Being told something and witnessing it for yourself where two distinctly different things. Loki folded his arms, tilting his head to the side as he watched.
'You are his...pupil? Adoptive child?' Loki asked the young mortal currently creeping across the ceiling.
The child muttered an expletive, falling to the floor in an elegant pose.
'No, I'm just Peter, Mr Stark...he's kinda my mentor slash teacher.'
'Spider...' Loki trailed off, hoping his sentence would be finished.
'Spider-Man,' he answered with a smile, not showing any apprehension at being alone with Loki.
Loki walked around him in a leisurely circle, hiding his smirk as Peter showed signs of discomfort at his scrutiny, but continued standing his ground. 'You hide your fear well, yet you do not run from me. Why?'
'Mr Stark told me it wasn't you who did those things in New York,' Peter turned, meeting his gaze head-on.
'And you believed him? Why?'
'Because Mr Stark believes it, and I believe him.'
Peter spoke the truth as though it was the easiest thing in the world. Loki felt something stir inside as he looked down at him.
'Erm, Mr Loki, sir?'
'Loki is fine, child.'
'So, is it true you do magic like Doctor Strange?' Peter bounced on his toes, positively gleeful at the prospect.
'No.' Loki was curt, almost angry, regretting his tone when Peter wilted. 'What I mean to say is, not like that imposter, no.' Loki stretched out his hand, palm held upwards, letting his magic float in a ball.
'Oh my gosh, how are you doing that?' Peter rushed forward, waving his fingers under the ball, grabbing Loki's hand and moving it this way and that, turning it over and, being daring, waving his fingers through the energy.
'I can see why he is taken with you. You may not share blood, but you are definitely his.'
'Yup, so hands off, Lokes. Did you get what I asked you for?' Stark directed at Peter, who bounded up to the man, all youthful enthusiasm.
Loki had things he needed to be getting on with, meetings with Thor's advisors, yet he lingered, curiosity getting the better of him as he watched the two mortals interact. They weren't shielding their conversation from him, looking over their shoulders to make sure he left. That was what Loki expected them to do, what many Asgardians and the few mortals that visited them did.
'What is it, exactly that you are building here?' Loki asked, walking around the contraption, waiting to see if his stay was unwelcome.
'It's a fusion generator, Mr Loki. It combines hydrogen, deuterium and tritium at such a high-'
'It's an arc reactor. You remember the thing I used to have in my chest?' Stark pointed with a thumb to his sternum.
'You still have it...' Loki pointed out.
'No, this one is different, this one houses nanobots which creates my armour. The one before, the one you poked with the glowing stick, that was an earlier version of this.' Stark patted the contraption. 'It's an energy source, clean, renewable energy.'
Loki nodded to show he understood, biting the inside of his cheek to hide his smile as Peter got flustered after his complicated explanation.
'A way for us not to rely on Midgardian resources. This is a generous deed you do for my brother.'
'We're Avengers, we all help each other...like the Musketeers! All for one and one for all!' Peter looked impressed with himself, staring at Stark for validation.
'Something like that. I'm happy to help.'
Stark's smile didn't reach his eyes. Something was afoot here.
A glowing orange circle had Loki drawing back, daggers in hand. He recognised that from the streets of New York, remembered slipping through one.
'You!' he hissed.
The charlatan smirked, crossing his arms and looking down his nose at Loki.
'Me,' he answered.
'Before you start arguing about who has the bigger wand, can you help me with something?' Stark was talking to Strange, barely glancing at Loki.
It gave Loki a chance to watch their interactions, their familiarity around each other. A feeling of discontent prickled at him, his dislike of the charlatan no doubt. This...child was Sorcerer Supreme? Barely out of adolescence, this mortal was meant to have greater mastery over magic than any other?
Loki didn't believe it.
'Ah wizard, good to see you again!' Thor boomed as he joined them, his smile growing impossibly wider as he saw Peter who had made his way to Loki's side. 'Spiderling!' he called, sweeping the young mortal up into a hug and likely crushing the bones in his body.
Stark stopped what he was doing, hand outstretched in alarm as Thor manhandled his ward.
Loki observed it all, noticing how Strange's hands glowed with amber light. Eldritch magic, that was what he was trained in then. Interesting that he too was invested in the young Peter's wellbeing.
'Thor,' Strange said amiably. 'Mind releasing Peter now?'
'Oh, do not fret, Spiderling is stronger than he looks. Have you brought a new game for me to master?' Thor's eyes lit up, his hands rubbing together in glee.
Thor had become obsessed with that infernal gaming device over the five years of the snap. Honestly, if Loki didn't nag him, then Thor would ultimately revert to the melancholy waste of a space he was before.
'I do Mr Thor, but Mr Stark says I need to do some work before you distract me.'
Smart man. Loki caught his eye and nodded in thanks, smirking at the knowing smile he got in return.
'Why are you here?' Thor directed at Strange.
'Yes, you're unneeded,' Loki spat.
'Easy guys, he's with me,' Stark stepped forward, his easy-going demeanour evaporating at the potential threat.
'I mean no harm to the wizard, only my curiosity speaks, we are all Avengers here.'
'I'm no Avenger. I don't want him here,' Loki growled, taking a step forward.
'Still stinging from being treated like an infant?' Strange met his step, raising his hands in preparation.
'Loki,' Thor warned just as Stark did the same with Strange.
'Come on, children, play nice. Stephen, we're on the same side,' Stark placed a hand on Strange's arm, his other hand inching up to the glowing device on his chest.
'Are we now? Where were you when we fought Thanos? When the universe limped along for five years? Were you destroyed like Peter and me?'
Loki spared a look for the boy next to him, now scuffing his feet, his posture radiating sadness in thick waves.
'Or did you hide like a coward, leaving the rest of us to deal with it?'
'Stephen, that's enough.' Stark tugged Strange away, ignoring the Cloak flapping him away.
Loki let his hands fall to his sides. He spared a look for Thor before turning on his heel and leaving.
********************
'I never pictured you as cruel,' Tony grumbled, pacing the room acting as his makeshift lab. Peter and Thor had long gone, sharing banter over whatever game they were about to play, leaving behind Tony furious with Stephen.
'Cruel. How the hell have you forgotten what he did? He murdered people, attempted to enslave the planet! I was working in the ER with patients bleeding over me, watching the battle the Avengers fought. I saw you take the nuke into the wormhole! That was all him!'
Tony threw down the spanner he was holding, taking a few seconds to breathe. He knew all that, still had nightmares about death being so close, about life being sucked out of him as he plummeted through the wormhole.
Powerless.
'I know. I know, better than anyone. But listen to me. I'm not saying Loki is completely innocent, but he didn't mean to do those things, Thanos was manipulating him with the Mind Stone, warping his desires out of all proportion. He was a puppet!'
'I can't believe I'm even listening to this,' Stephen reached into his pocket for his sling ring.
'Wait a minute... listen to me, you trust me?'
'Of course I do.'
'Then listen to me now. You really think the path of a hero is black and white, that sometimes we can't tread the path that's grey? How easy would it have been for me to become a villain, hell before I was captured in Afghan, I was selling weapons.'
'That's different.'
'Tell me how. Explain that to Wanda, a teenager whose hometown was destroyed because of my weapon, a teenager who willingly gave herself over to Hydra for experimentation because of something I did!'
A teenager who still terrified Tony to this day.
'You didn't start the weapons side of Stark Industries, Howard Stark did.'
'Yeah, and how much sleep did I lose knowing people were dying because of them when I took over the company, none. It took months in a cave and torture for me to think any differently, to challenge my behaviour.'
Stephen sat down, sighing.
'The Avengers, protectors of Earth, fought in an airport. Half of them were wanted criminals! We had collateral damage, innocent people died.'
'Tony...'
'My point is, we all fucked up, we all repented, and I think Loki is trying to do the same.'
'He wiped out an entire race, his race, Tony, because of some grudge-'
'A race that left him for dead! Thor and Loki, they're aliens, they were raised differently. Human morals, human explanations don't apply to them. If you went far enough back in human history, we killed each other for trivial reasons. We evolved out of it. The Asgardians are a warrior race. Pride, death, war, it's a part of who they are.'
'Why are you defending him? Why are you so desperate for him to be forgiven?' Stephen asked. 'Is this because you think you see some part of yourself in him?'
'I dunno, maybe I see myself in him. We were both tortured, he went one way, and I went the other. Doesn't mean I couldn't see myself as a villain, that if my dad were alive, I wouldn't have wanted to make him suffer for what he put me through. Here on Earth, that's illegal, but what if you were raised in a world where war was life, that you'd grown up in the shadow of a war hero and you thought the only way to get a scrap of attention was to conquer a planet? Or to try and save your own from an invasion of frost giants?'
'I don't trust him. As Sorcerer Supreme, it's my duty to keep an eye on potential threats. He shouldn't be on Earth.'
'Damn it. You're not listening to me!' Tony got right up into Stephen's personal space. He didn't want to do this, didn't want to fight with one of the few people he cared about, but he couldn't let this drop.
'Bye, Tony.'
He disappeared through a portal, leaving Tony to swear loudly and kick one of the workbenches.
********************
Loki had been under no illusions when he thought about the amount of work it would take the mortals to forgive him. He had lied to Stark the night they'd had drinks. He no longer disliked his kind; merely saw them as naïve children, perhaps. He'd been foolish to believe that because one of them had seen through Thanos's manipulations that they'd follow. He was appalled at his foolishness, disgusted further because he knew at his core it was still a part of who he was.
He was a jealous, possessive and dark creature. Desiring love. Desperate for acceptance.
Even from weak, pathetic mortals.
He had no defence for Strange's accusations. He'd kept a low profile for five years, fearful of Thanos finding him. Thor had accepted his reasoning readily, glad that Loki wasn't dead. Not once had Thor asked him where he'd been, desperate to put their past behind them. No wanted to relive his self-seclusion, Loki never offered the information, preferring to ignore that period of cowardice.
He knew though, deep in his being, that he couldn't repent. His mistakes were too many.
Loki stopped his walk, head cocked to the side as if he was listening to something.
'If you're going to sneak up on someone you really should make it less obvious.'
He didn't react as crimson bands snapped around his arms and legs, making it impossible for him to move.
'Is this the famed mortal shovel talk? Are you going to threaten me with death and painful torture if I hurt him? Or is your preferred method to shove me in another dimension and let me fall for an hour this time?'
Strange stalked down the corridor at him, face thunderous, intent deadly.
'Please say its death and painful torture,' Loki hissed, subtly trying to break free of the bindings.
'You may have fooled Tony, but you don't fool me,' Strange growled, approaching him. They were a similar height, but this close the sorcerer was an inch or two shorter and for some reason that made Loki feel smug.
'Fooled him how?' Loki's voice was dripping with sweetness.
'Listen to me, if you want to stay on this planet, you'll leave him alone.'
'I was under the impression the government had allowed me asylum here. It has nothing to do with you.' He couldn't break free of the bindings, forced now to listen to Strange's ramblings.
'Heed my words, trickster. Leave him out of whatever schemes you're concocting.'
'Or what, charlatan? You'll dispose of me? I'd like to see you try. Come now, release me and we'll see how our magic fares against the other.' Loki's smile was all teeth. 'Jealousy isn't a good look on you,' he added as a parting shot when Strange turned to leave.
'You don't know what you're talking about,' he whispered, opening a portal.
'No? My comment too close to the bone? Afraid you'll lose his affections to me?' Loki pressed on the weakness he'd found, rubbing salt to the wound.
'To you? You're a manic, a sociopath. You don't care about anything or anyone, otherwise, you wouldn't be alone. You don't know how to care for someone, how to love. It's beyond your comprehension. Lose his affection? I'm not worried about that in the slightest.'
Strange walked through the portal, the bands disappearing as it closed behind him.
Loki had never done very well in being told he couldn't have something.
All it did was make the slight curiosity he had in Tony Stark blaze into lust.
He'd always wanted things he couldn't have.
********************
Tony woke with a silent scream, tears running down his face as he sat up in bed, trembling. They were getting worse, not better, and now the images of his worst fears were haunting him during his waking hours.
He knew what Stephen had said, that there would be good days and bad days regarding his mental health. Bruce used to say the same. Rubbing his hands over his face, he took a few ragged breaths in and out.
Maybe he should stop sleeping altogether, create something that would eliminate his need for it, turn his subconsciousness into an AI.
'FRIDAY? Can you ring Pepper for me?' He asked, looking over at the bedside table at his glasses.
'Sure.'
'Tony?'
Christ, even hearing her voice could send a surge of physical pain through him, his eyes welling up with tears.
'Hey Pep,' he managed to get out. God, he hoped she couldn't hear the state he was in.
'Everything alright?'
'Yeah, peachy.'
'Are you still in New Asgard?' He could hear her shifting, and he knew she had sat cross-legged as she often did when answering the phone. 'It's okay, Tony, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere,' she reassured.
'Sorry, I think the worry is going to remain with me.'
'I can only imagine what it was like for you, being alone for five years. But I'm here. Everyone is back, thanks to you.'
They listened to each other breathe for a few seconds, gathering themselves.
'Thank you.'
'Any time. Was that why you were calling?'
It was, but there was something he could ask her while she was on the phone.
'I need your help.'
'Still haven't made a move on Stephen?' she teased.
The insides of his stomach twisted with guilt as he remembered their argument. He understood Stephen's concerns, he did, but Tony couldn't let this go.
'Not yet, I'm waiting for all my business in New Asgard to be concluded.'
'Business...Tony, I thought you'd nearly finished with the arc reactor.'
'Not quite.'
'Then what-'
'I need your help as a PA. It's regarding Loki.'
There was a long silence.
'You do not pay me enough to organise that shitstorm.'
Tony stared down at the fur covering his legs with a smile, smoothing his hand over the silkiness.
'Miss Potts, you did not just swear!'
'You can't be serious!'
'Come on. You managed to turn my public image around!' Tony pleaded.
'You didn't murder people! Or wage war on New York and Earth!' Pepper shrieked.
'You don't think my weapons did?'
It was the same argument he used on Stephen. Honestly, he wasn't so sure why he was fighting Loki's corner as hard as he was, there was just something he felt when he looked at the proud Asgardian. A feeling that beneath the sarcasm and charming façade, there was a being that was hurt and lost.
As Tony had been.
He'd turned away the help the Avengers had offered him in the five years of the snap, had initially driven Stephen away when Thanos was gone. Tony knew that without Stephen's patience, guidance, understanding, and sometimes tough love, he would probably have given up.
'Pepper, trust me, he's different, and I want to help him. I want us all to move forward from Thanos's shadow, and he suffered as much as we all did, if not more.'
'You honestly believe that?'
'Yeah Pep, he needs someone in his corner, like how you and Rhodey were there for me. How Stephen helped me get back on my feet. Thor's a great guy, and I think he's trying his hardest to mend their relationship, but he isn't great with Earth customs, and hey, he's a literal thunder God, so he can get away with most things, and people laugh it off. But the God of Mischief? Who declared war on us?'
'Jesus Christ Tony, you never pick the easy ones do you?'
He could hear the cogs in Pepper's head turning, her nails tapping across the book she'd probably been reading before Tony had rung to interrupt her.
'You'll have to handle this delicately, get people used to seeing you and Loki together. You're the literal saviour of the universe. Your approval of him will go a long way, but he'll need to be seen making amends by himself too. Charity benefits, working alongside the Avengers, he needs to prove himself to humanity.'
He nodded along, making agreeing noises and explaining his plan for a social function, relieved when Pepper agreed.
'Tony, remember you can't save everyone.'
'Funny, I thought I did,' he teased. 'Thanks, Pep. Now, I've got to go see Thor before I start anything. Keep my company running smoothly for me, alright?'
'Will do, call me if you need anything. Anything, Tony.'
He stared out of the window for a few minutes, reassuring himself that she was back.
'Would you like me to monitor Miss Potts' vitals for you, boss?'
He nodded, needing the reassurance, knowing that Pepper knew what FRIDAY was doing, and loved her all the more for allowing it. He couldn't help it. After five years alone, he needed to know that the people he loved were safe, that they couldn't be snatched from him with a mere snap of the fingers.
I'm not losing anyone I love again.
*******************
Tony turned the crust of bread over and over in his hands. He hated Norway, it was official. It was freezing, damp, and the sea's constant noise was distressing his nerves. Placing the crust back on his plate, he looked up and down the medieval banquet table.
The Asgardian's broke their fast together, tried to reconvene in the Great Hall for lunch and dinner too, which Tony kept missing due to his building the arc reactor. There was a sense of community, camaraderie that he seldom saw in his own culture. It was understandable, they had lost their home and were now essentially stranded on an alien planet at the mercy of their hospitality.
Loki was sitting close to Thor, dressed in his leather tunic and gold armour, disinterested in his own breakfast, much like Tony was. Thinking about it, he couldn't recall a time Loki had indulged in the feasting his people did, instead choosing to nibble on fruit or bread daintily.
Or sweet things. He'd seen Loki pack those away.
Watching him made him think of Stephen. God damn it, he was still mad at the man, but there was a little niggling sense that he might be right.
Not that Tony would ever admit that.
However, he trusted Stephen's judgement, and that's what made him get to his feet, walking across the cobbled floor to approach Thor.
'Tony!' Thor boomed, pulling him into a one-armed hug. 'Are you well? Is there anything you need?'
'I'm good thanks, Point Break. Can I have a word when you're not busy being king?'
'You are welcome to talk now,' Thor smiled, patting the seat beside him.
'I think Stark means he wishes to talk to you in privacy,' Loki rolled his eyes, pushing away from the table. 'I will see you later.' Green eyes met his for the briefest of moments.
'Come, let us walk.'
Tony waited until they were a few corridors away from the hall, doing a quick scan to see if they were alone, wishing that FRIDAY could do a scan.
'We are alone, none can hear us here. What ails you, friend?'
'I think I can solve your problem, about people's distrust of Loki.'
God, he hoped he wasn't going to regret this.
'I need to know, can we, as Avengers, trust him? You have your blinkers on when it comes to Loki.'
Thor didn't answer at once, taking the time to think about his answer, which Tony appreciated. If he'd responded straight away, boasting about his brother, then Tony's doubts would have been confirmed.
'You are a defender of this planet. I respect you tremendously, Tony Stark. I would not pull the wool over your eyes over this matter. You can trust me. If I believed Loki to be a threat to any of you, he would not be here.'
Tony couldn't think of an easy way to bring up the next part of his question, shifting from foot to foot, hands rubbing up and down his arms in a pitiful attempt to warm them.
'You are worried he will betray me once again?' Thor took his cloak off and wrapped it around Tony's shoulders.
'Something like that,' Tony nodded his thanks, huddling under the material.
'He has changed, as have I. I am no longer the naïve person I once was, and Loki has grown too. I don't think he will betray us, not because of blind love for him, but because of what he lost, of how he fought for me and our people.'
'I told him once that life was about growth and change, and that he could be more. More than just the God of Mischief. I gave him a chance, and he took it.'
Tony felt as if a weight had been taken from his shoulders.
'Sometimes, that's all we need. A chance. I want to help him. Help you both.'
*******************
Loki was surprised to see Stark waiting for him in the kitchens late at night, drawing something on a device of his. He contemplated leaving, teleporting back to his room, but the frown on Stark's face made him take a step forward.
'Do you never sleep?'
When Stark looked up, Loki had his answer. He had dark smudges under his eyes, the haunted look of one who was tormented by his dreamscape.
That, Loki understood.
'Not well near water. I'm sorry, about Stephen.' Stark got to his feet.
'Don't be. He's right to be cautious, as you all should be.' Loki sat opposite Stark at the table, holding his chin in his hand as he looked across at him.
'He's an arrogant asshole when he wants to be, probably one of the reasons I like him...' Stark trailed off, mumbling the last part to himself.
'I am touched you saw the need to seek me out, but you really shouldn't have bothered.'
'Cut the bullshit, alright? I can play the game better than you, so stop the pretence.'
Oh, Loki liked that the mortal had a spark, a fire of his own.
'What pretence would that be?' Loki pushed, a hint of a grin playing at his lips.
'The one where you wrap all the snark and confidence around yourself, acting like nothing matters, that you're impervious to it all,' Stark snapped.
'Spoken from experience,' Loki whispered, seeing himself reflected in this mortal, alike in many ways.
'I've been thinking of some ways to help you.'
What?
Loki's immediate reaction was to ask why, and how it would benefit Stark, but he kept his confident façade going, waving his hand to show he was listening.
'You need better PR,' Stark tapped his machine, a hologram projecting between their faces, showing files, articles about Loki. 'This is what the world thinks about you. This is what we need to change.'
'We?' Loki scoffed, folding his arms across his chest.
'Yes, we. So, I'm thinking a hosted event here, given by you and Thor, let the media see you're not a monster, get people to see Thanos manipulated you.'
'Stark...'
'It'll be a good idea to get Wakanda on side as well. If you could become trade partners, it would help your city, and your ratings.'
'Why do you care so much? You're only here to help Thor with an energy source, now you've created a whole project at reforming me in your people's eyes?'
Stark went silent, looking down at the table, shutting down the files and leaving the air between them empty again.
'The offer is there. If you have a better way of handling it, then be my guest. I'm going to get going. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.'
Stark wouldn't meet his eyes as he got up, snatching up his device. Loki stopped him effortlessly with a hand to the shoulder. Stark didn't resist, watching with narrowed eyes as Loki pushed him back into his seat, dragging the chair around so they faced each other.
Norns, this mortal was genuine. He wasn't asking for anything in return. His eyes were earnest, his speech clear of double meanings. Was Loki so jaded and distrustful that he couldn't recognise it when it was right in front of him?
Yes.
Yes, he was.
'You know, I find myself grateful my efforts at conquering your planet were thwarted.' Loki crossed his legs at the ankle, stretching his body out, knowing that countless others had desired him in this pose, that it showed off his body.
Sure enough, Stark's gaze travelled over his frame, lingering over his legs. Loki's hands rested on his hip, drawing Stark's attention to his groin.
'Yeah? Guess it's good to have somewhere to live.' Stark crossed his arms, blinking once and looking away.
Loki stretched forward on his chair, giving the mortal plenty of opportunity to escape, placing his hands carefully on the arms of Stark's chair and leaning in close to his body.
'There is that. And it would have been a waste if you had perished,' Loki whispered near his ear.
This Loki was more comfortable with, the understanding that you needed to give something in order to receive. He didn't trust that Stark's offer didn't come with stipulations, demands.
'Why's that?' Stark said, his voice thick, but he remained still.
Loki teased a little more, skimming his hands over muscled thighs, thumbs provocatively trailing up the insides.
'I hate opportunities missed,' Loki murmured near his mouth, close enough that they were sharing breath.
He could smell the mortal's reaction to his words, the tightening of the material over his cock, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. Oh, Loki couldn't wait to see the expression on Strange's face as he paraded this little victory around, and if it guaranteed him Stark's help, then all the better.
Stark lifted his hand, cupping the back of Loki's neck. Instead of drawing him nearer, he held him steady, not allowing him any closer. A wicked smile twisted Stark's lips as he reached up to speak his answer against Loki's mouth.
'If you'd have asked me that day you threw me from the window to fuck, I'd have been down for that. I've always thought you were gorgeous. Deadly. But you're a few years too late, Lokes.'
He could feel the heat radiating from Stark's hands as he wrapped his fingers around Loki's wrists, peeling them away from his thighs.
'You want this, I can feel it. Why are you resisting me?' Loki was bewildered, curious.
'I've been here. Used my body to sleep with people to secure contacts for Stark Industries, funding, anything I've wanted. I ran myself into the ground trying to help my old team with the Accords, thinking that I owed them. Understanding that no one ever wanted me, but what I could offer them.'
He pushed Loki away, his touch gentle, but firm.
'I know how it feels, the confusion that someone might want to help just because they want to, not because they're expecting anything. You have no reason to trust me, but I promise you I'm not doing this for any ulterior motives.'
Loki watched as he got to his feet. As he walked away, his mind snagged on Stark's words.
'You said a few years too late. What do you mean by that?'
'I've changed. Call me middle-aged, sentimental, whatever you want. My life doesn't revolve around sex anymore.'
'You want affection, ridiculous notions of love?' Loki asked.
Stark hesitated by the door, his fingers digging into the stone wall.
'Something like that. I know...it's probably impossible. No, it is impossible, but hey, I destroyed Thanos, who knows.'
TBC