nova
monday•3:20 p.m
"he's so stupid" i whisper to myself, giggling at the meme jah had sent me on twitter.
"I hope you're smiling at that math you didn't understand earlier." my grandmother says walking past my open door.
...why would i be smiling at ma- anyway. I simply brush off her comment and continue with what I was doing.
every since I dm'ed jah on twitter about a month ago, we've been talking everyday since. he sends me his songs: each one, better than the last. lately it seems like he's more open to talk. right now we're talking about the best flavor of ramen.
!
@makeouthillvr
it's definitely chicken. ultimate goat.
3:23 p.m
✓✓
beef kinda hit different
after a long day though...
3:23 p.m
✓✓
BEEF? what does your day consist of...?
working the fields?
3:24 p.m
✓✓
how else do you
think I pay the bills??
3:24 p.m
✓✓
after sending the message, I lock my phone tossing it on the other side of the bed. i get up and begin cleaning my room. there should be no reason my room looks like this because i just cleaned it yesterday but yet, here we are. after cleaning my room, i sit down at my desk and begin to do my math homework. and yes—the math that i didn't understand earlier. i do my homework for the next few hours. i check atleast every 10 minutes for a reply from jah.
nothing. I sigh.
maybe he's busy. i get up from my desk looking at the time. 7:04. i'll take a shower, i'll eat and then i'll just chill tonight. that's usually what my day consists of anyway. I get up from my desk, walking into the bathroom, hopping in the shower doing my simple hygiene routine and getting out. I lotion my body, putting on my clothes and make my way downstairs. as i enter the kitchen there's no sign of my grandma so i make a plate of food, and return back to my room, closing the door behind me. if on cue, i get an alert from twitter in my phone. eagerly i open it up.
!
@makeouthillvr
i want to see you.
9:26 p.m
✓✓
instantly, my heart skipped a beat. for some reason i thought we'd never have to meet in person, and now just the mere thought of us meeting brung butterflies to my stomach.
when?
9:27 p.m
✓✓
right now. doesn't matter where.
9:27 p.m
✓✓
im not sure if it was just me being naive, but i trusted him— or atleast i wanted to trust him.
how do i know you won't murder me
& sell my body parts on the dark web?
9:29 p.m
✓✓
you'll just have to take a chance on me.
9:29 p.m
✓✓
he's right, everything he's done up until now haven't shown any signs of not being able to trust him. but now i have a dilemma. either i have to sneak him in or i have to sneak out to him. after carefully debating, i decided to sneak him in. that way if he tries kills me, my neighbors would hear.
11273 champion blvd.
let me know when you're here.
9:32 p.m
✓✓
i hop up, setting the untouched plate of food on my nightstand. once again picking up the random things my floor had conjured up in the few hours after i had cleaned it. I was so nervous, my body was sweating and my hands were shaking. this is the first time i was sneaking a boy in. a boy that i had met on the internet less than 2 months ago at that. i see my phone light up in the dark room. i open it up to jah saying he's outside.
already?, i think. i move a little quicker. sliding into my shoes i quickly, but quietly make my way down to the front door. unlocking it and opening it slowly i see a tall dark, hooded figure stand in front of me.
jah
monday•9:44 p.m
as i stand at the door, hands in my pockets, looking around and waiting for it to be opened. i notice the neighborhood, its pretty nice. im surprised there wasn't a gate at the start of the neighborhood. i'm suddenly knocked out of my thoughts as i hear the soft unlocking of the door. the door opens and i see a girl. almost my height, medium build in all black. we stare at each other for what felt like eternity, until she finally speaks up.
"do you want to come in?" she asks before moving out of the doorway.
I look at her for a few more seconds and say nothing as I swiftly move inside of the house as she closes the door behind me.
i'm realizing for the first time in the week that we had been talking, is that I had never seen her face and she hadn't seen me. she was very pretty, her face and the way she carried herself brought me a sense of curiosity.
we stand there quietly before she turns around towards me, grabbing my hand and begins slowly leading me up the stairs to a dark bedroom, closing the door behind us, she looks down at our hands dropping it quickly as she sits on the edge of the bed. watching her every move, I walk around her room, touching the various posters and certificates plastered on her wall. I examine the various pills on her dresser, picking up a few of them, i read the labels, all prescribed to Nova Grant—Zoloft, Seroquel, Xanax. I open the last bottle, taking a few out before replacing the top and setting the bottle down. I scan the certificates once more. STRAIGHT A'S AWARD: AWARDED TO Elise Grant. I decide to speak for the the first time since i've been here.
"you're a good student." I say, slightly chuckling as i turn to face her before talking again. "Elise"
she looks up at me, furrowing her eyebrows before letting her face soften. there's a long pause before she opens her mouth to speak.
"i guess so.." she says hesitantly.
"you like school?"
"i guess you can say that" she says softly, looking down at her fiddling fingers.
i notice her uncomfortable body language as she sits on her own bed.
"you nervous?" i ask, stepping a little closer to her.
i've been told that I have a scary presence, and honestly I think it's stopped people from fucking with me. I like being intimidating, even when I don't mean to be.
"a little bit..." she says in a tone, just above a whisper. "i've never done anything like this.." she continues.
"anything like what?" I ask
"like this" she starts, "sneaking a boy in, especially having one in my room that I met on the internet."
"understandable." i respond, "you don't seem like type."
"what does that mean?" she says with a hint of offensiveness in her voice.
instead of answering her, I sit down on her bed, propping my feet up, turning my attention to the only source of light, which was the tv.
I dont want to go back home, especially to that house with my mom and her fuck ass boyfriend. he stay disrespecting my mom and she just sits there and takes it. I know me and my moms ain't been on the best of terms, but I have love for her and always will. before I left, he was bitchin' about something that she "didn't do right" so we got into it. I knocked him unconscious and my moms standing there yelling at me. i just did you a fucking favor and now you sitting here mad at me? what the fuck ever. so i got up and left and now here I am, in a house, sitting on the bed of a girl I barely know.
I break the silence once again.
"I can sleep here?"
she turns around and looks at me worriedly
"why? is everything okay?" she asks.
I carefully deliberate on telling her the story. I felt like i could trust her but I wasn't sure if i wanted to tell her about my family just yet. also I liked her space, quiet and inviting. I decide against telling her
"yeah. I just don' want to go home yet" I finally say.
she softly smiles at me before answering.
"i get it."
she gets up, locking the door and making her way back to the bed before sitting down next me.
"I can sleep on the floor if that'll make you feel more comfortable..."
she looks up at me, unsure before scratching her head.
"no no no, you don't have to sleep on the floor. my bed is big enough for the both of us I guess" she says, smiling as she finishes her sentence.
her smile is gorgeous, very contagious. i could help but to start to smile also.
she sits up against the headboard, and I take it upon myself to wrap my arms around her waist, laying my head on her side. I feel her tense up but I keep my position closing my eyes. something about this felt safe. something i'm not familiar with.
"my mom has a boyfriend." I start, as she begins rubbing my back. "a very shitty one."
"he's disrespectful to my mom," I begin to hesitate. ".....he sometimes hits her and she just lets him, so I step in. which usually leads to us fist fighting and me winning."
"my mom doesn't like when I fight, especially for her, so then we end up arguing and I end up disappearing for a few days and then I go back, and the cycle continues"
she continues to rub my back, as I drift off to sleep.
This is my safe space.