"Dis aliter visum." -Virgil
The gods thought otherwise.
"But, I love you!"
"Eddy, we both know that's a lie... I've seen the way you look at Brett!"
"Brett's like a brother to me now... We've known each other for years... It's normal for me to look up after him."
"Eddy, what you're doing is looking at him more than that! Please stop kidding yourself around. I know you're in love with Brett... You look at him like he's you're everything."
"He is! He's like the older brother I never had. He always looked after me and that never changed!"
There's silence, until Toni was crying.
"Eddy, let's just break up... This isn't doing us any good. You need to evaluate your feelings and I need to know if you're really in love with me..." Toni said, wiping her tears.
"But Toni... I'm sure that I love you..." Eddy said, crying too.
Toni just walked out of the practice room and didn't look back at Eddy. Brett had passed Toni by and decided to ask her what happened.
"He- Eddy... He loves someone else..." Toni said, sobbing on Brett's shoulder.
"Wait, did he tell you?" Brett asked. "How dare he break your heart?" Brett added, getting upset at the thought of Eddy breaking up with her.
He might be in love with Eddy, but he knew Eddy was in love with Toni. Brett can't get in the way of that.
"Brett, he didn't tell me. I just know. He's in denial, too." Toni said.
"Shh, come on... Don't cry now, Toni... I'll talk to him, okay? Do you want I'll send you home?" Brett asked.
"Please..." Toni said, walking with Brett.
After Brett had driven Toni home, he immediately went to Eddy.
"Bro... What did you do?" Brett asked.
"Nothing! She just told me what 'I'm not seeing' apparently..."
"What you're not seeing?" Brett clarified.
"She told me that I'm in love with someone else, but I'm in denial..." Eddy said steadily, not mentioning the name that Toni had mentioned.
Brett was quiet for a while... Did Toni figure it all out?
"Well, are you in love with someone else?" Brett asked again, trying to keep his voice steady and cool.
"No..." Eddy said, quite unsure himself.
Toni just made him question everything at this stage. Was he in love with Brett? No, that's not possible. He was straight, surely. He was in love with Toni, he was sure of it.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her back. I think she deserves an explanation and an apology." Brett said, trying to mend them back together.
It seemed that Eddy was sure, so who was Brett to get in the way of that? He's a best friend... What he should be doing is supporting Eddy.
"It's just... She told me that I look at you differently. She said that I look at you as if you were my everything. At this point, you are everything to me. I've known you for years but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you. She's just so convinced that I'm in love with you, like she's so certain of it." Eddy ranted, terribly frustrated.
Oh, Eddy, even your girlfriend sees through me. How could you not see?
"Well, all I know is you're certain that you love her... You need to get her back." Brett said, pushing the thought of pulling Eddy close away.
"I will. Thanks Brett." Eddy said, engulfing Brett in a hug.
Brett can't move to hug him back, so he just patted Eddy's head. With that, Eddy walked off and left him with a rapid heart rate.
- - - - -
"Brett!" Jordon said, snapping his fingers in front of Brett's face. "You okay, man?" He asked.
Brett shook himself back to reality, nodding at Jordon's question.
"Really, you seem out of it recently? Something bothering you?" Jordon asked as he set down his violin gently on the case.
"Kinda... I mean, I can't tell if it's a love problem or whatever... It's just, um, have you ever been in love?" Brett asked.
"I'd like to think I was. Love really depends on the person... Some view crushes as love, some don't consider their feelings love even if they're already in deep shit. It's all objective." Jordon thoughtfully answered, sitting down in front of Brett. "Either way, if it's love then it's worth considering. Specially if you make your own feelings valid." Jordon added.
"Wow, that deep shit man..." Brett replied. Jordon laughed a little and asked Brett a question.
"You in love?"
Brett was silent for a while, contemplating these feelings he's been having towards Eddy recently. Was he really in love with Eddy?
"No... I don't think so." Brett replied quietly.
"You're saying no because you really don't wanna be in love... But the way you thought about it, you need to reconsider. You might be the second person I was describing earlier." Jordon replied, smiling at his friend.
"You don't understand, Jordon... I can't love this person. We're not destined for each other." Brett replied, resting his head on his chin.
"So what if you weren't destined for each other? Fuck that destiny shit man, you should just go for it."
"No, the risk's too much... He's also in love with someone else..."
"He?"
Both went quiet for minute, waiting for each other to speak up. Jordon was the one to break the silence.
"I can't believe I haven't seen it before. You're in love with Eddy!" Jordon beamed with so much glee.
"You aren't weirded out?" Brett asked, still in shocked on how well Jordon is taking it.
"Man, it's 2012... Internalized homophobia is not cool anymore. Even if everyone around us is using it as an insult even if it isn't... Nothing wrong with loving, Brett."
"You sound like you've got shit all figured out... You've been around a lot, huh?"
"You've been told about past lives, yeah?" Jordon inquired.
"Yeah... How they appear in your lives in subtle ways. Mostly dreams or deja vu." Brett replied.
"Well, my soul's past life suffered a lot... I don't know exactly who he is because his language was foreign. All I knew is he was gay and it was illegal for his time to love. He was viewed as a sinner... A very terrible one because of something he can't control." Jordon said, feeling the pain deep in his chest.
"Aw, that's horrible, bro..." Brett answered, looking at Jordon sadly. "But do you think you're gay?" He added.
"I don't think I am. I haven't been in love with a man, but I don't think it's impossible. Love is love, after all." Jordon answered thoughtfully. "Let's go back. You love Eddy? Since when? How did you find out?" Jordon asked quickly.
"I don't think I'm in love with him... I've liked him since I was seventeen and he was sixteen, roughly. I don't remember the exact date I liked him but the moment I was aware I liked him was that time. Maybe I liked him before but never actively thought of it..." Brett replied.
Jordon was quiet, gesturing for Brett to continue.
"I found out when I dreamt of my past life. His face wasn't the same, even his personality... But I could feel that it was him. He had the same name but uses Edward. He played the violin. He was a con student and I was a professor, the first time I dreamt of our past life. He wanted me to mentor him privately..." Brett said, closing his eyes and clenching his fist at the memory.
"The first time we shook hands in that dream, I felt a shock... Even if I am just like a spectator in the dream, it felt real. It's when I was aware that I liked him." Brett added.
Jordon smiled, not saying anything. If his prediction was right, this is where Brett will finally realize that he's-
"I'm in love with Eddy... Oh my God, I'm in love with Eddy!" Brett said with glee. "I'm in love with Eddy..." Brett said, a bit more somber now.
Brett started tearing up, wiping his tears quickly. Jordon set his chair closer to Brett so that he could cry on his shoulder. Brett was quick to allow himself in Jordon's arms. He was crying and Jordon rubbed circles on his back.
"You could cry. Don't feel bad, bro. You'll be fine..." Jordon said, not really knowing how to comfort a crying person.
Jordon is usually uncomfortable when someone holds him so close, but his friend was crying. He doesn't mind if it's Brett.
"Jordon..." Brett cried, even harder than before.
Jordon was a good person, not perfect but good. He isn't one to think of malicious things, but the way Brett uttered his name... Something in him seemed awakened, a desire of some sort. Good or bad, he doesn't know. For now, he holds Brett close for comfort.