Kabanata 14
Strangers
Hindi nanalo si Alas sa akin nang hilahin niya ako patungo sa kotse niya para lang magkaroon kami ng pagkakataon mag-usap.
I don't seriously know what else we need to talk about. If it's about the deal, clearly, it's done and I don't need to ask for his opinion about ending it anymore. Nagawa ko ng itulak si Kris palayo nang hindi hinihingi ang tulong niya. While he gave in to Trish that would make her conclude that we're not in a relationship. That it's all just for a show.
I don't have business with him anymore so might as well go back to what we were before - strangers.
I was telling the truth when I told Alas that I'll be at the Valkyrie - that's my first plan as soon as I get home. I want to have a taste of Sangria. Mabuti na lang rin talaga at hindi na siya nagpumilit pa na ihatid ako. Hindi rin naman ako magpapapilit.
I could have asked Zadriel to fetch me from the airport but I know that he's busy with Tate right now. Ayokong nakakaistorbo sa kasayahan ng kakambal ko.
As soon as I entered the prestigious club, I went to the bar counter and ordered a glass of Sangria. Like how I expected, the place is full packed. Hindi naman nawawalan ng tao ang lugar na ito. Lalo na ngayong weekend.
"Sangria for Miss Anya," Kenneth said as soon as he placed the wine glass in front of me. He had known me for months now. We're not friends but at least he got some nice sense of humor. He's a friendly bartender, I must say. "You've been absent for weeks now."
I smiled. "Busy with work."
"Kris is always here. Palaging lasing at minsan ay gumawa pa ng gulo. He looks devastated."
"Let him. I'm sure you already know what happened to us."
He nodded and flipped a bottle before pouring its liquid on a glass.
"Yeah. The man had the guts to cheat on you, huh?"
Natawa ako. "Exactly my poi-"
"Whiskey shots, please."
Kusa akong napatingin sa tabi ko. A sigh escaped my lips when I saw Alas beside me, sitting on a high chair while staring into my eyes.
"I'm stalking you this time..." he said.
My eyes narrowed into slits as I shook my head. I held my wine glass and tasted a bit of my drink. I had a smell of its fruity scent before the taste drove from my throat down my stomach.
"What do you really want, Alas? Hindi ko maintindhan kung bakit gusto mong mag-usap pa tayo." Despite the loud booming noise around us, I still managed to say it in a very calm voice.
"Hindi ko rin maintindhan kung bakit ayaw mo akong kausapin. We were okay a few days ago. Did I do something that offend you?"
I glanced at him as I slowly swirled the Sangria on my glass. "Aside from your idiocy, wala naman na."
His lips pursed at my remarks. Mas lalo akohg ngumisi bago siya inirapan.
"Stop insulting me, Anya. You left our house without telling me. Didn't even answer my calls after. Are you jealous?"
Mabilis ko siyang nilingon saka tinaasan ng kilay. "Where the fuck did you get that question?"
"Umalis ka ng bahay ilang minuto matapos ko ihatid si Trish. You saw us, right?"
"And that made me think that the deal is already done, Alas. What's the point of continuing it when you have already gave in to her?"
His shoulders heaved up as he sighed. He looked into somewhere else, bit his lowerlip and nodded his head. Nang tingnan niya akong muli ay napuno na ng emosyon ang mga mata niya.
"Was that scene made you angry?"
"You keep on saying that I'm angry when clearly, I'm not. Naiinis lang ako dahil-"
Shit. Bakit nga ba ako naiinis? Wala namang dahilan para mainis ako sa kaniya, o magalit. I keep on saying to myself that what I saw that day was nothing to me. Na maaaring naiinis ako sa kaniya dahil ang tanga niya. Dahil nagpapakatanga siya sa babaeng paulit-ulit siyang sinasaktan. He's too much for a girl like Trish who made him feel like a trash.
I wanted to get mad at him for giving everything to her to the point of not leaving even a bit to himself. I want to punch him on his face and tell him to atleast have some self worth!
Damn it. Kailan pa ako nagkaroon ng pakielam sa kaniya? Ano naman sa akin kung magpakatanga siya roon? Maybe it's just really unusual to see a man like him lose his worth just because he loved.
"Dahil?" ulit ni Alas ma pumutol sa pagiisip ko.
Lumunok ako, hindi agad nakaapuhap ng dapat isagot. I gritted my teeth and eyed him with full intensity.
"Dahil tanga ka. Sobrang tanga mo."
He chuckled. "You keep on saying that and I couldn't even get mad at you," naiiling na sabi niya habang may ngiti pa rin sa labi. "Am I still an idiot if I already gave up and finally let her go?"
"What?"
Ininom niya ang alak sa harapan niya at pinangalahatian ito. His lips became moist as he diverted his eyes to me and smiled wryly.
"She didn't want me anymore, Zeph. I'm tired of fighting for myself. If she still loves me, she won't let me beg for her love," he chuckled. "I've had enough."
Nagkatitigan kami ilang sandali bago ako naunang nag-iwas. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko magagawang titigan siya kabila ng lungkot na lumalangoy sa mga mata niya. I've seen him being sad a lot of times and his eyes never deny it. But tonight is different. It's too much.
"Should we celebrate, hun? I finally woke up from my idiocy." He laughed but I know it's not genuine.
"Don't try to pretend-"
"I'm not. I'm trying to accept that she will no longer be part of my life from now on."
Pasimple akong humugot ng hangin. The ambiance suddenly feel heavy. I sip from my drink and sighed. Aaminin kong nawala ng bahagya ang pagkainis ko sa kaniya at napalitan ng awa. I slowly put my gaze to him. He's staring at his drink, serious but dark. He looks like a warrior, sitting on a corner - badly wounded and bruised but trying very hard to heal on his own.
How I wish every man is like you, Alas. Sana lahat ng lalaki ay kagaya mo na totoo at matindi magmahal.
"O to the M to the G! Rainbow!"
Sabay kaming napabaling ni Alas sa likuran ko nang marinig ang matining na boses na iyon. My eyes widened when I saw Tate looking happily at Alas. But what really caught my attention was my twin brother who's also looking at me - curiosity was roaming around his perilous eyes.
"Zeph? Hala! Kayo?" usisa pa ni Tate nang ako naman ang makita. "Omg! Nahuli ako sa balita! Ito kasing si Zadriel wala ng ginawa kung hindi ang solohin ako sa dilim."
Halos mapapikit ako ng mariin matapos marinig iyon sa bibig ni Tate. She's really the woman who would tell the world what's going on with her but you won't find her annoying. She's too loud but honestly fun to be with.
"Hi, Tate." it's Alas who's now embracing Tate.
Don't tell me close sila?
"And what is my sister doing here with Trajano?" si Zadriel, nakalapit na sa akin nang hindi ko namamalayan.
Inirapan ko siya. "Tsismoso ka talaga."
He chuckled and then suddenly placed his arm on my shoulder. "You have some story for me?"
"I don't tell stories."
"Action speaks louder than words, of course." Muli siyang natawa.
Nahagip ng mga mata ko ang biglang pagbaling sa amin ni Tate. Namilog ang mga mata niya, tila nagugulat pa.
Ano na naman?
"Magkamukha kayo! Iisa ba magulang nyo?"
"Damn this woman." It came out as a whisper from Zadriel.
"Did my brother already give you your dose of medicine, Tate?" I asked, trying not to look at Alas who I know is staring at me.
She giggled and even winked at me. "Oo naman. Mesherep nge, eh."
"We have to go. Baka kung ano pa ang lumabas sa bibig nito." sabat ni Zadriel saka ako mabilis na hinalikan sa pisngi at tumayo na.
Ngumisi ako nang hilahin niya si Tate sa kamay. She looks clueless as my brother pulled her out. I finally glanced at Alas who's also looking at them with a little smile on his lips.
Nang lingunin niya ako ay sandaling naglapat ang mga mata namin.
"Sila?" tanong niya.
Nagkibit balikat ako. "Maybe."
He smirked and nodded his head. "He'd surely love Tate's character as much as I do."
"You seem very close to her," I said. "Did you two become..."
Naupo siya sa high stool, ngayon ay nakatalikod na sa bar counter katulad ko. Natawa siya, napapailing.
"No. We've been friends since we're little. Kami nila Tobias at Sunshine ang palaging magkakasama noon. We're very close with the Follosco's."
Tumango-tango ako, hindi na nagtanong pa ulit. I decided to just look at the people who are dancing in the middle along with the neon lights.
"Ice cream with me?"
I craned my neck to the other side and saw Alas beside me. Kanina ay isang upuan pa ang pagitan namin. Ngayon ay halos nasa tabi ko na siya.
Lights glowed in his dark orbs as I looked at them closely. Kahit nakangiti ay hindi pa rin maitatago noon ang pagkaseryoso at lungkot na lumulukob sa kaniya.
Bumuntong hininga ako.
"Ice cream after Sangria won't be bad, right?"
He smiled. "I think so."
***
We went outside Manila. Alas brought me to a garden somewhere in Laguna where he said that I'd surely feel relax. True enough, the moment that fresh cold wind blows, I knew that this is one of those places that would send you the good vibes.
Umakyat kami sa may kataasang hagdan. Kahit gabi ay maliwanag ang lugar dahil nagkalat ang poste ng ilaw na siyang gumagabay sa amin sa bawat dinadaanan.
We reached the top of the hill that made me breathless. Mula sa tuktok ay tanaw ko ang siyudad ng Laguna. The lights from different houses seems like I'm looking at the stars shining through the darkness.
"How's it?" it's Alas that suddenly threw me a question.
"Breathtaking."
"The same description I thought the first time I went here."
Sa sobrang pagkamangha sa tanawin ay hindi ko na namalayang nakaupo na pala siya sa damuhan. Kung hindi niya pa hinawakan ang kamay ko at hinila paupo ay hindi ko pa mapapansin.
"Come here."
I shook my head. "I can't. I'm wearing a dress."
He suddenly pulled me down with gentle that I had no choice but to sit down beside him. Tuwid at tikom ang pagkakaupo ko, nasanay na palaging pormal kung kumilos. Mom taught me to sit properly wherever I am. Kahit nakasuot ng pantalon, kailangan dikit pa rin ang mga tuhod sa tuwing uupo.
Hinubad ni Alas ang suot na coat at ipinatong iyon sa mga hita ko. Tanging puting longsleeve na nakarolyo hanggang siko at itim na slacks na lang ang suot niya.
"You don't have to." Baliwalang sabi ko at itinuon ang atensyon sa tanawin sa harapan.
"But I want to."
Hindi na ako sumagot sa kaniya. I think that I'd be able to enjoy this place even without talking. Iniabot ni Alas ang isang tub ng cookies and cream ice cream sa akin. Inabot ko 'yon at nagpasalamat. I opened it and took a spoon in my mouth.
Hmm. Ice cream and this view isn't really bad.
"Zeph..." Alas called out.
"Hmm?"
"Why do I feel like I have to make it up to you after that day?"
"I don't know. Maybe because you're guilty. Nagmukha akong kontrabida sa harap ng pamilya mo noong araw na 'yon. You know, the third party to an almost perfect relationship."
"I'm sorry..." the way he delivered those words came out sincere.
"No harm done. I'm just glad that you finally see your worth as a man. I really hate people who act stupid despite of them being special."
He chuckled. "You hate me then?"
"You can say that." maging ako ay natawa na rin.
"But I'm special..."
"In someone's eyes, you are."
"How about in your eyes?"
Napalingon ako sa kaniya. Naabutan ko siyang nakatitig sa akin, titig na titig.
"Plain stupid who just woke up from his stupidity. You're not special to me, don't assume."
His laughter roared. "Just kidding. Thanks for being honest."
Napailing na lang ako sa kalokohan niya saka muling kumain ng ice cream.
"I still miss her, Zeph."
"That's normal. Feelings don't fade right away. It takes time to heal."
"I know. I just can't believe that we'd reached the end this way. Thought she's going to be my better half."
"Can't blame you. You've been together for quite long years," I chuckled. "How did you two meet each other? Not that I'm interested, okay?"
Bahaw siyang natawa. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang nakatuon ang dalawa niyang kamay sa damuhan habang nasa tanawin sa harap ang atensyon.
"I met her at the bar."
"Oh. A socialite who met a businessman-"
"She's a prostitute."
Umawang ang mga labi ko pagkarinig noon mula mismo kay Alas. I bit my lower lip, played it from the inside as silence lingered in the air.
A p-prostitute?
"I know what you're thinking, Zeph. But please don't judge her-"
"No, no. I'm not," I paused. "I was just surprised. She doesn't seem like that."
He glanced at me and smiled a bit. Ibinalik niya rin agad ang atensyon sa harapan at bumuntong hininga.
"Despite her job, I discovered that she's something behind the mask she's wearing everytime she's dancing on that stage. Like those cliche stories, Trish isn't that woman who throws herself to any man out there."
I keep quiet and just listened to him. I didn't expect that Trish had that kind of work. Sa sobrang amo ng mukha niya, hindi nino man iisipin na makakaya niyang pasukin ang ganoong klase ng trabaho. I don't know how to throw definition for that job. I just think that it's bad if you can't respect yourself despite the darkness beneath that.
"I gave her the life she deserved. I want nothing but to give her a bed where she could sleep comfortable. A place she could call home. A family that she could treat as hers. And a promise that I'd always be beside her no matter what. But it's not enough. I was not enough."
Malalim na buntong hininga ang pinakawalan bago tumingin sa damuhan. Alas sounded hurt while he said those words but it seems like he's slowly accepting it. He should. Siya ang lubos na magiging kawawa kung patuloy niyang ibabaon ang sarili sa nakaraan nila ni Trish.
"You will be fine, Alas. You're still hanging on. It means that you haven't reached the limit yet. Keep going."
He anchored his eyes on me and gave a light smile.
"Our deal has ended. I haven't thank you for helping me."
I shrugged my shoulders. "You helped me first. But our deal was actually useless, you know. Nagawa natin parehas magdesisyon na hindi kinakailangan ang isa't-isa."
"I know," he chuckled. "But I'm still happy we met."
"You are?"
"Pretty much, huh? Though I received alot of curses and insults from you, you made me realize my worth as a person. You are the fierciest woman I know, Zeph. Sa kabila ng pagiging amazona mo, hindi noon nagawang itago kung gaano ka kabuting tao... kung gaano ka kagaling makisama."
I never feel happy whenever someone complimented me because I know that it's doesn't came from their hearts. But hearing this words from Alas made me feel well damn appreciated. If only I could tell him how he makes me smile secretly.
"I know that we should already part ways because our deal is now done. But can we still be friends?" he asked, making me hold my breath for some reason.
I looked at him as he's staring intently at me. The cold wind blew making our hair dance in a slow motion. The moonlight seems to be very bright through his eyes that made me see how genuine and sincere that question is.
"I don't want us to go back to being strangers again." he added.