michaelclifford to world's shittiest band
michaelclifford:
if jesus can walk on water
and watermelons are 90% water
anddd, i can walk on watermelons
does that mean i'm 90% jesus
hello
guys ?
ashtonirwin:
if you want my professional opinion, no you're not 90% jesus
but you're 100% high thats for sure
michaelclifford:
i don't even smoke
ashtonirwin:
sureee, because that deranged thought came from a sober man
michaelclifford:
i was having an extistential crisis and my mind went to jesus and watermelons
ashtonirwin:
hmm
do you think of jesus and watermelons often, michael?
michaelclifford:
now that i think about it
yeah probably more than the average dude
ashtonirwin:
well that's great babe
i encourage you to speak to a therapist ❤️
speaking of, i'm off to see mine
lukehemmings:
babe????
michaelclifford:
do i really need therapy guys?
calumhood:
no kitten
ignore ashton
he's jealous of your sexy brain
michaelclifford:
y'all came on the chat out of nowhere damn
calumhood:
i was feeding duke lolz
lukehemmings:
shut up column no one says 'lolz' anymore
and i didn't care to text back until you seduced my boyfriend
calumhood:
fuck off
michaelclifford:
luke
wtf made u believe that i seduced ash?
lukehemmings:
ugh
he called you babe
calumhood:
hate to break it to you buddy but ashton calls everyone that
michaelclifford:
tis true
lukehemmings:
so i'm not special ? ☹️
michaelclifford:
nope
lukehemmings:
is this what heartbreak feels like ?
calumhood:
oh my god you're so dramatic
so your boyfriend is nice to other people, whats the big deal
lukehemmings:
if he's nice to other people someone might get the wrong idea and take him away from me
and then i'll have no choice but to become a criminal
michaelclifford:
ok first of all
what you're saying is that you'd rather ashton be a dick?
lukehemmings:
yeah pretty much
calumhood:
well some people like dicks🤷🏽♂️
michaelclifford:
omg calum
second, i don't think ashton could ever love anyone else, luke
he plans on being with you forever, he's told me so
lukehemmings:
interesting
my baby loves me 🥰
ashtonirwin:
of course i do you fucking weirdo
michaelclifford:
hey ash how was therapy
ashtonirwin:
it was great! we talked about my repressed traumas
😒
calumhood:
yikes
lukehemmings:
get well soon ❤️
ashtonirwin:
working on it love
michaelclifford:
well i just think that we haven't made fun of luke in too long
ashtonirwin:
where did that come from? 😂
michaelclifford:
nvm luke's fine
on the other hand
ashton u are the furthest thing from funny when u use that emoji
ashtonirwin:
you mean this 😂 ?
michaelclifford:
yeah
ashtonirwin:
it's literally an emoji???
lukehemmings:
i agree with michael
you remind me of an old straight mom
michaelclifford:
he might as well be 1
ashtonirwin:
wow
y'all are rude
now i'm gonna be self conscious about the emojis i use
lukehemmings:
aw baby
use your stupid white millenial emojis if you want to 🥺
calumhood:
💀
michaelclifford:
okay, lets change the subject guys
ashtonirwin:
thank you
michaelclifford:
lets talk about this shirt
lukehemmings:
awww my little twink 🥺
ashtonirwin:
okay.. you know what
what's the opposite of right?😃
michaelclifford:
wrong?
ashtonirwin:
no
ashtonirwin left
calumhood:
😂😂
lukehemmings:
not you too??
michaelclifford:
ugh calum i thought u were better than that
calumhood:
ash was right
it's just a fucking emoji
michaelclifford:
ugh ur such a dick sucker
calumhood:
yeah it's been known
lukehemmings:
you suck mikey off once and you think you're all that
not like you been with anyone else
calumhood:
about that
calumhood left
michaelclifford:
???
michaelclifford added calumhood
michaelclifford:
hood explain
calumhood:
its really nothing but i'll tell you in our private chat
michaelclifford:
okayyy 🤨
calumhood left
michaelclifford left
lukehemmings:
well i wanna know
lukehemmings added michaelclifford, calumhood
lukehemmings:
spill
michaelclifford:
u really dont need to know
calumhood:
yea. its not a big deal
lukehemmings:
if it's not a big deal than just tell me
calumhood:
fuck ashton's gonna kill me
lukehemmings:
you sucked ashton off.
when
calumhood:
way before y'all ever got together luke
neither of us would ever hurt you like that
lukehemmings:
hm
michael why do you not care?
michaelclifford:
it was forever ago and clearly it meant nothing
let it go luke
lukehemmings:
calum don't ever speak to ashton again and we're good 😃
calumhood:
can't promise you that
but i will promise to never have sex with your boyfriend again 👍🏽
lukehemmings:
if you do i won't hesitate to cut your nipples off
michaelclifford:
same
calumhood:
ew i'd never fuck ashton again
lukehemmings:
well thats great
but lets drop it, im getting more insecure by the second
michaelclifford:
nothing to be insecure about buddy
ashton loves u and idk how many times ppl need to tell u that
lukehemmings:
i know he does, it's just hard to believe sometimes
calumhood:
same mwmwkd
lukehemmings:
stfu calum i'm still mad at you
calumhood:
and this is why i didn't tell you
michaelclifford:
🍿🍿
calumhood:
how tf am i supposed to make it up to you
lukehemmings:
you can start by never speaking to me again
calumhood:
you play too much
lukehemmings:
funny
i'm not playing
calumhood added ashtonirwin
calumhood:
ash can you tell this mf that me and you are not and will not ever be a thing
ashtonirwin:
isn't that obvious??
where did that even come from
lukehemmings:
calum sucked your dick 😒
ashtonirwin:
uhhh
how do you know that
i totally forgot about that
calumhood:
so if you forgot it means nothing right??
ashtonirwin:
right.
lukehemmings:
you promise?
ashtonirwin:
of course baby.
he wasn't even that good anyway
calumhood:
excuse me ??
ashtonirwin:
😂😂😂