"All I want for christmas is patience."
-the author
_______________________
Hazel Fenty
Monday
two days until christmas
I sat on Harlow's bed crying so hard I could feel my nose closing up, like I was gonna get a cold. I cried all night, I was so hurt, my heart was aching. All I wanted for the last several weeks before Christmas was to get closer with my dad. He was really showing his ass off, getting into drugs, gambling, being distant, and now he's involved in something that could cost him the rest of his life. Harlow rubbed my back soothingly and occasionally shushed me. She knew I could black out at any moment.
"I'm gonna go check on my grandma, I'll be right back." I nodded, laying down. My phone rung, flashing beside me. I saw Bashar's name, and answered.
"Breathe mama." He said. "Close your eyes and breathe." I did as instructed, closing my eyes and breathed. "Do it again." A tear ran down my face as I did it again. "Again." I repeated it, and then opened my eyes. "Good girl." He nodded.
I wiped my face, I felt so much better. A cool breeze came through the window and it felt so good. Harlow's grandmother had an older house so when it became cold Harlow and her uncle would help bring in wood to put in the wooden heater. Sometimes when it became too hot she's lift the window for fresh fair.
"'Ima come get you in a minute, so we can go Christmas shopping." Bashar mentioned, I smiled that he remembered.
"I thought you forgot about that." I sniffed, rubbing my nose.
"Hell 'nah. 'Ion forget important things like that." I was so grateful to have a good friend like him.
—
"You ready doll? Bashar is coming down the street." Harlow called. I put on my lipgloss and grabbed my purse. I made sure I had my card and my ID.
"Coming." I turned off her light, and closed the door. I made my way out to the door. Harlow hugged me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"I love you pretty girl." She whispered.
"I love you more, Lolo." I told her. Bashar pulled up in the yard, I unlocked the screen door and opened it. Harlow held onto the door and made sure the screen didn't slam shut. I walked to the car and got in.
Bashar honked the horn, then carefully backed out the driveway. I clicked my seatbelt and settled in the seat. "Hey, Shar." I greeted. He looked over at me then back at the road. He lifted his hand, putting it on my thigh.
"Wassup?" The butterflies in my stomach were dancing like praise dancers. His touch gave a fiery wave all over my body.
"Nothing, I'm making it." I shrugged, I didn't want to cry again so I kept my answer short and sweet.
"You don't wanna talk about it?" I shook my head no. "Okay, well you know daddy shark is always here if you need him." I burst out laughing at his response.
"Daddy shark?" I grinned, looking at him.
"Yep, doo doo doo doo." I couldn't contain my laughs he was so funny.
"You're such a nut." I elbowed him.
"Yeah, your nut." He flirted. I pursed my lips into a thin line but I was still smiling.
Bashar parked in a vacant spot and turned off the car. We got out and made our toward the mall. He beeped the car even though there wasn't nothing in it. Security purposes I reckon.
"Where to first?" He asked, lacing our fingers together. I looked down at our hands then back at him. He raised both his eyebrows waiting for my response.
"Umm, let's go to the jewelry store. I want to get my mom a pandora bracelet." Bashar agreed. I heard my mom constantly talk about wanting a pandora bracelet but never wanted dad or I to waste our money on something she may never take out the box. Momma wasn't a cheap skate but she loved to save money.
We weren't in Pandora long, I spotted the perfect bracelet for my mom.
All I needed to know was how to take off the bracelet to add more charms and the lady showed me how. When momma washed dishes or cooked she'd take off her rings, and I know for a fact she'd never let this get wet. After we paid, the lady wrapped up the box and put it in a bag then handed me my receipt.
"Where to next, beautiful?" I scanned the line of stores until I saw-
I pulled Bashar along until we were inside the store. There were a lot of new scents on display. I couldn't wait to swipe my card.
"These prices aren't too bad." Bashar noticed, I agreed. It was the holidays and the prices had decreased tremendously. I grabbed my mom's favorite smells, lotions, bath bombs, soaps, and hand sanitizer. When the lady ran up my total it was almost two-hundred dollars. I was given my receipt and we were on our way out.
"You sit here,'ima go take these to the car." Bashar grabbed the bags and walked away before I could protest.
"Hazel?" I looked up from my phone to see who had recognized me. There was a tap on my shoulder, I turned and it was Ginger.
"Ginger? Hi!" I smiled, standing up to give her a hug. "How are you, you look good!?" I complemented excitedly, pulling down my shirt.
"Thank you, so much. I'm good, real good. How are you?" She asked, as we took a seat on the bench.
"I'm okay, just doing some last minute shopping. How about you?" Ginger had lost so much weight she looked like a completely different person.
"Same, my back and feet are killing me though." She sighed, lifting her legs.
"I heard that. So, how's your mom?" With the last encounter her mom made her scurry to the back of the store before it was shot to pieces.
"Still racist, I moved out." I was so happy for her.
"Wow, that's good. I'm proud of you but how does your mom, you know, feel about that?" I didn't want to pry into her personal business. I was just trying to make conversation and see how things were doing for her.
"Basically begged me to stay but I told her it was time for me to do what makes me happy. The way she talks to people is disgusting. You know, y'all weren't the first customers she tried running away that day. I don't know what her problem is with plus size persons." Ginger shook her head disappointed that her mom acted such a way.
"It is but all we can do is keep trying and keep our heads up. Then again, I can't get over how good you look! Tell me, what's the secret?" I elbowed playfully.
"Prayer, reassurance, and self-love." I nodded, that's so true. "My mom made me feel like shit while I lived at home and worked in that store. I couldn't take that kind of hatred any more so I quit the store and found a job at a catering business. I love baking." She smiled. That was so nice, she was enjoying and doing what she loved.
"You go girl." I encouraged.
"Then once I had enough money I packed my bags and dipped. I found a little apartment cross town not too far away and I'm living my best life. Even got me a boyfriend." Ginger was smiling from ear to ear.
"What? A boyfriend? Let me see." I gasped. Ginger took our her phone to show me the picture. While she searched, I saw Bashar by the entrance but he wasn't alone. It looked like Benji and Cari had showed up too. They look like they were arguing.
"Hey, could you excuse me for just a moment?" Ginger looked up from her phone, smiling.
"No problem." They were kinda far but I sped walked. The closer I got the clearer their voices were.
"'Yo 'ion mean no harm but ever since you got with ole girl you falling off. We was suppose to been got them niggas months ago." Cari said, to Bashar.
"Watch 'yo damn mouth fool and I ain't falling off shit." Bashar pointed in his face. I don't think they even notice I was standing a few feet away.
"Man I ain't watching shit. If we would've gotten rid of them niggas when I said they wouldn't have followed us, there wouldn't have been a shoot out and Hazel momma wouldn't have been shot!" I gasped covering my mouth. My heart slowly sunk to the bottom of my stomach. They all turned around looking at me, Bashar looked hurt.
"S-So y'all are the reason my momma in coma?" I asked in disbelief. "Please t-tell me y'all l-lying." I stammered. No one said a word.
"Hazel." Bashar answered slowly. He walked over to me gently grabbing my wrist. I snatched away, shaking my head.
"Don't fucking touch me." I spat, slapping him across the face as hard as I could, hearing it echo throughout the mall.