Author's Note: First, I just want to say that this chapter is really just not my best aha. I was sick during the time I wrote it, so I just wrote whatever came to mind. Secondly, I was going to do 30 chapters, but, after writing this one, I kind of felt like I was dragging it on a bit. So, with that being said, there's only one more chapter and an epilogue left. Also, I would like to thank you all for helping it reach 2000 (+) reads, at this point. I've always felt this story was an underdog, but thank you to those who are interested. Enjoy :)
Louis' Point Of View.
Usually, plane rides are joyous for me - being able to be around the ones I love, but this one was so dull and lifeless. It had seemed as though it was going on longer than it was intended to. I'm being punished; I'm sure it. It's not like I don't deserve it, however. I hadn't forgiven myself for what had taken place at my birthday celebration party. It's been five days since and things have yet to go back to being somewhat normal, at least. Right after Harry stormed out, Liam and Niall called Zayn and gave him some insight that Harry had returned back to the hotel. Upon reaching our suite, he declared he wanted to room with Zayn - not once speaking to me or looking my way - and so, I was left alone in the spare room that Liam had originally booked for him and Niall. The word heartbreak may not mean much until you truly going through it and that's all my heart has been clouded with since that night. I thought I would be able to make amends with him the next day, or at least attempt to, but the next morning we were all shoved to our separate destinations to go home for the holidays - Niall and Liam's family spending it together in Wolverhampton, Zayn went back to Bradford, Harry went to Holmes Chapel, and my family and I decided to go to America - Florida to be exact - and spend our Christmas there. I didn't get to apologize, nor see him that morning. No goodbye, and not s single call or text since.
Today, we're all returning to our flat in London. I'm not sure when the others will be landing, but a part of me is anxious. I'll be able to see Harry, even if that means he's still going to avoid me. Yes, it will bother me and send me into a spiral of whatever pain I've placed on myself; however, he'll still be in my presence, no less. Thinking simplistic here, I can easily blame it on the alcohol and that I wasn't in the right frame of mind; on the other hand, I'm old enough to know when to be responsible. I should've just allowed him to take me back to our suite, so I could've cooled off and saw things from a different perspective. I'm stubborn and went with the idiotic route - slapping him. He won't answer any of my calls, won't reply to my texts, and he never seems to be around whenever I call Anne. Then again, I'm sure she was just being the protective mother she is and was reluctant to let me speak to him. One time, I was sure I heard his voice in the background and it pained me. I cried myself to sleep that night, as well as every other night. Maybe that will change today.
"We're all set to land in about a minute. Please, make sure you gather all your belongings and file out in an orderly fashion. No pushing, or shoving, and be respectful to your neighborly passengers. I hope you enjoyed our United Airlines and don't forget to tell a friend. Hope to see you all flying with us again soon."
I rolled my eyes after the intercom turned off. It's not even that the flight attendant was annoying; but everything seemed to appear that, these days. I made sure my seat belt was latched on and strapped around me firmly. I could feel the plane descending, as our arrival at the airport became visible. I let out a small sigh, thankful that the flight was over - and, as always, blessed to have landed safely. After retrieving my dufflebags in the over-head compartment, I began to exit the plane and make my way through the terminal. Unwillingly, I was becoming emotional, thoughts swarmed with the idea that maybe...just maybe Harry would be awaiting my arrival and we would go home together; however, I knew that wouldn't be the case. I'm fool, if that wasn't already apparent. With every acidic drink making its; way through my organs, I became more idiotic to the fact that Harry had been through so much in the past month and, yet, it never crossed my mind. I wasn't being cautious or thoughtful and something bad could have happened to him when he stormed out. You never know if his lucid dreams may start triggering again and I don't know why I hadn't thought about that.
Upon reaching the exit of the terminal, someone from our security team, and a dear friend of Paul's, named Max, was waiting for him. 'How are you, Mr. Tomlinson?" I let out a small sigh, then fixed my glasses properly against my face. I gave him a small smile.
"I've had better days, Max. Am I the first that you've picked up?"
"Niall and Liam returned about an hour ago and Zayn won't be back until tonight. He wanted to spend more time with his family."
"And Harry?" I asked, almost with a hint of desperation in my voice.
"Well, I wasn't suppose to say, but he returned last night. He didn't say much, but I did drop him off at the flat. I suppose he just wanted some alone time before everyone returned."
"Oh." That was the only thing I could manage to say. I wanted to believe that he was just anxious to return and cut the break short; but, in the back of my mind, a voice kept taunting me, telling me that he was just avoiding the inevitable. If I calculated everything right, Max would have been picking him up first, since it only takes a drive, then Harry would have been in the van with him when it came time to pick me up from the airport. I nodded, face hanging low in depression. I've really let myself go, these past few days; I was so traumatized by the unfortunate events that I didn't dare to even pick up a bottle of alcohol the entire time we were in Florida. It was very complex, especially with everyone drinking around me; however, I still wasn't able to put my emotions in check or enjoy myself like I would have liked to. Max guided me through the airport in a swift manner; I wasn't in the mood to stop and socialize. I didn't want the fans to see me in this emotionally-suppressed state. Any pictures that leak out, without even a slight smile on my face, will just cause havoc in the media. I entered the van, then slid the door closed.
I thought of many ways I could approach Harry and plead my case - anything along the lines of how sincerely sorry I am, or anything that might be deemed as legitimate. He's not going to want to hear my drunken excuses. He can be very stubborn, often pushing people away. Usually, I'm always the one on the same side of the door as him when the others are trying to get him to open up and say something. I've always been the one there for him, but I'm afraid that someone else might deprive me of that position. That he will even allow them. The drive wasn't too long and we arrived at that flat sooner than I expected. "Louis!" Niall was standing by the doorway, then began sprinting towards me; a smile was plagued upon his lips, causing me to smile. It's hard not to, seeing as he's great at brightening up the day. "Glad to have you back, mate." He picked up some of my luggage and helped me carry it inside the house.
"Glad to be back." As soon as we stepped in, we set the luggage down and he gave me a lingering-hug. We usually don't go longer than a week without seeing each other, but, even-so, it feels longer. Foot steps grew closer and we both broke away the hug to be greeted by Liam - seems as though he helped himself to a banana and it took everything in me not to break down right then and there. That's Harry's favorite fruit.
"Hey, Lou. How was your vacation?"
"It was...okay." I smiled weakly, trying to hide any subtle hints that I was lying. It wasn't okay and I don't think anything would be okay until I made amends with Harry. I don't think I can go any twenty-four hours without him speaking to me, even if it's just bantering, shouting, mumbles, whispers...I don't care. I would just like to hear his voice.
"That's great to hear." I nodded, then brushed past Liam and Niall.
"I'm just going to unpack, then we can do some catching up." They both nodded in agreement, then disappeared into the kitchen. Chuckles, murmurs, and kisses could be heard from them, as I made my way upstairs. The halls were slightly dark, only consisted of light illuminating from the daylight. I set my luggage down near the small dresser-table in the corner of the hall, then stood in front of Harry's door. Even though we aren't on great terms, and even if we aren't by the end of the day, I'm too familiar with being in his room, in his presence. Even if he doesn't speak to me, I won't leave. I grabbed the chili door knob, then turned slowly, in case he was asleep. The door made a small creaking noise, as it swung open. It was dark - shades closed - but I could decipher his figure better than anyone elses'. He laid there, body spread upon the sheets, taking up most of the bed. I could hear his light snores, chest rising up and down in a steady motion. I approached the bed and knelt down beside it, pushing his curls from the front of his eyes. It wouldn't hurt to treasure the moment; I've missed him. But, I'm also reluctant to awaken him because he'll probably find an excuse to get away from me. I can understand his hurt and pain. After all, I am the one that caused it. I embarrassed him. Those words he left me with - about how he has always wanted to be with me - left me feeling empty inside after our departure because he's all I've ever wanted as well.
He stirred around in his sleep a bit and all the tension was apparent. It was as though he was having a nightmare or feeling uncomfortable. I placed my hand on his cheek and, even in his sleeping state, he melted into the touch, relaxing and smiling. He didn't awake, however. Now would be a good time as any other time and I didn't think twice about it, so, with that being said, I took my shoes off, placed them under the bed, then climbed under the comforters. Warmth had taken over me and I felt at peace, joyous and thankful for this longing feeling I've been missing all week. I wrapped my arms around his torso, then laid on his chest, allowing sleep to take over me.
_________________________
Niall's Point Of View.
Trapped between the soft, cushioned couch and Liam's muscular, yet gentle body, we spent the rest of the morning caught up in a make-out section. Per usual, it starts off with a light peck, then a second one - usually caused by some weird, magnetic reaction between our lips - then it grows into something more heated and lustful. We haven't went any further than that, but it has crossed my mind so many times, lately, and I'm more than ready to give into him, at will. He hovered above me, body pressed tightly into mine as if he was guarding me from ever leaving his side. His hands trailed down my thighs, lips sucking at the bare skin on my neck. I couldn't contain any withheld moans and they escaped my mouth in a constant formation. "R-red flag, Liam." I moan again, as he pulled his lips away from my body. We laid there, panting, which turned into random giggles.
"You know, I was thinking..." He began. "I know we're too young for marriage right now, even though I'm ready to submit myself to it, but...I was thinking that, for now, I know of another way to express my loyalty and love for you."
"What is it?" I asked softly.
"You might think I'm stupid." he buried his head in the crook of my neck and I could feel the heat of embarrassment in his cheeks.
"No, I won't. Tell me, babe. I'm always open to your ideas."
"I just...I was thinking if we could get matching tattoos, or I could get one for you, if you're not up - "
"That's a great idea." I said, happily.
"Really?" His face lit up.
"Yes. I would love for us to get one. How soon?"
"I spotted a shop when we were on our way here, this morning. It had me thinking, why the hell not? I have more than enough faith in us, even if others may think the odds will defeat us. I love you, Niall. It's not a question, it's not something I have to second guess about. It's fluent to me - without a doubt in mind." Perfection in human form, that's what he is. His actions, thoughts, and choices - this life we live in - may not be perfect, but he's perfect for me.
"I love you more." I closed the distant between us, giving him a much more powerful, passionate kiss. "Let's go." Liam quickly wrote a note and posted it on the fridge and we found ourselves rushing out the door with excitement and a new sense of confidence - for we knew this love and this relationship was one of the strong ones. One with no limits and boundaries; no secrets or lies. A love that everyone would love to hear about over and over again, making them believe they too can find something special as what we have. We buckled up our seat belts, passing one another a quick peck upon the lips, then drove off to the tattoo shop.
Much like all the times we accompanied Zayn on his trips to the tattoo shop, several of our fans were already swarming the shop. To our dismay, we didn't have Paul, or any of our other security guards for that matter. The best thing to do in this situation is to try to remain composed, brew up a small conversation with them, which usually results in them calming down, then make our way into the shop. Luckily, they're not allowed inside, so we won't be disturbed and our tattoos will remain hidden for as long as we wanted to allow it. They're screams echoed throughout my ear and, immediately, I grabbed on to the back of Liam's shirt, as he led us towards the crowd of girls.
"Niall, I love you!"
"Liam, sign this! Please?"
It was unbearable, but we owed them at least that much. "Calm down, ladies. One at a time." Liam instructed them and they received autographs, hugs, and pictures in an orderly fashion. We waved farewell, then made our way into the shop. The owners made sure the fans knew better than to pass their boundaries. There was on available seat.
"I'll go first, Li, though I am kind of scared."
"It'll be fine, babe, and I'll hold your hand." I nodded in approval. We decided that I would get small heart tattoos with the letter 'L' in the center of them, and Liam would do the same; however, he would have the letter 'N'. The owner wore a black, biker's jacket and Denim jeans. His mustache was thick, but trimmed in all the right places. His hair was braided in one braid going down the center of his back.
"Decided on what you're getting?"
"Y-yes." My voice was a little shaky, but I was one-hundred sure about it all. I suppose it's natural to be nervous during your first time of getting a tattoo. It's not as if I'm immune to pain. I sat down in the chair and Liam placed himself on a stool next to me. I decided I would go with my right hand and Liam would do his left - whenever we hold hands, all the hearts will connect and form a pattern. He held my right hand as the tattoo artist prepared the needle and ink, as well as the ointment. I closed my eyes, exhaled, then laid my head back. After almost two hours of an agonizing, painful sting, we were finally done with our tattoos. The artist placed a plastic sheet of wrap around them to keep them guarded for the next hour. I couldn't wait to show the lads, when we got back. "One of the best decisions I've ever made." I stated, analyzing my wrists, as we got into the car.
"I couldn't agree more. How about you and I go and get something to eat?"
"Do you even need an answer?" He chuckled, then leaned towards me, planting a kiss upon my lips. Then, we headed off. It dawned on me that, besides the lads knowing, we've never actually told anyone - management, the label, our fans - about us being in a relationship; we had that public make-out moment at the beach, the matching tattoos, which the artist can easily run the media and tell them what we've done, and we just kissed in the car, knowing our fans are within the area. Oddly enough, I guess we just don't care. We're taking big risks; however, nothing has gotten in the way.
__________________________
Harry's Point Of View.
I woke up to a heap of warmth spread throughout my body and, after fully ridding myself of the sleep, I realized it was Louis. If it were any other morning, I would have been more than happy to bask in the moment with him; however, I still hadn't forgiven him for the events that took place at his party. Louis has had several drunken nights before and he has done plenty of outrageous things - never with the intentions of hurting someone - but a part of me felt like he was aware of his actions and he wanted me to feel whatever pain he was feeling. He definitely proved that he doesn't trust me enough, let alone wants around any other guys that he may deem as competition. Trust me, I had no intentions of hooking up with George. Speaking of him, I think it's only fair that I be the one to apologize for Louis' behavior, especially with me being the one to invite him and all. Luckily, it was a private party; otherwise, the media would have had a field day.
I slowly removed Louis' head from my chest, then laid it on the pillow. Gliding off the bed had became more complex than usual, but I made it out the room without a sound. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and decided to send out a text to George; it was a bit risky, seeing as what happened the last time I tried to socialize with him, but, if I'm innocent - which I am - it's just friends hanging out. Should Louis choose to throw another fit, then I'm not exactly sure how I'll cope with being around him.
"If you're in town, mind meeting me for some Starbucks? x " - Harry
"I was actually headed to Starbucks now. See you there :) " - George
I slid my phone into my back pocket, grabbed my shoes, then headed out the bedroom door - careful not to awaken Louis in the process. Silence swept over the flat, not a figure in sight. Zayn's arrival still hasn't taken place, but I know Liam and Niall were here before I fell asleep. As I passed the kitchen, I came across a note on the fridge, answering the questioning whereabouts of Liam and Niall; they went to get tattoos and, per-usual, I felt envious. Their relationship seems perfect, though it isn't - and it might not be if management finds out. Some how, they block out all the odds and continue to make things work. They've proved that love can conquer all and, clearly, I went over my head, if I thought Louis and I could even become remotely close to following in their footsteps. Not to say that we couldn't be happy together, but I do ponder the thought now. Are we better off as best friends? Does that even matter now - now that our feelings are out in the open and we've gone past the point of no return? Things won't be the same.
I stuck the note back on the fridge for everyone else to see, then headed out the door. The chilly air hit my skin, causing almost every bone in my body to tense and tighten. I quickly ran to the car, then started it up - turning on the heater. The drive to Starbucks didn't take long and George awaited me in the parking lot. Now is probably not the best time to mention so, but he is very attractive. I'm only human though, so I have the right to compliment others. I just wish Louis didn't make me feel so guilty about certain things.
"Hey, Harry."
"Hi. Um...well, I just wanted to say - "
"Nope. How about we head inside, get some nice, warm mocha's, and discuss it all there?" He concluded, cutting me off mid-sentence. I smiled at the gesture and nodded my head in agreement. It was a bit cold, aforementioned, so the idea wasn't bad at all. We walked inside, causing the bell to chime. It was cozy, various chats coming from different tables, a beautiful melody - Fix You - playing at a reasonable volume. It definitely felt like winter time. Another great thing about being at home is...well, people know we're famous, but they don't pry into our business, nor do they ambush us every time they see us. It's easy to walk the streets, come into Starbucks for a hot delicacy, and you'll get a simple smile or a 'hello.'
We approached the counter, greeted by a middle-aged woman, hair full of brunette curls and bangs. She wore black, eye-shadow, making her hazel eyes more visible and a nude lip-stick. It is kind of crazy that I would have knowledge to all of this. "Hello, boys. I am Sandy. How can I help you?"
"I'll have a caramel frappe - a lot of cool whip on top." George said, completing his order. "Harry?"
"Umm, that actually sounds good. I'll have the same thing."
"Great. That will be 10.45." I handed her my credit card and received it back in return. "Your orders will be ready shortly."
"I'll go grab us a table, Harry." I nodded in approval, then remained near the counters, awaiting our frappes. I felt a slight buzz in my back pocket and, most likely, it would be Louis. I didn't realize, until now, that he was left home alone and I felt bad; however, I just needed a little bit more time away from him, to clear my head. I guess that's a difficult task to do when he's always on my mind.
"Your order." Sandy handed me our treats.
"Thank you." I made my way over to our table and handed George his frappe. "Smells great." I glided my finger across the cool whip, then licked it clean off.
"You have some on your - on your cheek." As I was about to wipe it off myself, George reached across the table, then removed it with his finger. I blushed, sadly, and I shouldn't have because I could be giving off the wrong signals. "So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?"
"Well, um...I really wanted to apologize for Louis' behavior at his party. He doesn't usually act like that and he did have a few drinks. It's still unacceptable and you didn't deserve it."
"Oh, that's all right, Harry. We all know Louis can be a bit feisty. No hard feelings...but, tell me one thing, why would he react the way he did?"
"Well, we've been kind of seeing each other, lately. We're not committed yet, and I think what happened just caused a minor set back. I'm starting to think he has trust issues."
"Does he think I like you?"
"I suppose so. He wanted my undivided attention, at the party, but it was hard to keep up with him when his family kept cutting in every five minutes."
"I see. Well, I wouldn't try to come in-between you two. Hopefully, he'll want to talk to me like this as well."
"Hopefully." I took a few small sips of my frappe, enjoying the caramel sensation.
"Can I ask you something else, Harry? Say I did like you...how would you feel about that?" I rose an eyebrow, staring at him curiously. I guess I wouldn't mind; however, that would only make things more complex for Louis and I. I wouldn't mind becoming closer friends with George, but if Louis knew he had feelings for me, he wouldn't allow us to be around each other. This question is going to taunt me and, most likely, it could be the start of something disastrous - depending on how I answer it.
"I suppose...you can't help how you feel?" He grinned.
"Nice save. Well, you better be getting back to Louis before he kicks your ass again."
"Hey, it was just a slap."
"You might not be so lucky next time." We both laughed, lightly. "Besides, Josh is meeting me here as well. We're suppose to be doing some shopping."
"Tell him I said hi. It was nice seeing you, George."
"You too, Harry." Before I left, I ordered another frappe, asking Sandy if she could write Louis' name on it. After talking to George, I actually felt much better; no grudges, no tension, no questions. I knew I belonged with Louis and I was more than excited to get home and be with him.