Our coming-of-age has come and gone
Suddenly this summer, it's clear
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
And it's just around the corner, darling
'Cause it lives in me
No, I could never give you peace
•••
Camila walks through their front door and goes immediately to the small bathroom by the end of the hall, annoyed for having to pee again in such a short amount of time. When she walks back, Shawn is at the kitchen, putting away their groceries as Tarzan observes his every move with so much attention. The golden retriever puppy might love her, but it has already become clear to her that Shawn was his true obsession.
“ Shawn?” Camila whispers, catching his attention as she accommodates herself on the couch and turns on the TV. “ Would you mind getting me some of that strawberry ice cream?”
She watches as Shawn turns around and looks at her with a smile on his face, so she makes sure to send him her best puppy face, just like Tarzan does to her when he wants her to share her food with him.
“ Of course, honey.” He says with a chuckle, letting her know he would have agreed to it even without the puppy face.
Camila chooses a random romcom at Netflix because she doesn’t really feel like paying attention, all she wants is to just relax and put her feet up because of how swollen they feel after their trip to the grocery store. Shawn sits down next to her and hands her a bow of ice cream, which she gladly attacks as he places a kiss on her cheek. They watch the movie in silence as Camila finishes her ice cream, placing the empty bow over the center table before laying down with her head over a pillow and her legs over Shawn’s lap.
“ Shawn?” Camila whispers once again, making him look at her while his hand goes up and down her legs.
“ Yeah, honey?” He asks softly, smiling at her. She almost didn’t answer him because of the heart melting smile he just gave her.
“ Would you mind massaging my feet?” She asks shyly. He had offered to do it the other day and it helped her swollen feet a lot, but she still felt kind of weird asking.
“ Sure.” Shawn sounds happy to be able to ease her discomfort in any way and she sighs soundly when his hands start rubbing her feet gently. He stops for a second and walks to the bathroom, coming back with one of her body lotions and applying it to her feet before restarting the massage.
His hands work with the right amount of pressure and softness, making some questionable sounds leave Camila’s lips from the relief she’s feeling. She closes her eyes involuntarily, the movie they were watching long forgotten, letting herself get lost in the touch of his hands. He’s no longer touching just her feet, moving his hands up her ankles and calves and making her mind to places she’s been trying to avoid every time she’s too close to him.
Camila catches her breath when she feels one of Shawn’s hands going up to her thigh and slightly squeezing it, still working on a massage. A low moan leaves her lips as she immediately opens her eyes, finding Shawn looking down at her with a look that tells her he’s doing this on purpose. She feels herself blushing as he smirks and keeps touching her thighs, clearly enjoying seeing her reaction to his touches.
Trying to hide her embarrassment, Camila grabs his face and pulls him down to kiss her, making him hover over her body as she locks her legs around his torso. She kisses Shawn with urgency and he responds by running his hand all over her body. There has been so much tension between them these last few weeks that when he starts trailing kisses down her body, Camila thinks she might combust in flames from how much she needs him. She knows her hormones are mostly to blame, but she doesn’t even care about them at the moment.
Her baby blue summer dress is quickly lifted over her stomach and she smiles when Shawn starts kissing her now very noticeable baby bump with affection. When he moves back to her feet and begins trailing kisses up her legs, Camila’s hand moves to his messy curls. Soft whimpers leave her lips when he pays attention to her inner thighs, always getting close to the material of her panties, but never crossing that line.
“ Shawn, please.” Camila whispers, looking down at him with pleading eyes. He seems unsure, not wanting to pressure her to go any further, even though he knew exactly how to make her beg like she was doing right at that moment.
His eyes are asking if she’s sure and when she nods her head eagerly, he wastes no time in pulling her underwear down and using his mouth to make her feel just as good as he does in every dream she’s been having about him. When he’s done she’s a mess of moans and whispers of his name, shaking and squirming underneath him, wondering why she waited so long to let anything like that happen.
Camila breathes heavily as she watches him swipe his mouth and chin with the back of his hand, then going back to place affectioned kisses on her belly. She laughs weakly at how he could go from that to being so sweet in a few seconds. He helps her pull her underwear back on, not once giving her hints that he wanted anything else besides what they just did. He knew she was still hesitant about going further than that and she found herself wondering how she managed to find the perfect husband. She pulls him up for a kiss as he keeps one hand over her baby bump, suddenly pulling away and looking up at him with shock in her eyes.
“ Did you feel that?” She whispers, looking down at her stomach with wide eyes.
“ Yes.” He says just as surprised at her.
“ Again.” Camila says exactly when she feels something like a light tap on her belly, almost like a tickle. “ Oh my god.” She laughs and reaches down to touch her stomach where Shawn's hand is.
“ That’s insane.” He says, laughing along with her as their laughs quickly turn into tears of joy. They both knew it might happen sometime in the near future, but still felt like the most surreal experience for the both of them.
The next days were spent with Taylor and Hailee trying to make the baby kick again so they could also feel it, but it never happened. Even some of the other expecting moms from her prenatal yoga classes wanted to feel, but it would only happen when Shawn was the only one around, almost like the baby was too shy in front of other people.
One day she found herself in the middle of her yoga class when she needed desperately to pee, so she excused herself, walked out of the class and headed to the restroom by the end of the hallway. She was almost done, splashling some water over her face when she felt the baby kick again. It was the first time it happened without Shawn being around and she smiled, sitting down on the covered toilet while feeling her baby for a moment.
The second she closed her eyes, Camila felt like her whole world was crashing. Images of a car hitting her while she was driving hitted her full force, the way her car was pushed against a sign stop being the only thing in her mind. She could even smell the metal and feel the blood dripping down her face and blurring her vision. The fear of dying and the thought of never seeing Shawn again were the last things that crossed her mind before she blacked out completely, hearing the faint sound of sirens on the back of her mind.
Camila’s eyes open and she starts sobbing as those painful memories overtake the happy moment that was happening a few seconds ago. Physically she knows she’s safe, but her mind starts bringing her to the verge of panic because of the images in her head. She slowly reaches for her phone, placed over the sink because Shawn started telling her to have her phone with her at all times. He wanted her to have a way to reach him in case anything happened, both because of the pregnancy and because he knew she might have some kind of breakdown when she got some of her memories back.
“ Hey, I’m ten minutes away. Is your class over yet?” Shawn’s voice can be heard from the other side of the line once she calls his number and he immediately picks up. She doesn’t say anything, but he hears her quiet sobs. “ Mila, what happened? Are you okay? Are you still at the yoga studio?”
She tries to answer him, but her voice doesn’t come out, just a few more sobs as the memories from the accident won’t go away. She never had a panic attack before, but she’s quite sure she might be having one. She’s not sure how long it has been before she hears knocking on the door and Shawn’s voice, but it was definitely less than the ten minutes he told her over the phone.
“ Mila, are you there?” He sounds so concerned that she starts feeling guilty for alarming him like that. “ Let me in, please.” He sounds desperate, almost like he’s not sure if he should break that door open or wait for her. Camila manages to stand up and slowly unlocks the door, feeling Shawn’s arms around her the second she’s out of the small restroom.
He keeps asking if she’s okay and she just shakes her head, crying against his chest as he pulls her to sit down on a nearby bench. He holds her until she calms down, knowing this is not some silly crying over Tarzan eating her pancakes. He can sense this is serious, so it must be something about her memories finally coming back. When she can finally breathe properly and has no tears left to cry, she takes a glass of water offered by her yoga instructor, who seems really concerned too.
“ Can you tell me what happened now, honey?” Shawn asks softly, stroking her hair in the most comforting way.
“ I remembered something.” She whispers when her yoga instructor walks away to give them some privacy.
“ You did?” He asks carefully. “ And what was that?”
“ The accident.” She whispers even more quietly. “ It was terrifying.”
“ Shh.” Shawn whispers as she feels herself getting anxious again. “ You’re okay. You don’t have to tell me now. How about we just go home and you take some rest?”
Camila nods her head and buries her face in his chest again, taking in his comforting scent and trying to calm down. She feels him placing a hand under her knees and suddenly he’s carrying her bridal style back to his car. She wraps her arms firmly around his neck, breathing in and out before he places her on the passenger seat and buckles her in. He takes his time caressing her face and kissing her forehead before walking to his side of the car and getting in. He manages to do exactly what she needs, comforting her by showing her love instead of pressuring her to tell him any details of what she remembered.