My afternoon reading was interrupted when I heard feet approaching me. I looked up, finding Thelma, Kate, Blanche, and Alma staring at me.
I leaned back, a bit startled. "Uh... hi." I stuck a bookmark in the pages and put the book down. "How'd you guys...?"
"W-we ran into each other in th-the hall," said Kate.
"Oh. Okay. Um... what're you doing here?"
"We, uh..." Thelma glanced at the others. "We heard you found out."
Oh. I nodded. "Right."
"We w-were wondering if you wanted s-some comp-pany," Kate said.
Company? I'd gotten used to being alone. The library was sort of like my sanctuary. But I couldn't say no, could I? Reluctantly, I agreed. "Yeah, sure."
They sat in the sofas around me, setting their bags down. "What are you reading?" Blanche pointed at the book on the table.
"Oh, just something I found." I showed her the cover: 'Miracle'.
"Ooh, I love that book! I read it in middle school."
"Really? This is my first read."
"It's great. Did you get to the part where-"
"Shh- don't!" I held up my hand. "Don't do that."
Blanche stopped, brows quirking. "What?"
"You're spoiling the book for her," Alma said obviously, chuckling.
"Oh. Sorry."
"She always does that. Last year, she spoiled Starrider Academy 2 for me."
"No, she didn't!" Kate exclaimed. "Are y-you serious?!"
"It was an accident!" Blanche defended.
"Guys, keep it down. We're in the library, not the cafeteria." Thelma discreetly nodded at a group of students nearby, who glanced at us with annoyance from their study table.
"Right. Sorry."
Looking at the study group, I noticed them nudging each other and whispering, glancing at me a few times. I sighed and looked away.
I could still hear them. 'Isn't she that ghost girl?' 'Oh, yeah, Amy's evil twin. She's so creepy.'
A hand waved over my eyes. I blinked, realizing I'd fallen in a trance. "You good?" Thelma asked.
I looked back at the study group. They'd returned to their books. "Um... yeah."
"Thinking about everything?"
"Sort of." I sighed. "Honestly... I don't know if I want to be here anymore."
"What do you mean?" Blanche asked.
"I'm thinking of going to online school."
"What? No!" Thelma reached over and took my hand. "We can't be besties if we don't see each other!"
"I'm thinking about it. The reason I came to school was because I wanted to find out why people were staring at me all the time. And now I know. And I wish I didn't. Everyone sees me as this horrible person."
"They don't really see you as horrible," said Alma. "They're just a little creeped out. I mean... look at it our way." She motioned to her and Blanche. "We weren't super close to Amy or anything— we maybe had a couple classes with her, but that's it. Amy was basically well-known because of her brothers being on the football team. They were always so... chaotic. Made people laugh and gossip." Alma chuckled, a bit nostalgic. "Amy was really outgoing and sweet... you know, really likeable. Then she told everyone she had cancer, and she left... and she died."
"Then you came with her brothers," Blanche finished for her. "Same eyes, same face... same everything. So... people were kind of scared to approach you. But they didn't necessarily think you were a horrible person. Like me. I didn't think that. It just freaked me out a bit."
Silence stretched out between us.
"It's like o-one of those urban l-legends, only true," Kate said, shuddering.
"What about the brothers? Are you... okay with them? Or no?" Thelma asked.
"Sort of... with Harry, I'm okay. Now that I know, I understand how hard it must've been to confess something so... personal. But with the others, we're not really talking much. And I'm too angry with their parents to talk to them." I put my head in my hands. "I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to move. But if I move, I don't-"
"Know where you'll end up," Blanche finished for me.
I stopped. "Yeah."
"It's a gamble. And if you have a bad record, most likely, it'll go down the drain." She scrunched up the hem of her shirt. "I got lucky this time, considering."
"What's the family's name again?" I asked, changing the subject. I really didn't want to talk about all the drama between me and the Fields anymore.
"The McCarthy's. Their son Stuart goes here; he's a freshman. And he's such a jerk." She crossed her legs, sitting more comfortably. "He's so arrogant. And he loves calling me stuff like 'smooth brain' or just 'stupid', stuff like that."
"Aren't you advanced in math?" Alma asked.
"Two years ahead."
"Wow, cool. Why don't you use that against him?" said Thelma.
"Oh, I do. I win every argument. But he acts like a 2-year old and comes up with some stupid insult to feel like he won."
Thelma's phone rang with an alarm. "AP Calculus class starts in 5 minutes."
"And that's our cue to leave." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dismissed the alarm. We walked out of the library together. On the way, Thelma was suddenly shoved over, nearly falling when Kate caught her arm.
"Hey, watch it!" she said.
"You watch it." A blonde turned, glaring at us. "You bumped into me." She gave Thelma a judging once-over and continued. Her friend turned her gaze on me.
I stopped.
Ivy.
She kept her piercing gaze on us for a few more seconds before turning away. Blanche cursed at her under her breath, muttering angrily.
"Who is she?" I asked.
"Ivy Ebersole. She was Amy's best friend," she explained. We continued walking. "Since she died, homegirl's been hanging out with Lisa Preston's clique."
"Honestly, I don't get why no one's talking about it," Alma said. "She's friends with the girl that made Amy's life hell. I remember they pranked her at Hannah Stinson's Halloween party. And they body-shamed her for a while— before she announced her cancer. They said she did coke."
"Wait, so... Lisa? Is she the blonde?" I asked as the duo disappeared behind the corner.
"Yup." Blanche glared in the direction the girls had gone in.
"And Ivy— A-Amy's best friend— is her f-friend now?" Kate asked.
"Ridiculous, isn't it?"
Not ridiculous. Traitorous.
~~~
September 27th, 2023
My knees bounced as I waited outside the school psychologist's office, my backpack between my knees. I wasn't meeting with the school psychologist, though; he was lending my therapist his office for this single period.
I'd gone through a few therapists... a couple were really sweet, a couple others were... okay. Most of the time, my foster family wouldn't bother to send me to therapy, so I would just have my meds.
One thing I learned was to not reveal everything all at once. My history was enough. If they reported anything too serious, it would risk me getting moved again, and right now, I wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to leave.
A woman walked down the hall carrying books and a small Bluetooth radio. "Miss Watson?"
I stood, nodding. "That's me."
"I'm Dr. Cawman." She smiled, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry I didn't get to come see you before."
"It's all good," I said.
She opened the office. "Come in, please."
Inside, a desk was against the far wall, with two comfy-looking chairs sitting in front. Large bookshelves lined the side walls. A dim, blue lamp sat on the desk, the lampshade reading, 'Nice talking to you'! The school psychologist's diploma was hung on the right wall.
Dr. Cawman put her things on the desk, moving the psychologist's name plaque aside, which read: 'Shane Arbyman, Ed.S'. "Your social workers updated me on how you've been doing with the Field family," she began, both of us sitting down. "This is your..." She opened a folder. "23rd placement, right?"
"Yeah."
She scrolled on her phone and turned on the radio. "Would you like some music? I usually put on classical. Calms the mood."
"Yeah, sure."
She played a Beethoven song and put down her phone. The melody tickled my ears, instantly relaxing me. I always loved classical music.
"How about you tell me your impression of the family?"
"Okay. Um... well... they were nice. Very nice to me," I began. "From the beginning, Susan and Davis were sweet. They gave me a room and clothes and stuff. I almost never get that kind of treatment, so I was happy, y'know?" I looked down at my lap. "But Susan told me their sons weren't that happy with fostering, so I expected them to be rude— and surprise, surprise, they were."
I told her basically the entire story; being a maid for the first month or so, deciding to go to school, the 'look' everyone gave me. Sometimes she would take notes, and sometimes she would just nod or frown, reacting to everything I said.
I was sure not to mention anything too serious, like the habits I'd resumed, or the... thoughts that sometimes occurred to me. There was enough of that in my file, for sure.
Once I got to the whole thing about me and Amy, her expressions were more animated, but calm. She must've been told the story, but hearing the full story was obviously different.
I concluded with how our relationship was the past couple weeks; distant and quiet. Harry and I had grown a bit closer, but he was pretty into himself now that his brothers weren't talking to him. Even on the bus, Tommy wouldn't say a word to him.
I also mentioned how everyone treated me so far, which was pretty much the same. I even mentioned Ivy, whom I'd realized was in both my AP Literature class and my Computer Science class, to my absolute delight.
She had been basically hiding from me in class, successfully avoiding my attention. But recently, she started to make her presence known with backhanded comments in class and writing insults in the margins of my notebooks— how she did that, I had no idea.
Dr. Cawman smiled. "A lot has happened the past two months, huh?"
"Oh, yeah," I sighed.
"So you're considering online school?"
"Mm-hmm. But I'm not sure yet. I have a Cooking class I can't take online, and I want to try out for track. And I guess I did make some friends. I think people started talking bad about them because of me, and... I hate the thought of that." I rubbed my nape.
"Well, if they're sticking with you, taking all of it for you, it means that you're so precious to them that they'd never give you up as a friend. Obviously, you're easy to like."
I blushed, flattered. "Thanks."
The bell rang, ending the school day. "I lost track of time," Dr. Cawman chuckled. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Diana, and talking to you." She stood, gathering her things.
As we exited, she turned to me. "Some advice— while you have all these friends, make sure to spend time with them. Friends that loyal are a treasure. And..." She opened the door. "Try to talk to your foster family. The best way to overcome what happened is if you communicate with them. If you're living with them, the most you can do is try to connect with them."
I took a moment to mull over her words. "I'll try. Thank you, Dr. Cawman."
"I'll see you next Wednesday, Diana."
Thoughts on Ivy? Diana's friends? Dr. Cawman?