ANDDD IM BACK! Hello everyone! How's your day been so far? I hope it went well! I have no announcements to make for today, so let's get on with the story!
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Today is the day we breach Trost. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Lots of my friends are going to die because of me. I won't be able to live with that. I truly care and trust them... and they trust me. What about Eren? What if he gets hurt or even worse he... dies.
I am truly a monster. I came here to help my people back home but I'm destroying the lives of innocent people... mothers... fathers... children. I don't deserve their trust nor their friendship.
I am a monster who's disguised as a soldier.
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Eren's POV
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Today we're cleaning the canons in the Trost district while Connie, Mina, and Thomas say that I've inspired them to join the survey corps. Mikasa, Armin, and y/n have been sent to clean canons on the other side of Trost.
It's been a few years and I've gotten close with y/n. She has a personality that I just can't get out of my head and she trusts me... and I trust her. She encourages me when I'm at my lowest while expecting nothing in return.
She helped me when I couldn't pass the ODM gear practice. She even went as far as giving me hand-to-hand combat training. Any time she has a chance to help me she does. And it's not like how Mikasa helps me... she lets me do most of the works so I learn. She isn't babying me all the time.
Sasha suddenly walks in with a bundle of meat saying she stole it from the officer's pantry while drool fell from her mouth.
"We can share this meat!" she exclaimed as she whipped the drool from her face.
"Imagine all the sandwiches we can make with this meat!" She says with hungry eyes.
"I want a slice!"
"Me too!"
"And me!"
"Save some for the others!"
A sudden flash of lighting appeared behind me and the colossal titan reappeared after 5 years.
I charge straight at it with all my strength.
"I finally see you after 5 years..." I whisper to it as we all get ready to charge at it. As we try to cut its nape a sudden burst was heard down below us taking our attention off it.
"HE BREACHED TROST'S GATE PREPARE FOR BATTLE!" I yell as I try to slay it until it disappears into thin air.
"DAMN YOU!"
All the citizens of Trost were evacuated quickly as all soldiers were called to gather on the outer side of Trost
We were all told to separate into groups by our catalogs. As I was walking toward my group I see y/n with Mikasa. I suppose they're both in the same team. Their skills match just off by a slight.
"EREN! I'll ask the instructor to get paired in your team to protect you." Mikasa yells as she quickly walks towards me. I head butt her and tell her to get back to her team. She was hesitant, but in the end, she agrees as she leaves me to talk to y/n.
"Eren, please take care out there ok... just don't get hurt, it's been 3 long years... please stay safe," Y/n whispers as she walks towards me. "Yeah same to you. We still have lots of titans to slay." I say as I slowly walk towards her. "Yeah, those titans ain't got nothing on Mr. I'mgoingtokillallthetitans." She jokes around.
The instructor yells for us to get to our teams quickly. We say our goodbyes as I can't get her off my mind. She's just... there's something about her that tells me to beware her... and there's something that tells me to get closer to her and kiss her. How can I describe her?
Someone who doesn't seem to have any faults and is always kind to everyone. That describes her. At least that's how she is in my eyes.
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Y/N's POV
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I was walking with Mikasa towards our group. I felt like I was going to explode. As we started slaying titans I suddenly got the urge to throw up. I couldn't hold it in anymore the guilt was killing me.
"Y/n are you ok? Do you need some water you look sick?" Mikasa asked me as I went behind a house to throw up. "I'm fine I just don't feel so well. I probably got dizzy from flying around." I lied.
I knew exactly why I was feeling like this. It's my fault innocent civilians are dead back in wall Maria. And it would have ended the same way for the people of Trost if they hadn't evacuated. They did nothing wrong and yet the people of Marley are so afraid of them.
After we finished with our group we were sent back to check on the others. I felt an urge to see if Eren was alive. I felt an urge to tell everyone that I'm a monster and that it's my fault the wall was breached.
If only we hadn't listened to Reiner and gone back home this would have never happened. But I would have never met Eren. I would have never made friends.
I would have never gotten to care for someone so much that I feel the urge to know if they're ok at all times.
I needed to see Eren and make sure he's alright. I needed to know that he's alive. Something in my heart was begging me to go and see if he's ok. I need to know if he's alive. What is this strange feeling?
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3rd person POV
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By the time Y/N and Mikasa had reached the buildings where the rest of the surviving scouts were everyone was dreading to tell them the news that a certain teal-eyes boy hadn't made it.
"Where's Eren!?!" Y/n yelled franticly at Armin who was sitting down contemplating whether to tell her or not.
"WHERE IS HE DAMNIT!" She yelled as she felt warm crystal tears running down her face.
"Armin... where is Eren... please don't lie to me," Mikasa asked as she stepped closer to Armin.
Armin lifted his face so he could see both of them and told them "I'm sorry... if he hadn't tried to save me he would...." Their eyes widened as y/n fell on her knees.
"He's...gone?" Y/n whispered to herself. Annie started walking towards her as more tears went down her face. Each tear marking that she had something she had waited to tell him.
"Y/n... look, don't cry you knew this would happen one day or another," Annie whispered in her ear as y/n quickly got up.
"We need more gas. There's no point in staying here. If we stay here we'll all get eaten." Y/n said as she quickly walked towards the edge of the building.
"I'm going to go headquarters whether any of you come with me or not." She ran towards the edge and jumped off flying with her ODM gear.
"WAIT Y/N!" Sasha screamed as she saw one of her closest friends take off.
Mikasa started apprehending the soldiers for being weak. Yelling at them for letting their fear get the best of them. In the end, they all took off after Mikasa and Y/n.
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Y/N's POV
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He was gone. There was nothing I could do about it. He was gone because of me. It was my fault. I am the monster who killed him.
Reiner... Bertoldt... Annie... and I finally found a place that we could be happy. Where we could be weak and not be judged for it.
I was finally happy. I finally found someone who I loved. And the person happened to be an Eldian island devil. But... they aren't devils... that was just what we were forced to believe.
We judged them with no doubt and wanted them off the face of the earth. We wanted nothing better than to get rid of them. We are the true devils. And my comrades know that well.
As I was flying towards HQ I heard Mikasa's gear fail. I turned around and started flying as fast as I could towards her. But something thing stopped me. More like someone.
A large handheld me away from defending a friend of mine.
I didn't struggle. I didn't fight. I didn't want to live... because he wasn't here. Those fierce eyes that I had grown close to were gone. The eyes showed courage and the will to live.
But those eyes weren't here. They couldn't give me strength. I was alone once again. Because he wasn't here, to encourage me to move on.
"I-I'm a sorry mother... I won't be able to make it back home..." I shakingly whispered as I felt myself getting closer to the titan's mouth.
Is this how I die?
'He would have wanted you to fight.'
'He would have wanted you to move forward'
'He thinks your strong.'
'You're already good enough...'
'You, him, and everyone else are enough...'
'Fight.'
'Fight.'
'Fight!'
"ARGHHHHH" I yelled as I stuck my blade deep into the titan's hand. Causing him to release me. I slowly fall to the ground as the wind swipes past my body.
I felt my body collide with the hard roof as it began to feel difficult to move. Probably broke some ribs in the fall.
"Fight..." I whispered as I stood up.
"Fight!" I began to feel strength raise within me.
"FIGHT!!!" I yelled as I charged at the Titan with my blade.
A roar was heard from behind me as I felt giant footsteps run past me and onto the Titan in front of me.
My vision began to blur as I heard more people coming near me. I'm saved? I'm being saved by the same people I'm here to kill?
My body was picked up as my vision fully failed me and I started to lose consciousness. I heard yelling and roars around me but I couldn't focus on whose voices I was hearing.
"Eren..." I managed to get that name out of my mouth as I fully lost consciousness. The darkness engulfed me as I felt hot tears run down my face.
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time skip
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I started to wake up as I looked around and saw everyone standing looking scared and worried.
Within the commotion, I spotted Sasha who was ranting that her stomach hurt and she should be sent with the wounded. While Jean tried his best to calm everyone down.
"Sasha... where are we?" I asked her as her headshot in my direction towards me, she began rambling about Eren and something about a Titan.
How long was I out for?
A sudden boom was heard and a flash of lightning struck near where we were. A Titan's transformation.
I looked around and spotted Annie, Bertoldt, and Reiner as they flew towards the sound with me trailing behind them leaving a confused Sasha behind.
As we got closer to the sound we heard yelling and canon fire. We stood on top of a roof as we looked down at the sight of a Titan which seemed to be protecting Mikasa and Armin.
The attack Titan...
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Anddddd CLIFFHANGER! Kaboom! Anyways how'd y'all liked the book so far? Ik some parts feel rushed but I want to get to seasons 2, 3, and 4 because that's where all the heat will be. I'll try and update you tomorrow, but I might not be able to. I'm going through some family problems right now and I feel like I need a hug. But thank you for your support and thank you for reading this book! I love you all! BUG OUT!
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