Betso carefully removed a fast asleep Muzi from her chest so she could get out of bed to go pee. After she was done, she left the room to go check on Lwandile. He wasn't in his room. He checked in the room that used to belong to Mxo and he wasn't there either. She looked around for a bit, trying to maybe feel the presence of the deceased twin but it felt so empty, so lonely. She closed the door before her emotions could take over. She went down to the living room and heard cartoons playing. Lwa was there, watching with disinterest smeared on his face. She heaved a sigh before walking further to go sit with him on the couch.
"What are you watching?", she asked with a smile. He turned his face briefly to look at her.
"Naruto", he replied.
"Is it nice? Can I watch with?"
"Sure", he agreed flatly. Her eyes kept bouncing around the room, not knowing where to start.
"Kanyo..."
"I'm fine ma. I'll be fine", he knew what wagon she was about to climb on.
"Are you really--"
"I met someone", he changed the subject and faked a smile. She could see right through him. She deflated her chest defeatedly but chose to entertain him, maybe a happy topic was exactly what he needed, she thought to herself silently.
"Okay. Who?"
"His name is Bokang"
"Hm, rhyming names. I can just see them on the wedding invitation", she said jokingly and he laughed.
"Wedding? Let's not", he said and continued to laugh.
"Should I bring ice cream for this?", she asked, already on her feet. He felt the zero judgment in her voice and that filled his heart with some necessary warmth. He wasn't feeling like ice cream at that hour but he nodded lovingly.
"Cool", she said and clapped her hands in celebration. She brought a tub and lifted the throw off him so she could get in too. Lwa took his spoon and she opened it.
"So, tell me about this new flame", she said with anticipation and Lwa huffed out a laugh before taking in half a spoonful into his mouth.
"I met him at some cafe in town. He ticks all the right boxes so far", he mentioned after he swallowed.
"How old is he?"
"He's 19", he lied. He wasn't planning to but something in his head told him to lie. That deceitful voice wasn't convinced that she was going to be happy with his real age.
"Not too bad. I'm guessing he's done with school?"
"Yeah. He's studying I.T", he sprinkled some tiny bit of truth, laced with lies.
"Can I meet him?", she said with her one eye closed. She knew she was reaching. He laughed and almost choked on the ice cream.
"No WTF mom? It's too soon. Way too soon", he said. She laughed too.
"Arg, a mom has got to try", she was still laughing lightly as they ate from the same tub. Momentary silence inserted a break into their conversation.
"Mom?"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry. That day with the bucket hat and how I spoke to--"
"Don't be. I'm the one who handled that whole situation wrongly. I should've done better", she comforted and brushed his hair.
"Still. Going through shxt doesn't mean I should be an a**hole"
He placed the spoon in his mouth and kept it in there.
"Let's put it behind us. Now I want to know and be as truthful as you can about this. How are you coping?", she now wore a serious look on her face. He sighed and sat back.
"I don't know. I don't think I am. My life has taken a sharp curve and as much as I'm trying, I don't know how to deal with it. I saw him for atleast 85% of every single day and now I can't be with him even for a minute. It's weird. It hurts. I've never felt so much pain in my life mama and I'm certain that it'll never go away. If it miraculously does, then I'm afraid I won't be able to feel anything ever again. The damage is just too much", he laid himself bare in front of her; stripping his emotions naked. Her eyes were glassy from the suspended tears.
"Do I ever freak you out?", he quickly asked inquisitively. She let out a breathy laughter. She knew what he meant.
"Yeah you do. I mean I could clearly tell you apart but if you appear out of nowhere then yeah. My brain freezes for a second"
He laughed in a brief pained manner.
"How are YOU coping?", it was his turn to ask. She pursed her lips and faced the ceiling.
"I miss him. So so much", she stated lowly, painfully. He placed the ice cream tub on the table and sat a little closer so he could hug his mourning mother. She was still trying to push the tears back, pressing her index finger tips onto the inner corners of eyes.
...
Melokuhle walked into his room and threw his school bag on the bed before dumping himself there. He was tired but also fighting that twitching thing at the back of his head that kept forcing him to think about Mxolisi. He grabbed the remote and turned on the radio for some distractive noise. He wasn't interested in the conversation that was taking place on air, he just wanted to hear anything that could cut into his thoughts. He took off his shoes and laid on the bed. A message from Londiwe appeared on the screen.
Her: Back from school?
Melo: Yea. You?
Londiwe: Nope. Still in an afternoon class.
Melo: Why are you on your phone then?
Londiwe: But I miss you🥺
The radio honoured a song request and Lewis Capaldi's 'Someone you loved' began playing. His fingers froze when he digested the lyrics of this unfamiliar song. They sank their alphabetic claws deeper into his heart as Busi's smile grew to her ears in his head. He sat up on the bed and immediately switched the radio off.
Melokuhle: Focus baby. I'll call you when you're done ayt?
He replied to Londiwe and logged off. He called Zamo and asked if she was still up for that ice cream date. She said only if he's picking her up. He changed into casual clothes before leaving the house.
"What changed your mind?", she asked after climbing into the car.
"I just missed you", he said before trying to get a kiss from her. She placed her hand on his chest and pulled back with a smile.
"Friends, remember?"
"I don't remember agreeing to that crap", he replied with a frown. She laughed and his phone rang. He took it out and saw that Khanyi was calling. He was doubtful about answering. Zamo looked out the window.
"Baby?", he answered.
"Hi baby. I'm passing by your house"
"I'm not at home", he continued to speak through the phone.
"Ah kwa kubi ke. Can you come see me later on?"
"I can't come today. Maybe some other time during the week?"
"Alright. I love you?"
"I love you too", he replied and cut the call.
Zamo laughed and shook her head.
"See why being just friends makes sense?", she said and stepped out. He couldn't read her heart from her face. He stepped out as well and went round the front to stop her from leaving. He grabbed her by the waist from the back and she calmly stopped walking, then pushed the hanging braid behind her ear.
"Zamo bheka..."
"I am not going to be your sidechick Melokuhle. I am not that kinda girl"
"I don't want you to be my sidechick. I want you to be my girlfriend. There's no such thing as a side or a main"
"What do you mean?"
"I want you in my life. It's as simple as that"
"And her?"
"What about her? Is it her you're going to be in a relationship with or yimina?"(or me?)
Zamo laughed.
"You're unbelievable"
"Ngiyafana nothando engizimisele ukukunika lona. It's going to be so unbelievable so much that you'll eventually scream for omakhelwane ukuthi bangikhuze"(I'm no different to the love I'm willing to give you... for the neighbors to stop me), he said with a smile and she shot out a laugh.
...
All the problems that were circling the royal household felt like mountain rocks on top of Manqoba's shoulders. He stood against the shower wall as he felt the hot water hit his back, starting from his bent neck. Enhle walked into the room and immediately heard the water consistently pouring onto the shower floor from their bedroom. She heaved a sigh as she stood against the door, before gently pushing it into the frame and closing it. She walked towards the closet and took down her large travel suitcase, then dragged it to the bed. Manqoba was still in the shower as she took down her clothes. When the case was half-full, she heard the water go off. She let out a heavy breath, trying to expel the anxiety that was filling up her lungs. He walked out with a towel around his waist, using another to wipe his head. He stopped walking the moment he realized the open suitcase that was placed on his bed.
"And then?", he asked as a frown of confusion shrunk his face. Enhle just stood and stared - muted.
"I asked you a question Mbalenhle. What is going on?", he rephrased.
"I uh-- I'm leaving. I'm leaving you... for good", although in chops and pieces, she finally replied. She could feel the tears threatening her eyes. Before her stood a man she loved wholeheartedly but at the same time, stood a man she knew very well wasn't good for her soul; for her mental health. He took a few slow steps closer.
"I don't think I still understand English. Leaving uyaphi?"
She sniffed and fruitlessly opened her mouth to speak. She gave up on that conversation and went back into the closet to go fetch her shoes. Manqoba pulled the suitcase closed.
"Are you gonna answer me anytime this year or sizohlala la uze unqume ukukhuluma?"(... we'll be stuck in this room until you speak?), he questioned with a raised brow. She had a pair of heels and sneakers held to her chest.
"Ngishilo nje"(I told you)
"Wathini?"(What did you say?)
"Ngithe ngiyahamba Zikode"(I said I'm leaving)
"Uhamba uyaphi? Kwa-KhandaLiyashisa?"(And where exactly do you think you're going?)
She closed her mouth and looked away.
He wrapped his hand behind her head, making their foreheads meet. He swallowed before he could speak. She could see his Adam's apple move since she was avoiding eye contact.
"Tell your husband what he did wrong so he can fix it", he said in a soft spoken tone. She slowly shook her head and closed her eyes.
"Ngenzen mama?"(What have I done?), his hand were on both her cheeks. She dropped the shoes and raised her hands to sit over his. She kindly removed them off her face and they held hands.
"You have done absolutely nothing. It's just--", she took a second to structure her words.
"I'm doing something I should've done a long time ago. Something I should've done the first time I slept on this bed alone. The first time you made me question my worth"
"Baby I--"
"Please let me finish. I am not innocent in our downfall. Hell not even close. But one thing I know for sure is that you were the only one I wanted all those years. That's why I only cheated once and just recently. I never needed to substitute you with another man like you did with those many women"
He shut his eyes and dropped his face. Enhle's tears and breaking voice felt like barbwire squeezing around his heart - especially because he felt they were final this time.
"A lot could've gone awfully wrong but I'm gratefully it didn't. You made babies outside of our union Manqoba there's AIDS!", she continued to let her chest rip as she wiped her cheeks. Each time she had to take her hand out of his to do this, she took it right back after she was done.
"I could've killed you, you know?", she said and an alarmed sparkle swiped across his eyes.
"There were times were I looked at you in your sleep... I was mad, I was angry! I wanted to hurt you as much as you did me but I never did it. I never did it because I love you and when you love someone you don't consciously inflict pain on them. The same knife you wanted me to use in my wifely duties while preparing hot meals for you is the same weapon that could've easily crossed you out as cold and six feet under"
"Please don't do this..."
"I don't want to be a Melinda. This love between us is as dangerous as acrimony is. I slapped you once, I might do worse next time", she stated and left to go fetch her toiletries in the bathroom.
"There won't be any next time. I'm a changed man!", he insisted as he followed her in there. She grabbed her toiletry bag from the cupboard below the sink and filled it up, clearing the top shelf.
"There's nothing we haven't been through. I promise--"
She shook her head vigorously as she mumbled inaudibly and he zipped it. He turned her around and she dropped her hands impatiently.
"Listen... Ngiyak'thanda and ngiyohlezi ngik'thanda. I will not sit and watch you leave me because of my past mistakes - mistakes I've learnt from?"
She left that spot and went into the shower to go fetch her loofah and shower gel. He followed her and closely stood behind her. She took the items and he blocked her from going out.
"Can we not do this?", her voice was tired. He stepped forward and she stepped back, until she was against the shower taps. She tried raising her hand to stop him from coming onto her but her elbow raised the faucet and cold water came falling down. She gasped and he couldn't care less. He took both her hands and brought her closer to him.
"If you love me, you'll let me go"
"Thembalami, nhliziyo yami, angeke ngikwazi. Angeke ngikwazi Enhle uzongixolela. In fact I'm gonna kill that foo--"(I won't be able to)
"I'm not leaving you for him. I just want to be alone. I'm going to Guatemala for some me time"
"Ngizohamba nawe kuleyo me time yakho"(I will join you on that me time of yours)
A slight laugh left her lips, but she still wasn't changing her mind.
"Please move out of my way I'm getting wet"
He tried to kiss her and she pulled her face back with a straight face. He bit his lower lip and sighed in frustration.
"Waziban e Melikha baby? Let's give it one more shot. Just one more and I promise you--"(Who is in America that you know?)
She shook her head in disapproval.
"I have exhausted all my shots. I need to heal. I can't heal in the same environment that broke and poisoned me. I was not like this when you met me. I wasn't this possessive, mirror-breaking, cat fighting psycho I've evolved into. I was a simple girl who happened to put a foot wrong and fall in love. I had dreams of becoming a doctor. I was on my way there. I managed to become a nurse. I was ambitious. I want her back. I miss her. I need to find her and even if she doesn't want to stay, I still need to apologize for losing her in the whirlwind. I need to apologize for choosing you over her, more than once", she confessed as she stood there getting wetter, fully clothed. Her orange dress was sticking to her skin. He was still silent. It took a moment for him to nod and pull her by the neck so he could kiss her forehead. She closed her eyes and didn't fight him.
"If that's what's going to make you happier, then there's nothing I can say. I'll be here waiting for you", he said. She understood that he wasn't getting it, he wasn't getting that that wasn't a tantrum. It was the big scissor cut on the red ribbon.
"I want a divorce, Manqoba", she let out carefully. He still had his lips against her forehead. He stood calmly in that position.
"Unganginyeli Mbalenhle"(don't shxt on my head), he said and continued holding her like she was his, certain and secure that nothing about that was going to change.
UNEDITED.