not in the mood to be dealing with you right now, got it??" You scream and smack his giant nose.
He looks at you with anger and disbelief and you angry stomp back upstairs.
"Ohhh she makes me so mad.." Yosemite grumbles under his breath.
He stomps inside your house, getting rubble and junk all over your Gucci carpet. He stomps upstairs and follows you into your room.. judging your decore and snickers as he sees a training bra on the floor. You walk over to your closet without noticing him until you hear him whistling Sweet Home Alabama. You snap your head around a full 360 and look at him with dagger eyes.
"GET THE F*****CK OUT OF HERE!!" You scream as you find the nearest shoe from your closet and throw a wooden slipper at him, knocking his cowboy hat off of his head, revealing his red locks. He looks at you offended and quickly picks up his hat and smooches it.
"Now what is your deal, dollie??" He screams and looks at you with rave.
You look at him with daggers and give him the bird once again.
"Omg please leeeeeaaaave, you're literally SO disgusting!!" You pig squeal and shoo him away.
"I can take a hint.." He sighs with anger.
"Uh! Clearly you can't, you retard!!" You scream and bonk him on the head with a sharp high heal.
"GEEZ GIRLY IM LEAVING" he yells and flips you off.
You turn around.
"Wait hold on, hillbilly" you say to him aggressively.
He turns around.
"Grrr.. what?" He growls.
"What did you even want in the first place, potato sack??" You shout as your still picking out a dress.
He rolls his eyes at your insult.
"I just wanted to know if you wanted to come bowling with the rabbit, the duck, that Martian.. and the chubby piggy guy" he says annoyed and crosses his arms.
Your ears perk up as you hear the midget say the word "martian".
"WAIT! Is the martian you're talking about have a cute little helmet on with a broom sticking out of it??" You ask excitedly as you run over to him.
"Uhh.. I mean I wouldn't say cute but- sure..?" He says awkwardly and pushes you away.
"Kay, I'll be there" you say immediately.
"Uh ok.. it's tomorrow night around 5 o' clock" he answers.
"Perfect. Ok get going, country fetus. I've got a date with a very cute guy.." you sigh as you pull out a black sexy gucci dress and flutter your eyelashes.
Yosemite rolls his eyes and closes the front door.
Here is what your outfit looks like 😘:
"Or"
You love your expensive outfit and your gorgeous hairdo. You go over to your mirror and do a kawaii pose to show of your outfit and take a lewd of yourself to post on Unsta. You make your way to your Tesla and hop inside. You blast "party in the USA" until you make it to Pizzaribba. You get out of your car and make it inside the restaurant. You see the handsome Martian cleaning tables as the last of the costumers leave.
"Oh hello y/n, I'll be ready in just a few moments. Please wait for me at the bar," Marvin says with a...smile?
"K," you reply curtly as you walk to the bar.
"Would you like anything before we close princessa?" Speedy asks.
"I'd like a strawberry moose martini," you say with a wink.
"Ok gringa," Sleedy rolls his eyes as he mixes your drink.
You drink the whole thing in one sip, hoping to get a little tipsy.
"Mmmmmmm, one more," you say licking your lips.
"Okay...but chu know that I put a LOT of alcohol in those right?" Speedy asks.
"Just mix the drink bar monkey," you snap at him.
"I'm a mouse b*tch,"Speedy growls.
He gives you your drink and you slurp that one down like a shot.
"Hicc...one more!" You demand drunkily.
"You've had enough drunkie, I thought you had a date tonight?" Speedy chides you.
You quickly sober up as you remember.
"Oh yeah oops," you say with a giggle.
Just then the Marvin comes to greet you two.
"Alright y/n, I'm all set to go! Isn't that lovely?" The pure boi giggles.
"Yeah let's go," you smirk as you flip your hair, some accessories fall out as you do.
"Let's take my rocket!" Marvin says excitedly.
"Whatever," you smile sweetly as you hold the little cutie's hand.
You both make your way out to see a big rocket in the parking lot that you never noticed before.
"Is that really a spaceship??" You scream in surprise.
"Why yes, it's called the Martian Maggot!" He says happily.
"Its named after a f**cking bug?" You say in disgust.
He looks at you with confusion.
"Um.. no? I don't even know what that is.." he says scratching his head.
He takes your hand and he opens the spaceship door with a special remote he pulled out of his very short skirt (definitely not school appropriate) and opened the door. You saw the gorgeous interior of the rocket, it was like an RV but better.
Here's what it looks:
"Wow Marvin this is amazing!!!!" You rant and rave about his ticket.
"Why thank you!" I just redecorated just for you!" You think he smiles.
"It's great Marvey-poo!" You say as you lay down on your tummy on the couch. You puff out your cleavage and pose sexily for an Instagram pic. You take a picture and caption it "feelin cute, might delete l8r".
"So where are we going sugar?" You say turning around and giving him bedroom eyes.
"Well I thought we could have a romantic flight around the Solar system before dinner," he says sweetly.
"Wait...we're not going to dinner first?" You glare at him.
"Um...no?"
"Omg I'm literally STARVING f*ckface!!! Rub my feet in retribution sharty!!!" You growl as him.
"Alright my dear, let me start the ship first," marvin says as he skitters to the front of the ship.
"Alright! We're taking off in 3.... 2........ 1........... BLASTOFF!!!"
You sit back in the comfy fabric seat and put your sweaty, sore feet up and close your eyes... but then you hear a giant EXPLOSION and you are immediately launched into the air. Your back slams against the ceiling and cracks your spine.
"OHHHHHH MOMMY PLEASE HELP" you scream bloody murder and you immediately start throwing up chunks ALL OVER the ship.
You're sobbing so hard, you eventually start vibrating and start passing out and losing consciousness. You're limp body is rolling all around the ceiling and vomit is dripping from your mouth onto ALL the decor.
"F***ck... you....." is all you could squeeze out of lungs before being knocked out.
At last, the ship comes to an abrupt stop which makes your body slam back into the floor, snapping your spine and other body parts back in place. You regain consciousness and you dizzily lift your head up to look around. Everything is spinning, which makes you puke even more. You start gaining your vision, but all you can see is your very chunky vomit EVERYWHERE. You slowly get up, snapping your ankles out of place in the process, but continue walking.
"Omg.. what a trip" you sigh and you shake your dizzy head.
You then remember what happened and begin feeling rage.
"Ohhh! That f*****cKing RETARD did this!! I'm gonna have a talk with him.." you scream and storm to the front of the ship.
You open the door and see that Marvin has also been knocked unconscious with loads of throw up all over the room.
"What the f**ck?"
You walk over to Marvins body.
"HEY RETARD, WAKE UP!" You scream and stomp and crunch marvins noodle leg, startling him a little.
"Mm.. yes.. Tyrahnee..?" He says dizzily as he regains consciousness.
"Shut the f**ck up, puss head. Who the f*****ck is tyranitar or whatever??" You say as you kick his helmet off of his head.
This makes him fully awake.
"HUH??" He says as he snaps back to normal.
"Whatever do you mean, my darling?" He says as he gets up slowly and holds your hands for support.
You slap his barfy hands away, making him fall over.
"SHUT UP, SH**T HEAD! WHAT WAS THAT?? I LITERALLY LOST CONCISENESS BECAUSE OF YOU" you scream and smack him in the face.
"Wait sugarplum! There was a misfire with the engine, it sent us spiraling into orbit, and were currently...on Mars," Marvin says in surprise.
"Oh dear...I was hoping that I wouldn't have to see HER for awhile," Marvin sighs.
"Who? Are you cheating on me?" You huff in anger.
"Of course not! It's just...my ex is actually the queen. But you are much more lovely my dear!" Marvin smiles as he panics.
"We just need to refuel the rocket and get back to our date," Marvin reassured you.
"Fine, but in case you didn't notice, we're covered in sh*t and puke," you glare at him.
"Oh that is no problem," Marvin winks as he pushes a button. You, Marvin, and the ship are instantly cleaned up and made even better. You now look 100 times more beautiful than you did before.
Here is what you looked like:
"Omigosh I look like a queen!!!!"you squeal in excitement and twirl around in your beautiful gown.
"I'm glad you like it my love," Marvin says with joy.
"Now let us go get fuel! My home away from home isn't too far from here," Marvin leads the way as you tag along beside him. Locking arms with him as you do.
You see how cool and futuristic Mars is, it's waaaayyyy better than earth and you could see yourself living there.
You walk over to a strange looking house. Almost futuristic, but odd.
It looks like this:
The door is already open.
"After you, m'lady" Marvin says to you as he winks and lets you pass you.
You pinch his cheek and roll your eyes.
"Don't call me that, scrub" you huff and spit in his left eye.
You step inside is odd home and you're surprised to see the decor inside!
"This is where you live?? This is amazing!!!" You squeal and you have stars in your eyes as you look around his amazing futuristic house.
A giant green dog comes out of a corner and charges over to you all full force. You look at the dog with fear and start running for your life, screaming at the top of your lungs. The dog tackles you down and is barking FEROCIOUSLY. You heart is pounding like crazy.
"K-9 THAT IS ENOUGH" Marvin screams and practically rips the giant dog off of you.
Marvin drop kicks the dog into his cage and locks it. K-9 is still barking his head off and has foam leaking out of his mouth. Marvin rolls his eyes and walks over to some supplies.
"Well here it is, my fuel. We better get going now" Marvin says as he picks up the gallon of fuel and is about to walk outside.
You pause and look at Marvin.
"Uh we just got here, moron." You snap back.
"Em.. I thought you wanted to make it back on time for our date at Tuddy's? You were crying uncontrollably because you were complaining you were hungry" he says as he looks at you confused.
You sigh and remember your rumbling tummy.
"Ok whatever, maybe we can stay another time" you say with depression as you look back at Marvin's amazing house, but then see the crazed dog chewing on the bars of the cage and change your mind.
"Yeah let's get out of here" you shout and grabs marvins arm and run the heck outta there.
You throw Marvin onto the ship and start yelling at him to fuel up the ship.
5 minutes later..
"Ok! The ship is all set!" Marvin cheers as he climes back inside the ship.
"That's great, loser. Let's go, I'm starting to digest myself" you groan and lay down on the coach and take selfies for your Instagram feed.
Marvin starts up the ship, but this time the ship is flying smooth and calm, like first class.
"Yo Marvin! Put the ship on autopilot, I want you to rub my feet like you promised!" You yell out to him as you take off your incredibly fancy shoes and put up your musty feet on the seat.
"I'll be right there, my dear!" Marvin says as he's switching to autopilot.
You throw your rock hard shoe at his head and knock off his helmet.
"Hurry up, retard!!" You scream and begin ripping up the seat in anger.
Marvin quickly runs over to you and sits down next to you.
You put both your sweaty feet on his lap and look at him with lust. Marvin is obviously uncomfortable but massages your feet anyways because of the simp he is. You moan in pleasure as he's pressing down on all of your pressure points in your feet.
He starts to get more uncomfortable as your moans increase and get louder. You body starts to vibrate ferociously on the couch as you're taken to pleasureville. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as your body gyrates like a jack hammer.
"I think that's quite enough," Marvin stops, and your body starts slowing down like a revving engine.
"Teehee, that was amazing, pumpkin," you say kissing the cutie on the cheek.
"Oh of course love!" Marvin says with a blush.
"Just in time! We're almost at Tutty's," Marvin smiles.
"I thought we were going to sunsett room??" You ask him annoyed.
"Oh yes! I'm sorry I read the name wrong on the gps. We ARE going to Sunset room," marvin reassures.
"Good, because I want a good fillet minion," you growl at him.
"As you wish, my princess," Marvin simps simp-ily.
You both arrive at sunset room and are seated immediately, as you have a reservation. Marvin pulls out your seat like a gentleman and you blush at his suave nature. The waitor comes to take your order, it's none other that...Wile E?
What can I get you both? He writes on a notepad.
"We'll have a bottle of bubbly, a filet miñon for me and a Shrimp Scampy for him. Oh and get me a side of truffle and a chocolate lava cake for dessert," you demand the coyote and dig into his foot with his sharp high heel. He starts crying little tears as he turns away to the kitchen once you release his poor piggy.
"I hope you didn't mind I ordered for you, you MUST try the shrimp it's divine," you smile at him sickly sweet.
"Actually I've had it before, it's great! I was hoping to try something different this time around though..." he trails off.
"Don't you like me???" You growl at him.
"Of course I do! Why on Earth do you ask??" Marvin snaps back offended.
"Because you're not respecting my wishes!! And I wished for you to eat shrimp!!!" You yell at him.
"Please simmer down honey, I apologize. I'll eat the shrimp", marlin smiles sadly at you.
"And pay for dinner right?!?!" You glare at him.
"Of course, sweetie," he sighs.
You both get your food and eat in silence, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You started to feel somewhat bad for how you treated Marvin. But then again, you were only going out with him to fill the void in your heart Elmer left. Marvin looks at you from across the table and clears his throat.
"The...shrimp is stupendous tonight," he smiles sweetly.
"Yesh...the steak is too..." you trail off and smile sweetly. You reach out and hold Marvin's hand.
"I'm sorry Marv, let's make up," you say.
"Indeed! Let's!" Marvin cheers.
You both finish dinner and Marvin foots the 250$ bill for dinner. You hop into his ship and hug the whole time until you reach your house. You hold hand until you reach the front door. Once you both reach your front door you look into each other's eyes and share a sweet kiss.
"A little to the left" he corrects you and you move a little to the left.
"Until we meet again my love," marvin coos as you part lips..?
"Yeah like tomorrow at bowling," you giggle.
"Yes, tomorrow at bowling indeed," marvin giggles back.
"Goodbye y/n," Marvin waves as he's still blushing and turns away. You wave back and close the door behind you, luckily nobody has toes around to be crushed. You slide down the door and blush, you think you've found your soulmate, the one to finally make you forget Elmer.
"Goodnight Marvin," you sigh lovingly as you make your way to your room for bed.
To be continued...