"Your sister is not going to school today" Charlie sighed while taking a sip from his cup, I blinked. It was not news for me, Bella was still unresponsive. The only reaction we have gotten out of her was the 5 full hours of crying when I mentioned Edward's name. That prick.
"I figured" I went back to munching my toast, I was not very hungry but I was trying really hard to get by. Focusing on my sister had been helping me the last hours to take my mind of Rosalie but now that Bella was sleeping, the pain I have been struggling to push deep down my stomach was coming back up.
"How are you feeling?" my eyes found Charlie when I heard his question, I tried to school my expression as good as I could.
"Fine" I shrugged my shoulders, he gave me a knowing look "I will miss my friend tho..."
I felt a little guilty about playing the friendless card on my dad. It was something I knew both of my parents worried about. Also I knew that since I hated to talk about it, Charlie would feel a little uncomfortable bringing it up in the future.
"Surely you will miss the Hale boy" he tilted his head, his tone was different. Almost accusing.
I cleared my throat, internally I was groaning. What was it with my dad always questioning me about my love life? Wasn't it an unsaid pact among every dad and daughter for both to ignore that topic unless it was necessary?
"Jasper was a good friend of mine" I sighed, the last memory I held of him was horrible.
I knew that frenetic vampire trying to eat us, was not the sweet southern gentleman that was willing to be my fake boyfriend just to make me look more straight.
"And Rosalie too" he added pointedly, I could feel tears forming on the rim of my eyes at the mention of her name.
All my confidence was crashing, I thought that maybe I could be a little more discrete about how heartbroken I actually was but if just hearing her name was tearing me down like this, what would be like to face the whole school?
"Yeah" I bit my lip, swallowing the lump on my throat "Rosalie too"
"You guys could still talk on the phone" Charlie tried to cheer me up and extended his hand to me on top of the table, I reached for it "Communication nowadays is not that difficult"
"Rosalie is a really popular girl" I lied immediately, trying to make up a story that will explain why she won't be keeping in touch without actually revealing the truth "We could be keeping in touch at the beginning but eventually she will make more friends and I do not want to trouble her"
"Soff, she looked like she really cared for you" Charlie's tone softened, it was a little rare that he was so insistent about her "I am sure she would not mind to call you once or twice a week, or send emails"
"It is me who told her not to call me anymore" I rolled my eyes, it was getting annoying that Charlie was so stubborn "She is 18 – will be 19 by the summer-, she is worrying about college and moving to a new town, so the last thing she need is a clingy 16 year old holding on to her just because I am her... friend" I started to ramble but caught myself at the last part, Charlie was conflicted so I decided to end this conversation "I do not need to be her charity case dad, I told her not to call me anymore because at first she will call every day, then twice a week and eventually the phone will stop ringing" I took out my inhaler, some tears were rolling down my cheeks "I will not put myself through that, it will be slowly painful"
I was staring down at my dad in silence as he took in all of my words.
I did not know why I was making this whole story up, partly it was for the Cullens' sake, to make them look more human, I was doing this because I love Rosalie and while I hated that she broke up with me and my pride urged me to let her go, my heart was unwilling to even dare of speaking ill of her.
"Let's make a deal" Charlie broke the everlasting silence, I did not reply but simple arched an eyebrow "You can miss school as long as Bella does, I will make Dr. Gerandy write both of you some sort of excuse –he still owns me a couple of parking tickets so I will settle that- "Charlie also stood up from the table, his proposal was actually good so I was expecting the conditions "You can use that time to go to La Push with Leah and maybe she can introduce you to some new friends there"
"What's the catch?" I could not help but ask, it was rather difficult to believe that he would simply let me ditch school because I was sad.
"There is no catch" my dad rolled his eyes a little defeated "I want you to be happy here Soff, besides you really do not need to actually go to school, so as long as you still keep up your grades and do not get in trouble, I think that I can ignore the fact that you are not going to school"
"Thank you, dad" I smiled a little "For the trust"
"You are welcome kiddo" he ruffled my hair and gave me a quick hug. His awkwardness was really starting to grow on me.
"Dad" I called him just as he was about to exit the kitchen, he turned slightly to me "I will help you out with Bella"
He nodded with his eyes full of gratitude, then he headed out of the door.
Once again I was alone, well Bella was upstairs but in her current status she was not any better company than a plant.
"Are you ditching school, dimples?" Leah's teasing voice had an underline of worrisome, I walked up to the counter she was behind on.
"What can I say?" I replied smug while leaning on the counter trying to act cool "I am a troublemaker"
"You are anything but" she snorted rolling her eyes.
"Charlie gave me the ok to ditch school somedays as long as I stay on top of my classes" I explained dismissively not trying to give it too much importance. Leah frowned for a second.
"What about your sister?" Leah's question made me hesitate.
"She is home" I bit my lip "No better than yesterday but right now staring at her is a cruel reminder of what happened"
"Heartbreaks are brutal" she agreed with a huff "How are you holding up?"
"I am broken" I admitted with a lump on my throat "I am just looking for some glue"
"I know a thing or two about gluing yourself back together after a nasty breakup" Leah winked at me.
"I was counting on that" I grinned without humor.
"What are you doing Friday night?" she arched an eyebrow.
"I had no plans but I supposed that is about to change" I laughed.
"I'll pick you up at 6" Leah extended her hand expectant, I shook it.
"Deal"
"Hey Leah!" a girl's voice interrupted us, I looked over my shoulder in the doors' direction, it was a short girl with shoulder long black hair.
She was wearing black ripped jeans with military green combat boots and a white shirt with a black leather jacket on top, her walk dripped confidence. I turned to lean on my elbow to get a better look at her, she ignored me as she reached the counter as her attention was solely on my best friend.
"Hey there Kim" Leah greeted her back.
Their familiarity took me a little by surprise, this girl looked a little younger than Leah – more around my age- so they obviously did not meet on school.
"My mom told me to come and give you this" the girl took out an envelope from the inside pocket of her jacket and handed it to Leah "She did not say what it was so just give it to your mom".
"Sure" Leah nodded not giving it much thought then finally set her eyes again on me "Have you met my girl Soff?"
The other girl finally took notice of me, I gave her a shy smile.
"Hi nice to meet you I am Soffia Swan" I extended my hand to her "Please call me Soff, tho"
"Hi Soffia" she smirked as she used my full name, my hand twitched uncomfortable "My name is Kim Lewis, nice to meet you too"
She shook my hand slowly.
"Soff is just fine" I assured her a little uneased, I hated being called by my full name.
She laughed "Oh! But Soffia is such a beautiful name"
I shook my head with a grimace, both her and Leah were founding my distress really entertaining, this girl was quite something.
"How do you two know each other?" I could not hold my curiosity any longer.
"Kim's mother and mine are best friends so we basically grew up together" Leah shrugged her shoulders, Kim nodded.
"And how do you two know each other?" Kim repeated my question back at us.
"Her dad and my dad are friends" I answered this time instead, now it was Leah's turn to nod.
"I haven't seen you around on the rez before" she arched an eyebrow.
"She and her sister are seniors on Forks High" Leah explained.
"You don't look like a senior" Kim bit her lip and eyed me up and down.
"I am 16 and my sister Bella is 18, but I skipped 2 years" I shrugged my shoulders and braced myself to the snarky comments I knew were to come.
Every person I have ever met had one word for me after I told them I had skipped two grades, they always called me a nerd.
So Kim's next response really took me by surprise.
"Well the lady is beautiful and smart" she whistled looking at Leah with some spark on her eyes "Kudos for you Soffia"
My mouth was slightly open; I did not even bother to correct her about my name.
"And she just got dump" Leah added giving Kim a knowing look while I glared at her.
"Was it really necessary to bring that up?" I asked her dreadful and a little embarrassed, I did not need Kim to know about that because if she asks questions what would I say? Certainly not that I was dating a girl, let a long a vampire.
"Yeah" Leah hit me on the arm "The plans I was telling you about its kind of Kim's and I thing so I have to tell her I invited you too"
"You totally have to come" Kim placed her hand in a comfort matter on my arm "You are going to have so much fun"
Her reassuring words made me feel a little better so I gave her a little smile.
"Thanks guys"
"Anytime, so I will see you and Soffia on Friday" Kim patted my arm once more before waving both of us goodbye.
Once I got home, I checked on Bella but she was in no different state than when I left. The only difference was that now she was brooding on the living room instead of her room and the dirty plate on the sink told me she had at least eaten something.
I got up to my room and laid on my head, once more I was alone. All the pain I had achieved to lock away came back now that I had no one and nothing to distract myself with.
People often claim that a clean break makes you heal faster. This theory they apply to both bones and hearts which is just such a dumb idea. Obviously they had never gotten their heart broken by the person they loved the most, because there was nothing clean about it.
It was also such a contraposition of my feelings, I felt like I was nursing a deathly wound which was visible only to me. This pain was brought to me by someone I trusted and as much as I wanted to hate this person for betraying me, my heart was set to no cave. To continue loving her despite all the damage she had inflected upon me.
I knew what she did to me was unforgivable, she had taken all my soft spots and all of my insecurities and had hit all off them with no regards of what it would do to me. The worst thing was not that she broke me, it was that I had told her exactly how to do so.
I shut my eyes close and forced myself to think of anything else, I needed to take her off my head.
Published 01/12/2021