Dedicated to @katyynayylor for voting and adding this story to their reading list! Thank you!
Peter POV-Sunday, October 8, 2023-10:02 AM
I looked at my face in the bathroom mirror. I looked tired.
I felt tired.
There were bags under my eyes, and my eyes themselves looked broken-hearted. My eyelids looked like they were trying and failing the fight against gravity. My whole face looked occupied, sad, blank, tired, and worn.
My hair was messier than usual. My shoulders were hunched, and I remembered how I usually look down when I walk. I tore my eyes away from the mirror angrily and grabbed my toothbrush.
As I brushed my teeth, I tried to avoid looking at the mirror. When I was done, I spat out the toothpaste and rinsed out the brush.
I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen that also acted as our dining room. I opened the junk drawer and rummaged my hand through it until it hit the sticky notes. I pulled out a pen and wrote on the top one:
Hey, May, I'm going to the compound. I'll try to be back by 3.
-Peter
I took the sticky note off of the stack and stuck it onto the refrigerator. May would see it when she came home from her shift at the hospital.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a plastic water bottle, then turned to the pantry and grabbed a granola bar. I walked to my room and grabbed my backpack, stuffing the water bottle and the granola bar inside. I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand and put it in my pocket. My phone was an old one, an old version that I'd found and repaired.
I tapped my watch a few times rhythmically, and the Iron Spider suit materialized around me. The nanotech amazed me every time. I grabbed my backpack and put it on, tightening the straps all the way.
I opened my window and stepped out onto the fire escape. I quickly turned around, shutting the window, before jumping. I fell for a moment, suspended above the street, and it felt like time paused for a moment. Then it sped up, and I fell. I flicked my right wrist outwards and shot a web, continuing to fall until it pulled taut.
The force of it jerked me for a moment before I started to swing. When I got to the top of the swing, I let go of the web, and for a moment, it felt like I was flying. I shot another web from my left wrist as I started to fall, waiting for the web to pull taut.
My soul lightened a little. Swinging always made me feel light, as if the weight was lifted from my shoulders.
For a moment, I was free.
I turned a corner, then another until I found the freeway. I followed it, swinging on the lampposts until I got to the road leading upstate. I jumped to a car, bending my knees on impact and rolling to avoid denting the vehicle and making noise that would alert the driver.
I sat down onto the van and put a hand flat on the car, and made it stick to avoid falling off. I settled down, preparing for the few hours' drive ahead of me.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
I unstuck my palm from the roof of the Suburban I was on and checked to make sure that my backpack straps were tightened as I stood up. I'd had to switch cars every so often to stay on course.
I jumped off of the Suburban and used the lampposts to exit the freeway. I followed the road until I turned onto a nondescript private road that headed into the woods. I switched to using the trees to swing because there were no lampposts on this road. I swung until I saw the clearing.
I dropped down to the ground just inside the tree line. I tapped the spider emblem on my chest in the same pattern I had before, and the Iron Spider suit dissolved back into my watch.
I walked the rest of the way to the fence surrounding the compound, exiting the trees before following the road for a few steps. Most people would need an ID card and an eye scan to verify their identity to be allowed to enter, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. recognizes me, so when I walked up to the gate, it swung open.
"Hello, Peter." her chirpy Irish voice greeted me.
"Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," I responded. I walked through the gate and walked on the road, passing a few buildings that I hadn't bothered to learn the purpose of. I continued following the road until I got to the main building. One car passed by me on the road, but besides that, everything looked empty; like it usually does, until you enter a building, that is. I went up to the main entrance, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. let me in again.
I entered the building and walked past the science labs, barely glancing at them anymore. I used to look in them almost every time I passed them, interested in what the scientists and interns were doing. I don't anymore, though, having been fed up with the curious and confused stares they always sent me.
They never questioned me, though, considering the high safety measures in place, people assumed that if you were in here, you were allowed to be. I'm pretty sure that while they still don't know who I am, they are at least mostly used to the strange boy who passes through sometimes. I passed undisturbed through the next security checkpoint that led into the personal living space.
I opted to climb the stairs instead of riding the elevator and climbed to the second floor. As I climbed the stairs, I looked out of the glass wall at the grassy area in front of the main building. The landscaping combined with the futuristic-looking structures all hidden from the world by untamed forest really was beautiful, in a way.
I walked down the hall and passed by some of the spare bedrooms, and I glanced at my room as I passed. The first time I saw it, I was astonished and sad, knowing that Tony actually had a room for me, and that whoever redesigned the building after it was destroyed had made another one, which probably meant that Mr. Stark had put it into the blueprints of the building.
I passed the Avengers' rooms next. I'm not sure how many of them know that I'm Spiderman or that I even come to visit Tony in the first place. But I've never seen any of them on any of my visits, bar Ms. Romanoff. Natasha, I reminded myself, as she had told me the first time I met her. She was scary enough that I always tried to remember that.
As I passed by her room, I remembered the first time I had met her.
*Memory*
I stood in front of Tony's room, my hand hovering in the air, hesitating to reach for the handle. I'd been standing like that for at least two minutes straight at this point, which didn't seem like a lot of time, but when you weren't doing anything, it definitely does.
"Who are you?" a female voice asks in a suspicious tone. I whipped around, my feet and arms subconsciously going into a fighting stance.
I saw a woman with red hair, green eyes, and a blank face, broken only by the bits of tiredness and suspicion filtering through. She was dressed in casual clothes; grey sweatpants and a black tee-shirt. She was also in a slight fighting stance, hand hovering by her waist, where I guessed hid a weapon.
I saw her eyes go over me, her face hardly moving, as if she was assessing me. I quickly dropped my fighting stance after realizing that it only put her more on edge.
"Yo- you're the Black Widow." I stuttered out.
Her face showed no reaction at my words, but what she said next was traced by the barest hint of amusement, "You know, I used to be a spy. Kind of useless now that everyone can openly recognize me."
I said nothing, not knowing how to respond. She continued, her voice going suspicious again, "But who are you? You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"
I thought about it for a second, "It's possible."
"Your voice. I recognize your face too. Where have I-" she paused and looked closer at my face, "You're Spiderman, aren't you?"
For a moment, I was shocked at how little time it took for her to figure it out, but then I wasn't, remembering that she is an ex-SHEILD agent. Debating internally if I should tell her, I realized it didn't matter because she would be able to see through any lie I said, anyway.
"Y-yeah, I am," I said, trying and failing at not stuttering. Ms. Romanoff visibly relaxed, and she gestured to the door. "You're visiting Tony?"
I looked at the door, remembering why I was here, and a lump appeared in my throat. "Yeah." I managed to choke out, "Yeah, I am."
She looked at my face and asked in a slightly concerned and empathizing way, as if she knows exactly how I feel, "It's your first time visiting, isn't it?"
I nodded, unable to speak. "Well, gather your courage, and take as long as you need because he isn't going anywhere." she said, trying to lighten the mood and somehow sounding reassuring at the same time. Seeing my hesitation, she spoke again, putting her hand on my shoulder softly, "I was coming to visit him too, I can stay here with you for as long as you need, or I can leave if you prefer."
My eyes teared up slightly, and I found my throat once again clogged, but this time from something else. I looked at her in the eyes and whispered, "Thank you, Ms. Romanoff."
"It's Natasha," she said, "and you're welcome."
Very aware of the hand on my shoulder that could crush me, fight me, or kill me, I nodded. I turned back to the door, and Natasha gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze before pulling away to lean against the wall.
Her presence both made me more nervous and more relaxed at the same time. As I stood there, trying to gather up the courage to open the door, I drew strength from her being there, although it was a bit confusing why she was still here.
Natasha said nothing, which was unnerving, but I was also grateful for. Some people would have gone off on a tyrant, going like, "Come on, come on, you can do it! There isn't anything to be afraid of!" But that usually yielded the opposite result, which I think she knew.
I looked back at Natasha. Her face didn't change, but she gave me the barest of nods. I turned back to the door, staring at it for a moment. I breathed in deeply before exhaling through my nose. I put my hand on the handle and opened the door.
I stepped inside quickly, so I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Mr. Stark was lying on his bed. He looked terrible. He was unconscious, and he had bandages on his face, head, shoulder, arm, and hand, which I recognized as the damage from the snap. There was an IV stand next to him, which was connected to his arm. There were tubes trailing from a bigger machine as well, going into his nose.
But despite it all, his peaceful expression could be seen. That's what it took to finally convince me. The Tony I knew always had one expression or another, and I had never before seen a peaceful one.
I'd never seen him sleep before, but something in my mind doubted that he would've been a peaceful sleeper.
So seeing him there, with all of the tubes and machines and bandages, I realized that he was in a coma. And that's when I broke.
I took a staggering step towards Mr. Stark. Tears started to stream down my face silently as I slowly walked to his bedside. I stumbled into one of the two seats by his bed, and stared at his face as I silently cried.
Subconsciously, I realized that Natasha had sat next to me at some point, but I was too distracted to care or give it much thought.
After some time, my tears slowed to a stop, and I stopped hyperventilating. I wiped my face with my sleeve. After a minute or two, Natasha asked softly, "Do you want me to leave now?"
I gave her a noncommittal shrug, still not looking at her. "Talk to him." Natasha said a minute later, "As if he can hear you. We don't really know if he can hear us or not, but it's good to let it all out anyway."
I finally was able to tear my eyes away from Tony, and I looked at Natasha. Her lips curved upwards in the corners, the barest of smiles. And so, I looked back at Tony, and imagined that he could hear me; then I started to talk.
I told him how glad I was that he survived, and how devastated I was when I thought he was dead. I told him how I had stayed in the Compound the last two nights, but couldn't bring myself to come see him.
I told him how I met Mrs. Stark and Morgan yesterday and how Morgan still didn't yet know that her dad was in a coma.
I told him how terrible it was in the battle, but how much worse the cleanup was. In the battle, you ran on adrenaline, and had no time for grieving. But when we did the initial cleanup, it was devastating how many dead faces and allies were lying on the wasted, burned, and destroyed ground.
I told him everything, and until that moment, I had never realized just how much I'd always wanted to talk to him. To get to know the real Tony Stark. Not to be allies, but as people. I'd only really talked to him during stressful, high risk situations; and I wanted to talk to him about, well, non-superhero things.
"You were really brave, Tony." I whispered, my voice slightly hoarse from crying, "I don't know if I would've been able to do what you did."
And that, is when I realized that somehow, sometime within the last two or three days, it had turned from Mr. Stark to Tony.
And that just made me want him to wake up even more.
I started crying again, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I grabbed it with my right hand, and stood up while turning to face the person, pulling the hand backwards and sticking my web-shooters on my left hand into their face.
The second I saw that it was Natasha, I let go and stepped backwards immediately. "Sorry," I mumbled, sitting back down, staring into my lap.
"It's okay, kid." she said. I looked up at her.
"He used to call me that," I croaked out, crying again. I looked at Tony again, and felt Natasha hesitantly hug me. After a second, I hugged back, crying into her shoulder.
After a while, when I had stopped crying, I pulled away, wiping my face with my sleeve again. "Thank you," I told Natasha quietly, "I'll go now so you can talk to him."
She stood up with me and walked to the door. When we walked out of the room, I glanced at Tony one last time.
"Who's that?" I questioned Natasha, stopping to listen.
"What?" she asked me.
"The person crying."
"Who's crying?"
I pointed to the door on our left, and Natasha looked at it. "Pepper?"
"That's Mrs. Stark's room?" I asked.
"Yeah," she trailed off, looking at the door. "I should probably go talk to her. How did you know she was crying?" she asked, turning to me.
"I have enhanced hearing." I responded, "Is she okay?"
"I don't think anyone is okay right now," she replied honestly.
"Well," she started, before hesitating, finally pulling me into a hug. After a second, I hugged her back. "Thank you, " I whispered again, "for everything." I pulled back, giving her a half smile.
One corner of her mouth lifted up, and she said, "See you later, Spiderman."
"Peter."
"See you later, Peter." she said, turning and gently opening and entering Mrs. Stark's room behind her.
*End of memory*
I only saw Natasha a total of two times after that, but I felt a sort of connection with her. She obviously wasn't used to dealing with other people's feelings, or her own, but then again, neither was I.
She had been there when I had let everything out, when I didn't care about anything anymore, when I had talked to Tony for the first time since... well.
I didn't ever tell anyone everything, not May, because she would get worried, and not Ned, though he did know some things. But she, comforted me, kind of, about things that no one else knew. Just by being there.
I came back to the present, realizing that I had stopped walking. I chuckled and walked the rest of the way to Mr. Stark's room.
I walked in, looking at Tony on the bed. His bandages had been removed, but the IV and nose tubes were still there, which I had found out were for medication and food. His face and arm all the way down to his fingertips were healed, but scarred.
"Hey, Tony," I said, walking closer to the bed. I looked at the chairs, going to sit down, before stopping.
There was already someone sitting there.
"Who are you?" the boy asked. His dull green eyes looked wary and tired. He had light brown hair, and a normal-looking face. He looked about 16 or 17 years old.
"Who are you?" I responded.
"My name is Harley Kreener."
I studied his face for a moment, deciding that he was telling the truth. "Peter Parker."
I sat down on the seat next to him, as there were only two in here. "How do you know him?" I asked, tilting my head to Mr. Stark.
Harley looked at Mr. Stark and chuckled. "I only really knew him for a few days, but we kept somewhat in touch after that."
He chuckled. "He broke into my garage." he looked at me, "I was ten."
Harley looked back at Tony. "This is my first time visiting. Pepper let me in. I just met her today."
"What made you come today?" I asked him.
"Oh, we're moving, my mom and I. To San Francisco. I just thought I could visit, cause, you know, we were passing by. No, actually we weren't passing by. This is very much out of the way." Harley looked troubled, looking at Mr. Stark. "I guess... I guess I'm just nervous. I couldn't bring myself to visit before, but... now we're moving, and, I... I don't know. Tony's... the, the only father figure I've ever had, if you could call it that. My, my dad left when I was four."
My brow furrowed. How did I not know about Harley? Then again, I didn't really know Tony that well either. Then I thought about what he said. Startlingly, I realized that I felt almost t same way. Besides Ben, Tony is the only father-figure I had. I looked at Mr. Stark mournfully. Third one lost. After I had just found him.
I shook my head. He's not dead, Peter. Just then, I remembered what Tony had been calling me about on the ferry.
"Nice work in D.C." he'd said.
I'd been distracted, "Okay."
"My dad never really gave me a lot of support... and I'm just trying to break the cycle of shame."
Did Tony think of me in a son-figure kind of way?
I looked at Tony.
"Yeah," I responded to Harley, "I know how you feel. The difference was that I couldn't leave, instead of not being able to come. I lived in a room down the hall for awhile."
I looked at Harley. "My parents died when I was a baby. My uncle was killed two years ago." I looked at Tony, "Now it's just me and my Aunt."
"How do you know him, then?" he asked me.
I studied him, before deciding he looked and sounded trustworthy enough. "Can you keep a secret?" I asked him seriously.
He looked confused, but responded, "Yeah, why?"
"I'm serious. If you tell, both my Aunt's, friends', and my life will be in danger."
He looked troubled and concerned, but responded, "I swear."
That eased some of my tension and made me chuckle. "I made my friend say, 'I swear' when he found out. Anyway, I met him when he came to my house wanting help in Germany last year with the accords."
"What?" he asked, confused.
"Well, I guess it was six years ago. It felt like one to me though."
"So you blipped?" at my nod, he continued, "But why did he want your help with the accords?"
"I'm Spiderman."
His face didn't change for a second, but then he processed my words. "What?!" he exclaimed.
"But you can't tell anyone. It will put at least four people's lives at risk." I told him seriously.
Harley sat there for a good minute, blinking. "Am I the only one who knows?" he finally decided to ask.
"Well, Tony knows, and so does Pepper, Happy Hogan knows, my Aunt does, my best friend found out, my other friend might be close to figuring it out, various bad guys know, um, Natasha- the Black Widow-, um, I honestly don't know how many Avengers know, considering I fought in the last battle with them with my mask off for part of the time. But, yeah, basically you're the only one not directly related to me or the Avengers."
"Wait, so, you were there, when-" he trailed off, looking at Mr. Stark.
"Yeah." I swallowed. "I was the second to last person to talk to him before he lost consciousness."
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to think about it too much, or I might have a panic attack. I saw Tony stop breathing behind my eyelids, saw his arc reactor stop glowing.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, my breathing picking up. "Are you having a panic attack?" Harley asked me, concerned. "Well, um, I talked Tony out of one, once. Um, I don't know much about you, so... um, did you know that I ride the bus to school? Or, used to, anyway? It's a pretty normal bus. Yellow. The school's name on the side, and big wheels." he said rapidly.
The change in topic sent my mind reeling for a moment, but then I saw Tony sitting up against a broken piece of cement, face bleeding and barely breathing.
I buried my face in my hands. My breathing continued speeding up.
Harley started to talk again, "We live- er, used to live, in an apartment building. My mom, my little sister, and me. All girls. I don't have a brother. The apartment always reeked, the guy next door was always smoking. My mom worked a lot at the diner nearby, trying to pay the bills."
My breathing slowed a little bit while listening to him talk. I uncovered my face and stared at the carpeted floor, still breathing fast.
"My sister didn't blip. She's nineteen now. Apparently she was put in foster care and eventually adopted during the five years. But she's going to college now. I miss her. So does mom. One day, we woke up, and she was living with us, 'cause she was fourteen. Before the day was over, though, she was nineteen and at college, while Tony was in a coma."
My breathing hitched when he mentioned Tony.
"Crap! Sorry! I didn't mean to! Um, yeah, my sister's name is Abigail. My mom's name is Karen." Harley said quickly and apologetically.
"Yes?" Karen asked from my watch.
"Peter, are you okay? Your heart rate has seemed to have sped up." her slightly robotic voice asked, and you could almost hear concern in her voice.
"What? Who's there?" Harley questioned.
I took two slow breaths before opening my eyes again, as I had shut them. "I- I think I'm okay now, Karen."
"Okay, Peter." she responded before going quiet.
I took another breath before looking at Harley. "Thanks," I said, giving him a shaky smile.
"Karen's the AI that Mr. Stark built into my suit." I explained.
His eyebrows shot up. "Your Spiderman suit? Are you wearing it?" he asked curiously.
"Kind of," I replied, tapping the pattern onto my watch. The nanotech formed around me, and then I was sitting in my Spiderman suit.
"Woah." Harley said, "Is that nanotech? I've wanted to work with that before, but I've never been able to."
I tapped the pattern on the spider and the suit dissolved away. "Yeah. He gave it to me," I said, looking at Mr. Stark on the bed, "but I haven't been able to work with any."
I stood up abruptly. "Well, I'll go now, so you can talk to him." I said, gesturing to Tony with my hand.
"I already did." he said, standing up. "And I need to get going. My mom's probably waiting."
We walked to the door together, and Harley glanced back at Tony before leaving. As we walked down the hall, I asked him, "Why're you always fidgeting?"
His hands stopped playing with his sleeves instantly. "I have, uh, a minor case of ADHD. One of the reasons why I was bullied as a kid."
"Oh," I said.
We walked out the building, and I asked him, "Wait, you're moving to San Francisco, right?"
Harley nodded. "Ant-man lives there." I said.
His head shot up. "Really?"
"Yeah. I could talk, if you, um ever needed it." I responded.
"That'd be great!" he responded enthusiastically. His head turned the cars in the parking lot to our left. "That's my mom's car." He pointed to an old looking car that was jam-packed with stuff. A lady was sitting in the driver's seat, presumably Karen.
"See you later, Peter." Harley said, waving, before starting to walk to the car.
"Wait!" I called after him. I ran up to him, grabbing his hand. I took a pen out of my pocket that I had no idea how it had ended up there- and wrote my phone number on the back of his hand. "We should FaceTime sometime, and you can meet my friend Ned, if you want. We're obsessed with Star Wars."
Harley smiled at me. "Thanks, Peter. It'll be good to know someone in the new place. Even if you're on the other side of the country."
He looked back at his mom's car. "Well, see you later."
"Bye, Harley," I said, and turned to walk out of the compound.
As I swung through the trees on my way to the freeway, I thought to myself, Harley is like me. There is someone else who knows what I'm going through.
All in all, that was a lot less of a depressing visit than normal. And for the first time in what felt like years, I had a half of a smile on my face.
Dedicated to @katyynayylor for voting and adding this story to their reading list! Thank you!
4646 words.
Love you guys!
Stay safe MCU marathoners!
Ryan out. *Salute*