Marina's POV
"Okay so our clothes are off.. is this gay?" She asks, I shake my head
"No. I'm British so it doesn't count. And it won't count until you're comfortable with it doing so" I pause "speaking of comfortable.. will you hold me?" I ask, she rolls her eyes at me
"Who do you think you are asking me to cuddle you like that?"
"We're literally naked in my bed, we've done far worse than cuddle." I giggle "and besides, we've done it before"
"We have" she smiles "okay go ahead, but don't push it."
"Wouldn't dream of" I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight. It feels good to be naked with her, not necessarily sexually, just in general. She holds me too, pulling me into her
"You're a mess.. finding comfort in me like this" she kisses my head "can't be healthy. I'm pretty fucked"
"I disagree. You've just been through a lot, and so have I. I believe we're in a healing process, and you're quite a large factor of mine."
"And you me, baby.." she trails her long nails around on my back. I move a little so her nails can scratch me.. I kind of like the thought of her hurting me gently, I couldn't explain why though. "I want a cigarette" she sighs
"No you don't, you want to stay in bed with your favourite little British girl" I kiss her cheek
"Maybe you're right.. Where's my second favourite Brit? I'm surprised she didn't walk in on us or anything, that seems like our type of luck"
"No Laf's spending the night at a boys tonight" ..... "oh my god she's losing her virginity some time tonight. I hope it's going good for her"
"Ew why do you keep tabs on your sisters sex life?"
"Why do you have a second favourite Brit? I should be the only Brit you need" I retort brattily, she smirks
"Calm down baby I didn't say you weren't. If I needed your sister like I needed you then I don't think she'd be losing her virginity to a boy right now"
"You need me?" I smile, she rolls her eyes and starts to get up "no no no stay" I hold her tight
"Marina don't..." she stops and laughs "I was joking" she gets comfortable with me again
"Good because I don't want you to leave." I state confidently
"That's fine by me, I hate my place. But at least there I can smoke when I wanna smoke."
"Don't you have your vape with you or something?" I ask, she thinks
"Fuck, it's in my car."
"Then I suppose you won't be getting it" I kiss her shoulder "you aren't allowed to leave"
"You know, I don't remember you being this needy when we first started.... the relationship we have"
"That's because I like you even more now than I did then. And you me, I can tell."
"You can?" She laughs, I narrow my eyes at her "kinda confident of you"
"Well you did just give me head. I don't remember you doing that the night we first kissed." I say sarcastically
"I probably did mentally, but that's beside the point." She makes me smile
"Okay then what is the point? That you're a stone cold bitch that'll go to extreme lengths to prove it?"
"Exactly" she kinda laughs "you know, I found it so hard to let myself enjoy being with you. I don't know what changed in me"
"Sexual interest" I joke, she just kisses my head
"Stop I like you for a lot more than just that. Although it is incredible."
"Ugh you are so so sweet" I get on top of her and kiss her, she pulls away and looks down at our boobs
"That's hot"
"Hey, don't get turned on again" I make her look back up at me "we'd possibly explode if we did anything else. You gave me quite a climax"
"Quite?" She asks, offended. I smile.. I'm such a brat. "Baby, I had you screaming.."
"Mmh maybe you did" I kiss her again and then cuddle into her "I wonder how my sister's doing."
"She's probably got it under control you know, she's awesome" she plays with my hair
It makes me happy that she likes my sister. And it makes me happy that my sister likes her back. They're quite possibly my two favourite people in the world.. I just hope I'm not getting attached. And I hope it's not too late to be hoping that.
"I like that you like her"
"She's sweet and I like how much she looks after you. Even though she's like a year older which is kinda weird since she acts as a mother figure."
"You're telling me.. imagine having your sister turn up to your parents evening and her only being a year older than you."
"I'm sorry baby.. you're the least deserving person of any misfortune. I wish I could change things for you"
"I wish I could change things for you" I lay on her front, we're face to face making meaningful eye contact "we can have things how we want them though. Right now it's just how things are meant to be, for character development."
"I hope you're right" she holds my face.. I think it gets a little too meaningful for her, so she squishes my face. I let her. She kisses my pouted lips "you're so pretty"
"You are. Your skin is very good"
"I take expensive care of it, like I say." She pauses "you must take expensive care of me huh?"
"What makes you say that?" I smile
"You know.. the amount of times you've bought me dinner, the amount of times I've stayed at your house.. I should be paying rent" she says, I laugh
"You're a pleasure to be in the company of. I like buying you dinner, and on top of that my parents pay for literally everything over here so don't even worry"
"I won't as long as you let me buy you dinner next time" she flirts, I smile
"Mmh fine. Are you hungry right now?"
"I just ate" she jokes, I make a face
"You're gross.."
"You did it too"
"I mean the joke, not the sex act" I laugh, she smiles
"Right.. I am hungry though. Only a little, because it's pretty late. But still."
"Me too." I kiss her nose "let's go and eat before it gets even later."
"Good idea" she says, I kiss her then get off of her. I catch her frown a little
"What's that for?" I smile
"I like you on me".. I swoon. She actually enjoys me cuddling her.
"Then we can do it more later" I get out of bed. She stares at me. Literally stares "don't be so rude" I mumble, putting on an oversized shirt
"I'm sorry.. you're so hot, I can't believe I have you to myself."
"That's sweet.." I put on some underwear underneath, just for comforts sake. "Aren't you getting dressed?"
"Okay but don't look"
"Don't look?" I smile, she looks at me unamused "really?"
"Yes really it makes it gay."
"Well we can't be having that.." I sympathise. Sometimes I do feel guilty for putting all this mental burden of sexuality on her. But then I remember that it's her as much as it's me, and I do the best I can to make it easier for her. "I'll get you some clothes"
"Thanks..". I get her one of her shirts. She has quite a lot of clothes here, I like that she does because it makes us more real. But I'm scared more real equals catching feelings. "You should text your sister, see how it's going"
"What, and interrupt her first time?" I kinda laugh "I don't think she'll stop to check her phone"
"They'll be done by now surely, it's late. If you don't text her I will." She makes me smile
"That's cute." I give her her clothes "I'll text her and not look whilst you dress."
"Thank you"
"You're welcome. Even though your body is the fucking hottest I've ever seen." I take my phone from the side. I always have it on silent when I'm with Lizzy, it's so I can enjoy my time with her better.
"You're just saying that" she smiles, I shake my head
"I promise I'm not. Anyway, shan't look." I go onto my phone and head to messages "what do I even say to her? We make an effort not to talk about sex.."
"Just ask her how it's going. Me and my sister talk about sex all the time.... well not all the time, she doesn't know that we fuck. She knows you're my friend but she doesn't know how... how close we are" she explains, I smile
"We are pretty close.."
'Me: hey how's it going'
"She probably won't reply right away.." I mumble, going onto Instagram. Jess has sent me a few memes so I just go like a few of them. Then I see the message notification come down so click on it
'Laf: that hurt like fuck.' She makes me smile
"She said it hurt like fuck" I tell Lizzy, looking at her because I can make out she's fully dressed
"It does the first few times" she makes a face "in fact it's pretty shit until then."
"Yeah I remember the feeling" I wince.. gross.
'Me: was it 💦 enough?'
'Laf: I can't believe u just asked that'
I laugh, Lizzy looks at me to ask what. I show her the texts.. she smiles
"You're dirty, go easy on her she's clearly insecure.."
"She can take it. Besides, maybe I'll be able to incorporate some sexual openness in our relationship"
"What, by forcing her?" She mocks
"You make me sound bad.. tell me about you and your sister" I say, opening the bedroom door
"She's one of my favourite people ever, you know.. I grew up with her, and it's not the same without her." She tells me, leading the way downstairs. I love how at home I've been able to make her feel.
"You're older than her aren't you?" I ask, even though I already know. I just want her to go into more detail.
"I am but only by two years, she feels my age. I see her when the schools break up, but.."
"Not the same." I say, she shakes her head
"No. Not at all.. She's pretty clean by the way"
"Clean?" I ask
"Yeah she doesn't get fucked up on drugs or anything.."
"Well she is only fifteen" I put my phone on the counter in the kitchen
"Didn't stop me" she kinda smirks, I smile
"You shouldn't joke about that.."
"Relax I barely get high anymore, and if I do it's just weed. And it's with my friends so it's not bad for me.".. that puts my mind at ease. I do worry about her, a lot more than I'd care to admit. "You can't be mad that I smoke weed, because I know it's something you've done too"
"I suppose.. I don't know why you like it though, it makes me feel sick"
"It just breaks up my life. I like it" she sits at the breakfast bar "what're we gonna eat?"
"Would you like some toast?" I ask
"Yeah sure toast sounds good.. You will text your sister back won't you?" She asks, showing genuine concern. I smile
"Yeah I will I just need to think of what to say in response. You can craft a text message if you like"
"You'd let me on your phone?" She looks surprised
"You've seen me naked, I think that's worse than looking through my phone."
"Well yeah but... it's a big thing right?"
"I don't know if it is, really. Would you let me on yours? Just out of curiosity." I ask.
I really don't have any interest in going on her phone. I know that she tells me a lot more than she tells anyone else, and that what she does tell me she tells me in her own time. I respect her a lot... not that she doesn't respect me by wanting to go on my phone, I know she's just nosy. It's cute.
"I guess I would let you I just wouldn't want you to. Phones are private" She says, picking up my phone "what's your passcode?"
"Oh the irony" I smile, she smiles too
"You let me"
"I did. Let me use my thumb" she holds my phone out to me, I unlock it with my thumbprint.
"I can't believe you're letting me do this"
"What's on your phone that's so bad I wonder.." I put two slices of bread in the toaster, we can put more in if we're still hungry.
"Like, everything. You'd know me too well" she goes onto my text with Laf
"But I want to know you that well"
"Tough, I don't want you to. Anyway, what should we say to her?"
"I don't know, anything we say will make her squirm. Do what you think's best"
"I'll just ask if she enjoyed it or not. She hasn't actually said" she bites her lip as she types.
"You're so pretty" I tell her, she makes a nasty face at me
"Suck a dick.."
"That was mean"
"I'm sorry compliments are just unbearable." She looks back down at my phone and smiles "she did enjoy it. That's good"
"It's sweet that you care so much about my sister"
"She's good to me. And I think she likes me"
"She does. She talks to me about you a lot" I get two plates out for us
"What does she say?" She asks, I look at her funny
"Why? Do you like her more than me?"
"What if I did?" She teases. It kind of hurts even though she's only joking. "I'm sorry, baby. You know exactly how I feel about you, and you know that no one else compares to you, sexually or otherwise. Now tell me what your sister says about me"
I think if I wasn't too afraid to love her, this would be the moment I'd realised I'd fallen for her.
"Um just that.." fuck, focus. "she likes when you come over" I ignore how fast my hearts beating. The toaster pops up the bread and it scares me "jesus.." I mumble, Lizzy smirks
"What's the matter with you? Have I made you nervous?"
"No." I lie, she tilts her head at me for me to tell the truth "okay yeah, but only because I can't handle it when you're so nice to me and use your words like that."
"That's kinda adorable" she smiles "let me make the toast for you baby, go text your sister"
"Okay" she being so sweet I could die. I sit on the barstool next to the one she was on
"Okay" she holds my waist from behind as she walks past me "don't fall or anything"
"I'm not a baby, Lizzy.."
"You are to me" she goes to sort out the toast. I just watch her and think about how good she always is to me. Maybe she likes me more than she lets on... I think I like her more than I let on.
I take my mind off of her by texting my sister. Her and Lizzy had been having a nice conversation. She couldn't tell it wasn't me which is kind of disheartening, but Lizzy did make herself text how I text. And it's sweet she picks up on that..
I need to stop thinking about her or else I will fall for her. I'm pathetic; catching feelings after the second time fucking..... well we don't know that for sure yet, I may just be feeling the post sex emotions. And having people take care of me has always made me feel some type of way.
Perhaps there's still hope of being no-strings.
'Laf: and how're you and lizzy?
are you two having fun?'
'Me: yes we are. I hope you weren't
implying anything through that
tone'
'Laf: you and her have totally done it'
"She knows about us" I cover my face
"Doesn't take a genius. She knows you're not straight, she knows I spend a tonne of time here and that I sleep in your bed with you.."
"We might just be close friends"
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself" she jokes, I let myself smile at it. "Here's your toast baby" she gives me my plate
"Thank you.." I take a bite and it tastes better than any toast I've had ever before.
'Laf: I bet u did it tonight didn't you'
"Oh my god she's kind of stressing me out" I look at her message
"She's just getting you back for asking if her sex was wet enough" she kinda laughs, sitting down to eat next to me. She's strangely comfortable around me. I like it but it's odd.
"How do I reply?"
"Just tease her back." I watch her eat her toast. She's very sexy. I like watching her eat.
"Right, right.."
'Me: at least you've never walked in on
me and Lizzy. That's more than I
can say about you and your bf lol'
I hit send, Lizzy smiles
"You're a brat.."
"I know" I smile too "but now she knows we fuck.. are you going to feel weird about that?"
"It's gonna be a little weird for both of us right? But it's not gonna stop me from railing you."
"I don't know how I'd ever forgive myself if it did." I half joke. She doesn't get defensive when I compliment her sexual prowess. She just smiles
"Me neither. This toast is good"
"It is, thank you for making it" I tell her, she raises her shoulders a little
"Joint effort."
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A/N
This part was shit but uh oh ✨catching feelings✨
What do you guys think of chemtrails? Be honest. This is a safe space lol
I think it only sounds good with the music video. I'd listen it in a mental breakdown tho