I hardly got any sleep . Yanda kept on overheating and I used a wash rag dipped in a bowl with iced water to cool him down. He kept on groaning in pain and it took everything in me not to give him another dose of the painkillers. He finally fell off to sleep around 4am. I lazily got out of bed at 7am took a quick shower and pulled on Yanda's sweatpants and shirt hoping to make it upstairs without my parents in law spotting me dressed like this. I quickly gave that up when I saw the lot of them bustling in the kitchen. "Morning my baby. You look like you hardly got any sleep." MaBhengu said as she slid a plate of pancakes to me over the counter. "Good morning everybody. We didn't sleep much. Yanda kept on overheating but he's asleep now." I replied in a voice I hardly recognized as my own.
"Sisi we can't stay. I for one have three deadlines to meet this week but I'm only a call away if you need me." Meluleki said in between spoonfuls of cereal which earned him a glare from mama. "Quit eating like a pig!" MaBhengu reprimanded him as she walked past him giving him a slap upside the head. He grumbled as he brushed his head. We all laughed at his scowl and shared our breakfast over mindless chatter.
"Koti May I have a word please." MaBhengu said after her other children had left and baba went to check on Yanda. "Yes mama." I replied wringing the dishcloth I'd been wiping the dishes with dry with. "How are you doing child. I know everyone is concerned with the weight of Yanda's illness on him but overlook how it's affected you too." I looked at her willing the tears not to fall when words failed to come out. She pulled me into a hug and I just crumbled in her warm embrace. We sat there waiting for my hiccups to subside. " It's hard mama but I love him and right now nothing matters more than that. I'll be patient with him. He'll come back to me and we'll get through this together." She looked at me and now it was her who was trying hard not to let the tears fall. " Thank you baby. I fear wives aren't told that often enough. You owe no one strength. If you want to break down I'll drive all the way here so you'll have my shoulder to cry on. You and your needs matter. I'm grateful that Yanda has a selfless wife but I don't want you to be consumed by caring for his needs so much you neglect your own." She spoke her eyes not moving away from mine and I could see the sincerity in them. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words until MaBhengu said them. I was grateful to have her as a mother. "Thank you mama. I will take care I promise." She nodded seemingly happy with my answer. "We'll be on our way today but please don't hesitate to call us if you need us. It's just that I know you youngins don't want us infringing your space longer than necessary." She said laughing to herself before she left the kitchen.
I decided to make Yanda some omelettes. Those would be soft enough. As I was about to knock on our new bedroom door baba opened the door "Thank you ntombi yami." He said softly smiling at me before he walked away. "Good morning love. I made you omelettes." I said as I stood at the door and we stared at each other. He just blinked at me. My heart sank in disappointment but I didn't let my smile falter. I walked over to his side of the bed and sat next to where he lay with his back on the headboard. "I'll be going to work, I'll call the hospital and hear when they can arrange for a nurse to come in with your treatment. I'll leave your lunch in the microwave and I'll comeback to prepare your dinner before I go to the hospital." I spoke even though I didn't know whether he was listening to me. I cut up the omelettes into small pieces and picked up a piece and lifted it to his lips. He looked at me with a scowl but I was unbothered. He eventually opened his mouth and I fed him the omelettes as we sat there in silence. I did a little victory dance when I looked down at the plate and it was empty. I handed him his glass of juice with his painkillers which he finished in two gulps.
"Let's get you clean." I said placing the tray on the pedestal and helped Yanda out of bed. After I'd helped him get into the tub he looked at me expectantly making me chuckle. "I've already showered if I join you I'll be later than I already am." I explained and he nodded. I helped him bathe being careful not to hurt him when I reached his genitals. He again withdrew into himself when I got there, not that the room was filled with chatter before but the air shifted when I washed his penis. It didn't react to my touch. They'd prescribed pills that'd decrease his libido as erections would prolong the healing of his stitches. I'm sure the sight of his limp penis in my hands didn't help his self esteem at the moment.
I helped him out of the tub and we waddled into the bedroom and we stopped at the center and I dried him up. I took extra care when I got to his stitches. The inflammation had slightly gone down. I disinfected the stitches and applied ointment on it before lotionioning his whole body. I wish we'd shared these moments under different circumstances. I loved the intimacy of it. I wanted to kiss him until I was breathless but I was too afraid he'd reject me. He wasn't my Yanda he was so withdrawn and so sad it seeped out of his pores and enveloped the entire room.
"I'll go get you a change of clothes. I'll move some of our things down here over the weekend." I informed him. I didn't know why I bothered speaking because he wouldn't respond either way. Maybe it's because I wanted him to know I don't resent him for how things were and caring for him wasn't a burden. I didn't want him to second guess where we stood and come up with conclusions drawn from my silence. I rushed upstairs got dressed and tied up my unruly mess of hair In a pony and picked out a soft pair of sweats and a shirt for Yanda and made my way downstairs.
I helped him get dressed and into bed and he sighed in relief. "I'll see you at around 17:00. I'll call you and tell you what the hospital says. Please call me if you need me and if the side effects get too much. I mean it Yanda! I love you." I whispered lastly and placed a kiss on his forehead tucking him in despite his grumbling. I turned to see mama and baba looking at us with fond eyes. I blushed and hurriedly dismissed myself after bidding them farewell and a safe trip.
I'd sent an email to Dr Sithole yesterday explaining my predicament so he'd squeezed in all my appointments that were before 10:00. The first thing I did when I got to work at 9:30, was call the hospital and they said a nurse would be dispatched for 14:00. "Hello." Yanda's deep voice came through the other end and I found myself smiling instead speaking. "Hello?" He asked getting impatient. "Hey it's me. The nurse will be there at 14:00. Please rest. No work! I'm serious Hadebe!" I think I heard him chuckle or was it a scoff? I chose to think it was a chuckle. "Okay Doctor wife but only if I get something in return." I could hear the humor that laced his voice. His personality slightly rearing it's head. I decided to humor him only cause I didn't know when mopey Yanda would show up. "And what do you want?" I reluctantly asked. " How about not having baby food for dinner tonight?" He knew he was taking a fat chance with that one so without even missing a beat I turned him down. "No but I'll bath with you tomorrow morning. How about that?" He didn't even let me finish before he agreed. "I need to get to work now. I love you." We were once again encompassed in silence before he whispered an okay. Mopey Yanda once again stole my husband away. The line went dead before I could say anything. I felt tears sting my eyes but I didn't dwell on the emotions swirling inside. I called reception to let in my first patient.
The day flew by and I immersed myself in work. The children that I saw throughout the day lifted my spirits. I truly hope I one day get to hear children's laughter even their cries echo in the walls of our house one day. Although I hope the former is heard more often than the latter. I was interrupted from these thoughts as I packed my briefcase by a knock on the door. "Come in." I said and Dr Sithole popped in. "Hey Doc. How are you and Hadebe holding up?" He asked reluctantly. "We'll be okay." I whispered. "I was just ensuring , well more like checking if that in light of this unfortunate event that we should put someone in your place at the hospital until Hadebe gets better." He asked looking at me awaiting a response.
"I will still work at the hospital. I'll just have to go home and check on him before I drive there and speaking of please send me the address." I said pulling a notepad to write the address. "I admire you! You work tirelessly and you defy your odds and you're great at your job. Your patients needed a great deal of convincing before they agreed to consult with me." I was taken by surprise by his words. I didn't think he paid me any mind. "Thank you. I appreciate your words." He nodded before letting himself out. I finished packing and drove home.
"Bhungane how was your day?" I yelled as soon as I walked into the house and I heard a soccer match playing. I walked into the living room and found him sitting on the couch sulking. I didn't need to ask the reason for his sulking. His team was losing 2-0. I peppered his face with kisses and his face eased into a small smile. Let me get started on dinner and we'll go shower. I need to change into scrubs." He let out an unintelligible response. I boiled some veggies, potatoes and made gravy and marinaded 4 leg quarters and threw them in the oven. I needed something that'd be quick and that was the first meal I thought of.
"Let's go shower." I said as I threw myself next to him and nuzzled into his neck. He then started massaging my neck easing the knots there and I sighed in satisfaction. "Don't go. You're tired." He said in a soft voice. "I already agreed. I can't back-out now." I replied back just as softly. "Don't .worry .over .weekends .you'll have me all. to .yourself." I replied punctuating each word with a kiss on his neck and I felt him stiffen and like that our mood is ruined. I wanted so badly to yell at him that sex isn't the only act that equates to intimacy because I hated how every time I say something that could be said in reference to sex his whole mood shifted. "Let's go shower." I whispered gently and helped him off the only couch in the living room. "How was your first treatment?" I asked as we both undressed. "Fine." He grumbled and I knew then to shut my mouth. We showered in silence. Each of us careful not to hog the faucet and bar of soap long enough to have the other ask for it in attempt to avoid communication.
We got out and I just wiped him where he needed my help disinfected the stitches applied the ointment and walked out to check on dinner. I drained the veggies and potatoes of water. I ground some pepper and salt into the veggies, grated lemon zest over them and added a generous spoon of butter onto them and mixed it all together. I added a glass of milk and a spoon of butter to the potatoes and mashed them. I switched off the stove that had gravy on it and checked on the chicken . It needed a few more minutes so I left it and headed upstairs to change.
I got into my scrubs and took three sets of Yanda's comfortable clothes and headed downstairs. I placed two sets on a chair and placed the one on the bed besides him. I then headed to the kitchen dishes up enough food for the pair of us on a plate. I took a deep breath saying a silent prayer asking for patience as I made my way to our room. I sat on the side of the bed whilst he slowly sat up. We ate in the tense silence. He'd gobble up his mouthful before I'd even lifted mine up to my lips. This man are for ten soldiers I swear. I wiped his lips when we were done. "I'll see you later. Goodnight I love you." I said lastly even though I knew I wouldn't get a response. I gave him a peck on the cheek before taking the dishes to the kitchen.
When I got to work I was tired even before I was assigned my first patient. I met Dr Sithole at reception. " Hey doc. Come I'll personally give you a tour of the place before the meeting." I smiled nodding as he first led me to the locker room so I could put away my handbag. "This is the neonatal ward. Everyone's favorite although the males won't admit it." He "whispered" and we shared a laugh as we walked down the hall. "Through there is the labour ward." He didn't even need to tell me. The screams and cry's from mothers and new born was indication enough of which ward that is. "Through that door is the females ward and there is the males. The ICU and NICU is at the end of that passage and we're now headed to the boardroom." I listened and nodded through out the tour.
We were the last two to walk in the boardroom. "I trust that you're familiar with the hospital now Doctor Mkhize. Hello and welcome to our team. I'm doctor Zondo, the head doctor." This Doctor Zondo spoke before we even sat down. " Thank you Doctor." Was all I said and the meeting commenced.
"So this meeting is about division of duties. I think it's important we have this discussion especially since some of us will work part time. I don't want there to be confusion with who's meant to be where. Before you is a roster I drew up that shows who'll be assigned which ward. Before we arjern the meeting I'd like to extend our thanks to the doctors who work a full day and also take away time from their families to come and lend a helping hand here. And lastly are there any questions?" She asked looking around to see if anyone had anything to say. No one did and so we were dismissed.
I could see why she was appointed head doctor. She seemed firm and fair and I knew very well that she had to appear unapproachable as to earn respect from the men around here. I was definitely rooting for her.