A/N: The long wait is over... Baka maguluhan kayo sa chapter na ito kaya nilagay ko sa title yung maaaring mangyari sa kabanatang ito. Mwa. Enjoy reading!
Fiona's POV:
"Fiona. He's been waiting for you downstairs. Wala ka ba man lang balak na bumaba para kausapin sya?" halatang naiirita na saakin si Lala pero hindi ko sya pinansin. I'm busy scanning every paperwork that I have right infront of me.
"Fiona! Listen to me! I'm tired talking here, you know!" and then here she goes.
I turned my eyes and finally look at her with no emotion that can be seen on my face, kanina ko pa sya hindi pinapansin because of her nonsense news about that guy downstairs. Like I care.
"No one is asking you to talk. You insisted to talk nonsense, and now you're mad at me." saglit ko lang syang tiningnan at binalik ko na ang tingin ulit sa mga sandamakmak na papeles.
"Grabe, Fiona. You've changed alot." she seems to be really disappointed. I can't blame her.
"You cannot stop people to change, when it's already needed." I simply replied, as I sign every papers.
"I've warned you already. I told you to stop loving that guy way back then, because I know what you can do, I know what you will do and I know that you'll turn into like this someday!" Lala made me stopped when she shouted, and her voice just echoed through the entire room of my office. Tss, what a voice.
Does she even have an amplifier inside her throat? Or a mic? Whatever and never mind.
I cleared my throat and putted down my pen, I crossed my arms and blankly stared at her, "You cannot dictate your own emotions. If I already knew what's gonna happen a bit earlier, then I would definitely stopped my feelings. But no. I knew nothing, before."
"Hindi naman ako nagkulang ng pagpapa-alala sayo, Fiona. Hindi. But you were just blinded by your love, kaya ngayon? Eto ka!" napairap ako sa sinabi ni Lala. I stood up and walked around my office while my arms still crossed.
"Eto ako. Realizing how pretty I am, to just waste my time on petty things and people. Just accept the fact na I'm not TANGA, anymore." I may sounds bitter but I'm just stating what's the truth. In fact, why would I waste my time for someone who doesn't even deserve it?
"Hindi na ikaw yung tanga, because you really change a lot. It hurts me knowing that you're not the old Fiona that I used to bond, laugh and cry with." mahihimigan ang lungkot sa tono nito.
Kahit ako man, hindi ko gusto ang sarili ko. Nagbago nga ako....but for the sake of myself. I'm loving myself, but maybe a bit too much.
I sighed, "People aren't meant to stay who they are from ten years ago, it's the fact that people change because of what happened to them from the past. You cannot be the same person if you doesn't want to be fool by the same reason..." I smiled and looked at her. She's looking away from me. Well, I don't mean to explain this but she started, so why not?
".....In fact, past memories taught me a lot. Especially, not to trust people again, kase nasasanay. Akala nila kapag binigay mo tiwala mo ng paulit-ulit eh okay lang na sirain nila ulit yun dahil nga bibigyan mo nanaman sila ng hindi na mabilang na pagkakataon...." I paused, I sighed deeply. I shook my head, trying to control my anger.
"...but no. People are meant to forgive, but don't expect that they can forget easily. You know to yourself where is your own limits on trusting and loving people, when it hurts so much already, it's time to let go, it's time to stay away and it's time to change for the better." and there, I finally composed a fine smile that no one could ever take away from me.
"Fiona... I can't blame you from what you are doing right now. But atleast talk to him, confront him and tell him what you're feeling." Lala moved closer to me and held my hands, trying to lure me with her puppy eyes.
I smiled, "Hmm... No." I stated and removed her hands from mine.
"Aish! Bahala ka dyan! Bababa ka din naman eh, makikita at makakausap mo din sya kapag bumaba ka! Che!" she childishly said and hold onto the doorknob and was about to twitch it but I stopped her.
"Where you going?" I asked her and instantly switch my attention to my work, yes, my work is to sign all these paper,endlessly. But atleast, I earned enough to make a fine living.
"Heading to my boyfriend." masungit pa nyang sagot and even flipped her hair.
I giggled, "Ah. Kaya pala. Maybe, he's asking you to help that guy downstairs na makausap ko." I said.
"Lol! Assuming ka. Hindi 'no! Why would Sebastian do that! My boyfriend is purely innocent about your issues on Grey 'no! Che!" and there she is. Finally, open the door and leave with a heavy heart, I think. She didn't get what she wants to me.
Nang makalabas sya ay tsaka lang ako nakahinga ng sobrang luwag. Nailapag ko ng malakas ang ballpen ko at saka tinulak ang swivel chair na inuupuan ko malapit sa glass window kung saan kitang-kita ko ang kalsada sa ibaba. Kung saan nagaganap ang malalang traffic ngayon.
Mariin akong napapikit at napahawak sa dibdib ko. Ang hirap. Ang hirap-hirap. For ten years being out of nowhere to find, I'm here right now. Sitting and defending myself, because no one will ever do that for me.
Parehas kong naipunas ang kamay ko ng mariin saaking mukha, sinusubukang palakasin ang sarili ko. Kadadating ko lang ,ilang linggo pa lang akong nag-sstay and I wasn't expecting na ito... Ang tinataguan kong problema ang agad na bubungad saakin sa kada araw.
Naiinis ako. Naiinis ako na bakit hindi ko sya kayang harapin, sa tinanggal ko sa states, sa tinagal kong pinraktis ang sarili kong kausapin sya ng may pagkamuhi sa dibdib ko...tapos ano?! Ngayon?! Wala na? Umatras na?!
"Ugh!!!" napatayo ako ng tuluyan at nasipa ng malakas ang swivel chair ko.
"Bwiset ka! Sobra!" dagdag ko pa ng hindi ako makuntento. Maybe, I'm still not professional enough to control my anger issues.
"You'll never see me cry, no never again." I stated, and headed to the bathroom to calm myself by wetting my face.
FAST-FORWARD
"Excuse me, umuwi na ba si Laxene?" asking the counter attendant, without looking at her. Nakatingin kase ako sa phone ko. Trying to call Lala.
"Uhm.. G-Good evening po, Ms. Fiona. Your secretary already go home po with her boyfriend. Sinundo po sya kani-kanina lang po."I looked at her straightly on her eyes, and it seems to gave her a sudden quiver but still manage to gave me a nervous smile.
I gave her a simple smile and nodded. "Thank you." I said and leave.
Tsk, how dare her! Sabi ko sakanya sabay kami. Baka nagtampo yun dahil kanina. Hays, kararating ko pa nga lang manunuyo na agad ako ng bungangera. What a life.
I headed straight to the parking lot where I parked my car this morning, since mag gagabi na kukunin ko na cuz I'm going home.
Tahimik lang ang daan na tinatahak ko and silence quietly took it place as always. Wala ng masyadong naka-park since its already evening. Yung mga overtime workers sa building lang minsan natutulog and hindi sila nakakauwi. Well, if I were to choose, kahit sa company nalang ako matulog araw-araw.
Ingay lang ng heels ang nambubulabog sa parking lot. I don't have anything na hawak, only my bag where my keys are obviously inside. Ang sakit na ng paa ko dahil medyo masikip ang heels ko at sa kadulo-duluhan pa ang kotse ko. Naka-VIP parking lot ako. Exclusive for me only.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad ng maramdaman kong mayroong nakasunod saakin. Hindi ko rinig ang yapak ngunit ramdam ko ang mabigat nitong presensya. Kumabog ng mabilis ang puso ko sa kadahilanang sa bilis ng paglalakad ko ay pinapantayan nya din. What the heck! Lala! I hate you!
Mas binilisan ko ang hakbang ko without looking back because now? I can hear every footsteps of that someone behind me!
Nanghihina na ang mga tuhod ko at hirap ng maglakad pero mas binilisan ko ito. Bakit kase ako lang isa?! Aish! Lagot ka saakin Lala!
"Lord... Please.." napapadasal nalang ako ng mahina dahil feeling ko nasa likod ko ang lalaki at sobrang lapit na nya saakin.
Wala akong lakas na lumingon pa dahil alam kong may masama syang balak saakin!
Nang ilang segundo ko ng binibilisan ang lakad ko, tumigil na ang nakasunod saakin. Nakahinga din ako ng maluwag ng makitang malapit na ako sa kotse ko.
"Hay! Thanks God—AHHHH!" napahiyaw ako ng malakas ng sa pag lingon ko sa aking likuran ay isang lalaki ang bumungad saakin habang naka-pamulsa ito at prenteng nakatingin saakin at natatawa-tawa pa.
The man who almost ruined my life.
He giggled even more, I composed myself to look at him, coldly. I stood up properly, like a boss.
I arched my right eyebrow, hindi ko na ugaling makipag-usap kapag hindi ako unang kinakausap. I don't do the first move anymore. I'm the boss.
He changed, physically. Nagkaroon sya ng manipis na balbas but that doesn't affect his looks, medyo bumagay sakanya ito dahil he looks even more matured. He became more thinner than before. He has a quiff style hair right now. He's wearing a black plain T-shirt and a jeans. He's looking simple fine.
Napairap ako sa isipan ko. Why would I waste my time to describe him?!
"You've change alot." he trailed on. He even smiled but somehow faded after seeing my reaction. I mean, there's no reaction at all.
Tinaasan ko lang sya ng kilay.
"Let's talk." sober up, right away huh? *smirked*
"We're now talking." I sarcastically said.
"I mean... Privately." he replied.
"There's no people in here, so technically it's already private."
"I'm inviting you for a dinner."
"I can afford my own dinner."
"Let's go out."
"Yeah, I'm already out from work and basically going home, bye." I'm about to walk when he grabbed my wrist. Agad ko itong binawi. I don't want him to touch me.
"Ano ba!" inis kong sigaw.
"You made me wait for ten years, Fiona." may kung inis at sakit na sabi nya. He's looking directly to my eyes, I can clearly see his teary eyes full of pain and sadness. It's like begging me to not go and stay with him.
Pero agad kong inalis ang tingin ko sa mga mata nyang nangingiusap. "You made me strong, Grey. Thanks for that..." I said while nodding my head. "But we don't have any business to talk about." tumalikod na ako at nagsimulang maglakad ng mabagal.
Trying to control my tears.
"It's not about business. It's about us." ani nito na nakapag-pahinto saakin. Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko sa paglabas ng mga ito.
Akala nya ba hindi masakit at mahirap ang mga pinagdaanan ko para sabihin sakin ang mga ganyang salita ngayon?!
I've been practicing this if ever naa magkita ulit kami at mangyari 'to. I though I was already prepared! But I am not! Nakakaanis! Ten years! Ten years na pinaghandaan 'to, pero isang tawag nya lang sa pangalan ko, nagkakarerahan na agad ang mga luha ko, makalabas lang sa mga mata ko.
I wiped my own tears and slowly turning back to look at him, madly. "I'm here for business, I went to states to make a fancy living, and going back home because I still want to make more money..." I said.
"I'm not here for shits. Now, if you want to talk to me, magpa-schedule ka sa secretary ko..." I continued but stopped also..
"...and let's talk about bUSiness." nagpatuloy na akong lumakad at pumasok sa kotse ko. I left him dumbfounded, and I don't care.
Kulang pa 'yan. Kulang pa yan sa mga katarantaduhan kong tiniis when I was still her useless wife.
A/N: Pasilip lang ito sa future nila.
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