I'm in the car now laying my head against the window and watch the cars and the building lights. I think about what happened today and what could've happened and i start to get tired of this fear and thoughts of losing Michael. I'm scared of 25th June, i'm scared as hell words cannot describe this huge fear. I don't even know if i will still be here until then, i don't know why i'm here now. Is it a gift from god? Because of how much i wanted to meet him? Is it mercy for all these long nights of me crying? Is it me who has to prevent three children from losing a dad? A crying mom and siblings? Devastated fans who will never get to hug or see their idol perform? All these remain unanswered questions because no one has or maybe ever have the answer to them, maybe screamy has but he could also be like me, trapped here. I guess i just have to stick around and figure everything out by myself. I get out of the car and walk towards the gate numb when Michael's voice stops me.
,,Cindy. Are you alright?" He asks
I turn around and see Wanda standing in front of the car with her hands in her pocket looking down. ,,I get it if you guys are angry and want to get rid of me right now but i just want to say i'm sorry i put you through this. I just wanted to help" she says
,,You don't need to apologize, it's okay. What matters now is that we are alive and safe" he says
,,I'm not mad." I frown while nodding ,,I'm just scared. The look on Carl's face, it was so evil. If the police weren't there, if you, Wanda. If you weren't there, Not only Michael but a lot of people would've died. I'm not mad, thank you" i smile
,,And i, thank you. If you ever need anything no matter what, you're welcome to stay here or call me. I'll let one of my bodyguards give you my number"
,,Thank you. Take care" she smiles
Michael turns around to enter Neverland and before she turns around too she says ,,Hey Michael" he turns to her ,,Don't listen to what they say about you, whether it's in real life or the media. They talk shit about me too, just know it's their story not yours."
Michael gives her a smile and then we both enter Neverland. Well, today we made a traitor our life saving friend. I enter Neverland and go upstairs to get dressed and i throw myself in Michael's bed, i still can't believe he is letting me sleep in his bed while he sleeps un another bedroom. I remember people used to judge him for sharing his bed with children but in reality Michael shares and gives his bed to everyone, it's like it's just a piece of furniture and i agree with that. I look at the clock on the wall and it's already midnight, 12:34 a.m . A knock on the door wakes me up from my thoughts, it's Michael
,,Can i come inside?" He asks
I nod and he sits on side of the bed looking at my hand. I smile confused and then look at my hand, i see the exact red bracelet i had in my world on.
,,I like it, who gave it to you?" He strokes my bracelet
,,I-" i take my hand and look better at the bracelet, why am i just noticing it now? After all this time? I mean the bracelet should mean something since screamy gave it to me in 2020 and all of my other bracelets are gone.
,,You know i keep singing this song in my head for a while and every time i sing it i think of you" his smile is a soft sound that makes his shoulder shake
,,What song?" I laugh
It better not be who is it boy, i made a mistake singing that.
,,Pretty baby, kisses for your loving i, really get it when you're, next to me, yeah yeah" he sings
The song sounds familiar but i don't know what it is. I smile confused and start laughing
,,What? You don't like it?" He asks
,,No,no sounds great. Who is the singer?" I ask
,,Me. I wrote this song , i wanted to put it on the bad album but instead another one replaced it"
Shit, i should've listened to the bad 25th album. I really don't know this song. My eyes immediately turn to the window and i see white flakes falling from the sky repeatedly, it's snowing!
,,Oh my god, it's snwoing!" I get up and look out of the window ,,On christmas" i whisper
,,In los angeles?" Michael says confused
I literally don't remember having a christmas with snow, it just never snowed on Christmas, it would snow on new year's eve and after but never before.
,,Well what are you waiting for? Go ahead" he smiles and we both run downstairs and leave the house, we can hear the classical music playing from inside.
Clair de lune, L. 32 playing
This Feels magical! I look up and then at Michael who is standing in front of me ,,I would love a snow fight right now" he says. I laugh and Michael wraps his black and red jacket around me, he hands me his hand ,,What?" I say ,,Dance with me" he smiles. No, Michel why are you doing this to me? Dancing in the snow while this beautiful melody plays in the background isn't a good idea, feelings exist! ,,I don't know how to dance" i smile and nod. I can tell that for Michael dance is freedom, to dance is to become an opening flower or a bird aloft. Whether it's slow dance or any other, Michael loves dancing. Michael takes my hand and twirled me into his arms. We fall in step, letting the rhythm control our movements, i look at Michael but his face is down avoiding any eye contact again. I want to look him in the eyes so bad, i want to see what he really is thinking because through the eyes, the eyes say everything. His right hand is on my hip and i'm holding his left, we slowly move right left,right left... he draws me closer to his chest and i set my head on his shoulder, i smell his sweet vanilla scent, the cold air makes the smell even stronger. I close my eyes and his lips go to my ear as he whispers over so softly ,,Just feel the moment,the music" he places his head on mine. god please don't ever take this moment away, i want to relive this over and over again for the rest of my life.
,,Mr. jackson" i hear a man voice
Michael raises his head up and we stop dancing. Damn it. ,,Is there something wrong?" Michael asks ,,Teddy Riley is on the phone" he answers ,,Oh okay" Michael puts his thumb on his lips and starts smiling while looking down. Yeah Michael, that was a moment, our moment. ,,Let's go inside or else you'll get a cold." He wraps his arm around me and starts singing while we enter the house ,,An invitation to some faraway hot island, If i can show you baby, home with me" i laugh and lay my head on his shoulder. I go upstairs to Michael's bedroom, take off the jacket he gave me and lay in bed. I would love to sleep but i keep having this weird feeling in my stomach, it's like something little and thin dances inside of it but not just one, more. Could this be me getting butterflies? But that would mean i fell in love with Michael and that is not possible, it can't be.
,,Will you be able to sleep tonight?" Michael leans against the door
,,Hopefully, yeah"
,,Where does your mom live?" He sits on the bed
I freeze. I completely forgot about finding mom, damn where did she used to live in the 80s?
,,She moved out, i would have to find her" i answer
,,oaky we will find out tomorrow. Get some sleep,i will be here if i hear you having another nightmare"
,,Okay" i smile
He stands up ,,Michael?" I say ,,Can you promise me you will never leave or cut me out of your life? Please?" He starts smiling ,,You don't have to worry about that. It will never happen" he leaves the room. Of course it will happen, when murray enters his life it's over and i know it is unless i'm here and i stop him. My eyes slowly shut down and i feel my whole body relaxed. I instantly open my eyes when i hear a familiar man voice. I'm not in bed anymore but in what it looks like a white room with nothing. Did i die? I stand up and notice a big glas it's size of a door on the wall, there is a very familiar room inside like I've seen it somewhere... i hear the familiar voice again
,,Yeah,yeah maybe. I mean i hope so" he starts laughing
I slowly walk towards the glas and touch it with my finger, the vision from the room is now clearer and i notice someone... i see Michael! Laying in bed with an infusion bag hanging next to his bed and there is Murray entering in the room.
,,Michael?" I say
,,Please,please give me some Milk so i can sleep, because i know that this is all that really works for me" Michael begs Murray
,,As you wish,Michael" Murray takes an injection from the table. I punch the glas with my fists. This can't be... it's not even the 2000s! I didn't meet murray yet! ,,Okay,wake up. Wake up, Allison" i close my eyes and take a deep breath hoping this is just another nightmare, when i open them i see murray preparing the injection and Michael with a intravenous catheter in his leg.
,,Mike! Michael! Please stop!" I punch the glas ,,I'm begging you murray! Don't do this!" I shout, tears rolling down my cheeks. I feel as my whole world has just fallen apart and my heart got stabbed. He injects the substance and Michael slowly shuts his eyes, his head slowly falls on the right side of the pillow. ,,No..." i whisper in a shaky voice lean down the glas watching Michael's soon lifeless body.
,,You can't change fate" i hear a man behind me
I turn around and this unknown man stands with his hands in his pocket completely ignoring what has just happened and i know he is aware of it.
,,Let me out of here" i stand up looking angry at him ,,Right now!" I shout
,,To do what? Huh? What's done,what's already written cannot be undone. You can't save him" he smiles
,,I can! And i will save him!" I shout letting all my grief and anger tears out.
Everything goes black and i hear the man laughing but i don't see anything anymore. ,,I- I will- I will save him!" I shout and look around me to see i'm in bed again. Michael enters the room scared and sleepy at the same time and comes towards me. ,,Cindy" he grabs my hand and sits down, i look at him and start crying and covering my face. I'm glad it was just a dream but i'm terrified of it becoming reality even though where i am right now doesn't feel reality. Michael pulls me closer to his chest and puts his hand on my head while i sob into his chest. ,,Promise me you will always listen to me, always no matter what" i say clenching his shirt and then look at him. ,,Please, just please don't ever leave" i say and hug him again so he can't see me cry. I hear him giggling,,What is wrong with you these days? You are so emotional as if someone has died. It was just a dream silly, it's okay. I am here with you" he touches my head again and slowly sways from side to side. He doesn't let go for what it feels like an hour and when he does he says ,,I'm making a new album and i want to you be accompany me" he smiles ,,Really? That would be amazing" i say shocked,,Yeah, maybe we can record our song together and have a memory for us" our song? Since when do we have a song? ,,You see! I never met a girl, just like you, come so easy, don't you break my heart cause I love you" he sings ,,Again?" I laugh ,,It's called streetwalker, i know you probably feel offended by the name but everything expect for the song title makes me think of you" he giggles ,,Offended? Why would i be offended?" He looks down and starts laughing ,,Street...walker? It means prostitute" he touches his lower lip with his finger and looks away ,,What?" I say shocked and smiling ,,I'm not calling you a prostitute!" He explains. I take the pillow next to me and hit his face with the pillow making him lay on the bed. When i turn around to grab another pillow he hits my head from behind. ,,Hey!" I say and he starts laughing. ,,Well finish what you started girl" he says. God i want to kiss him. Wait! What? Allison? What are you thinking? Stop. Michael hits me again and wakes me up from my thoughts, i hit back and this is how our pillow fight at 4 a.m started. At the end we both lay on the bed facing the ceiling and try to catch up our breaths. ,,Why aren't you asleep?" I ask ,,I heard you screaming and well, here i am" God why am i doing this? He probably already has problems sleeping and me keeping him awake is a very bad idea. ,,I want to sleep, now" i stand up. He looks at me, stands up smiling ,,Okay. I'll see you in a few hours then" he leaves the room and i wrap myself in my blanket.