Draco pulled a chair out for me before slipping down on the seat next to mine. His mother urgently placed the breakfast on the table before us, before joining across it, '' Here—,'' Draco muttered, placing two pancakes on the white porcelain in front of me, pouring my glass full of apple juice,
'' You need to eat something,'' His eyes snapped to my figure, raising a brow at the fact that I indeed had been starving myself, that my body was nothing similar to the last time I believed he saw me. He looked away, trying to follow what Blaise and Narcissa chatted about.
I felt the warmth rushing through me at his acts, not used to him caring for me the way he is now. A shy smile snuck onto my lips, slightly blushing, '' So do you—,'' His eyes locked in mine as he once again rose a brow. I lifted my fork and the piece of pancake resting on it up to his lips, nodding for him to eat — Draco annoyingly rolled his eyes at my gesture before parting his lips to take a bite,
'' This is nice,'' Narcissa's voice caused me to flinch back, almost forgetting that both hers and Blaise's presence, '' To have all of you here — I mean,'' She smiled, slurping on her tea, '' It feels... like old times,'' Draco huffed at her words, earing a slap on the arm from Blaise,
'' Don't be rude, Malfoy,'' Blaise spat at him, his mouth full of bread, '' You need to learn some manners,'' He muttered before swallowing, turning to Narcissa, '' It's nice to be here, Narcissa,'' Blaise smiled back, sending his best friend a glare,
'' No need to lecture Draco, Blaise. He never seems to learn no matter how many times I've tried to,'' She laughed, cutting her cooking in pieces, '' Or do you, son?'' She continued, but the blonde one merely rolled his eyes at the two mocking him before looking back at me,
His eyes searched mine, staring intensely, making sure that I ate every last piece of food holding on my plate. The comfort of his hand moving to rest on my thigh made my insides twist, feeling the cold rings burning into my skin as he lightly stroked it up and down, trailing goosebumps behind him,
The mumbles of Blaise and Narcissa talking echoed between us, but the second I met the blue eyes, everyone around us ceased to exist, nearly to only the two of us was here, emotion flashed through his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, rushing the other hand through his hair, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out, catching his attention,
'' I need to tell you something—,''
''Leiah—,'' Narcissa cleared her throat, putting her fork down, '' I thought we agreed not to speak about this,'' Her words caused Draco's spine off the chair, hands placed over the table as he narrowed blue eyes in his mother's,
'' Tell me what?'' He seethed, understanding that this was about me, '' What are you keeping from me this time, mother?'' He urged annoyingly as the panic tore through my vessels, my heart pounding roughly in my chest,
My eyes flickered to Blaise's, who sat just as confused as his best friend, snapping his eyes between all of us, '' This has nothing to do with you, Draco. This is about Jun—,''
'' If it is about her, then it's about me too,'' Draco stated, hushing his mother down. She shook her head, strands of hair fell over her shoulders as she nervously brushed them off,
'' Well?'' Draco was more than impatient, his neck clocked to mine, raising his brows before furrowing them, '' If she's not telling me, then you are,''
'' Tell me what you're talking about right now, Leiah or I swear to—,''
'' We found a way,'' I heaved out, frightened to the tension growing around us, scared for him to lose his temper, knowing that nothing good will ever come from it, because in one way or another, he will find out —, the blonde one had more than a stubborn mind, and apparently, when it's regarding me, it's even worse,
'' We found a way to get my memories back,''
The furious look on Draco's highlights fell, his eyes softened as he forced his chair back, marching around my seat, '' Then what are you people waiting for—,'' He snarled, dragging my chair out, turning around only to realize that none of us stood up to join him,
We rested frozen, my eyes grounding as I swallowed the lump violating my throat, feeling more than guilty about what he doesn't know. He turned back, facing me, catching his hitched breaths, '' Don't you want to?'' He quieted, jaws clenching, '' Is that it? You don't want your memories back?''
'' You don't want to be with me anymore?''
The words leaving his lips caused my heart to break, my eyes clocking his as I stood tall in front of him, paralleling the provoked hues, '' Of course I want to remember, Draco.''
'' Of course, I want you...But—,''
'' But?''
I tilted my head, looking at his mother as she sent me a nod, permitting me to tell him the truth of what it takes to break the obliviate spell, of what I have to go through to do this,'' I want to remember you, Draco. Never think otherwise, but there is something else, to break the magic—,''
Shaky breath passed both of our lips, standing only inches apart, '' In order to break the magic—,''
''I need to be tortured,''
_____
My knees felt weak beneath me, my heart pounding with force within my chest as Blaise's wand rose to level me, '' Do I have to do this?'' He chocked out. The guilt flashing within was too much for him — I could see that, but I needed him to do this. The only way for the bound magic to be broken is if the one who cast the spell is the one to break you out of it,
'' You deserve to be the one to do this—,'' Draco spat at his best friend, cold hands stroking along my arms as he stood with his chest firmly hugged against my back, seeking to give me comfort before the torture rose,
'' You were the one letting her do this in the first place, and even if it's—,''
'' Draco, please,'' His mother begged, from across the room, shaking his head at her son's attitude, ''Leiah doesn't need this right now,'' I felt his fingers squeeze into my flesh, the cold rings leaving marks by the tension,
He turned me around, narrowing the blue eyes in mine, '' You don't need to do this if you don't want too—,'' His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest, '' I want you back, more than anything — but we'll find other ways,'' He tried to soothe but to no use,
My mind was more than set.
I needed to remember him.
I needed to remember everything I had pleaded for Blaise to take away, '' I want to. It's alright, Draco—,'' I whimpered, feeling the tears pooling, '' I have done this before,'' His heart pounded roughly, his bravery broke for what I had to go through.
I arched my neck, leveling the blue eyes, " I'm ready," My words left in stutters, preparing for the pain I knew was coming, but before I had any chance in turning back around, his head dipped, quivering lips kissed mine, gently, feeling the need his touch brought, not caring for the eyes watching us,
Draco let go of me before slowly backing away, his eyes still locked in mine as I shifted around, facing my best friend, his body shook violently, not wanting to be the one to do this, '' Blaise,'' I called out for him, trying to break the trance of remorse,
'' Blasie, it's alright. I want you to do this,'' I sent him a gentle nod, ensuring him that this was more than alright, the brown, terrified eyes bored through mine,
His hand shaking, his breaths hitching as he sucked in the deepest of breaths, a clear tear rolled down his cheek, '' I'm so sorry for this,'' He breathed out, teeth clasping together,
" I'm sorry—,"
'' I'm so so sorry—,''
'' Crucio,''
The green light of torture ripped my senses, the hurt and pain of the forbidden magic scored right through me, even if I tried to fight it — I dropped to my knees, my entire self trembling as I heard Blaise's voice, comforting me throughout the misery,
''Leiah—,'' He spoke, his vocals shredded in despair,
'' I need you to look at me, please look at me,''
I swallowed the feeling of knives ripping me apart from the inside as I peeled my eyes open, trying to focus on him, seeking to only issue his voice, keeping my eyes locked in his, '' I need you to remember. I need you to remember what I took from you, can you do that?''
But I couldn't. Nothing came to mind other than the pain scolding me within, suffocating my ability to breath, slowing my heart to the slowest rate — my need to scream ceased out of the need for oxygen,
My nerves burned, my lungs heaved emptily of air, the spell nearly drowned me as I caught the clinking sound of heels booting closer, a freezing hand gripped mine, '' Darling—,'' Draco spoke, softly,
'' Come back to me,''
I shut my eyes close, trying to remember the last time I heard him say such a word, '' Please, come back to me—,''
The fiery feeling in my mind twirled cold, hearing the voice of him from further away, nearly as a memory, feeling the touch of imagination in my mind, the images of Draco, kissing me, touching me, holding me, flashed through my head,
'' Remember the night in the library — remember when you asked if I loved you, in ways you only read about in books, in that—,''
'' Heartbreaking way—,'' I finished for him, hearing my own voice clearly within, my body crawled together as the torture dug deeper, my bones caving in complete agony, endless trails of whimpers left my lips. Draco called out of his mother, arguing with her as I kept focusing on the Draco plastered in my head,
'' She needs to go deeper, Draco — she needs a memory that hurt her, beyond repair,''
'' I can't do that, it will break her — we should stop this, she's hurting too much, mother,''
'' No, you can't stop now, she's close, Draco, she's so close — there isn't any other way. If you break her out of this now, we need to do this again, and I don't believe her body is capable of handling this one more time,''
The knives within ruptured everything, my mind almost killing me as I felt his hand holding tighter, '' Remember the night I left you. Do you remember how I asked you to close your eyes?'' I sought to imagine how it would feel for me if he would ever leave me, how it would feel to have my heart completely ripped out of my chest by the one person you believed to love you more than anything,
'' You're mine, mine, mine and—,''
'' Only mine—,'' I gasped,
Draco,
It was Draco,
It had always been Draco,
Every fight,
Every kiss,
Every dream,
Every nightmare,
Every word spoken,
It was him,
My blonde boy,
My Draco.
Every nerve turned over, and at that moment every memory, every kiss, every touch drowned me, the recollection of the boy I loved so raw and deep, the boy who left me in the tower the night I believed my life to be over — it was Draco, it has always been Draco,
'' Draco—,'' I cried out, the hurt of the spell was nothing compared to the feelings and emotion washing over me, he was mine, and I was his,
'' Draco, please—,'' I begged, hearing him shout at his best friend, the green light faded, the knives stopped shredding, and then it all turned blank,
_____
'' Draco—,'' I gasped, my spine flying off the mattress, my body felt burning hot, insides ached as I flayed my eyes wide, feeling as if I had just woken up from a bad dream — a terrible nightmare, drips of sweat fled my forehead, still breathing heavy.
I flinched at the feeling of his arms tugging me back, '' It's alright, darling,'' He hummed into my hair, sweet minty breaths fanned my shoulder, sensing my back hugged tightly against his bare chest,
'' I'm right here,''
I felt my veins ice, my entire body clenching as I floundered around to look at him,
To see for myself if this was possible,
If he indeed came back for me, just as he promised me to,
The blonde strands of hair tangled over his head, the blue eyes that had the possibility of tearing me in two looked straight at me, and the twisting feeling, caving my bones of the sight of him,
He's here,
He really is here,
The blonde boy, who shattered my heart, who left me behind, was holding right in front of me, looking at me wide-eyed, nearly startled at my reaction,
'' Draco—,'' I breathed out, my hand shakingly moving to stroke my fingertips against his cheek, before quickly pulling it back, scared of the truth of him, being here,
He came back for me,
He held the promise he gave me months ago. He came home.
'' I—,'' My eyes prickled in tears as all the emotion I kept hidden within for the last two weeks burst through my barrier — trails of sobs left my throat while I crawled back in the bed, '' You—,''
'' You left me—,'' I hold my breath, climbing off the mattress, '' You—,'' I heaved, bending forward to catch the missing breath.
My mind almost exploded as every memory, every word, every passing sought to find it's way back, and it ached, tore, shredded — my hands flew to my hair, grasping it in attempts to ease the pain soring through my head,
'' No. I came back for you—,'' Draco tried speaking, but the confidence within failed him as I dropped to my knees, my chest heavy, '' Shit—,'' He mumbled, striving to kneel beside me, to hold me as I completely broke in the torture of my own mind,
I pushed him back, my back roughly collided with the nightstand, but the boy in front of me didn't even budge. He held steady, sending me a glare ripping in guilt, '' Don't do that—,''
'' Don't you dare try and push me away. I got you back. I'm here now, and I'm never leaving you again, so don't you fucking dare try and distance yourself from me,''
My eyes prickled in tears, my heavy breaths shifted in sobs, '' But you left me, Draco. You woke up one day, and you chose to walk away—,''
'' I did that for you!''
Draco pushed himself off the ground, towering over me, '' When will you understand that? When will you get that through your head — everything I ever did, was to protect you—,''
'' You don't know what your father planned to do with you, you don't know what I had to go through those months to keep you safe, without even knowing if I would ever be able to see you again—,'' The blue eyes I always lost myself in pooled as he stepped back, shaking his head in dismay,
'' Yes. I left you. I fucking left you, but did you even think about what leaving you did to me? How I fucking cried myself to sleep every night? How I couldn't get you out of my damn mind?'' Draco's voice loud in shouting, arms thrown in the air,
'' I drowned, too, every fucking minute of every fucking day, I also died —,''
My heart shattered,
'' I wanted to die without you, but I couldn't do that because all I kept wishing for was to come back, to have you back, and when I finally did, you took me away, you fucking erased me and everything we went throughout of your mind—,''
Silence. He hushed down, shocked by his own words to even finish the tells he rose, he merely glared at me before looking away,
'' You left me too, Leiah.''
I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.
I wanted to die, right there and then.
He was right.
I did.
I left him in ways even worse than he did. I gave up on him. I stopped believing in him, something I promised him not to do.
I failed him more than he had ever failed me.
He was so much stronger than I will ever be. He left the love of his life to protect her and lived through it all to have me back, but something he didn't know. Something I died to tell him was that I was his and that I always will be,
I forced myself off the ground, tears flooding down my pale skin, stumbling right into his chest, arms clinging around his neck as I held him — in a way he always held me, '' I'm sorry, Draco,'' I whispered through my tears,
'' You will never lose me again. I'm right here—,'' I peered up at his fallen features, feeling his arms wrapping around my waist,
'' Right where I'm supposed to be,''
Draco's tensed body softened, nearly melted in my hold, gently brushing his nose against mine, and I knew, something that I always had known, far down,
I wanted to be with him,
Forever,
His fingers entwined, slowly, with mine, and suddenly, life made sense,
It all made sense.
The blue eyes flickered between my eyes and lips as I chewed my bottom lip. The cold fingers held mine tighter,
'' Marry me.''
_____