One Week.
It has already been one week since I started working here. I never think that I would have a bad time or impression here since I'm like Shone who's extroverted and easy to befriend with. Plus the people around are all kind and keen to help you if you need some, everything went well than I had ever imagined.
What I'm doing here is just sorting out the papers from the department beside this office, it's intricate to talk about but I sometimes indulge myself with some heavy workloads.
And guess what, I'm enjoyinh every ounce of it!
"Cavin, fancy to join us for lunch now?"
Estrella, the woman beside my desk is the one who said that. I looked up, only to see her with her usual Starbucks cup in her hand. Is it lunch already?
"Where you planning to have lunch with?"
"Outside? There's a new cafeteria and we wanted to see if they can beat this love of my life," pointing to the cup she's grasping on.
I snickered and told her that I'm saving money. What I like about her is that she's easy to talk to. If you said nothing is wrong, she'd believe you. If you said there's a mistake, she's believe and make it somehow right. If you taken down her offer, she wouldn't hold a grudge and just wait for the day until you finally give in.
One week. And I already know some of their traits. Now it got me thinking whether if they can see through me. What are they thinking about me?
The bin I usually putting trash is overloaded already. I put the cover out and went behind to dispose it in a black plastic bag. I was about to turn it back when Damien catches my sight.
"Oh, you didn't go out for lunch?"
I put down the bin, "Saving money, that's why."
Damien chuckled and asked what did I do. I answered him right away and I suppose that's the end. He's holding piles of folders, "Where you going?"
"I'm gonna send this to the upper floor. This needs revisions and I'm catching my time since I still have a meeting ten minutes from now."
My mind became a mess right after. I sanitize my hand for a while and handed him my hand. "Pleasure to me to do that instead of you."
"You don't need. Besides, you're doing another works so I'll do mine."
But I stopped him from leaving by holding his shoulder. That even there's a sheet of cloth in between mine and his body, I felt like I got electrified.
"No, I'm almost done. You mentioned you have a meeting? I'd suggest you better get ready than to run here from there. It's fine for me."
His eyes lingered again, and after what happened that day he brings me to the CEO's mansion, today is the another time he did those again.
"Do I still have a choice?"
I chuckled and asked where it should be. After hearing where I'm bringing this, I pushed him to go back to his office. Even when I'm already outside, he's still watching me over.
Don't give me hope, Mr. Lister. We can't have any hope, we know that.
There's only myself who taken the elevator. Probably because all of them is now outside. Oh, damn, will there be someone I can left these later?
My eyes look for the reminder Damien told me and softly sighed upon seeing it. I knocked and someone asked me to come it. There. I can leave this without any troubles.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Lister said these documents needs some revisions. He didn't state what should be but I suppose you know it already?"
I let her dwell on the papers inside and nods her head, "Yes. Yes, we already know what we're gonna do. Thank you for bringing it."
"You're welcome. Have a great day."
I am supposed to close the door and go back to my desk and finish this day when someone caught my eyes. It's the CEO coming out from the other door!
I can feel the embarrassment I though was gone already stirring inside me. He's not the only one who got out from the other room, there's another man with him.
"That's a funny words from you, Mr. Parkes! I didn't know you're such a clown inside of that expensive suit!" the man chuckles.
My heart is asking me to runaway now while they still don't know I'm here but my brain wins again. I can't find any energy to lift one of my fucking leg.
"When life's been fucking you every day, all you need to fight it was too laught it off." CEO Matthew shooks his head and glanced on my side.
Fucking fuck!
Took three seconds the man noticed CEO Matthew's attention isn't with him anymore. Both of them are looking at me now, but his was more intense than the last one.
We all looked like stupid, staring at each other, wanting to talk but silence is kinda preferable. Good, Cavin! Now look what you've got!
"He's a new face in here. New employee?" the man asks.
CEO didn't respond but cocked his head, I gulped harder. "Good Afternoon to the both of you," I greeten them and took a five counts bow.
After that, the man is laughing and there's a big grin from the CEO now. Come on, don't look at me like that. I'll keep what I saw as clandestine thing!
When I finally got the energy back, I hurried traipse away from them. My fingers are shaking while tapping the elevator button. Please! Please! Don't let me be with him in one place again!
And when it finally opens, I swiftly closed it right away. Stupid, Cavin! You could've run right away!
***
"Is your friend gonna pick you up?" Damien asked.
"Don't know. He texted me earlier there would be a late meetings so I presume, he's not."
It's already night, and we just got out of work. After the encounter I had from CEO Matthew and the man, there's a lot of papers came so I never got the chance to think about it again.
Frankly, this moment I could think of what I did earlier. Stupid.
"What's funny?"
Oh. "Did I laugh? I just think of something."
"It seems like there's a lot of things running in you that's why you never talk while at work, huh?"
"Am I silent the whole time?"
"I can't tell you. I'm desks away from where you are," he smiles sweetly.
"So how did you tell those words at me? Like you already know I'm not that noisy?"
"When I bring you in CEO's house. And while you're in my office. You barely talk I'm afraid you're planning to burn the building down."
A long laughter escaped mine. "You should be thankful I'm not like that."
"Not talking too much?"
"Planning putting the building on fire." Damien beamed again and put his hand in his pocket.
We were engulfed in silence. I wanted to ask him why he's still not leaving, he has car, he can leave me now. I can just hail a taxi to be home. But the silence is comforting.
When a set of cars passed us by, that's the sign I need to say goodbye. "You should go now, and I should too. Let's just see each other tomorrow?"
I'm holding on to my paper bag and couldn't wait to lay on my bed when he held me on my arm.
What..
"Wait.."
"W-why?"
He looks away and bit his lips. Was I too busy being surprised by how brawny his body looks like I never get the chance to see how red and plump his lips are?
God. I'm probably thinking this because my lips are close to the borderline of thin! That's it! That's the only reason!
My eyes went down to his, I can feel him trembling from there. "Can I ask you a question?"
"With this?" I pointed his hand. He immediately took it back.
"Sorry. Sorry. I just don't want you to go away that fast."
"What do you want to ask?"
Back to the months I'm admitted in hospital, all I'm thinking was how am I gonna heal and would there be still life waiting for me out of this white premises? I'm not telling this to Shone due to the fact I wanted him to not be more stressed than he is.
The fact that he didn't even do anything why I ended up being treated... yet he stayed... because I'm the only family he has left.
Now that I'm back and I can no longer worry Shone too much, can I start now looking at myself and... if it's alright, to someone else... again?
Though the past really hurt me to the point I almost lost my life but I don't want it to dictate what I want to do again.
I can still try. I can still bet. But I'd be more careful now. I'd heed more to the people around me.
"Are you free on Saturday? Can I take you out that day?" Damien asked.
***
"The marketing department wantes to see the finished papers as soon as possible. Although it's already done by some of us, there's still left and the promised to be done by tomorrow right away. And another... nothing else."
Damien nods his head, "That's very kind of you, Cavin, thank you for informing me."
I hugged my folder and stared at him. While I'm reading, his eyes are on me. Since I'm done already, he's back to his job. I should be going now but...
"Oh? Do you still have anything to say?"
"That's all I have, Mr. Damien." I answered.
His body stiffens when I called him that. After he asked me to drop the Mr. in him when we're not in work, I always sense this from him.
Damien tends to be shocked or surprised or be stiff after I called him with formalities. I don't want to color it with my best colors, maybe he's just enduring something in him.
"You can continue your work now, Cavin." he ordered.
"Ah, Damien," I began. "For Saturday... d-do you meant that?"
This room suddenly felt too small. I can't move. I can't breathe properly. The only way to suffice it is for him to answer my question.
Friday is the date now, tomorrow is Saturday. I'm just making sure if he's keen to what he asked because after that night, he never brought it up like it never happened.
Perhaps I was just dreaming. But I am absolutely living in my reality.
"Of course. Why would I make a promise I can't keep?"
Oh. At least, I feel better now. "But why? Are we seeing someone again? Does someone from outside gonna joins us?"
I watched him put his left hand on table and play the pen in between his lips. I gulped... hard.
"Can you hear them talking about something going out for tomorrow? With me?"
I looked behind me and sheepishly shakes my head.
"Then that should be an answer for you, Cavin."
"B-but why? Why... only me?" I asked, again, but pointing at my chest.
This conversation is starting to sound and feel absurd.. what if he's just being nice and wanted to know his new co-worker so he would know what to expect and what do if something happens and I couldn't give a remedy?
What if he.. had done this to the others too?
I should probably ask Estrella.
"Why not?"
My heart beats faster when he stood up and locked me in between of his arms. His scent kind of reminds me of Shone's. But his was way more stronger, probably he put too much this morning.
"Mr. Damien.." my voice broke.
"Oh, God, I like it when you call me that.." he grins.
"B-but you said you don't want me.. to call you that?"
"I told you to drop it if not necessary." he shortly answered.
We're in that position, so close our body might became one when a knock woke us up. It was him the first one to let me go.
But his arm find a way to my back and pinch it before letting it go. What was... that?
"Who is it?"
Damien opens the door and it's Estrella. She got a folder on her chest too, her eyes found mine and asked to come near her.
He gave me a way, and again, his arms snaked on my back before giving it up.
"I'm sorry to have Cavin out from you, Mr. Lister but someone's looking for him."
"Huh? Me?"
"Yes! Actually, Mr. Parkes' been outside for five minutes! You're taking a long time here so I decided to knock."
Damien eyed me, "Who? Director Parkes?"
"No, Mister. It's the CEO looking for Cavin. He's inviting him over to his office for a short time."
All I think was Estrella's making a prank at me for saying that but as soon as I saw who's really waiting outside, I kept all my composures.
"Can I have him now, Mr. Lister?"
"H-ha?" he faltered. "Sure. How can I say no to our CEO?"
He lets out a weird chuckled but Estrella's a real one laugh. It was him to close the door and she pushed me right away.
"You're taking too long inside? What are you doing?"
"Ah. Nothing. I'm slowly telling him what he needs to know so he won't miss any spot."
Looks like she bought it and lets me go when we're in front of the door. CEO Matthew's squinted eyes swiftly stared at me.
Oh, no.
"Here he is, Mr. Parkes. Apologies for making you wait."
"No. It's all good." he smiled. "Shall we, Mr. Cavin?"
Don't call me that.
"Y-yes. Thank you, Estrella."
CEO walked first and I'm tailing him from behind. While we're in the hallway, the employees is greeting him and smiling at me. I grab the chance to look at them because when there's no people, I'm staring down at my shoes.
My mind can't stare at him. Even at his back. Especially it was his back the one I saw from that room. The same back I saw...
"Why are you tailing me?"
"H-huh?"
He's looking me down, just like what Damien's doing beside me. Yeah, right! I'm small! The hell I wasn't blessed in terms of height?
"I said why are you tailing me like a dog?"
"Uh.." I paused. "I don't see any reason to walk along with you CEO, that's why."
My insides are starting to melt down. I can attest now how he is different to Damien. He's way more softer than him but the charisma is still there..
The charisma Damien's lacking off.
Plus his small eyes and small face but in well-built body and long legs? I'm starting to believe God adores some children, not everyone.
A silence followed it until he hungs up his long arm behind my neck, "Don't tail me like a dog. You're too precious to be a dog or a shadow of mine, am I correct?"
"C-CEO.."
"My name's Matthew. Not CEO."
"CEO, I should call you that because you're our bo—"
The elevator opens up and he pulled me in and as soon as the door closed, he shove me on the wall, not minding if my back hit the metal hanging on it.
"My name's Matthew and nothing else. The next time you're gonna call me that, this isn't the only one you're getting."
The next thing I knew was he's kissing me hard my body letting his hands wander all over my bare chest.