If Circe is surprised or upset to see a squad of Troopers waiting for her in the loading bay, she doesn't show it. She wasn't aware that there would be military personnel on a Jedi trip, but she passes them wordlessly. They're a squad of Clones she's never seen before.
A group of Younglings trails after her and Anakin, chatting excitedly among themselves about their first off-planet field trip together. Obi-Wan stands on the ramp leading into the ship, double, triple, maybe even quadruple checking that everyone is accounted for as the noisy crowd of kids climb onboard.
"Okay, everyone!" Circe says proudly, standing with her hands on her hips in front of the group. "Can I see your packs?"
The children all raise their respective bags in the air, tiny fists clutching their Order-issued hemp bags that they'll use on trips for the rest of their training.
"Water bottles?"
A crowd of bottles raise before her.
"Very good job. Getting to Ahch-To is going to be a long trip, which is why we're taking a cruiser," She explains. "And when walking around, we travel in..."
"Pairs!" The group replies.
"That's right," She smiles, "If you need anything, Master Kenobi, Master Skywalker, and I will be around."
"We're about to leave so let's take our seats, shall we?" Obi-Wan says, ushering them into the buckled seating that line either side of the cabin.
"Master Skywalker," A boy complains, looking up at Anakin from his spot along the wall, "Why aren't you sitting down? There's a seat right there."
Anakin, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed across his chest, answers, "I've been on a lot of different ships before. I'm used to takeoff."
"But my brother Silas says we must sit down when a ship it is taking off or we could be hurt."
"Your brother sounds very smart, but when you're older it's easier to steady yourself during liftoff. One day, when you're bigger, you'll be able to stand too."
"Will we really get to ride in more ships?" He says incredulously, looking around him with wide, young eyes. Circe swells at his innocence. His long, dark lashes give him a rather doe-like appearance, and a part of her wonders if he'll be able to remain innocent. If this war won't crush the youth out of him the way she's seen it crushed out of so many.
Anakin takes his seat beside the boy and distracts him with every off-planet mission he can think of. The ship rumbles to life below them, and lifts into the air, shooting up past the city skyline and out towards the stars.
Circe can't wait to get to Ahch-To. She's only been a handful of times, once when she herself was a Youngling. She remembers the salt in the air, sprayed against her face from the raging oceans that surrounded the Temple.
Every Youngling travels there to meditate in the halls of the first Jedi Temple. It's a tradition she thinks of fondly, as her and Anakin were just beginning to grow close. He was so young, as was she, and he was as untamed as ever. Running around the island with his windswept hair plastered against his face, leading Circe away from the group to explore and practice using the Force.
Across from her, Anakin is not the same boy he used to be. He's tall, and broad, and Circe has watched him grow into his skin better than anyone else she knows. He holds himself confidently, so different from the wild boy she chased across the island. His face is taller, his brows darker, and the collarbones that peak out from beneath his tunic are sharp and toned, as is the rest of his body.
He's grown into himself handsomely, she thinks.
As soon as the ship is in the air, everyone is free to roam around and the Younglings wander off in their small groups, eager to explore.
"Master Da'hna, can we go to the upper level? There are big windows aren't there?" A pair asks, pointing up to the deck that overlooks the main hall.
"Sure, I'll go with you. Do you want to see if anyone else wants to come? We can all go together."
As the girls run off the grab their friends, the group of Clones from earlier approaches her.
"We'll escort you Miss Da'hna," One of them speaks.
"Oh, no need," She waves, "I can take them on my own."
The soldiers stand silently in place, their Republic emblems stark against their white uniforms.
"Is there's a problem?" She asks.
"No, sir," The leader answers, still unmoving. "My name is Nej, this is Khoan, Angel, and Kiger. We've been assigned as your security personnel for the foreseeable future."
A storm passes over her face.
"Security?" She asks sharply, "I'm offended that someone thinks I need such thing."
Has a Jedi ever had a personal security team before? Has one ever needed such a thing?
She's perfectly capable of protecting herself; it's her job. Keeping others out of danger and fighting in a war, that's what she does. It's what she's trained for. How could anyone suggest that she needed protecting? What little faith must they have in her?
Beside her, Anakin sits in his seat, his hand covering his face in a frugal attempt to stay unnoticeable. Even without using the Force, Circe can feel him strain to keep out of her way.
She rounds on him.
"You know something about this, don't you!?"
He jumps, dropping his hands and staring up at her. "Sort of! I only had a small part in it. It was mostly the Chancellor if I'm being honest, so there's really no need to thank me when it was him that—"
Her anger doubles. "The Chancellor!?"
"Chancellor Palpatine has sent protection for you. I'd be honored if I were you—"
"I don't need protection. Why would he do that? Did you ask him?"
"Yes." He says, trying his best to sound brave, "I did."
Her face contorts even further into confusion. "Why would you bother the Chancellor for something so stupid!!"
Anakin stares at her, brows twisted in confusion towards her reaction. How could she find fault in this? He did it to protect her! To keep her from harm! He did it because he cares for her, because he knows there is no life for himself without her.
"It's not stupid!" He argues, "Circe, this is for your own good. How can you be angry about this? It's not as though it will hinder your duties! If anything, it will help them." He argues.
"You think me incapable." She hisses, her dark eyes ablaze.
"Of course not! Have I not trusted you by my side for the past ten years? Of course, I do not think that!"
"Then why would you do such a thing? Does the Council know!? That you are wasting resources on a fully trained Jedi of the Galactic Order? I cannot possibly imagine that any of them gave you permission to request these soldiers."
Anakin glares at her. "They're here, aren't they?"
There is not cold enough in all the universe to describe the look she gives him.
"Commander Nej," She barks, causing the soldiers before her to flinch slightly. "I don't need your protection. You and your squad are dismissed as soon as we get back to Coruscant."
"I apologize, Sir, but... only the Chancellor can dismiss us from this job," He answers quietly.
She looks around them, a fire in her eyes unlike anything Anakin has seen in a long time, at least not in his waking memory. The anger in her frightens him, almost as much as his dream did.
"Circe," He commands, his voice coming out a lot stronger than he expected, "You can't do anything about it. These soldiers will be by your side to keep you safe. It's final."
She looks at him like he's crazy.
"Are you— are you serious right now?"
Before he can answer, the girls from earlier and some of their friends are back, looking between them expectantly.
Circe drops her shoulders immediately, her face softening like candlewax. He can see her working to calm down for the sake of the children, so as not to worry them. She has always been able to wall her emotions in that way. To swallow her bitterness for the sake of the others around her.
She smiles. "Ready? Okay, you lead the way and I'll follow."
As the girls take off, she turns back around and leans towards Anakin, her eyes piercing him like the edge of a blade. His scar aches.
"Don't ever talk to me like that again. Ever," She says, giving the Troopers a sour look before following the group of kids towards the doors.
"That went well," An accented voice sounds from behind.
Anakin's shoulders drop and he rolls his eyes before turning around to face Obi-Wan, who gives him a stern I-told-you-this-was-a-bad-idea look.
"She just needs to adjust," He answers.
"She doesn't want to adjust, Anakin. She's furious, and embarrassed, and offended. We all know she doesn't need those Troopers to look after her."
"That's just too bad then, isn't it? The Chancellor set it up, he's the only one that can send them away."
"Anakin," Obi-Wan says, "Why are you doing this? She's upset. This is the angriest I've ever seen her with you. You're making a mistake—"
He spins around to face his former Master. "Letting her die by coddling her feelings is the true mistake, Master. You will sooner catch me resigning from the Order than letting that happen," He seethes. "If you don't care about her, just say it. Don't waste your time trying to convince me that keeping her safe isn't a priority over her discomfort."
Obi-Wan is taken aback.
"I don't recognize you these days," He says calmly, "You're becoming someone I can't understand."
Anakin shakes his head, furious. Who cares if Circe is angry with him? He'd rather her be angry and alive than cold, lifeless, and empty in his arms. But Obi-Wan's tone hurt him, deeper than he will ever admit. No one knows what he's trying to do. No one knows what he saw, or what he felt.
And Obi-Wan can't figure out how to tell his old student that he does know. That the love in Anakin is noticeable, and wrong, but understandable. He knows what it is to have to ignore love. If Anakin were older, maybe he'd be able to recognize the feelings. But he doesn't. And that is why he feels so misunderstood. Because everyone knows what his heart is feeling, but him.
But Obi-Wan can't tell him that and Anakin goes on feeling like no one understands him.
Across the ship, Circe aches and rages at the same time.
She cannot fathom why Anakin would go to the lengths he did to get her a personalized set of protective soldiers, as if she's not constantly surrounded by the protection of other Jedi. Of him! But more than that, the intensity in him, how he believed everything he was saying, confuses her more.
Once the children have scattered to the numerous windows looking out into the vast darkness of space, she sighs and leans against the railing in time to see Anakin storm off, away from Obi-Wan.
She feels even worse.
She should never have yelled at him like that, especially not while the children were around, and especially not in front of his Master. She's embarrassed him, and Anakin's pride is easily bruised. She knows better than to lose her temper like that.
Nej, Khoan, Angel, and Kiger hover beside her, standing silently under her cloud of despair. She sighs.
"I apologize for rounding on you," She says calmly, "It is not your fault that you were given your orders."
"It's not a problem, Sir," Nej answers, looking out over the hull of the ship. He is dark and stoic, his face like cut stone. She wonders what he's seen in all the time he's been in service. If watching over a Jedi is just as much an insult to him as it is to her.
"The Lord Chancellor told us that you might find the arrangement ill-suiting," One of the others—Angel—says to her.
"He did?" This surprises her. "He knew that and still assigned you?"
Angel nods.
"To gain Anakin's approval?" She ventures. There can be no other reason for his favor if not that.
The Clone's eyes are bright and soft as honey. "I don't know."
"The Lord Chancellor always has his reasons," Kiger says, "But I doubt he'd fill us in on any of them."
"Right," She says, her eyes dipping back to find Anakin sitting with his back to the pane of glass that looks out beyond the ship.
"Kiger is new, Sir" Angel says, throwing his arm around the younger Clone. "He has yet to learn that reason hardly matters when your job is to do what you're told."
"Come now," Nej says, "There is more to your life than that. We have morals, Angel, and it is not as though we can't think for ourselves."
Circe nods. "I have seen many brave soldiers defy orders and come home victorious. Sometimes it's not about doing what you're told, if what you're told is not right."
They ignore the annoyance in that last sentence.
"There's 10 hours to arrival, Sir. If you want to children to rest, better begin rounding them up now." Nej says.
She nods, pushing away from the railing. Anakin has left the main deck, most likely to find somewhere solitary and quiet to brood. She sighs, feeling the burn of resentment in her stomach, and a more familiar rush of missing him in her chest. It is an ache, this feeling. And she cannot remember when it started.