I love Shrek.
I love our family.
We eat breakfast in the morning.
Shrek cooks it.
He's so nice.
He makes onion omelets with onion juice.
It's delicious.
I tell Shrek it was very tasty.
He says it was no big deal.
I love a modest man.
I hear a knock on the door.
I say I'll get it.
I open it up.
It's Donkey.
I say hi.
I tell him that I'm eating breakfast with Shrek.
He asks for Fiona.
I say she's dead.
He asks what happened.
I say that I stabbed her.
He says that she was a bitch.
I nod in agreement.
He asks for Shrek.
I tell him to come in.
We sit down at the table.
Donkey gets an omelet.
He says it's delicious.
He says it flirtatiously.
Shrek gets the memo.
He says no chance.
He says he's married to me.
Donkey glares at me.
I glare at him.
We go outside.
Shrek says we should go scare local villagers.
We run into a village.
One villager runs by.
Shrek scares him.
He screams.
He tells me he can save me.
I say no.
I say I love Shrek.
We kiss passionately.
Donkey looks jealous.
Then Shrek walks up to the villager.
He runs away.
We all laugh.
Except Donkey.
We walk back home.
It gets dark.
Shrek puts the babies to sleep.
He says to come to bed.
I say I'll be there in a minute.
I look at Donkey.
I say back off asshole.
He says he can get Dragon.
I say that makes no sense.
He broke up with her.
He looks away.
That's right.
Back away from my husband.
He hits me.
We start fighting.
But I pin him easily.
He's a donkey.
I stab him.
He lies there dead.
Then I rape his body.
I know I shouldn't.
What would Shrek say?
He'll never find out.
I go to the bedroom.
We have Shrex.
It's so nice.
Then we both fall asleep.