//WARNING: ANGST, mentions of injury, abuse in both ways, murder, Heavy depression, Anxeity and going through grief from the readers point. Mentions of manipulation and fear.. I think I got all of it-//
Y/N was in recovery of the explosion, the blast almost killed his ear drums, making them ring and made his head pound like a drum. He was more concerned for his friends. Y/N got up from his spot he landed in and groaned. That blast really did a number on him. His arm was broken from the fall, his knees were scraped and heavily bruised but worst of all his back fell out of place, he did fall from 10 feet in the air from the blast landing him on his back to his side. He got up slowly feeling everything ache and went to aid Nikki, she was stuck under building parts that fell on her, Hearing TNT go off was still going, tommys screams could be heard as everyone tried to find everyone. This was it, the day L'Manberg fell again under a bad dream. Y/N coughed blood as he helped nikki. Tubbo came and helped out too, grabbing nikki and asking if Y/N was alright. Y/N couldn't hear tubbo well but gave a thumbs up even though he needed to sit down if not, there was a chance of him either passing out from blood loss or dying from stupidity.
As tubbo took nikki, y/n looked for will, the man that was once leader, a friend, a son and a lover to people. Mostly Y/N. as he walked looking around and helping whoever was in his path, he searched for will however a sword was heard in a distance, Y/N looked up to see the hole that was the place of the button where the TNT was ignited. Stood Wilbur and Philza in the hole, seeing Wilbur get stabbed by his father. Y/N watched as that happened, feeling the adrenaline forgetting he was bleeding and injured as he ran up to Philza and Wilbur.
Tears flowed but he couldn't feel them. He had his way but seeing Philza grief taking the sword out of wilbur and holding him close, whispering that he was sorry and that he loved his son. Y/N breath was out of place and he felt dizzy walking over to the two, he hugged philza and comforted the now hurt father. Passing out in the process from blood loss.
It's been a year since that day. Everything seemed to go back to normal, the buildings in l'manberg where being rebuilt, Tubbo was president with Tommy as his right hand man, and not only that but a certain ghost now haunts the lower parts of the sewer system and lives in his small windmill in L'Manberg.
Y/N visits the windmill from time to time but not enough to catch the ghost. Y/N didn't exactly believe in ghosts. Sure zombies and skeletons lived amongst them in the shadows but ghosts seemed silly to him, so he didn't really believe tubbo when he explained that "Ghostbur" existed. As y/n gets to the bakery, nikki was out for vacation for a while so Y/N was in charge of everything and that's fine. He enjoyed the bakery, hardly anyone comes because they always carry food on them and not only that but business is always this small. Y/N took off his coat and put in an apron and started making bread. He made dough that looked like a lot but it was only 3 weeks of bread. He had much more coming. After hours upon hours of the smell of sweet dough and flour everywhere the breads were in the oven. Y/N exhaled as he started to clean up his mess. The sun was setting from the window view, he watched it go down, such a beautiful sight.
memories flooded y/n all at once just by making bread. The man couldn't catch a break with all the happy memories. He was stuck in denial. This time it was about him and Wilbur enjoying the sunset on the hill. He and he sat smiling and laughing. It was a happy memory, it was the day Y/N fell for wilbur. Y/N couldn't help but feel tears run down his cheek as the memory crashed with a flash of blood in his hands as he saw Wilbur get stabbed by his father. He never got the chance to tell Wilbur goodbye, not only that but he was crushed. Wilbur lied about being together forever.
He never got the chance to do any of those things they wanted and promised one other because he was afraid to ever confront the "ghost" or even speak to him. Afraid of getting angry at the "ghost" and not only that but wilbur was a mad man. rumor said he was nice now but deep down Y/N knew just because he is friendly now doesn't mean that he isn't the same. Wilbur will always be Wilbur. tears fell from y/n eyes as the thoughts of him and Wilbur were flooding his brain. He went crazy after being exiled. At least that's what Tommy told Y/N. At first, Y/N didn't believe tommy on what he ment, denying that was will until he went to sneak and see wilbur and tommy then he saw when will made his speech to tommy that he was gonna blow up L'Manberg. Tommy explained everything Wilbur had done.
He blew up l'manberg. He knew that already since he was there, Tommy said he was just a jerk. Then after recovery Tommy said Wilbur is officially dead. It wasn't a dream, Y/N never felt so bad for crying onto Tommy's shoulder and screamed at the top of his lungs. Tommy still comforted Y/N as he also grieved with him, he explained more about what's current.
The "Ghost" lost his memories and only remembers the happy ones. He's an oblivious happy ghost that gives people things and tells stories. Y/N couldn't help but smile but the tears still flowed. Unfortunately Y/N wasn't exiled; so you could imagine why he didn't believe Tommy at first. Y/N got up after the timer turned off, wiping his face and washing his hands. He got the bread from the ovens and placed them on their shelves then made another batch. He went out of the baking area and started sending his delivery boy, Ranboo, he was a new boy he wondered to L'Manberg but he didn't know if he wanted to stay in. he was very indecisive but he did work for nikki and Y/N in the bakery service. Filling up his bag and sending him off to make his deliveries, Y/N went back and started making fresh cookies and cinnamon bread. Then more thoughts and memories accord.
He was imprisoned by jschlatt. Y/N felt tears trying to get out thinking about it more, the yelling he constantly did, the verbal abuse, throwing stuff at y/n and on top of that Schlatt using him as a punching/therapy bag. it was an awful time. Y/N never ever held grudges against people but Schlatt, was the person who Y/N despised the most. Of course Schlatt wasn't the person to always bully Y/N besides the verbal and throwing conflict, Schlatt was busy being his Lawful evil person. It wasn't the best. Schlatt only found out by fundy. Fundy didn't want to tell but he did anyway making Y/N develop trust issues from ever talking to fundy. Fundy explained to Schlatt that Y/N was Wilburs Lover and just out of spite to make sure Wilbur, not even Tommy, stepped in L'Manberg he would harm him.
Thinking about it more made Y/N feel upset, breaking his rolling pin. He looked down seeing he broke the handle. Seeing wood dust and chips inside the dough as well. He exhaled.
"Damn. sorry rolling pin, you didn't deserve that." Y/N sighed as he threw it away, along with the dough. It wasnt usable anymore. He sighed writing it down and grabbed another rolling pin. After another couple of hours, Y/N had a break from baking and sat at the table the bakery had and drank warm coffee, he needed it after his mind was messing with him.
Then again it was his own fault, after so much, he refused to talk about his feelings to anyone. Eventually becoming numb and not caring so much what happens to him.
Nikki tried to get him to do therapy but Y/N never did. He didn't even try to make an effort. He just wanted to keep everything in because that's all he could do. He was afraid of what to say and not only that but his mind wouldn't let him speak to anybody about coping. He refused any help about his emotions because the only one who truly listened was the one who he needed most, but unfortunately he never came.
A loud bell went off signalling that his break was over. Y/N wiped his tears that he didn't know were there. It was a long night but Y/N managed. He got out of the apron, placed back on his coat and locked the bakery up and waved Ranboo a good bye and paying him for his hard work then walked back home. As he continued to walk he felt that there were eyes on him. They felt oddly comfy however it was frightening that he felt eyes on him this late at night. Then he remembered the only person or ghost that was active late at night.
"Wilbur... please just come talk to me, staring at me makes it worse bc then I get all crept out." Y/N chuckled as he turned around to see the smiling ghost hiding, his appearance changed, Now he was in a yellow sweater that looked like the warming sun, however the rip in the sweater where Phil stabbed him was there. He didn't look like a homeless bum from the time Philza stabbed him. Y/N was honestly shaking seeing him again. He wanted to hug him, yell, anything and everything. He didn't know how to feel so for now he just stayed calm as best as he could and let the ghost do what he does. Do all ghosts remember how they died? Y/N asked himself as he felt more tears flow looking at wilbur, Y/N couldn't believe tubbo was right. He's a ghost. How long did Y/N stay there?
"Hey y/n!" The ghost said sweetly. He placed his feet on the floor and walked to Y/N with a bright smile, he looked so innocent and cute. It was almost like he wasn't a complete psycho. Y/N shook the feeling as he smiled as well, trying to get rid of the tears and shakiness from seeing Wilbur.
"hello wilbur. You look lovely tonight" Y/N said as he continued to turn the way he was walking home, The dirt crunched and cracked almost like rain hitting the pavement. Wilbur blushed at the compliment, seeing that Y/N eyes were red and puffy, he wanted to ask but he stayed silent and started to fidget with his hands.
" Are you ok?" Y/N asked as the ghost continued to smile brightly and nod. It was a comfortable silence walking to the house. Once they got there, Y/N turned his key and opened the door, letting Ghostbur go in first and then himself. Ghostbur sits on the couch, it sinked like he was actually there. It made Y/N question and puzzled, isn't he dead? A voice said in Y/N head.
"Ok so you are dead right?" Y/N Bluntly asked, realizing what he just blurted out as he takes off his hoodie and throws it in a corner. He gulped looking at Ghostbur who was still smiling and cheerful.
"Of course I am, love! There's nothing beating and I'm always cold." He said brightly making Y/N feel awkward and now uncomfy. 'love' that word was now the only thing repeating in his head as he took a deep breath. He hadn't heard that in a while. Does Ghostbur even remember being with y/n? Was he happy? That made y/n feel awful he shakes his Head feeling more uncomfortable than ever before.
"Sorry." Y/N cleared his throat before going into his room to grab something. It was for a moment that turned to a long time, his door was open but Ghostbur didn't bother, instead Ghostbur looked around the small house. It was messy. Papers everywhere, clothes in different corners of the room, the smell of fresh bread and faint cigarettes? It was a weird but comfortable scent in the house. Out of habit Ghostbur wanted to try and clean up the place, he really didn't like the mess. After it was somewhat clean, Y/N got out of his room, realising he had his dead boyfriend over, he sighed as he stopped the ghost from cleaning, Y/N gasped a bit from the cold skin that he touched. Ghostbur looked up at Y/N with confusion before y/n touched his arm against his hand. Honestly y/n expected to phase through him, and Now y/n was fascinated yet oddly confused. He kept squeezing his arm to his hand, it was weird.
"You say you're a ghost right? How come I can touch you?" Y/N started to fondle with Ghostbur fingers, he was really interested. ghostburs face tinted red and looked the other way.
"W-well you see y/n I'm not like other ghost! In fact, I'm kinda a lame ghost to be honest. I melt in the rain, I don't really fly. I just float when my legs give out walking. In the day you can phase through me but at night you can touch me! Does that make sense?" Ghostbur asked using his fingers like tally marks, looking at y/n confused and excited. Y/N nodded as he lifted up Ghostbur sleeve a bit, feeling his cold grey skin in his hand, no matter how much he kept playing with ghostburs hand to his arm he was still cold, he didn't warm up. he pulled down Ghostbur sleeve, for some reason he just wanted to keep touching Ghostbur, he craved touch. Y/N never wanted to admit it but he really missed Wilburs touch. When he realized he was still fondling with Ghostburs hand to his palm. He let go as a red tint was visible,
"sorry. I got lost in my head for a second, hopefully that wasn't uncomfortable for you." Y/N said as he saw that Ghostbur cleaned everything. He was just picking up the picture frame that was broken. Y/N took it and saw it was of him and Wilbur. He felt his breath hitched and felt tears try and peak out. Did he throw this? No he couldn't have. Did he?
"It's clean!" Wilbur said with glee as he placed the clothes in the wash and came back to see the picture frame Y/N was holding. "Oh that fell when I was cleaning, I accidentally tripped and lucky that was the only thing that fell from the wall. Sorry!" Ghostbur said with a hint of sadness in his voice, well that cleared Y/N from a mental breakdown. Y/N sighed as he placed it down on his coffee table. He can fix it later, he looked around his house, it was all organized and spotless. He wasn't gone that long in his room was he? He shaked his head as he sat on his couch. Y/N looked at Ghostbur, he was throwing stuff away in the trash. Y/N took a deep breath and wiped his eyes from any tears that fell. Out of all the days, why did That ghost of his dead boyfriend have to show up?
He came back from the kitchen and sat next to y/n, he placed his head on his lap. Y/N was confused.
"....you good?" Y/N chuckled as Ghostbur nodded. "I'm fine, can you play with my hair please?" He asked kindly. Y/N exhaled and started to play with Ghostburs brown locks. They stayed like that in silence as the music in the background was calming. Y/N started to hum the L'manberg song that was finished. Will looked up at Y/N and smiled.
"How do you know that song?" Ghostbur asked.
"Because I'm one of the people who helped you make it." Y/N said as he kept playing with Ghostburs hair.
"Me and You were in the van watching tubbos and tommy be children, I started to hum the tune, and you started singing words. As L'Manberg grew and we had our first war with dream and eret betrayed us ...." Y/N took a deep breath
"you put more parts in it. I helped you with some lines and tuning and you made me sing it before sharing with everyone else.. Do you remember what you said? When I asked you how was it?" Y/N gulped, not looking at will as he kept playing with Ghostburs hair.
"I said... I said that you helped me finish my unfinished sympathy... and I cannot wait to see it finished as well." Ghostbur said as he smiled. Y/N hummed as he kept messing with wilburs hair. Eventually they started to share happy memories that Ghostbur remembered. Y/N found out Wilbur wanted to be called Ghostbur but he rather have Y/N say wilbur for reasons he didn't say, Y/N wanted to know why he made a difference but didn't ask. As they kept talking Y/N would sometimes bring up other stories he tried to remember with Ghostbur that Wilbur had to take a second to recall, y/n didn't bring up anything about their relationship. It was a hard topic to think about. After giggling and laughing at each other mostly wilburs memories.
"A favorite memory of mine is the first time you asked me to be yours Y/N. It was one of the happiest days of my life. And honestly I'd like to say that even in death it still is. Do you remember?" Wilbur looked at Y/N. Y/N felt his heart ache, he stopped playing with wilburs hair, his breathing started to unsettle and unravel, tears threatened to fall, wilbur sat up and grabbed Y/N face and tried to wipe the tears. "Are you ok?" Wilbur asked and that's when Y/N lost it. Tears fell even harder and his body shaked.
"You... you left me... you broke our promise.. you told me we would do so much together but you're dead! You left me, you left me" Y/N cried out in wilburs touch, y/n held his hands that held his face. He cried as wilbur pulled him in a hug, wilbur sat there rubbing circles on y/n back as he cried.
"You said I was everything to you. Where were you when he imprisoned me?! Where were you when I needed you most! You told me that I was your everything yet you gave up and left me! You said you loved me but it didn't feel like it. You told me.... You told me everything yet... you. You left me. You left me" y/n screamed in the creak of ghostburs neck, Y/N pounded his chest, it would've hurt if he was alive but it didn't hurt. The pounding was now mild until he just stopped and cried. Y/N lowered his hands to know hold Ghostburs waist. Ghostbur kept rubbing circles on his back as he hummed. Y/N continued to cry as he held Ghostbur. After a while he stopped crying for a bit, now just sniffling and hiccups. "I'm sorry for hitting your chest.." Y/N let a deep breath out as he lifted his head to look at the dead man. Y/N straddled on gjostbur cleaning his teary face. Ghostbur looked at Y/n with sorry eyes as he moved Y/N hands from his face and used his cold hands to clean off Y/N teary face. The tears still flowed, he was Hurt and Wilbur knew that and felt bad.
"I'm sorry, I don't remember the awful things they did to you. I wish I can recall what was alivebur did, that made you not like me.. all I can remember are the happy moments. And that promise I made you I still keep with me, yes I may not be alive anymore but we can do everything together!" Wilbur smiled as he held y/n hands. Y/N had a small smile pull on his lips and nodded. He knew it wouldn't be the same sense he is dead but it was better than nothing. Then his chest started to hurt. But does he still love you? Does he still feel the same? The voices in y/n asked as he felt the tears from back. " Do you still love me? Am I still meaningful to you..?" Y/N asked Wilbur as tears started flowing again, Wilbur sat up more straight then before, still having y/n on his lap as he wiped his tears. "Of course I do love. I love you very much. You made fundys childhood better! You taught me things I didn't know! You did so much for me! You are the biggest part of my happiness. Losing you... I... I don't know where I'd be... and in all Honesty, I think that alive-bur made the decision to put an end to him because he was broken and knew that it wouldn't be the same if he was with you. Sure he loved you dearly but he was broken and unfixable that,that he didn't want to break you anymore than that other awful man had done to you." Ghostbur said, wiping the tears off Y/N face as he hiccuped and less tears fell. He felt a lot better with that answer. He held Wilburs wrists softly, then He and Wilbur had a very long hug Together. The sun was rising. Y/N looked to see the ghost start to go transparent.
Seeing the sun had come up Wilbur changed into his ghost self, He had his adorable smile, Y/n went to tuck his loose hairs in but sadly he phased through him. Damn, that means he can only touch him at night. There goes his sleep schedule. Actually his sleep in general. Ghostbur saw what he was doing and tucked his hair between his ears.
"So what are we doing this fine morning?" Ghostbur asked as Y/N was changing into work clothes, Wilbur looked away feeling embarrassed.
"I have to go to work wilbur." Y/N said softly, his voice was giving out, his crying sesion he and Ghostbur had made his voice want to die as he was getting pants on.
Ghostbur looked back to see scars on Y/N back. He went up to y/n and touched his back, y/n jumped a bit from the sudden chill that he felt on his skin.
"Sorry I forgot to mention that I can touch you but you can't touch me haha." Wilbur chuckled as his face turned back to concern. He touched the scars that traced y/n back.
"He did this to you..?" Wilbur asked. Y/N looked at wilbur and sighed. He placed a shirt on and looked at wilbur. "There battle scars well on some of them." Y/N placed a scarf on and a jacket. He started to walk outside with Wilbur, they walked to the Bakery and chatted about their adventures. Y/N saw he was writing stuff that happened last night. Y/N asked why and found out that Wilbur couldn't remember the bad stuff or past things he sorta did that was bad for him and he felt that last night was important and didn't want to forget. They got in the Bakery and the smell of fresh bread filled the air.
As the day went by, Wilbur went away to grab blue. It was crystals that took sadness away and it worked nicely from what Wilbur said to Y/N. When lunch break happened, Y/N was eating toast and some greenTea. Wilbur came back and gave a pretty light blue crystal to Y/N, Y/N held it and he felt herself feeling better, like his trauma just went away but didn't. He chuckled at how a crystal made him feel happy. The crystal started to change to a darker shade of blue, wilbur looked at the crystal with wide eyes.
"I've never seen it go that fast. Love, are you sad all the time?" wilbur asked with worry. y/N looked up at him then the now blue crystal turned to a darker blue.
"I Guess so, I don't really know. I just feel numb most of the time." Y/N answered honestly.
"Hmm. Well I'm here now so tell me everything" Wilbur said bluntly making y/n feel uneasy, Wilbur noticed that and felt even more worried. What did they do to you? Was all he could think about in his head as Y/N chuckled.
"Sorry, um... that's a lot of ground we can cover in different times.. But for now... it's best if i just say, i'm not one with happy thoughts all the time will." as the loud ring went off again, Y/N got back to work.
As Dawn came, Y/N finished off the last delivery to ranboo and his payment then locked the bakery and headed home with Wilbur. He was slowly turning back to "Zombie state" as Y/N wanted to call it basically, the thought of that made him chuckle a bit. Ghostbur held Y/N hand as they walked home together. Wanting nothing else but the comfortable silence and each other.
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// Yo, first chapter, let's go this is probably shit and I'm sorry//
//edited: Thank you all for the nice comments :D honestly when I first posted I had really major doubts about doing this. Even horrible overthinking but after 10 chapters I realized people enjoy it(^-^) thank you for the comments again^^ also im revamping/editing stuff bc errors i gotta fix so thats dope//