➮𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇
➮𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐎'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕
➮𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃
➮𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 [𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃]
━━━━━━♕━━━━━━
i don't know where it all went wrong.
we used to be so close together. we would call all day and night if we weren't already next to each other.
i remember when he would come home before me and make me my favorite food, pork curry with an egg on top, just to surprise me.
when we would go on little museum dates so that he talk about the different dinosaurs and show the fossils. it was always so cute.
when we would go to carnivals and amusement parks and get home teasing each other.
when we would stargaze on the lawn and end up falling asleep.
the way his clothes were always baggy on me and how his body warmed mine.
how his beautiful golden-brown eyes shone in the moonlight.
how soft his lips were on mine.
everything about him is perfect.
so i was the problem.
he felt the tears running down my face. why do i always ruin everything?
Tobio let his tears run down his face as they fell onto Kei's pillow underneath his head. he was in his favorite hoodie that covered his legs if he tucked into it and hid his face. it wasn't his hoodie. it was Kei's.
it smelt like him, reminding him of the times they would just cuddle for hours on end or when Tobio would lay on Kei, hugging him while he watched tv, was on his phone, or sleeping.
was i too clingy? wtf did i do?
Tobio continued to cry for a long period of time. he didn't know how long he had been crying for .kei's pillow was soaked and his breathing was harsh.
i miss you.
tobio eventually calmed my breathing and just laid on our bed with kei's lingering scent.
"tobio..?" a calm and familiar voice said from the entrance of their shared room.tobio rolled over, showing his read, puffy eyes and tear-stained face.
kei immediately went to tobio and pulled him into his chest, "what's wrong?"
"im sorry kei, I'm so so so sorry,"tobio's voice broke and the tears came back pouring down his face.
"hey.. it's not your fault ok? don't blame yourself,"kei said with a soothing voice, running his hand through tobio's hair.
"but if i didn't start that argument that day-"kei lifted tobio's head, "tobio. it wasn't your fault. it was just my time."
"no..no no no NO! you're supposed to grow old with me and shower me with kisses! you're supposed to take me on dates and then get home and dance with me!"
"tobio.."
"it was a bad dream. it was. just a bad dream. you're here with me right now so it was a bad dream right?"
"i'm not supposed to be here tobio.."
tobio sobbed harder, "please stay..don't leave me.."
"tobio..i would love to stay..but i can't, we both know that.."
"then..then ill..ill be selfish.."
"you have to let me go tobio, find someone knew, love them and grow old with them."
"no. i love you kei. only you. i cant love again."
"you have to tobio,"
"but..i want to spend more time with you! i don't want this to end.." tobio let his tears soak kei's chest, "i want you to stay."
"and i will, i'll be with you all the time. i'll watch over you and i'll see you be happy..without me."
"n-no..i can't be happy without you."
"tobio. please you have to be happy."
"no. not without you."
"then..be happy for me. live your life. let me go."tobio continued to sob. the pain in his chest aching.
"im happy with you.."tobio spoke quietly,
"i am too tobio, i don't have much time left tobio.."
"no..please..stay with me.."
"i can't tobio.."
"then..can we dance..? for the last time.."
"of course my majesty,"kei stood up and held his hand out for tobio who gave him a weak smile and took his hand.
he pulled him into his chest and tobio buried his head into the crook of kei's neck, taking in his scent.
they swayed quietly with tobio crying into kei's shoulder.
"i have to go now tobio.."kei said quietly into tobio's ear,
"no..not yet,"tobio pulled away from the hug to look at kei. he took in all of his features. his golden brown eyes that put him in a trance, that jawline that killed tobio, the softest lips tobio has ever kissed, the glasses that he always stole and put on, the blonde fluffy, tousled hair. he took it all in, memorizing it and treasuring the last time he would get to see the face of the person he loved.
"i'll always love you, i promise i''ll be there for you, watching from above. ill cheer for you at your wedding and cry tears of joy, "kei laughed lightly, "i'l always be here tobio."
tobio met his lips with kei's, savoring the last kiss and the soft touch of kei's lips on his, "i love you too,"
tobio blinked and fell to the floor, tears spilling out of his eyes, his sobs loud enough to be heard by his neighbor's neighbors.
he's gone.
he put his head on the cool floor and cried, puddles forming on the floor.
he screamed, the pain evident in his voice.
why? why? why tf did this happen? why did you want to take away my happiness? huh? WHY?
tobio cursed the universe, everything, and everyone.
how am i supposed to love again?
-flashback: 2 weeks ago-
tobio was worried, he didn't mean to blow up like that. he was under a lot of stress and kei was too. that was a recipe for disaster.
the huge fight between the two resulted in kei getting out of the house. he wanted the both of them to cool off.
he left multiple calls and messages to kei's number, which none were answered.
"where are you kei?"tobio was pacing back and forth, kei hadn't gotten back home yet and it had been hours. he stopped the breathed out, "calm down, nothings gonna happen..distract yourself." tobio sighed the sat on the couch, he turned on the tv to the news.
nothing new-
huh?
tobio's heart stopped.
on the tv:
"earlier today, a devastating car accident resulted in a death of 24 year old tsukishima kei. reports say he died on impact while the drunk driver is currently in critical condition. as you can see here the bo-"
tobio turned off the tv.
"..what?" tobio breathed out,"this is a dream right? a lie? an evil prank?"tobio stood up and ran out to see if kei took their car.
there, their driveway was empty.
"coincidence. there's no way he's gone. theres..theres...no.." tobio's eyes welled up with tears. the realization slowly hitting him.
kei's gone.
-back to the present-
tobio was still on the floor but seemingly calmed down. he had ignored all the worried calls and messages he got from his friends and his sister. what was he supposed to say?
'im fine thank you..' or 'im handling it well"
because those were lies.
no one ever noticed that tobio lied about how he felt, the only one who saw through his facade was kei.
kei is perfect. he should have lived longer. it should have been me behind that wheel. the one who died on impact who didn't get the chance to have a fighting moment to last.
he should be here. living. breathing. smiling. being happy. not me.
"tobio. it wasn't your fault."
kei's voice rang in tobio's head, almost as if he was right there, talking to him.
i'll dance with you every night ok?
ill dance with your ghost.
━━━━━━♕━━━━━━
[𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄]
➮i cried writing this, lol fun