‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
I dreamed of strange things in that world between waking and sleeping.
I dreamt of a boy, shrouded in darkness. He was drowning in it, the tendrils of shadows were wrapping around him like an embrace, a suffocating embrace. One tendril wrapped around his neck, the other his chin, forcing him to look up at me. His eyes were full of anguish, it was all I could see of him, everything else was covered with shadows.
I reached out a hand to him, trying to help, but no matter how close I got, I couldn't reach him. All I could do was watch as he suffered.
I slammed into the waking world with a start. Usually, I'd take some time to awaken, stretch and yawn and slowly let my eyes open...but not this time. Now, my eyes flew open and I sat up immediately, reaching for my knife, only to find it wasn't at my hip. Nothing was at my hip. I looked down to see I wasn't in what I could last remember wearing. My tunic and pants were gone, replaced with a simple white shift that went down to my knees.
I looked around, clutching my blanket to my chest. I was in a bed in a place I did not recognize. The walls were wood, simple, bare. There were no paintings, no furnishings. Nothing. Not even a window. Beds were around me, simple small white beds. No one occupied any of them.
I looked around to see that my bag was on the ground at the foot of my bed, I lunged for it and zipped it open like a madwoman. Everything was still there, nothing was taken. Even the dagger I had at the bottom was still there, along with the food from Gretchens.
"Don't worry, I made sure no one stool your biscuits," a voice said to my right. I whipped to the side to see a boy who couldn't have been much older than me walking into the room. He was thin, a little on the shorter side, with sandy blonde hair and large brown eyes covered with thin wire glasses. He was wearing a simple blue tunic and pants and had a mug in his hand along with a bundle of what looked like gauze.
"Where am I?" I asked, pressing the comforter tight around me. My hand was still inches from the dagger, if he tried anything I could easily thrust my dagger into his stomach. Damn, my thoughts were dark.
"You're in a holding room," he said.
"A holding room?" I asked, my brows lifting. He pulled the seat down from the edge of my bed and brought it close to me. He plopped down onto it and set the mug down on the little stand next to me.
"Yeah, it's where we keep people whose papers need to be checked to validate that they're suitable to join the army. It's rare, but if they need to stay overnight, this is where they do it," He had a kind face and looked gentle. His face was more human than the others I had seen, though I could still see those pointed tips to his ears and the features that simply were too extreme for a mortal. Like high cheekbones and sharp edges and planes.
"And who are you?" I asked, inching away from him. He was beginning to undo the strap of gauze.
"I'm Lason," he said. "I'm a novice medic for the army. They sent me to you because all the other medics were busy. I know right, lucky me." He gave me a flat expression. "Now, do you want to explain what you're doing passing out in the middle of registration rooms?"
"I...I don't know," I said. "I thought I was fine-"
"Really?" he asked. "Because you were sweating bullets when you came in, running a low grade fever though it didn't look low grade. Does your body temperature run low?" I nodded. He rubbed a hand along his jaw. "You had traces of goblin poison in your bloodstream. You had a reaction to it. I was able to draw it out by draining a considerable amount of blood with no harm done. As long as you drink this tea I got you and rewrap your bandages, you should be good to go."
"Goblin poisoning?" I asked. Then I remembered that terrible initial burning I had experienced when the little shit raked his nails into me. Poison.
"Yup. What were you doing in the forest?" he asked. "That's where all the goblins dwell."
"I was uh..." I scratched at the back of my neck. "Looking for a squirrel. The little rodent stole my necklace and I wanted it back."
"A squirrel stole your necklace?" he asked, raising a brow at me.
"Yes," I said, praying he didn't see through it. I wasn't an awful liar, Dimitri had taught me a couple of tricks of how to lie without getting caught before I left. I prayed they were working.
"And did you get it back?" He asked, it looked like he was fighting a smile.
I gestured to the bloody wrap on my arm. "Obviously not. What a waste." He chuckled, leaning forward.
"Your blood is blue." He said, eyeing the wrap. "Is that...normal for you?"
"Yes," I said. "My...my whole family's blood color is blue, it's a trait that goes back for generations." I said. Lies were spewing off of my tongue faster than I could manage. I prayed that that was a possibility, that fae actually had different blood colors.
"That makes sense," he said, finishing undoing the gauze. I let out a little sigh of relief. "Now, give me your arm, I need to wrap up your wound again."
I hesitated. "I don't even know you."
"Would you like me to grab my medical license while you bleed out slowly?" he asked. I rolled my eyes before schooching forward and offering him my arm. He undid the old wrappings and then added the new ones after wiping it down with something that smelt strongly of alcohol.
"It doesn't hurt," I said, watching as he wrapped the white cloth around and around the thin muscle of my arm.
"I used a numbing powder in the ointment I spread over it, it was a strong dose, should last a couple days." he said. His fingers were precise and steady as he gently snipped the bandage with a pair of scissors he had attached to his belt. He actually had an array of other medical tools attached to his belt.
"You're like a walking doctors office," I commented.
"Ah, finally someone appreciates it," he said, tying off the wrap and letting go of me. His hands were awfully warm against my skin, but then again everything was. "Everyone thinks it's strange, but I just call it being prepared. Being such a young medic, people are always doubting me. I thought having everything I needed at arms reach would leave less room for error."
"Smart," I said.
"Drink this," he said, grabbing the tea from the stand and handing it to me. It warmed my frigid fingers. "It's going to help speed up the recovery process, form new red blood cells and all that jazz." I nodded, taking a preemptive sniff before deeming that it was unpoisoned. Or at least I hoped so. I took a sip and tasted peppermint. Yum.
"Now, what's your name?" he asked, whipping out a pad and paper. I glanced up at him. I had yet to say my name in Hiraeth yet, but once it was out there was no taking it back. Elda told me it was safe but I still hesitated.
"Eira," I said finally. "My name's Eira."
"Air-uh," he repeated, writing it down in his little notepad. "Right, well, there's clothes in the dresser next to you that you should change into. And that office-" He pointed to a door at the far end of the room. "Is where you should go once you're ready. The boss wants to see you to get things smoothed out."
"What do you mean smoothed out?" I asked. Fear sent my heart into a frenzy as I wondered whether they had figured out what I was doing and why I was really here.
"You did want to become a soldier, didn't you?" he asked. I nodded again. "Then you should just bring your paperwork with you when you see him. He'll get you situated faster than those people you were initially supposed to work with would." He gave me a brief wave before turning on his heel and walking with brisk steps towards the door. Wow this boy was all about getting things done fast and simple.
"Wait!" I called out. Lason turned, his brown eyes skittering over me. Surprisingly, he hadn't spared my exposed shoulders or neck one glance, he was certainly a gentleman. Or he simply didn't care. Either way, I was grateful. "I wanted to say thank you. For taking care of me."
"You don't need to thank me." he said, pushing his glasses up with his knuckle. "It's my job."
"Well, thank you anyway. You could've stapled me together and told me to go on my merry way." His brow furrowed, as if he was actually confused.
"That's rather cruel."
"Right," I said, nodding awkwardly. He really had no conversational skills. "Thank you though, really, I'm grateful."
"Very well, then. You're welcome." He gave me a sharp nod before turning around again and leaving me alone. I glanced around the once again silent room, fighting off a shiver as it worked its way down my spine. My eyes shifted over to the door that had a windowpane of frosted glass so that I could see nothing but shadows behind it. I could do this. I could do this.
I rose slowly, testing for aching muscles, but surprisingly I found none. I marvelled at the feeling. I brushed the back of my thigh only to find that there was no cut. I moved back the hem of my shift to see that the skin there was completely healed. Right, fae healing. I had that now. I fought back a giddy laugh.
I opened up the drawer and pulled out what was there for me. Soft pants and a woolen tunic that would keep me warm from the chill of the air. Not that I really needed it. I pulled them on, conscious of all the entry points, should anyone walk in while I was exposed. But, the gods were kind, and no one did. Once I was dressed I tied my hair into a long braid and pulled it over my shoulder. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get used to the white locks.
I swung the strap of my bag over my shoulder and took cautious steps towards the Captains office, aware that my weight was making every step on the floorboards creak. I got to the door, peering inside, but the glass limited my vision. I was forced to knock. There was the sound of wood creaking and then the door unlocked and swung open. I was met with the face of a harsh looking older man.
"Eira, is it?" he asked, raising a dark brow. He had an intimidating face, so full of intense features that he had no room for anything warm or comforting. He was tall, with locks of greasy, dark brown hair. The bare skin exposed to me was covered in a collection of scars, marring his copper skin.
"Yes sir," I said, willing my voice not to shake.
"Sit," he said, leaving the door open and walking into his office. It was a basic room, not too big or flashy. It was filled with simple, basic colors like the sitting room, with nothing more than a bookshelf, wooden desk, and two chairs for guests.
"Thank you for seeing me," I said, perched on down end of the seat. I sat on the edge because I wanted to be able to spring up if I needed to. Elda hadn't taught me that one, I had learnt that from years in Rame. Never get too comfortable, there's always someone looking to stab you in the back once you've turned away.
"Well, I didn't have much of a choice. Our registration officers are out for today since its a holiday-"
"What holiday?" I asked, before I could think better of it. I cursed my slippery tongue.
"The Princess's birthday," he said, eyeing me through short lashes. Right, Princess Freya, King Gabriel's daughter. Elda had told me about that Hiraeth-celebrated holiday, but I had forgotten it.
"Oh right," I said, perking up, offering him a smile to ease away the suspicion. "I...I wasn't sure how long I had been out for." I scratched the back of my head, as if feeling for a bump. There wasn't one, but this man didn't need to know that.
"Okay then." he said, his brows furrowing. "You want to become a soldier in the Kings army?" He pulled out a folder and a pen that looked dwarfed in his large hands.
"Yes sir," I said. "I have my entire life." What a far cry from the truth.
"And what made you decide to do it now?" he asked.
We had rehearsed this part. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. "I didn't feel ready before. I thought I wasn't old enough or prepared enough. I am now."
"Girl, do you know what you have to do to become a soldier?" He asked, letting out a mocking chuckle. I felt ice flare in my core and I had to clench my hands together in my lap to keep my frost from escaping. I tried my hardest, but I felt the temperature in the room drop a couple degrees. The Captain stiffened from the cold. Goosebumps rose on the skin above his collar.
"I'm ready for it," I said, setting my jaw and squaring my shoulders. I'm ready to end your half-fae murdering ass.
"Alright," he said, grinning down at his papers as if he was in on some secret joke. "Can I have your records of authorization?" He held out a hand and I fumbled with my bag. I unzipped it quickly and pulled out the folder that had every legal document one would ever need to survive in Hiraeth. All forged, of course.
The Captain grabbed it from me and sifted through the documents. I felt nervousness stir inside me, waiting in anticipation to see if he had noticed anything amiss, but when he didn't stop or question me at all, I let out a sigh of relief.
"Everything seems to be in order. I just need you to sign this form." He pulled a creamy, thick colored paper out of a drawer and slid it to me. He then handed me a pen, letting it slide down the table towards me. I had to catch it before it dropped to the floor.
"What is this?" I asked, my eyes scanning the page. It was in formal writing and the actual message was hard to make out. It kept talking about agreements and consent.
"It's an agreement form saying that if anything happens to you, injury, illness, or death, that you agree that the army is not at fault and you cannot sue or create a court case against us. Of course, if any of those things do happen, the army will fund your recovery, but you can't hold the army to fault." I felt my mouth go dry and I swallowed against the feeling. The paper trembled in my hand. Could those things really happen to me here? I couldn't believe how anticlimactic it would be if I got all this way only to die of some disease I contracted in the barracks.
"I sign it?" I asked, my voice coming out a little wobbly.
"Yes, along the dashed line." I looked down to see it nearly glowing at me.
"But I don't want to become a fighting soldier, I think I'd be much better accustomed to shining armor or being a nurse," I said. I hated how he looked at me then. Nodding in agreement as if he couldn't believe me becoming a soldier. It made me want to throw down that damn paper and take up a sword. Granted, I had never even held a sword before...but that was besides the point.
"Well, regardless, you'll have to sign the paper," he said, "It doesn't matter if your stitching the gods damned night clothes. You're still susceptible to injury, illness, or death." He did have a point, and it made sense that the army wouldn't want to have to pay for everything that went wrong concerning a soldier. They must have faced a lot of death if they wanted their soldiers to sign acknowledgment agreement papers.
"Fine," I said. The Captain simply grinned at me. I grabbed the pen and brought the tip down to the line. Ink was already bleeding out of the tip, blotting the paper. Cursing under my breath, I quickly signed my name. Eira Gellert, in big swirling letter. My signature was a way I got to show off my calligraphy skills.
"Remember, you're allowed to drop out at any time, but that action is commonly regarded as weak and you'll be remembered as a coward," the Captain said, pulling that paper away from me and waving it slightly to dry the ink.
"Noted," I said, nodding sharply.
"Not to mention you'll have a fine to pay." Elda has given me money for that. "And you'll be required to do a one month bootcamp initiation process before acquiring any job." He said the last part so quickly and simply that I almost hadn't realized how much weight was associated with that sentence.
"Wait what?" I asked, gaping at him.
"Oh right, you're new," he said, sighing heavily. "All parties looking to acquire any job in the army must go through a bootcamp which tests physical and mental capabilities before they're deemed adequate and given a job."
"But...but that doesn't make sense," I said. "What if I just want to sew the gods-damned night clothes?" I couldn't do a bootcamp. That was ludicrous. I had had no training in the past, I was alright with a dagger but that was about it. Sure, I had advanced fae strength and speed, but so did everyone else. I was nothing special. I was so screwed.
"The boot camp just helps us weed out the weaklings. Everyone who serves in this army, under our gracious king, must be capable and strong. We have one of the highest killstreaks of any army in the five continents and we will not be giving up that title anytime soon." I felt my stomach turn leaded and a cold chill run down my spine. Disgust stirred in my stomach at the pride in his tone.
"We can't have any weak links, even the people that make the clothes need to have an iron will. Lest we want to tarnish our reputation. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" he practically purred at me. I clenched my hands again, this time burying them under my legs. I wanted to create a little blizzard around me just to white out his face. I was sick of seeing him.
"No, not at all," I managed to grit out.
"Alright then. Wonderful. I'll send for someone to show you to where you'll be staying, you've come at a good time, bootcamp for the new recruits has yet to start, so everyone else is fresh faced as well. You'll fit right in." He offered me a grim smile that had my insides twisting. "Now move along." He flicked his brow towards the door and I stood. I resisted the urge to give him the sight of my tallest finger before yanking the door open and leaving.
Oh, I was so not going to fit in here.
I had been sitting on my bed, pondering if I should've just left the damn room and go exploring for myself, when a door opened at the end of the room. A woman walked in, probably only a couple years older than me. She had golden blonde hair and tan skin and long lashes that brushed her eyebrows. She looked to be beautiful in a way that she didn't try to be. It just came naturally. She was tall and had long limbs coiled with muscle. She looked like everything a warrior fae should've been.
"You're Eira?" Her tone was kind, genuine, but her voice was sharp, honed like a knife edge. I wondered how far her voice could be heard when she was screaming in battle, because she was certainly a soldier based on how many weapons she had on her. I wanted the holsters she had strapped to her pants. They looked so badass.
"Yes ma'am," I said, standing and clasping my hands together. The woman was tall, at least in the six's when it came to feet. She towered over me slightly as she reached in to shake my hand.
"Wow, cold hands," she remarked, giving my hand another shake before dropping it. I tried not to let out a hysterical giggle. "And please, you don't have to call me 'ma'am' or anything. You make me sound really old. I'm Helen, I'm a Lieutenant here."
"Wow a Lieutenant," I said."Why are they making you show around a novice then?"
"Because I enjoy it," she said, starting to walk off towards the door she slipped through. She beckoned for me to follow. "And because I'm one of the people who knows the camp the best. Not to mention I will also be overseeing some of your initiation."
"Really?" I asked.
"Well, some of it. I'll be busy most of the time, but I'll always try to drop by when I can." She shot me a wink. "I like the hair, did you dye it?"
"Oh, no, it's...natural," I said, looking away so that she wouldn't see the lie in my eyes. Well, it technically was natural now that it was on me. But it didn't come naturally, unless you counted witch magic as natural.
"Well its cool, you're giving me snow queen vibes." She chuckled and I forced a laugh out myself. If only she knew how close she was to the actual truth.
We slipped out of the waiting room and I was immediately met with fresh air. I tried not to greedily suck it down. The world around me was a sort of depressing gray and brown color. The base was large, surrounded by towering walls that kept it away from prying eyes, save for a mass of forest at the north side of the base. There were watchtowers at all corners, making the hair rise on the back of my neck as I was reminded that we were being watched at all times.
It was like a little civilization in there. There were places where someone could buy a drink, repair their armor, get a new sword. Women and men were bustling around carrying loads of flour or racks of uniforms. It sort of reminded me of my village back in Rame, where everyone did their own business and stuck to a routine that kept the village upright. Except these people had pointed ears instead of rounded ones, and their coloring ranged from all colors of the rainbow, not the varying shades of white or brown.
"Welcome to Camp Caligo, home of the fae king's army," she said, gesturing to the space around us with a wide sweep of her arms." We started to walk down the little street, lined with buildings and workers. "That there is where you'll eat." She pointed to the widest and longest building a couple thousand meters out to the left. "And beyond that is where a lot of the training happens."
"What does this...training consist of?" I asked, eyeing her.
"Well, first its strength training, so your basic running, sprints, weight lifting, swimming. All that fun stuff." She offered me a broad smile and I was pretty sure she thought all the things she mentioned in that list were actually fun. "And then at the end there's this big evaluation agility course where you test all your skills."
"Oh wow," I said, raking a hand across my forehead. That sounded like hell.
"Don't worry, I got through it easily when I first started as an initiate. It's not too hard." I eyed her powerful frame and natural prowess. Her words of encouragement did nothing for me. In fact, I was pretty sure they made me feel worse about my lack of skill.
"Over there is where the laundry gets done, where the weapons are forged, where we make the wine." She pointed to an array of buildings around us, wiggling her eyebrows at the latter. "There's mapmaking over there, candle making, bowl making."
"Lots of making," I mumbled quietly. She flashed me a grin.
"You'll get way more used to the set up once you start living here for a few weeks," she assured me. I didn't feel assured though. To Helen this may have been her little isolated place of happiness, but to me this felt like a prison. We were walled in, forced to work and fight. I wondered if they made us craft our own toilet paper too. It seemed to fit the theme.
"We're a community here, we all work to help each other. You'll bond with your fellow initiates and those are the people you'll become closest to in the end," she said, looking down at me with pride shining in her eyes.
"Oh yay," I forced out, giving her a smile. I just had to remind myself why I was really here. I needed to find information and give it to Elda. For the Killers of King. I was one of them now, which meant I needed to suck it up and do my job. After initiation, I'd get a bland job and then my life would be easier. Until then, I'd just have to bite my tongue and suffer.
"So, these are the barracks." We walked past the rows of little buildings and I saw the large, looming one now that she called 'the barracks'. "That's where you'll be staying for boot camp, and then if you want to remain a soldier you'll stay there, but be moved into a better room. Way more private. If not, you'll be moved to an apartment to do more...basic work."
"Sounds good," I said, scratching at the back of my neck. At least I'd be hearing more gossip in the barracks if there was little privacy. That meant no walls to block off sound. I felt like Heather. Always the optimist.
"The bathing house is right across the grass. The water is heated, but you get clean enough." She pointed to a smaller building further out.
"Why is the bathing house so far from the barracks?" I asked. Helen shrugged and I found myself biting back a snort. Probably to inconvenience us further. Because what was worse than a cold shower? Having to trek all the way across a field to get to that cold shower.
Helen guided me through the barracks, showing me records of achievement and trophy cases that were shining and illuminated so thoroughly that no one would miss their gleam. This army sure was proud of themselves. Another reason I wouldn't fit in here. I wasn't high on pride.
She led me down to where the initiates stayed, which was at basement level. None of the initiates were there now because they were in the cafeteria eating dinner. The bunks were small and covered in nothing but a thin blanket and lumpy pillow. There were some bags dropped off by beds, even some custom pillows thrown among the mix, alluding to the fact that some of my fellow initiates had already started living here. The initiates sleeping quarters weren't very large, just enough to accommodate about fifty beds, and a row of toilets at the end of the room. No stalls to separate. Just straight toilets. Oh...and one single sink. Couldn't forget the single sink.
"You'll take the top bunk there. I'm pretty sure it's the only one available." She pointed to a bunk straight in the middle of the room. Yeah no privacy at all. "Lights out is at nine, wakeup call is at five. Normally you'll have some small workout before breakfast before the rest of your days activities."
"Is there any free time?" I asked. Free time would certainly be the best time to sneak around to get information.
"After dinner. Dinner is at seven and lights out is at ten so you'll have about three hours of down time. Just make sure to get in before curfew, they're very strict about that here." She said, looking down at me.
"What do they do if you're not in by curfew?" I asked, wrapping my arms around myself. There was a chill to the air that settled itself deep into my bones. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was...wrong. Something felt bad. Heat thrummed deep in my belly and I felt my heart beat against my ribs. And then the feeling passed as soon as it had come. Gone like a curl of smoke on a breeze of wind. Gone. That was odd.
"I'm not permitted to say," she said, causing a shudder to drip down my spine. She looked so intense. I wondered if the girl ever didn't look like she couldn't impale you with the sword at her hip. But then she broke out into a smile that only slightly lessened the intensity. "But just make sure you're not out after ten." She bumped her hip with mine and I forced myself to smile.
"Okay," I said, eyeing the bed that she had claimed was mine. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into it and sleep for an eternity. I didn't know how long I had been sleeping since that attack from the goblins, but it didn't feel like it had been long enough. My body was tired. And that strange...broken feeling I had felt moments ago felt like it had taken something out of me. I felt like I wanted to cry. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. How strange.
"I'll bring you something to eat so you don't have to brave the cafeteria tonight, from what I've heard, you've gone through quite a bit these past few days." She wiggled her brows and I nodded, assuming she was speaking of the goblin attack. I prayed that not too many people had heard of my encounter in the forest. That would raise questions and the last thing I wanted was any more attention.
"Thank you," I said.
"It's the least I can do," Helen said, reaching up to squeeze my shoulder. "I'll see you soon hopefully. Look out for me, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and I felt myself freeze. Except she used one finger instead of three, and I saw no green bracelet on her wrist, and from what I'd seen, no ribbon in her hair. Damn. She would've been a good ally. Now I had a badass fae warrior on the opposing side. Wonderful.
"Get some rest, Eira. Big day tomorrow." She waved goodbye before slipping out of the door. Once it clicked shut behind her I let out a much needed breath. I did it. I had gotten into the army without question or even so much as a second glance. No one suspected me. I let out a surprised laugh, raking a hand through my hair. The thrill I was feeling reminded me of what it felt like as a child the night before Winter Solstice, my favorite holiday, when I was so excited for the day to come. Although now it was more like I was dreading the days to come. A month of hardcore, gutwrenching bootcamp intiation, followed by an agility course to finish it all off. Talk about the cherry on top.
"You can do this. Do it for them, if anything," I whispered, pressing trembling fingers to my forehead. Their names rang through my head like the chiming of a bell. Tellie, Heather, Elda, Anastasia, and Dimitri. Gods above, even freaking Gretchen. I was doing this for them.
I walked over to my bunk and crawled up the ladder. I put my bag in the storage cubby that was at the base of my bed, which I found had clothes in it as well. Basic black tunic and pants. That must've been the regulated uniform. Before I closed the cubby though, I made sure to swipe my dagger from it and tuck it under my matress. There, that felt better.
I was hoping I would've been able to wait for Helen to return with food, but once I laid down on my bed, my exhaustion swept over me like a dark cloud and I fell asleep almost instantly. A little mouse slumbering away in a put full of snakes. I wondered who was going to bite first.