''Shit just shit shit shit' Jugkook wiped the sweat on his forehead in contrast to the weather.
He forcefully ran his hand through his disheveled hair. 'what the fuck I was even thinking while...'
'It's so embarrassing what he might be thinking? no, he already thinks that I'm so desperate and now he is seriously thinking that I can't control my urges, shit he told me to wait at least.'
He unconsciously started biting his nails. 'He was looking amused and shocked ofcourse.'
Jungkook's heart was getting crazy minute by minute as he stood there overthinking about the matter well-currently he knows that it is useless but that's exactly what he is doing. He placed both of his hands on the railing of the terrace.
As he is not quite familiar with Tae's massive house so he ran up to the rooftop, at least to run away from the awkward situation he created.
He knew this was a little okay in being in a relationship...
'wait...are we even in a relationship?' Jungkook raised his head and stared at nothing, he gulped down at the thought. what if Tae doesn't exactly want to.. 'no he literally got emo when he saved me. I'm confused!'
Jungkook straightened when heard footsteps approaching him followed by a soft voice, "kookie you are here..."
He turned around only to meet a pair of worried eyes.
"um yeah.." Jungkook said embarrassingly.
Taehyung sighed as he came closer to Jungkook. "I was worried when I couldn't find you downstairs after...you suddenly ran away."
'suddenly? wasn't it quite obvious why I ran away?'
"oh nothing just.." He looked at the sky with an awe face, just to avoid this conversation
Taehyung's intense gaze followed Jungkook's movement before he himself looked at the city lights.
"We both know there is something bugging you." He softly asked and tapped Jungkook's forehead.
"bugging? Ah no why?" He smiled to convince Taehyung , of course he didn't try to run when he was about to jump on the elder...but Taehyung just stared at him with an unbothered expression.
"I guess t-there is but let's talk about it afterwards.." He cheerfully tried to walk away but unsuccessful because Tae grabbed his hands and back hugged him.
"It was because of me you ran away right?"
That was the thing Jungkook didn't want to hear, he felt it was his fault and of course there must be a reason why Tae said to wait but him.
"kook say something." Tae pleaded because more or less he was anxious to see Jungkook's behavior.
Jungkook's mind drifted away from his thoughts as he cleared his mouth. "No..not because of you- but um myself.."
Taehyung raised an eyebrow and hummed questioningly.
Jungkook looked at his shoes, even though he knew the elder can't see his flustered face but still he felt he needed to hide it.
"I-i know like, you kinda just d-don't want to rush and-but this act of mine was, I'm sorry if you feel awkward or annoyed because of me." Jungkook didn't plan to say any of these things but he just let his mouth do the talking but the thing was, he said this from all his heart.
"I see.." Taehyung smiled at Jungkook's neck and a shiver ran through Jungkook' spine.
Taehyung carefully turned the embarrassed bunny and placed his hands on Jungkook's chin to lift the letters face as Jungkook still tried to avoid his gaze but due to his fail Taehyung pushed his lips on Jungkook's, making the younger surprised.
Surely they had kissed many times now but Jungkook still felt the same spark whenever their lips touched and Taehyung didn't feel anything less.
Jungkook leaned in closer and Taehyung dived in the kiss completely before pulling away.
Jungkook placed his hand over his chest in order to stop the further unstable heartbeats. Taehyung just looked at Jungkook with a satisfied look as he took deep breaths.
"It was hot.."
Jungkook blinked not knowing what Taehyung meant. But the city lights falling on Tae's face was making him look ethereal as for the fact he actually is.
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked, voice still being a little rasped.
"The little act you pull earlier..was quite hot, kook"
Jungkook widened his eyes in surprise...really not expecting this, he thought he would get a disappointed look on Taehyung's face as he didn't wait.
Taehyung breathed out and touched his forehead with Jungkook's.
"The thing is...you can't wait is such..a turn on for me baby"
Jungkook instantly stiffened up, thinking probably he heard it wrong.
Taehyung laughed in response and looked at Jungkook with an adorable expression. "You are still the same kook...you still get stiffed whenever I say something to you."
It took a little time to process what Taeyung actually meant regarding their past.
'But how did Taehyung know? did he used to notice-Oh wait he said himself he used to but..'
"What do you mean by 'i'm sorry kook'?" Jungkook spoke, pulling him out of his mini trance.
"what?" Taehyung obviously didn't understand.
"Your friend, Jimin hyung said to me.." he stopped to think if he should continue or not.
"What did he say?" Taehyung asked.
"That- that in the US you.." Jungkook's voice lowered word by word.
"That I?" Taehyung crossed his hands.
Jugkook sighed as there was no turning back."Well he said to me that you were feeling..guilty" He almost whispered.
"I can't understand kook?"
"gosh you really wanna make me say..?" Jungkook sighed.
"uh yeah..?" Taehyung said absolutely being clueless where this conversation was even going.
Jungkook sighed again. "Why you wrote in our school yearbook under my picture that you are sorry?"
Taehyung blinked a few times, not registering what Jungkook meant until it clicked. "How do you know?"
"Jimin hyung told me."
"How did he know?" Taehyun tilted his head for sure he knows that Jimin doesn't touch his things without permission or shits, so how did he actually know?
Jungkook smiled a bit now seeing Tae all tensed up. "He said you were hugging it while sleeping and he took it so you would be comfortable um..then he saw that. It's fine if you wanna change the topic." Jungkook added the last line as he felt that Taehyung might not want to talk about his past, after all not everyone is comfortable and he of course respected that.
"no since you asked i-i'll just.. uh" Tae patted Jungkook's head. "Let's sit over there first?" He pointed at the chairs over their right and Jungkook nodded.
Both of them sat in the chair and Taehyung made sure that Jungkook was not feeling cold.
"What you wanted to say..?" Jungkook asked when Taehyung was playing with his fingers and looked at the sky.
Taehyung turned to Jungkook and sighed.
"If you are thinking you will filter your thoughts..don't do that unless you want to." Jungkook smiled.
Taehyung nodded and smiled cause that was exactly what he was going to do.
"Ask me a question..I'll answer accordingly." Taehyung said.
Jungkook raised an eyebrow.
Taehyung - "I'm confused where to start so it will be better if you ask me what you wanted to know."
Jungkook sighed. "Okay so when you changed?"
Taehyung ceased his brows. "Um..After shower?"
Jungkook - "Ah.. not your clothes-" Jungkook stopped seeing Taehyung giggling. "You know what I mean..."
Taehyung bobbed Jungkook's nose. "I love this thing of yours"
Jungkook- "answer Tae..."
Taehyung smiled "I don't know myself but maybe when I left for the USA?"
Jungkook looked at Taehyung with hopeful eyes.
Taehyung- "No..maybe when I met my friends in the USA?"
Jungkook tilted his head in confusion.
Taehyung- "I think when I joined the force?"
Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows
Taehyung - "Maybe when I came back...and I saw you" he smiled his boxy and Jungkook's mouth was open in shock. Taehyung tapped Jungkook's chin in order to close his mouth.
Jungkook asked in confusion. "So which one is true?"
Taehyung- "none.."
Jungkook- "what?"
Taehyung- "I know..It was when I realized I liked you kook"
Jungkook just looked at Taehyung...
It felt so surreal for him to experience, to feel these emotions, to listen to Taehyung saying all this about him.
"Then...then what was about the school year book one?" Jungkook softly asked.
Taehyung bit his lips and sighed.
"I...felt awful" He looked at Jungkook.
Jungkook stayed silent for Taehyung to continue as he placed his hand over Taehyung's.
Taehyung smiled at the contact and nodded when he looked up again at Jeon.
"I honestly felt like I was cheating on you." Taehyung said.
Jungkook- "cheating on me..." he blinked.
"Those pretty eyes of yours made me quite confused and shocked, that you have feelings for me.." Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook's cheek, closer to his eyes.
"Whenever I used to notice you I always saw that you were already looking at me-" Jungkook embarrassingly smiled and looked down making Taehyung to chuckle.
"Hey, it's fine, it's not a bit embarrassing..not even at that time." Hinting about their school time.
Jungkook softly hit Taehyung's arm making the latter to giggle even more.
"Just continue please.." he slowly hugged him as he got even more comfortable.
"Aye aye captain." Taehyung teased and Jungkook let out a whining, remembering how he said it in the car earlier and Taehyung continued.
"So..um yeah you used to see me and although for a few times I thought to say you to stop stare at me.. but-" he laughed when he heard Jungkook mumbling something like 'oh fuck'.
"But I reconsider the thought as I thought that it's just a phase you are going through and its all natural."
Jungkook huffed. "Thanks for saving me my understanding b-Taebear." He was just going to call him boyfriend...but he remembered Taehyung and him weren't together and they didn't have any labels.
Taehyung patted his hair in response. "So I thought in a few days it will be over. Though Honestly it was quite creepy but yeah..it was.."
Jungkook- "Okay I understand..stop teasing me.."
"Okay okay baby" Taehyung nuzzled.
"I won't tease you..now I'll get serious alright?"
Jungkook nodded instantly and Taehyung again chuckled.
"The things instead got more subtle like my friends also started to take notice. Although they used to tease me but never ever they said anything about you cause they also knew it's all fine. But later it was already 2 years and I was really frustrated because I couldn't tell you to stop crushing on me or confront you cause I felt it was your decision whether you want to confess or not."
Jungkook listened carefully but stayed silent as he hugged him closer.
Taehyung continued. "I was already known as a bad boy because according to others I never smiled or showed affection, which was weird."
"Tae..." Jungkook raised his head from Taehyung's crook and looked at him.
"It's fine." Taehyung assured him.
"I'm glad you are sharing this with me" Jungkook leaned again, completely embracing the warmth.
Taehyung hummed. "At... first you were crushing on me hard and second I was already known as a bad boy which i wasn't but as the time passed I became like that...only"
Jungkook rubbed Taehyung's thigh to show affection.
"You were always the little sunshine of our school and...it hurted me to just make you hurt cause I knew I won't be getting into dating cause I, being in force was always my dream and so when a girl proposed to me I accepted it."
Jungkook- "Park Shi Hyun?"
Taehyung nodded. "I was such a Dumb."
Jungkook- "nope you are not."
Taehyung smiled as the younger got defensive.
Jungkook- "So..the real reason for which you didn't accepted me was because-"
Taehyung- "because you never confessed to me and it would have been awkward if I just asked you to confess to me ..both for you and for me too. And second was.. I have already been accepted in the States."
Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows "And you're never in love with that girl?"
Taehyung stayed silent and sighed.
Jungkook was also silent.
"I..wasn't. I already told her that I don't like her but she insisted and I literally thought about.." he smiled. "The consequences. Then the next day I finally said yes to her."
Jungkook sighed. "It was never official?"
Taehyung- "not from my side.."
Jungkook- "So..you used her?" He asked carefully.
Taehyung pulled back and made Jungkook look at him. "I didn't...I already made it clear but she wanted to. So I thought either way she will be happy and..you will be able to get over with me."
Jungkook looked down and bit his lips.
Taehyung softened at his expression. "Now I was such a dumb right?"
Jungkook shook his head and smiled looking up again. "Nah.."
Taehyung got confused.
"If not for that...then How can I proudly say that I still loved you even when you were committed and I waited for you..to be mine although at some points I totally gave up..but you didn't get away from my mind."
Jungkook leaned and softly kissed Taehyung's cheek. "Don't overthink I'm not sad..I-I like to see the bright light.. cause I'm finally with you."
Taehyung awe'd at this words.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you hurt kook." Taehyung touched Jungkook's forehead and didn't move. Jungkook placed his hands on Taehyung's waist.
"It's fine..Tae. after what I heard from Jimin hyung you were suffering too"
Jungkook suddenly remembered what exactly Jimin said to him.
Jungkook strengthened and Taehyung moved his face back from Jungkook's head and looked at well illuminated face of Jungkook's.
"By sorry...you were guilty because you didn't liked me back?" Jungkook stated.
Taehyung sighed. It was exactly that.
He nodded.
Jungkook felt tears bulge out from his eyes. He quickly pulled Taehyung in a tight hug. "It's fine alright..It's okay..Don't feel bad, please"
Taehyung closed his eyes as he was pulled in a hug.
"So you mean..I was always right?" Jungkook softly smiled and asked.
Taehyung- "about what baby?" His voice was heavy and deep.
"That I always knew you were a big softy inside?" Jungkook chuckled but he was on the verge of tears.
"What do you think?" Taehyung murmured.
"I think- no I'm of course right." Jungkook rubbed Taehyung's back. "Shit..How mean I am to think that you were all fine without me. I thought I was the only one suffering..shit"
Taehyung didn't say anything as he was already being comforted by Jungkook's warmth.
"I..thought you even forgot me.I was really surprised when you just said my name." Jungkook breathed. "I thought maybe you didn't even know my name.
"How can I not.. whenever I used to go somewhere there at least for once I used to hear your name from someone even if you were not present there."
Jungkook shook his head laughing. "Oh god why life is so twisted goodness"
"I know right" Taehyung said. "But you know what.."
"Yeah?" Jungkook responded.
"Guess when I was sure you liked me?" Taehyung asked.
Jungkook was somewhat waiting for this to know. "W-when?"
"I still remember when you came to our class to distribute and the way you turned back and the expression on your face" he pulled away from the hug as he was shaking from giggling so much. Jungkook was embarrassingly laughing too. "It was like you were looking so pale and when you ran away after bumping, even the teacher was surprised to see such behaviour."
Jungkook wiped his happy tears from his eyes and another hand was on his stomach to stop himself from laughing. "Look it was really not my fault okay. I-I was really shocked to see you and you looked so scarily handsome. Plus you were so close to me. It was for the first time I got to see you.
"And same for me too see your expression so close." Taehyung teased Jungkook and the latter smacked Taehyung's arm.
Taehyung placed his hand over Jungkook's shoulder and pulled him closer while Jungkook laid his head on Taehyung's shoulder.
Both of them were silently smiling and enjoying each other's company while star gazing as their smile was still in their face.
"It's so weird nah?" Jungkook asked. "Like everything just changed in such a short time..but for this moment we both..waited so long."
Taehyung hummed. "I'm glad at least it came."
"At least...it came" Jungkook said. "You are right."
"Let's have dinner now? I'm hungry"
Taehyung said.
Jungkook smiled. "Hey hungry...I'm Jungkook.." he chuckled and looked at Taehyung's face, he was already looking at him. "Nice to meet you.."
Taehyung laughed. "You naughty brat, come here" he placed his hand on Jungkook's elbow pulling him closer and kissed Jungkook passionately.
Jungkook squeaked a bit but gave in, tugging his fingers on Taehyung's loose hair strands. Taehyung completely concentrated on the kiss. When Jungkook suddenly pulled away. Taehyung waited for Jungkook to say something, as expected Jugkook soon murmured. "T-ae..I-i wanna confess to..you."
Taehyung smiled softly. "Baby bun, you have already confessed to me."
Jungkook softly shook his head and nuzzled Taehyung's crook. Tae patted him on his back as he felt Jungkook was getting nervous all of a sudden. "No..to be honest, It was- next to nothing I had f-felt about you." Jungkook gulped subconsciously.
Taehyung was silent for a moment, he suddenly just remembered their second night when Jungkook had an emotional breakdown. He thought what might have triggered him to think that he was on the verge of cutting himself? 'Wait, is it because of me? Taehyung widened his eyes as this thought passed his mind.
"Tae?" Jungkook spoke nervously thinking why the older one was not responding.
Taehyung flinched at Jungkookie's voice. "huh yeah?" Taehyung looked at Jungkook's orb's already looking at him, he was reminded of what Jungkook had said earlier. "oh yeah please say.."
Jungkook frowned because Taehyung seemed...unenthusiastic. 'Is he not interested or bored with me already?"
Taehyung once again got lost in his thoughts even while still watching Jungkook's doe eyes. 'Is he going to say how much I had hurt him? Is he is going to blame me now?'
Jungkook's broken face again pictured in his mind, that How just once sentence it took to make Jungkook completely broke down.
'I don't know and I don't care'
Taehyung's heart shattered when he heard his own voice in his mind, 'At Least I shouldn't have said that..why did I?' He sighed visibly. Meanwhile the younger was already on verge of tears because Taehyung just sighed. 'is he really not interested in me? then why did he...'
Jungkook bite his lower lip and finally thought to give another try, a last one.
"T-tae.." It accidently came out as a whisper as expected cause Jungkook was already overwhelmed but it was surprisingly enough to pull Taehyung out of his trance.
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