"Your majesty."
I spin around to face the source of the voice, which happens to be a guard. He's breathing heavily and has a look of panic displayed clearly on his face. "Yes? What's wrong?"
He furrows his eyebrows, and in a hushed voice, says, "It's gotten into the palace."
I tilt my head, confused. "What has?"
"The disease."
The glass of water I was holding drops from my hand, shattering on the floor. For a moment, I'm completely speechless. It couldn't have. We took every precaution.
"How?"
"I... I believe a servant was visiting family... And the family came down with it. But the servant didn't know and returned before they showed any symptoms... before she knew."
My hand makes its way to my mouth, as I stand there, completely stunned.
"It's spreading rapidly, Your Majesty. A quarter of the servants are already sick, and some of the members of court, and we only learned about this this morning. And..." He pauses, shaking his head. "And... well, Your Majesty...."
"Where is Maxon?" I murmur, no longer paying attention to the guard. "Where is my husband?"
"Your Majesty...."
When I turn back to look at him, the sorrow in his eyes makes my stomach drop. No... Maxon.
I start running, not knowing where he even is, though if my assumption is right he would already be quarantined in the hospital wing, so that's where my legs take me. To my horror, the wing is swamped with people when I arrived. This many people would never be in the hospital wing... unless... unless a royal was there.
"Maxon," I cry, pushing my way through the crowd. "Maxon!"
When I reach the front of the mass of people, I find myself standing before a glass wall. And behind the glass wall, lies my husband. Pale, weak... dying.
"No..." I choke back tears as I lift my hand up to touch the glass. The only thing stopping me from completely breaking down is the disbelief. This can't be happening. This is just a bad dream - it has to be, right? Maxon is untouchable; he is good, he is strong, and he cannot be dying.
A gentle hand on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn my head slowly, tears making their way down my cheeks. To my side stands a doctor, his eyes filled with sorrow, confirming my worst fears.
"Your Majesty," he begins. "Because of His Majesty's age and the toll stress has taken on his body, the odds are... the odds are not good. I am sorry to bring you this news, but it is the reality of this situation. We are doing everything we can to keep him healthy."
I zoned out halfway through the doctor's speech, staring through the glass. "Let me in," I murmur.
"What?" he asks, taken aback.
"Let me in. I want to be with him."
He clears his throat, furrowing his eyebrows. "Your Majesty, that's not wise. This disease is extremely contagious and you would most definitely get sick."
"I know. Let me in." I look him in the eyes, my expression hardened. "That is a command, from your queen."
The doctor stops arguing, seeming to understand my desperation. "At least let me get you proper protective equipment."
"I don't want any of it." My voice is barely a whisper now. "I just want to be with my husband."
"Your Majesty, you understand the risk, right? Do you know what that would mean?"
Nodding my head slowly, I smile weakly. "I know exactly what I'm doing, doctor. Please let me be with the love of my life and the father of my children while he is dying."
He bites his lip, and with a nod, he barks orders to his colleagues. "Clear out this wing, and close the doors. No visitation is allowed except for family. Her Majesty is going in."
He offers his hand to me, and guides me to the door. My steps are shaky, and my breath is shallow. Everyone in the room knows that I am willingly walking to my death.
But before I can get there, a hand grabs my arm. I am spun around, and find myself looking into my daughter's eyes.
"Mom, what are you doing?" she pleads, her eyes filled with tears. Slightly behind her, Xander stands with an arm protectively in front of their children whose eyes are wide with confusion and concern.
"My love," I whisper, bringing my hand to her cheek to wipe away the stream of tears. "I have to be with him. Things cannot end with us apart."
"But Mom..." She lets out a sob. "I can't lose both of you. I need you, Mom. I need you. Please don't."
I smile sadly at her, and then look between her and her husband. "You are a queen that our people adore. You have already made great strides as a ruler to bring peace to this country. You have an amazing husband, and children that will make you proud for the rest of your life. Just as you have always made me so proud.
"Your father and I have taught you everything we can. You have always been independent, strong, and full of so much potential. You no longer need us, my darling. But if you ever do, we will always be in your heart."
She pulls me into a hug, sobbing into my shoulder. "But I want you here. I love you. I love you too much to say goodbye. It's too soon, please, it's too soon...."
I swallow my own sobs and hug her as tight as I possibly can, knowing it will be the last time. Her tears stain my dress, but I barely notice. My beautiful daughter needs me right now, and I will be here.
I wave Xander and the kids over, forming a giant group hug. I am surrounded by love, by compassion, and by family. All that a woman could hope for in life, I have had. I have been so incredibly lucky to live the life I have, and though I may not want it to end, I must stand by the man that gave me all of this.
I feel a pang of guilt that I will not be able to hold my first born son, or my baby boy, or any of my other grandchildren for one last time, but I know I cannot wait for them to get here. By then, it may be too late for Maxon.
Amberly pulls away from our embrace, shaking her head. "I know why you have to. I just wish you didn't."
Running my hand through her hair, I nod. "I know, baby. I don't want to leave you. But someone has to be there for him now, as he has always been there for us."
"He deserves that. Please tell him how much we love him, and how thankful we are for him. We will all be here, even if we can't be by his side." She closes her eyes. "He has been the best father I could've asked for. I regret not being close with him sooner in my life. Please tell him.... tell him...."
"Amberly, he knows. Trust me. He knows, and I will remind him once again." I put a hand on her shoulder. "Please make sure Gerad and Logan get here quickly. And hug them as tightly as you can, once for me, and once for your father. Tell them how much we love them, how much we will miss them, and how proud we are of them both."
"Of course," she murmurs. With that, she hugs me one last time, kisses my cheek, and walks over to the glass where her father is. My weak legs take me to Xander, and he whispers to the kids to join their mother.
"Please take care of her," I beg. "She's going to hurt. This family is everything to her. Please, please, just make sure she is okay."
"I swear, your daughter will never be alone. I will take care of her. She will be okay." He pulls me in for a short embrace. "Thank you for the way you raised her. Thank you for giving me the single most important thing in my life."
I can't help but let a tear escape. "And thank you for being so good to the most important thing in my life, Xander. She is lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have her. Never let her go."
"I would never think of it."
I walk over to the glass, kiss my grandchildren on their foreheads, and squeeze Amberly's hand.
There's no going back now.
I lift my chin, roll my shoulders back, and walk like a queen to the entrance of Maxon's isolation room, reminding myself that he needs me with every step. Xander and Amberly pull their children back, keeping themselves a good distance from the room. The doctors do the same, covered head to toe in their protective equipment. For a moment, I doubt myself; should I be wearing that, too? Am I being selfish for doing this? Should I be doing everything I can to keep myself alive, even when my husband is dying of this horrible disease?
And then I remind myself: together, forever. Through sickness and health. I want to be there with him, fully, not with the knowledge that he will pass on and I will stay. I want to hold his hand and feel his skin, lay with him, and hold him through his last breaths... even if it means my own last breaths will soon follow.
With one final breath, I open the door and walk into the room. I immediately hear the door slam behind me, followed by immense silence - so quiet, it's almost deafening. Swallowing hard, I move towards the bed. Maxon seems to be sleeping fitfully, looking weaker by the minute. I take his hand in my own and let another tear fall.
"My love," I whisper.
Unexpectedly, he opens his eyes. At first, he seems confused, as if he's not sure why he's here. But then his eyes find my own, and reality hits him.
"America," he says with a cough. "What - what are you doing here? What's going on? You can't be... you can't be here."
I sit on the edge of his bed, looking down at him. "I had to. I had to be here."
He struggles to sit up. I hold the back of his head, supporting him. After he takes a sip of water from the glass I got from the table next to us, he sighs. He doesn't even try to hide the concern, sadness, and frustration in his eyes.
"My dear," he starts, "I'm dying, and you know that. And now.... and now you will too."
"I couldn't let you be alone." I can barely get the words out. This can't be happening. This can't be real.
He turns his head towards the glass wall, and I follow his gaze. My heart shatters into a million pieces; Xander is looking back at us as Amberly sobs into his shoulder. She looks so broken, so defeated. A wave of guilt passes over me as I realize what I've done.
"Maybe it's not too late," Maxon murmurs. "Maybe if you leave now, you won't catch it. We can say goodbye, and you can live and be with our family."
I can tell the words are like a knife digging into his chest. He doesn't want to be alone.
"I am not leaving you." To make my decision final, I lean in and kiss him softly, as if anything more would break him.
"America..."
"Maxon." I hold his head in my hands and stroke his cheek with my thumb. "I love you. I know what I'm doing and I know what it means. Our children have each other and they have their own families to take care of now. We taught them everything we could've."
"They'll miss their mother dearly," he replies, shaking his head.
"They'll miss their father too, yes." Biting my lip, I plead, "Maxon, I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. We've lived a good life, we raised strong and independent children, and I'm ready. If you're leaving, I want to leave too."
I can practically see the conflict happening in his mind. To the very end, he only ever thinks about his family and everyone else's wellbeing, but I can tell in this moment he doesn't want to go through this alone.
Tiredly, he lays his head back on the pillow, and pulls me down to lay next to him. "I know you sacrificed everything for me. Thank you."
"I would do anything for you, love."
We spend a long time like that, and before I fall into a deep sleep, I find myself replaying in my mind the unforgettable moments of my life with Maxon. I see Maxon's young, handsome face, I hear the rain, and I feel his body pressed against mine as we danced in the rain as young people in love.
-
I'm woken up by a loud banging on the glass. Confused, I rub the exhaustion out of my eyes and turn towards the noise. I jump out of the bed when I see the person standing behind the wall.
"Gerad!" I run up to where he's standing, but my excitement is quickly dampened when I see the expression on his face. Fear, disbelief, and sadness.
"Mom?" he says, his eyes filling with tears. "Mom, what's going on?"
"Honey..." I furrow my eyebrows, unsure of how to explain it.
"Are you sick? I got a call from Amberly in the middle of the night saying Dad was dying and you were also going to die soon, and that I had to come as soon as possible, and she was a mess... Are you sick?"
I swallow, biting my lip. "Not yet," I admit. "But I will be soon enough."
He shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. "How could this happen? I thought everything was under control. I should've sent more help. I -"
"Gerad, baby, stop." I put my hand up to the glass and he does the same. "This is not your fault. I don't know how it got into the palace, but it did. Your father got sick and his condition declined fairly quickly. I didn't want him to die alone."
He hits his hand on the glass again, letting out a noise I can't even recognize. "So you're leaving us alone instead?"
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to push away the guilt. "You know you're not alone. You have a beautiful family of your own, and you still have your siblings -"
"Mom, it's not the same. I need you, and I need Dad. Who am I supposed to go to when I have a question about ruling? Or about how to be a good parent? Or a good husband?"
Taking a deep breath, I smile at him. "Luckily, you are an amazing ruler, an amazing parent, and an amazing husband. There's only so much we can pass on to you, and we've already done that. You've been doing the rest completely on your own."
He starts crying, a sight I have very rarely seen. "I just can't believe it. I can't believe this is happening."
"I thought the same thing, baby," I reply, resting my forehead against the glass. "It doesn't seem real."
"You seem fine, though," he comments. "Is there any chance you'll survive? Or you're immune, or something?"
I sigh. "I've already discussed with the doctor. He says there's a very low chance of that happening. I just don't think the effects have set in yet, it hasn't been that long."
"Oh... Um, how is Dad doing?"
"Not well. He's been sleeping a lot, but when he's not he's extremely weak. They think it won't be too long until..." I don't finish the sentence, but he knows what I mean.
Suddenly, the door to the hospital wing flies open. Logan runs towards us, looking frantic.
"Ah, all three of my babies are here." Amberly, who was sleeping in one of the chairs outside of the room, wakes up to all the commotion. After seeing both of her brothers, she jumps up.
Both Logan and Amberly join Gerad at the glass. I kiss my fingers and press them to the glass in front of Logan. "Hi, honey."
"What's going on? You're both sick? Is there anything we can do?"
I shake my head. "Just stay with each other. And stay here with us, if you'd like. I would love to see you and talk to you."
"Of course." He turns to Amberly and embraces her tightly. Gerad joins in, and I raise my hand to my chest. It breaks my heart that I'll never be able to hug my children like that again, but I know they'll have each other for years and years to come.
"America?"
The voice is weak, but still clearly Maxon's. I turn around and see him sitting up in his bed. For a moment, just a moment, he looks like himself. Not sick, not dying - just my husband and our past king.
"Hey," I say, rushing to his side. "Are you okay?"
"Actually..." he narrows his eyes. "I do feel okay. Better."
"Better?" I raise my eyebrows. "Well... would you like to talk to everyone?"
He looks up, beaming when he sees our children.
"Could you help me over there?"
"Of course." I move one of the chairs in our room closer to the wall, and then support him as he walks over to it. When I sit him down, he groans. I can only imagine the pain he's in.
"Daddy!" Amberly cries, pressing her hand into the glass. "Daddy, I miss you."
"I miss you too, honey." Maxon smiles tiredly and blows her a kiss. It's clear every movement is still a strain for him, but he wasn't lying - he seems better today.
"Gerad, Logan... my sons. How are you?"
Gerad pulls up a chair across from his father and sighs. "I'm worried about you. Both of you." His eyes move back and forth between Maxon and I.
"I know. But I'm more concerned about you three. Are you holding up okay?" He eyes all three of them, worry lines forming on his forehead.
"Honestly, not really," Logan admits. Amberly and Gerad nod in agreement. "It gives us hope that Mom seems totally unaffected, but we know that's probably not permanent."
Amberly wrings her hands nervously."Losing you both is something we just weren't prepared for."
"I'm sorry, my loves." I sit down next to Maxon, holding his hand in mine. "I don't want to leave you. But I felt that it's time. I am at peace knowing you have each other."
Maxon squeezes my hand, and I look over at him, into his eyes. I find myself thinking about the first time he showed me the scars on his back. I remember how some of them were there because he was protecting me. I remember saying I love you for them, and how thrilled he was that I finally said it.
I remember when he laid on the floor, dying, during the final rebel attack of our selection. The day he almost announced that he was marrying Kriss.
I'll love you until my very last breath. Every beat of my heart is yours. I don't want to die without you knowing that.
I close my eyes, remembering everything he said that day. Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyway.
I often find myself regretting moments of my life where I didn't treat him as well as he deserved. Or when I didn't make it clear to him exactly how much I loved him and how much I needed him. I truly hopes he understands that I really did always love him to the fullest extent possible, and I could not have lived this life without him.
"Where's your head at?"
Maxon's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I rest my head on his shoulder, holding him close. "You. I'm always thinking about you."
Kissing my forehead, he murmurs, "And I, you."
For the rest of the day, the five of us do our best to forget the current situation and focus on each other. We recall the funniest and best moments on all of the selections we've gone through, all the crazy things that have happened in our lives, and all our favorite things about each other. From time to time, someone's spouse or child joins us, but at the end of the night, the five of us remain.
Our three beautiful children are all curled up together, quietly taking in the moment. I sit as close to Maxon as I possibly can, and when the conversation slowly fades out, I begin writing.
"What are you writing?" Maxon asks in a hushed voice.
"Letters." I smile sadly. "To all of them, for when I'm not here to speak these words."
"What a lovely idea." He squeezes my shoulder gently.
After clearing his throat, Maxon says, "Hey, you three should probably get some sleep, huh?"
They roll their eyes in response and laugh softly.
"I just want you all to know, I love you dearly. You have given me more in this life than you can even imagine. Happiness, love, family, support, passion... everything. Everything I have is because of you and your amazing mother. Thank you for making me proud every single day. Thank you for being here now." He pauses. "Even when I am not here to tell you, never forget that you are amazing. You are strong and independent, even when you do not feel like it. You are amazing wives and husbands, and even better parents. You will pass your knowledge on to your children and they will make you proud just as you have made me proud.
"I could not have wished for better children. No one is perfect, but you three are as close as it gets. I love you all more than words can say. When you miss me, know that I am still with you in spirit. You are never alone, especially since you have each other.
"You all will achieve everything you put your mind to. You will watch your family grow and you will feel happiness you never thought possible. When it gets hard.... remember that it gets better.
"Again, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you for everything."
Everyone is crying by the end of his speech, and I pull him close. "What was that for, darling?"
He swallows, looking nervous. "People get better before they get worse for good, right?"
-
He was right. In the coming days, his conditioned declined rapidly. And, unfortunately, so did mine. Even faster than his did, according to the doctors. Within a couple days, I was feeling the same symptoms that he was. We could barely move or talk. I could sense our children's presence outside of the room, but Maxon and I remained in our bed, unable to speak with them.
I can feel the life draining from Maxon more and more every day, but I am completely powerless. All I can do is be there and hold him, so that's what I do. When Maxon is sleeping but I'm not, I continue to write the letters to my children. They include any last advice I have for them, words of love and appreciation, and my favorite memories of them.
Most of the time, though, we're both in and out of sleep. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference between reality and my dreams. My head is filled with a stream of memories from my life, with images of Maxon and I together, with moments my heart was so filled with love as I watched my children grow.
Maxon stirs suddenly and squeezes my hand, and even in my half-delirious state, I know that's real and not a dream.
"Remember when I told you how I would love you until my very last breath?" he whispers, struggling to get the words out.
"Of course."
"I didn't lie. I loved you every single second since that day. Since the day we met, really." He sighs. "Every beat of my heart was for you. There was never anyone else. Just you, America."
"I know, my love. I know." I stretch to kiss his cheek. "My heart beats for you, too. It always has, even when I didn't show it. Please know that I have always loved you more than I thought possible. I regret not showing you that sooner, and for all the mistakes I made along the way. Please forgive me."
"I forgive you. It's okay, beautiful." His voice gets softer with every word. "I can see it."
"See what?"
"I love you, America."
"Maxon?"
He takes a shallow breath, and then no more after that. I look up at his face, knowing in my heart that he's gone. For a moment, I'm stunned - just like that, Maxon is... gone.
And then, the grief floods over me. I let out a strangled cry, and bury myself into his chest. It doesn't take too long for his body to start feeling cold, sending chills down my spine when I notice.
But soon enough, I stop feeling it. I stop feeling everything. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness. I go numb.
I look up at his face one more time before everything goes dark.
-
My eyes fly open. For a moment, I can't remember anything. Who I am, where I am, what happened.
And then everything floods back into my mind. Maxon. The hospital bed. His last breath. And... and then mine.
As slowly as I can, I sit upright. My fingers brush against the soft sheets under me. The bed I'm laying in is large and covered in white. In fact, the entire room is. White walls, white decoration, white curtains, and a white floor. It immediately reminds me of Maxon and I's royal suite in the palace, but everything has been painted white.
I crawl out of bed, feeling light. When I pass a large mirror, I stop in my tracks. My hair is long, voluminous, and bright red. Just as it was when I was eighteen. My entire body resembles my younger self - thin, healthy, and young. I can't help but smile at my reflection.
And then, a single thought consumes my mind: Maxon. A tear makes its way down my cheek as I replay our last moments together. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness I felt when he passed. His hand feeling so utterly cold. My strangled cry when I realized he was gone.
Shuttering, I try to get the thought out of my mind. I walk across the room, the tile cold on my bare feet. My white nightgown flows around me as I tip toe towards the door, wondering what could be on the other side. Without much hesitation, I push them open.
And there he is.
My husband. The love of my life. Maxon.
He's dressed in a loose white shirt and beige pants, revealing his young, fit body. His blonde hair is messier than I've ever seen it, but he doesn't seem to care. He has the brightest smile on his face as he looks at me.
"I was waiting for you," he says quietly.
Without taking the time to respond, I run towards him and jump into his arms. He holds me tightly, spinning me around once before putting me down.
Almost in disbelief, I put a hand up to his face. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes.
"It is you," I whisper. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him as passionately as ever. And the kiss feels exactly as perfect as it did when we first fell in love.
"I love you." I can't contain my smile.
"I love you too, my dear." He gently takes my hand and starts walking away from the room. "I always will."
-
Hey everyone... after 7 years, there you go. The last chapter :'(
I really wanted them to go at the same time so neither of them had to live without each other. And I wanted everyone in the family to be there before they died, so I hope those things make this less sad!
But Maxerica's story is finally finished. I stole the ending from Reign, not gonna lie. I love that show!!
Thank you ALL for reading this story. Writing this has changed my life in a way I hadn't even imagined it would. For those of you that kept reading after YEARS of me being away - thank you. You're the best.
So much love ❤️