"Wait who's he calling?" Mark asks as Renjun stands up, heading to his room.
"Hyung you wanna see some vids from the party?" He hears Jisung ask as a distraction. Renjun pulling out his phone, making sure to close the door behind him.
He scrolls through his contacts, hesitantly pressing onto her name. He chews on his nail, thinking over what he wants to say, which he has no idea of what he actually wants to say. He just wants to talk to her. His thumb hovers over her number, taking in a deep breath, he presses it. He brings the phone up to his ear, getting more and more anxious at each beep.
"Renjun." Her voice says in relief. Renjun swallows at the sound of her voice calling his name. It's as soft as it's always been, though it's only been a few days, he really wishes he could constantly surround himself with it.
"Hey." He says back. His mind going blank. He still has no idea what to say.
"I'm sorry." She apologises. "I know I should have told you and I understand if you're mad at me."
"I was pretty pissed off." Renjun blurts, wanting to kick himself for it. "I don't know if I still am."
"It's okay if you are."
"I don't want you to be okay with it." He says desperately. "I don't want to be mad at you." He's tired of being the one who feels this way. He spent a lot of the week staring at his phone, waiting for a text from her. He didn't care if it was an apology or not, he just wanted her to be the one to guide his emotions.
"Renjun." She starts. "I waited for you to be ready to talk. Three days of just wondering what you thought about me. I— I didn't know if you were shocked that I dated Mark, if you hated me for not telling you, if you wanted me to message you or not. If it wasn't for Hyuck I would have no idea about why you were even mad. Sure I should have told you I dated Mark, but you should have told me how you felt about it." She rambles, Renjun keeping silent as he pays attention to her words. The guilt rushing back into his stomach. He definitely isn't mad anymore, now he just feels bad.
"I just didn't know what I would have ended up saying if I talked to you. I was both jealous of Mark and mad at everyone for not telling me." He admits, letting out a sigh. "But then I realised I shouldn't be allowed to be mad at you."
"No it's only valid that you were mad I just—"
"I think I did something worse." He lets out, remembering Haechan's words from the other night.
Either you tell her or she finds out a way she really wouldn't want to
Jaein stays silent, waiting for his explanation.
"W-well there was this one day when you came to the company, and I know it was you because I got told that you were Mark's...girlfriend." He starts, mumbling his words slightly. "Uh anyways, do you remember a kid with an ugly mid part?"
"The cute snaggletooth kid—that was you right?" She asks, unsure of where the story is going.
"Yeah that was me." He answers, glad that he isn't the only one who remembers the encounter. "Well that day you dropped something..., your usb." He says, he clasps his hand at the back of his neck, anxiously waiting for her to realise what he was referring to.
"Are you saying you had it this whole time?" She asks seriously, Renjun now well aware that he may have just turned the tables.
"Yes." He gulps. The feeling he felt when he found out she dated mark made a comeback, except this time it wasn't him who was feeling it.
"And you didn't think to give it back? If you knew I was Mark's girlfriend why didn't you just give it to him? Or even Haechan or Jeno?" She interrogates, the feeling of betrayal bubbling within her. He knew how important it must have been to the owner considering everything that was on it. Yet he didn't think about how she'd feel about loosing it. He doesn't say a word, scared of making things worse. "Don't tell me you went through it." Her voice cracks slightly, Renjun confirming it by staying silent. "Did you do it before or after you knew it was me?"
"Both." He confesses. Jaein stops, leaving a silence between them, turning it into a wall without a way over it for Renjun. He thought about her when he went through the usb, but he didn't think about how she would have felt about him doing it. He knows he messed up.
"I'll call you back tomorrow." She says before hanging up. Leaving Renjun staring at the phone screen, unsure of what to do.
The door cracks open, Haechan looking at him with pitiful eyes as he walks into the room. His immediate instinct is to hug Renjun, who hugs him back.
"Did you really just eavesdrop on that whole conversation?" Renjun let out a chuckle which sounded sadder than he intended.
"Yeah." Haechan says queitly, "She won't stay mad for long. You don't need to cry over it Renjun." Renjun wipes the sudden drop of liquid from his eyes, looking down at his hand. His eyes widening.
"I'm not the one crying." He says in realisation. "It's her." Renjun hasn't felt this soulmate connection in a while, ever since they had gotten close. It was something he realised, the closer they got the weaker their senses of each other were, it's as if the connection is at it's strongest when they've been apart.
"She's the type who cries when she's mad." Haechan comments as he pulls away from Renjun, who continues to stare down at his hand, the cold liquid trickling down to his birthmark, making it glow for a second before going back to normal. His hand now dried from the tears.
This soulmate shit is so strange.
"She seems to be more embarrassed than mad to be honest." He hugs his knees into his chest. "You were right, I feel really bad."
"I can't believe the universe put you two together." Haechan laughs, shaking his head. "You guys are too similar."
"If we were I wouldn't be finding it so hard to understand her."
"I'm sure she's going through the same thing, neither of you are open books." Haechan comments. "It'll probably take a lot of soju to get her to open up that quickly."
"It's funny cause she doesn't drink." Renjun points out.
"Wait really?"
"Yeah you didn't know?" Renjun looks at him, surprised that there is finally a fact about Jaein that Haechan doesn't know. Haechan nods as they both let out a light chuckle.
"Ah Mark went back to the dorm, so you don't have to worry about him anymore." Haechan informs as he stands up, straightening his shirt.
"Thanks Hyuck." Renjun smiles, earning a scoff from Haechan.
"Pfft whatever, I'm just doing my job." He replies. "You're hopeless without me."
————
Jaein can't help but let the tears fall as she dragged her feet against the hard ground. She had walked away from a dinner to celebrate their comeback, lying about having and urgent family issue. Luckily no one had questioned her, though Cheri and Suyoung didn't look convinced. She isn't sure where she's going, following the street along the river as she looks up at the stars in the sky. She hated what Renjun had told her, everything about that phone call hurt in some way. The only good thing was that she finally spoke to him, even if she didn't like the contents. He had listened to her songs. He knows about her past. Essentially her deepest feelings she had been feeling at the time. The fact that he has makes her want to dive head first into the river. The idea of listening to what was on it wasn't embarrassing until she thought about his reaction when listening to it. She isn't sure how she can face him now.
She stops in front of a bright boba shop, wanting a place to drink her problems away, she steps in, the sound of a bell chiming as she enters. The scent of sweet tea filling her lungs as she walks up to the counter, wiping her tears in front of the waitress, who simply gives her a welcoming smile.
"Just take a seat anywhere, I'll make you a drink I think you need." She says sweetly, as Jaein nods, not exactly in the mood to argue. She's aware of how messy she looks, but she couldn't care less. She wouldn't mind breaking down here, it's a comfortable place, and the best part is that it's empty, the waitress didn't seem like someone to worry about. She slumps into a seat in the corner, letting her eyes close.
"This is so frustrating." She cries, hitting her head against the table. "Why couldn't he just give it back?" She whispers to herself.
Was it revenge for not telling him about Mark?
A soft thump vibrated through the table, making Jaein lift her head up, looking at the drink that is placed in front of her.
"Thanks." she mumbles to the waitress, bringing the warm drink towards her. She pokes the top of the sealed drink, looking up to the waitress who is still standing in front of her, wondering why she hasn't left.
"Do you want to talk? It's always better to drink with company." The girl smiles warmly as she sits in the seat across from Jaein, who lifts a brow at the sudden action. The girl looks around the same age as her, maybe a bit older. The smile she has been wearing this whole time is certainly comforting, enough for anyone to easily seal comfort in her.
"Why would I do that?" Jaein asks, as nice as the girl seems she didn't really feel like spilling her emotions to someone she doesn't even know.
"Because it's always better to talk to someone when you're sad, especially if you don't know that person since they don't know you either, they are in no place to judge. It's not like you'll remember me in a few days anyways. So your secrets will all be safe since we have no connection to each other." The waitress explains, as Jaein stares at her blankly, surprised at how casual she is. She is in no place to deny the offer, one that she really needs.
"Uhh okay." Jaein shrugs, seeing as the girl had a point. She clears her throat before starting to explain everything.
--
"So your soulmate is in the same kpop group as your ex?" The girl asks, amazed by the story as Jaein nods. "And Renjun got mad that you didn't tell him, but he also looked through one of your private belongings so now you're mad at him." She lifts her eyebrows as Jaein clarifies with another nod.
"Yeah it's weird." Jaein comments. "I just feel so embarrassed." She sighs, looking down at her drink as she swirls it around. "About him finding out about Mark and the pen drive."
"You shouldn't be. He's your soulmate, he won't judge you and he'll love you no matter what you've done. He literally isn't allowed to." She points out. "As much as I think what he did is bad, you should trust him enough not to judge you."
"I don't think we've developed our relationship enough at all." Jaein shakes her head.
"You've dated for like a month right?" The girl reminds her. Jaein forgets that all the time, she feels like they've been dating for years. "It's normal to feel frustrated in relationships."
"This is the worst time for this to happen. It's comeback season and I'm busy as hell. I really can't afford to be emotional." Jaein complains as she holds her head in her hands.
"These sort of things need to happen in order for you guys to see the flaws in your relationship, and from what I can see you guys need to work on talking to each other. As well as honesty."
"...yeah." Jaein agrees. "I'll probably end up writing a song about this." She laughs at herself.
"If that's how you express your emotions you probably should." She says quite seriously. Jaein is amazed at how she is able to come across this stranger who is very good at listening, as well as advising. Talking about it made her feel so much better, like the thoughts that were attacking her had stopped.
"You have a weird vibe." Jaein comments, earning a chuckle from the waitress. "I didn't get your name."
"Haneul." She replies. "But you don't need to remember it."
"I will." Jaein says surely. "It kinda helped, to share this all with someone."
"I'm glad I could help." She smiles. Jaein is aware that she now owes her, and the fact that Haneul is sure that they won't meet again won't stop Jaein for looking for her in the future. "You better get going, it's dark and a kpop idol like you shouldn't be roaming around alone." Jaein nods at her suggestion, standing up as she gives the girl a bow.
"Thank you so much, I'll make sure to repay you someday." Jaein says as Haneul nods back, giving her a soft smile.
i apologise for both the bad chapter and not updating in a while. from now on i'll be trying my best to update every seconds day for the next two weeks as that's when school will start back for me.
anyways haneul made a guest appearance !!
have a good day everyone !! and stay safe 💕💕🥰