TAE BU. 🔷
CHAPTER 3: MY HEART IS A RUNAWAY
➿ JUST FRIENDS. ➿
"And I will be expecting your homework in two days, y'all do have a nice day." Mr. Dare, our math teacher said with a smile as we all began to pack our things and get ready to leave.
I looked at Katherine for a split second, she was also packing her stuff. I quickly gathered my things nervously and walked out of class before anybody else.
"Vincent!" Julian called and I rapidly turned. "Hey, what's wrong? Where are you off to?"
"I....have to...go, I'll see you later." I said and rushed down the hall, I didn't want to see her and I know I could have just ignored and pretended, but I was panicking.
Her question rang in my head severally, continuously in different classes that we unfortunately both happened to share. I am so stupid for drooling over Julian like that in class, I needed to be more careful and needed to put my emotions in check before it got out of hand and people began to figure things out. Like Katherine.
I bumped into someone while in my thoughts and my phone fell to the ground.
"Shit!" I bent and picked it up, but then realised that this was not my phone with a cracked screen.
"Wow. Way to go, Vincent." A familiar voice said, I looked up to see Tae looking at me with a not so pleasant expression.
"Shit. I am so sorry. I was so in my head."
"You most certainly were." He said as he took his phone back from me.
"I am really really sorry."
"It's fine." He shrugged and put the phone in his trench coat pocket.
"Don't be mad."
"I am not." He shrugged. "It's just a small crack."
I smiled awkwardly. "Tae, right?"
Tae smirked. "He remembers."
"I am very good with names, so." I shrugged.
"A good memory, well you'll be a good one to gossip with." He said and I chortled.
Tae was wearing black plain pants and a black top, accompanied with an ash trench coat. He looked like money, and that had nothing to do with the fact that he was asian, but he actually smelt like he had never known poverty, or maybe it was just me. But I have been poor all my laugh so I would know.
Tae was a good looking guy, his skin was smooth and God I wanted to ask what his skin care routine was because he was gorgeous, but then I knew it probably cost more than my life. Tae was also a bit taller than I was which I'd say suited him and made him hotter.
"So, Vincent. Where was your head?"
I looked at him, confused. "Sorry?"
"Where were you in a hurry to while having a mental battle because you couldn't see me and sent my phone flying about two minutes ago?"
"Oh," I shook my head. "Ha! Yeah, sorry, I uh, I was thinking of....you know? Homework and stuff, nothing important."
"Lies. But I am not gonna ask any further. So, let's eat lunch together."
"Oh, I would love to but I....I need to go to the-"
"To the what?" He cocked his brow at me. "I don't think I see you in the cafeteria at all. Do you even have friends?"
"What?" I fake laughed. "Of course I have friends."
"Friends, Vincent. I didn't say friend, and Julian is one person, stupid."
I bit my lip from the inside. "Well, Miss Salmon is also-"
"Don't even finish that sentence." He cut me off as he shook his head slowly. "Friends your age." He said as if speaking to a child. "You need friends your own age, okay? Mrs. Salmon is like four times your age."
"S-She's not that old."
"Still."
"Gee. You sound so much like her." I rolled my eyes.
"Who?"
"Miss Salmon."
"Well then, leave the poor woman alone and come sit with me during lunch, we are friends from today, Mr. Vincent.....?" He looked at me with furrowed brows.
"Lockhart."
"Ah, nice."
"What's your last name?" I asked as he dragged me along with him to lunch.
"Bu."
"Bu. W-What does it mean?" I asked as he put an arm over my shoulder and began walking towards the cafeteria direction.
He smirked. "It means wealth, or fortune or whatever."
See. I was right.
"And please don't ever compare me to Kpop artists, it is weird as hell and makes me uncomfortable."
I knitted my brows. "Tae, I would never compare you to Kpop artists, even I think it is weird when people see a Korean boy and say he looks like Jimin or any Kpop star or actors, and then see an asian woman and then say 'omg, you look like jennie'." I grimaced. "Yeah, it gets mad weird."
"Thank you!!" He groaned. "It really is weird when they say stuffs like that."
"I'm sorry you have to go through that shit." I said as we walked into the cafeteria.
"Oh, it's okay." He shrugged. "So, where's your table?"
I looked around and shrugged. "I just sit anywhere, and besides I never really come to the cafeteria."
"Well, let us go get your food."
I shook my head. "Oh, I'm not...I'm not hungry."
"You sure?"
I nodded. "Very."
The truth was that I couldn't afford lunch here, it was only going to make things hard for mom so I sometimes brought food from home. Sometimes. And last night i had slept really late and woken up a little late this morning, Mom was too tired and I couldn't make breakfast and lunch for myself before leaving, so here I am.
"What about you?" I asked and he patted his backpack. "Well, let us find us an empty table and make it ours." He said and took his hand off my shoulder, held my hand and pulled me along with him with a smile.
"Too ugly." He said, walking away from the table.
"Too close to noisy people." He said, after we had spotted another, pulling me away again.
This time, we were starting to get stares cause he was loud and kept walking around while I followed.
"If you continue like this Tae, we will not find any tab-"
"Found one." He said and pointed at it.
"Tae, wa-"
"Come on." He said and walked ahead, I sighed and followed. With a smile of victory, he sat down and looked at me.
"Well? Are you not gonna sit or do you love standing and getting all the attention from high school students?" He asked and I scowled at him immediately, I looked around to see some kids were indeed actually looking, I quickly across beside him.
"You are...really annoying."
"My mother has called me worse," he said with a smirk. "You might wanna try something hard if you wanna hurt my feelings, Vinnie." He said as he opened his backpack and took out his lunch which was wrapped in a tall white bag. Tae unwrapped it and took. A smile w fixed on his face as he opened it and it's aroma nearly killed me.
It smelled so fucking good that my stomach almost grumbled.
"What is that?" I asked, trying not to drool.
Tae grinned. "Kimchi Jjigae." He answered and looked at me. "You want some?"
"Oh, n-no, I'm good."
Tae sighed in irritation. "No, you're not."
I chuckled. "I am."
"Vincent," Tae called and handed me his spoon. "I know you are like super poor, and you can't afford your meals here. Like so poor you would rather sit with Miss Salmon than come to the cafeteria and be injured by scents of food."
I froze, blinking severally. "I- what? W-Wh-Why would you think I can't afford my meals here?"
Tae furrowed his brows at me like I was stupid. "Vincent, don't even try to pretend. I know you cannot afford your meals here. The same way you could smell that I came from money earlier, is the same way that I could tell you had money problems by just looking at your eyes." He said with a smile and I blinked, taken aback.
"Um...ouch."
How did he know i was thinking about that?
"Sorry. I tend to be like blunt sometimes and not think before speaking, actually I do think, I just do not care what other people think about me cause I only say the truth, and if I am wrong then by all means correct me." He shrugged.
"Um, I-"
"See," he cut me off. "You can't. But don't worry, I like you as a person and I will not go about telling your business. Now, there is no need to act like you are not hungry, and you can be mad at me for figuring it out, that's okay , I'm a smart one. I won't go telling everyone you can't afford your meal, so now, eat with me." He said and waved the spoon at me.
"I...I couldn't. I just knew you like....not so long ago and we are practically strangers so why would I-"
"We are not strangers anymore. I know your name is Vincent and you know my name is Tae, so we are....acquaintances? If you don't prefer friends yet."
Well,
"It's very delicious." He cocked a brow at me. "And I know you want a taste."
I looked around to see if anyone was watching. "Don't do that." He said and I looked back at him.
"Don't do what?"
"Start to think of what people will think or say, just eat." He said and placed the spoon in my hand. "Now try it."
I smiled. "Thanks," I said and took a spoonful, I ate it and let me tell you, it was so delicious like he had said, maybe delicious was not even the word cause it was that good.
"Oh wow." My eyes widen as I chewed.
"My mother made this and she is a very good cook, even though she's a bitch half the time." He said.
Tae was such a sweetheart, he looked like a cold person outside but was actually nice.
"Keep eating." He said, and I fucking did.
"Good, right?"
I nodded. "It is." I said and gave him back his spoon. "Thank you."
"Oh no no," he didn't take the spoon back. "I am not exactly hungry, so you can eat my meal. I hate it anyways, my mothers' food but the bitch can cook, so."
"Oh, I could...not."
"It's fine."
"We'll share. I am not eating your lunch."
"Okay, fine." He said and took the spoon.
I wanted to ask about his mother because he seemed to hate her, but i just kept that to myself.
"Erm, quick question," I cleared my throat. "Why exactly are you talking to me?"
"Because you don't give a shit about making friends with anyone." He shrugged. "Like me."
"But you made friends with me." I frowned.
"Yeah, maybe so we can trash talk everyone. You look like someone that does that a lot mentally, so I would like to hear them."
"Gee, thank you so much for calling me a bitch."
"Hey, if that's what they are called then you said it not me." He said and I laughed.
"Sometimes say that thing that's in your head, it'll make you feel better."
"Hmm," I gave a small nod. "Why don't you have friends?"
"Cause this school is filled with fake shitheads, and let me tell you, there are some kids who act rich here that are...poor. Poorer than you if I'd say."
"Can you stop reminding me that I am poor?"
"Why? It's you." He shrugged. "Own it."
I rolled my eyes. "Asshole."
"Bitch." He replied as he ate another spoonful of kimchi.
I held back a laugh. "But you do have friends though, I think I have seen you around certain people?"
"Yes. But I like to refer to them as acquaintances. Not everyone should be your friend, not everyone has to be."
"But earlier you were telling me to have friends."
"Yeah, I said not everyone has to be, doesn't mean some shouldn't." He shrugged.
"Hm."
"Now, eat." He handed me his spoon.
🔷 ♠️🔷
"Hey, Vincent!" I heard behind me as I was walking down the school hallway. I turned to see a girl with curly full hair approaching me. We were in the same music class and that was how I knew her.
"Hi."
"Oh, April, how are you?"
"Good." She grinned.
"Can I help you?"
"Oh yeah, uh," she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was wonderinngggg, if maybe you wanted to you know? Help me out with this song I am writing, you come over to my place and we....you play the piano and I....y'know?" She beamed.
I blinked. "Oh! Um, I...I would love to, but I am....I am so busy and I have my schedule all full and stuff."
"Oh! How about tomorrow? It doesn't have to be today?"
"Same thing."
Why was she hitting on me? Flirting? I knew her intensions, she wanted to go on a date, but if she was Julian, i would have said yes.
"Weekend?"
"Plans."
"Next week."
"Same plans."
"Next weeken-"
"Look, April, I can't, my mom needs me at home at this point and I can only make it to actual rehearsals, I'm sorry."
Her face was filled with disappointment. "Oh," she faked a smile. "That's okay, I'll just....ask someone else."
I nodded. "Yeah, but if you are open to rehearsing here at school, that's fine. We could use our lunch break, with a couple of other students from our music class to help."
April faked a smile. "Sure. That sounds....brilliant. I will uh, see you later."
"Okay then, bye." I said and watched her turn and walk away.
"Wow, you really do suck." Lu said as she walked over to me from her locker.
"Excuse me?"
"You know she was hitting on you, right?"
I furrowed my brow at her. "She was? Oh, I must be so blind." I said in a bored tone.
"She was," Lu said as she kept chewing a gum. This sexy bitch wouldn't leave me alone, we weren't friends and I was wondering why she was next to me and not walking. She adjusted her designer handbag that probably cost my entire fees that I couldn't pay for.
"Why didn't you just go to her house?" She questioned.
I sighed with irritation as I turned to her. "If you heard the first half of our conversation then you probably heard the second half and know why." I answered, faking a smile at her just because I didn't wanna come off rude.
"Well," she pouted, folding her arms . "True. But, you need a girlfriend, don't you think?"
"No, thank you, Lu." I closed my locker.
"You both would make a nice couple, you guys are literally....fit for each other."
I frowned. "And what does that mean?"
"She's....your type."
"What do you think my type is?"
"Someone like you. Boring and well, you know where I am heading with this, no offence."
Um, every offence taken.
I smiled. "Well, thank you for your....concern, Ladybug, but I am not interested, I just wanna study and graduate. Unlike you, Lu who has daddy to pay for everything including their plastic surgery, there are people like us who need that scholarship badly because you know, we are poor."
"And how is that my fault?"
"It isn't, just mind your business." I said and walked away but she followed.
"I just want what is best for my boyfriend's best-friend." She said and I rolled my eyes.
Can she leave me alone?
"But you can't spend your entire life in the books, V."
"Don't call me V." I said as I kept walking
"So, V,"
Jesus christ.
"You should really go see her because, you cannot keep hovering around Julian, you know? He has a life and you should also....you know? Get one."
What did that mean?
I stopped on my heels and turned to her, a confused look on my face. "I'm sorry, did Julian complain to you about something?"
"He didn't but I can tell you are stopping him from doing other things," she shrugged, folding her arms. "I mean, you are really dependent on Julian and it is starting to.....how do I say this nicely? Seem pathetic." She said with a small nod.
I scoffed and tilted my head to the side. "Wow."
I could feel this anger rushing inside of me and I had so many things I wanted to say to her, but I needed to keep calm for Julian.
"I am just looking out for you, sweetie, a lot of people are starting to talk."
I flashed her a smile. "Well, I am glad that as the president of the 'people can't mind their business' club, you took it upon yourself to share your views and tell me what everyone is thinking, I really do appreciate it."
Lu gave me a stern look. "You are not funny right now, Vincent."
"I was merely thanking you, Luciana, why would I try to be funny."
"Just get a life, okay?"
"Maybe it's you who needs a life, Lu. Because it seems to me like you are the one who is a bother to Julian," I smiled. "I have done nothing but minded my business and maybe if you did the same thing, you would be more likeable but of course, trust Luciana Bates to not know when to shut the fuck up." I sighed.
Luciana looked gobsmacked that I had spoken to her in such a manner, and I wouldn't actually, but I was so irritated at this point that I wanted to slap her.
"Listen, you cornstarch crusader. I don't know what you are and honestly I could give a shit about you," she snapped. "But you need your own life and leave Julian to live his, so he doesn't have to worry every-time about your sorry pathetic ass, Vincent." She said, finally turning into the snake she was. "You two are not the first best friends in the world, so fucking stop him from worrying about if you're hurt or whatever. He always has to complain about you and it is disgusting and really pathetic, because seriously, it is exhausting!"
I stared at her as she spoke, my heart hurting at the thought of Julian complaining to this she-devil.
"But they are best friends, that is their job, Lu." A voice said and we both looked to our left to see Katherine with a smile on her face, approaching us.
"No one is talking to you, Katherine."
"And I am sure Vincent did not ask your ass for your opinions, you succubus. You have money and whatever but here you are, still unable to mind your own fucking business and honestly that is what is really pathetic." Katherine said with a small laugh as she walked to stand beside me.
"Julian worries so much about him because he loves him and they are best friends, but you could never understand the love of friendship because no one wants to be by your side. They would rather die or drink acid than have Luciana as their friend and you don't stop to wonder why? You've never experienced friendship because you are a sad, miserable person, Lu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Katherine said, a smile still fixed on her face. "Go fuck yourself."
"Katherine." I called softly, but she just rose a hand at me, telling me to shut up.
Lu looked at Katherine with shock and so much hate in those eyes of hers. God, it was terrifying but Katherine did not seem to care.
"You wanna give Vincent an advice? How about I give you one instead, hmm?" Katherine cocked her brows at her. "Fuck. Off." She smiled. "Stop being jealous of Vincent here and get yourself some job, a hobby or something, okay, sweetie?"
Lu let out a small chuckle. "This is why no one likes you, Katherine."
"Ouch. That really hurt me so bad." Katherine gasped dramatically
"You watch your back now." Lu said angrily, she gave me a look, flashed me a fake smile and then walked away.
"What the hell?"
"You're welcome." She turned to me and smiled.
"Um,"
"Allow her get into your head and the bitch wins." Katherine said and began walking away.
I blinked as I watched her, then followed, running to catch up with her. "Wait! W-Why did you....I mean, don't you hate everyone?"
"You are unproblematic, so no, I don't hate you." She said, not looking at me as we walked out of school.
"Oh," I smiled softly. "Thanks."
"What I still do not understand, Vincent," she turned to look at me. "Is why you fell for Julian, and if you don't wanna talk about it, it is fine."
I nervously chuckled. "I didn't f-"
"I'm bisexual, Vinnie. I might not be a guy, gay or a full blown lesbian, but I know a gay man when i see one, no matter how many yards of straight fabric you have on." Katherine said and continued to walk.
Well, fuck.
She was a live gay detector. She knew i was gay, she knew i had feelings for Julian, she knew everything and I didn't even say shit. It made me wonder how many people also knew.
"Okay," I said, and she stopped on her heels and turned to me.
"Okay, what?"
"Okay, you are right." I said and quickly made my way towards her. "I am....y'know?"
"A homosexual?" She nonchalantly asked.
I gave her a look, then looked around me and back at her. "Do you need a microphone to tell the entire school that, or would you rather say that in soprano?"
Katherine rolled her eyes. "If you are worried about me outing you then you are fine, I wouldn't. Like i said, you are unproblematic and I like unproblematic people. If you are not ready for people to find out you are not gay, then...you might need to be more careful cause you are slipping."
I swallowed, nervously. "I really am, huh?"
"But you shouldn't worry about that," she smiled. "Do you wanna go have diner?"
I shook my head. "N-No, I'm good."
"Well then, let's go to your house."
I blinked. "M-My house?"
"Do you have a dead body in your freezer?"
"What? No."
"Well then, let's go." Katherine smiled. "And besides, we could do our homework together, you love homework don't you?"
I gave her a stern look. "Don't mock me. Nobody likes homework,"
"I'm sure you do."
"Fuck you, Katherine."
Katherine chuckled. "You have to be straight or bi to dream of that." She said as she put on her sunglasses.
"Why do you even want to go to my house?"
"Because I don't want to go to mine, and I don't exactly have friends, so."
"Why is everyone who doesn't have a friend approaching me today?"
"Because you don't have a friend either." She shrugged.
I grimaced and shook my head at her. Katherine flashed me a smile and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Come on, I will drop you home." Katherine said and began walking away, a sigh escaped my lips as I followed her.
"Hey, Lockhart!" I heard Julian call.
I turned as quickly as I could and placed a smile on my face. "Hey, you." I replied, as he jogged towards me.
He looked behind me and smiled at Katherine. "Hey," he said and then looked at me, cocking a brow at me. "You both are friends now?" He whisper-asked.
"Apparently," I replied.
"Well, be careful. I heard she eats humans."
"I heard that." Katherine said and we both turned to her. "I'm literally standing behind Vincent."
"Excuse me," Julian said and pulled me aside. "So, I hope you know I am coming over tonight, yeah?"
"Tonight?" I frowned. "Wasn't it supposed to be tomorrow?"
"You weren't listening to me earlier, were you?"
I hissed. "Sorry, I must have blacked out the second you opened your mouth."
Julian pulled my cheek gently, I winced and slapped his hand off, and with a pout, rubbed it. "Asshole."
"I will see you later tonight, alright?"
I nodded. "Okay, fine. And make sure you get me some of your mom's food, tell her I asked, she loves me." I proudly said.
"Yeah, yeah, I will." He rolled his eyes.
"Hey, babe." Luciana appeared all of a sudden, standing beside Julian. "What are we talking about?"
My smiled faded once the she-devil appeared and God, I wanted to pull out every one of her tooth with a plier. "Nothing really." I flashed her a fake smile.
"Oh, Julian's visiting Vincent tonight." Katherine said.
Julian and I both frowned once she spoke. How did she hear us?
"Oh. That's weird. Did you forget? We have a date tonight." She said.
"A date?" Julian and I asked.
Lu chuckled. "Yes, silly. Remember I told you, tonight was date night."
"Isn't it tomorrow?" Julian asked.
So that's why he wanted to postpone...
"We are having a family dinner tonight, I must have forgotten to mention it, I'm sorry, love." She said and pulled his face towards hers and kissed him.
I swallowed, my chest tightening as I looked away.
"I was supposed to be at...Vincent's tonight." Julian said.
Lu looked at me and I fake a smile at her. "I'm sure Vincent wouldn't mind, it's just one night, right?" She asked, flashing me a big fucking fake smile.
I clenched my fist behind my back and also faked a big smile as well. "Of course, you lovebirds have fun."
My throat hurt.
"See, he doesn't mind." Lu said.
"You sure?" Julian asked.
I nodded. "Of course, besides I'm uh, I'm gonna be busy tonight, I was gonna cancel anyways." I lied.
"Oh. Um, okay then." Julian smiled. "See you tomorrow, cancel whatever plans you have."
I chuckled. "Yes yes."
"Thank you, Vinnie." Lu sang.
"It is Vincent to you." I sang back.
And we both fake laughed.
Lu pulled Julian's face again and kissed him deeply, I watched them make out while I clenched my fist tighter.
"Okaaay, you filthy birds," Katherine walked over to me and gripped my arm. "Vincent and I are gonna go now, so go irritate someone else and I hope one day you eat her, Julian." She said as she began pulling me away.
"Oh, he does." Lu smirked.
"I meant cannibal style." Katherine retorted.
"Bye." I muttered as I got dragged away by Katherine.
Katherine said nothing until we got to her car, it was a white Camry. I got into the passenger's seat while she got into the driver's seat, we remained in silence for a couple seconds and then she looked at me.
"You okay?"
I nodded as I turned to look at her with a smile. "I am fantastic, actually."
"Vincent, you are literally about to cry."
"What? No." I laughed and wiped the tears before they could fall. "Something just got into my eyes is all." I sniffed.
"So much for not loving your best friend."
"Shut up, Katherine."
"I had to pull you away, because you were minutes away from blowing up into rainbows." Katherine said and I chuckled softly.
"No, I wasn't."
"Look at your palm, you clenched your fist so hard, they probably have wolverine marks on them." She said and when I checked, she was damn right.
I sighed. "Fuck."
"Wow, Julian really is an ass." Katherine chuckled.
"He's not. He's straight and I am gay, and it is okay because he can't reciprocate the feelings and I was the one who made the mistake of falling for him, I am so stupid." I sniffed.
"But he is your best friend, and he choose date night over spending time with you?"
"We were together all christmas, Lu probably misses him cause she was away and he misses her too, so it is totally fine if he chooses date night instead, I understand that, and besides we will meet up tomorrow." I shrugged.
"Oh, you poor thing. This mentality isn't right. Lu hates your guts and she will do anything to make Julian forget your ass, or push you aside."
"Julian wouldn't."
"I wouldn't put so much fate in him."
"Julian and I have known each other for more than a decade, Katherine. To him, we are like brothers, he wouldn't."
Katherine sighed. "If you say so, Vincent, if you say so."
He wouldn't.
Right?
🔷 ♠️🔷
"And we are done." I said as I closed my book. "Well, doing homework with you is fun." I said and looked up at her, she was on my bed while I stayed on the floor.
Katherine closed hers and sat up. "Mmhmm, thank God you are not dumb."
I chuckled. "Please. How the hell am I gonna get a scholarship into one of the bestest schools if I don't get good grades?"
"Bestest isn't a word." Katherine laughed.
"Who cares." I laughed along.
"So, I know I have asked this a million times, but, can you maybe finally tell me why you fell in love with Julian whatshisface?"
"Julian Decker."
"That's what I said. I mean, I get it, he's cute, hot, nice to everybody and charming, but that cannot be it, right?" She questioned as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"No," I shook my head. "It just kinda happened, I guess. I am a closeted gay male, and the only boy who I have been close to and who loves me for me and accepts me and cared about me and everything I do, turned out to be my best friend and I fell for him." I shrugged.
"Julian is just...different. He is hot, yes. Funny, super nice and cares for everybody even though he has his own problems, he goes out of his way to make others happy," I smiled. "Julian is beautiful on the inside and outside, he's everything I always thought my prince charming would be, except the straight part. I didn't think I would ever have to fall for a cis man."
"Eww." Katherine grimaced in disgust.
"Exactly. I am such a screw up."
"Yes, you are." Katherine nodded and I threw a book at her, which she caught immediately.
"You are supposed to say I am not, bitch."
Katherine laughed. "But you are." She shrugged. "I mean, I do not blame you for falling for him, it wasn't in your control anyways."
"I just wish he was gay or something," I sighed. "Not like he would look at me differently anyways, he has called me his brother more times than I can count and it makes me want to puke every single time."
Katherine laughed. "Oh, you poor thing. Not the mormon boys theme."
My eyes widen. "You watch gay porn?"
"You'd be surprised how many women do."
I ran a hand through my hair. "I love him, a lot, and it....it hurts like crazy every time I see him with that....bitch." I swallowed. "She doesn't even have his best interest at heart, but I don't know what to do, I can't be selfish and I can't have him and it fucking hurts so bad." I faked a smile. "I see him kiss her every time and I just wanna cry, the way he looks at her with so much love and...and the way he smiles at her, like she is the reason behind his happiness, it....it really hurts that I am not the one he looks at like that."
Katherine got off the bed and came to sit on the floor beside me while I quickly wiped the tears before they could fall, I was hurting, my heart was and I didn't know what to do or how to stop it.
"Hey," Katherine took my hand in hers. "From my point of view, you make him happier than she does."
I scoffed. "No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. He is happier with you, every time he sees you, his face lights up and everyone in our fucked up school knows that. Where there is Julian, fucking Vincent has to be around somewhere, and honestly it is irritating , I'm not gonna lie, but cute."
"And it hurts even more because I only do that cause I am his best friend and I cannot be anything more." I said and looked at her. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I really do want him to be happy, I am happy that he is happy, but it just....it hurts me here." I pointed at my chest. "And I shouldn't be telling you this but I don't know, I don't know why I am."
"It's because you want to talk," she shrugged. "And you are hurting. This is why I don't do love and all that shit, it will only cause you pain and nothing else, just pain, and you brought that on you."
I shrugged. "It's alright, ignore me." I chuckled. "So, I should probably start making dinner before mom comes home, so if you wanna go, that's okay." I said as I stood up.
"I would, but I do not exactly wanna go home now anyways, so, I guess I will keep your pretty ass company." She said and I smiled.
"You sure?"
"Mmhmm," she said and stretched her hand at me. "Now pull me up."
I gripped her hand and as I tried to pull her up, I realised she was indeed heavy or maybe I didn't have any strength at all cause then I fell on her.
We both screamed.
"Ow!" I cried. "Ugh, how are you so heavy?"
"You are the one suffocating me!" Katherine yelled.
"Uh, hey Vincent." The door burst open and we both looked up to see Victor. His eyes widen once he saw us on the floor and then he smirked. "Oh,"
"Wait, it is not what you..." I rapidly got off Katherine and stood up. "That is not what you think."
Katherine sat up and combed her hair with her hands before turning to Victor who still had a smirk on his face. "Hi," he said and she just puckered her brows at him.
"Oh, I should leave you both, I uh...I was gonna come tell you I was leaving for work now."
"Wait, you were home all these time?" I questioned and he nodded.
"Mmhmm, bye. Always lock the doors." He said as he shut the door behind him.
"That douchebag,"
"He's hot." Katherine said as she stood up and I scowled at her. She smirked at me while I rolled my eyes at her before dashing out of the room and after Victor.
"Shrek, wait!" I said as I ran towards him.
Victor was already heading for the door, he turned to me with a smile on his face. "You haven't brought a girl here before, I am proud of you."
"That was not what it looked like, you hebrew."
"Relax, I'm not gonna tell mom that you lost your virginity."
"Shut up." I muttered.
"I gotta go now, use a condom, if you don't have any, I have got some in my second drawer." He winked at me and looked behind me. "Bye....?"
"Katherine." Katherine said and he nodded before leaving. Once the door closed behind him, I turned to Katherine whose hands were folded, a brow cocked at me.
"You are a virgin?"
"There aren't many gay men in our town."
Katherine snorted. "What do you mean there aren't many gay men in our town? We have two gay bars in town and I literally ran into about seven gay people last week, the fuck you mean we don't have gay men here, you introverted, lonely goose."
"Shut up."
"Oh, I get it. You just want Julian's cock." She smirked.
"Ugh, don't say it like that."
"But it is the truth." Katherine smirked.
"I am ignoring you now." I said as I made my way to the kitchen. "Ignoring your entire existence."
Katherine laughed.
🔷 ♠️🔷
I walked down the stairs and to the living room, dressed in shorts, long coloured socks and a big shirt. It was quite dark in the living room because the lights were turned off, and it was something past eleven. I turned the lights on and saw mom laying on the couch, she was fast asleep and snoring lightly. I made my way towards her, a small smile on my face as I squatted in front of her.
She was over stressing herself for me, I couldn't let her keep working the way she did, I needed to help out in some way. I tucked her dark hair behind her ear and then she slowly opened her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I said and she smiled.
"Hi, baby." She said as she slowly sat up. "Oh wow, I must have just dozed off."
I nodded. "You did." I chuckled.
"Oh. You were asleep when I came in, and the food you made was really good," Mom said with a warm smile, as she patted my cheek.
"I learned from the best." I replied, and she chuckled slightly. "You should probably go up to your room and get some rest, your bed will be more comfortable."
Mom nodded. "Yeah," she sniffed. "You are right."
"And, you shouldn't be working so much, you know?"
Mom smiled at me. "I need to make sure you finish college, love. You are gonna be great in this life, and as your mom, I have to do my part."
"At least, let me help, ma."
"You just focus on your studies and make me proud, okay?" She cupped my cheeks. "And then when the time is right, you'd get married to a beautiful woman and have beautiful kids, and you would have accomplished everything you want." She said and my heart sank.
A beautiful man.
"Now, you should get some sleep, you have school tomorrow, okay?" She said as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
I nodded. "Yeah, you go ahead first." I said.
Mom nodded and got up with a grunt. "Goodnight, baby."
"Goodnight, mom." I replied as I sat on the couch she had gotten up from.
"Maybe on Saturday, we can go have ice-cream, all three of us, yeah?" She asked, a pretty smile on her face.
I chuckled. "Sure. Don't call me greedy when I ask for two."
Mom laughed as she began to head for the stairs. "Just don't tell your brother I got you two." She said while I giggled.
I watched her go up the stairs and when she vanished, my smile slowly faded.
I had to do everything to make my mother proud. She was doing so much for me and I had to pay her back for it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly took it out, it was a text from Julian.
"You awake."
It said.
I bit my fingernails, wondering if to reply to him or not.
"Yeah, why are you awake?" I asked him.
"I dunno, I just can't sleep."
He was having one of those nights again, one of those nights that had his thoughts taking over.
And so, I called him. It didn't take him long before he answered.
"Lockhart."
His voice had come off husky and boy, did my heart race when he called my name like that.
"What's wrong, Decker?"
"I really don't know, but i feel like crap."
"How long?" I asked him.
"The entire night," he chuckled sadly.
"Why?"
"I cancelled on you. Are you okay?"
I was silent for a couple of seconds before answering. "Yeaah, of course. It is totally fine, Julian."
"How was date night?"
"Didn't exactly happen, her Dad was unavailable and so we just went on a walk."
Bitch.
"Oh," I muttered. "Cool."
"I kinda feel like shit."
There was something else bothering him and I could tell in his voice.
"Do you remember that one time when we were eleven and we got locked in your basement on accident, and then I started to panic and cry."
"Yeah, you always hated closed up spaces. Pecks of being claustrophobic."
I chuckled. "And then, you held me and tried to get my mind off the fact that we were locked in your basement."
Julian laughed. "You thought a clown would pop out of somewhere and kill us."
I snickered. "And you told me you would kill the clown, not like you could have but then you made me feel safe. I knew I could trust you with protecting me even though we were just kids."
"Because we are each other's safe zone."
I remained silent for a little while.
"We are." I muttered, softly. "And then, we slept off in the basement and we got found late at night." I laughed. "And you wanna know what I realised that night?"
"What?" He asked with a chuckle.
"You were scared too, but you pretended not to be for my sake."
"I wasn't scared."
"You were. You thought no one would come, you thought you would be forgotten down there, Julian. And that is something you are still scared of to, but I need you to know this. I am not gonna leave your stupid ass, okay? And I....I love you." I swallowed. "It's you and me forever." I swallowed.
Then silence.
"Julian?"
Silence.
"Are you crying?"
"Pfft. No." He sniffed.
"It's okay to cry, Decker." I smiled.
"Shut up."