Mickey's POV
"There, last box," I stated as I taped up the last box of Tom's. Our apartment looked so bare without his stuff, but he was leaving me quite a number of his things. I'd be taking over the lease, so it would be completely my apartment. We already had a bunch of boxes in a moving truck that were already on their way to Tom's new apartment in Virginia.
Tom was moving to Virginia to work for the DEA. That's across the country. He had his one-way ticket, and he was all set to go. There have been many lulls in our final moments together because we don't want to break up, but ultimately we know that we have to. It would be impossible to stay together and only see each other once every ten years.
If Tom loved me, why would he leave me?
I scanned the walls to see if there were any pictures in frames that Tom forgot. My eyes stopped on an old gold frame, and my heart broke a little when I pictured the beautiful memory inside. I didn't want him to go, I wasn't ready to move on. Even though it is not easy, I know that right now the best way to show him how much I love him is to let him go.
I thought about all those nights together, where we talked about the future. It would make me so excited, because I wanted to spend my life with him. He's my best friend. Just us against the world. I never knew that one day I would be losing him.
I noticed the painting of us that a stranger made at a diner in Greenville that we framed. I was feeling like the color blue, but I smiled at the memory as I took it down and walked up to Tom and said, "you should have this."
He took it from my hands and I saw his eyes dart around the painting and a smile perked his lips. But, he handed it back to me and said, "keep it. We can trade it in ten years, we will meet at our diner."
"I'll be there," I chuckled softly. I put it back on the wall where it belongs. I grabbed the front of my crewneck sweatshirt and pulled it away from my chest over and over to create a bit of wind to help cool me down.
Tom sighed, looking around at all the boxes we packed in a matter of a few days. He puckered his lips while he was in thought, and I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my head against his back. His hands rested on my wrists and he rubbed his thumb against my skin gently.
"I'm sorry," I sniffed with an awkward laugh. My lips quivered subtly. "I just can't believe you're leaving."
"Me neither."
"We still have..." I checked my watch, "twelve more hours before your flight."
Tom stepped out of my grasp and turned to face me. He grabbed my hands in his and said, "I don't want just twelve more hours with you. I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I don't want twelve hours, I want a lifetime with you, Michelle."
I chuckled to keep myself from crying. It took all the power in me to tell him that he didn't have to go work for the DEA if he knew the consequences to it. If I'm being honest, I was mad. He could have said no, and he could have stayed here with me. We could have all those things, but now we never will.
I responded with, "we only have one more day together... so love me like there's no tomorrow."
Tom stepped up to me and kissed my forehead before wrapping his arms around me, squishing me to his chest. We shuffled to the light switch and turned it off, and he sweeped me off my feet and walked us to our bedroom for the last time. He tossed me on the bed, and closed the door and turned the light off. He crawled up next to me and all I wanted was to be with him. I wanted to feel his love and lay beside him, and stay in this moment for the rest of time. He held me in his arms, telling me how much I meant to him. Even though I tried, I could not hide the pain of him moving. He has his life, and I have mine, but he was all I cared about.
My heart was beating harder as he pulled me into a sleepy hug. Time somehow escaped me as I tried to make this moment last, nuzzling myself into his warm body. But it made it harder. My tears were dried on my cheeks. My love and my heart were breathing for this moment.
I woke up in the morning, and Tom was already out of bed. I had already talked to Fuller a couple weeks ago about taking this day off of work so I could take Tom to the airport. I got up and quickly threw on a white tank top and classic denim overalls. A lazy outfit for a distressing day.
I walked out of our bedroom and saw that he was preparing us a pot of hot chocolate in the kitchen. I got a little closer before I spoke up, "are you still planning on going to the chapel this morning?"
Tom nodded, "yeah. I just want to say goodbye, I cleaned out my desk already."
"I'll go with you," I offered.
"Okey-dokey." He looked over at me with a soft smile. "How did you sleep?"
"Better than how I'll sleep tonight," I replied honestly. I walked over to him and put my hand on his chest and gave him a lazy morning kiss. He handed me a mug of cocoa and we sat at the table together to drink it, for the last time. I glanced around the apartment, saddened to see a bundle of suitcases and depressing boxes that piled by the front door.
After our small breakfast, I excused myself to the bathroom so I could fix my hair. I could hear a slight commotion in the living room, but I ignored it and continued to brush my hair. When I walked out, I saw that all of his stuff was gone besides two suitcases.
"Where'd it all go?" I asked as I tried to find my shoes.
"Mover guys came and picked the rest up," he said.
"What about the stuff you sent yesterday?" I asked.
Tom said, "they should still be on the road. I think I'll get to Springfield before they do."
Tom and I sat on the couch together and slipped on our shoes at the same time. He was already wearing his iconic brown leather jacket, and he was ready to go.
"Where's the little man?" Tom asked as he looked around. He whistled between his fingers and called out, "Swayze! Here, boy!"
I heard a thud come from our bedroom and the sound of nails against the floor as Swayze bolted to us. Tom laughed as Swayze ran as fast as he could, stopping at Tom's legs. Tom said his painful goodbye to Swayze, who had no idea what was happening. He looked up at us with his big brown, dopey eyes and unconditional love on the brain as his tail wagged it's self into a sprain. "Who is the bestest boy? You are. You are the goodest boy. Yes, you are," Tom said in a high pitched voice while he rubbed his head.
"He is going to miss you so much," I said and bent down to give him some pets too. Swayze is only four months old, and was less than half of his adult size, so he was going to turn into a completely different dog next time Tom is able to see him.... if Swayze is still alive.
Tom told me that he took Swayze out to go to the bathroom already that morning, so I had to coax him back into the bedroom and shut the door. We have been meaning to get a crate for him, but he doesn't do any damage in the bedroom so that's where he usually goes while we aren't home. When he is older and more mature, he will be allowed to adventure around the apartment unsupervised.
Tom locked the apartment for the last time and tried to give me back the key. That made it too real, so I made him keep it in case he ever wanted to pop in again. He chuckled and put the key in his pocket.
We put his suitcases in the car we drove together to the Jump Street chapel for the very last time. I turned the car off and asked, "are you ready?"
Tom took a deep breath before he nodded and got out of the car. I followed behind him all the way up the stairs until we got to the door. He opened the door and saw it bustling with officers, as always.
"Look what the cat dragged in!" Doug's voice echoed. He strut over to us and greeted Tom. "I didn't think you'd be running back to us so quickly."
Tom chuckled, "just saying my final goodbyes."
Doug's energy dwindled quicker than I've ever seen it before. His smile faded but he played it off. "It's cool. Virginia is cool... Guess this is the end of the McQuaid brothers, huh?"
Tom smiled at his best friend, "never."
Fuller came out of his office and walked over to us and asked, "when's your flight, Tom?"
Tom checked his watch, "in about a half hour."
Fuller whistled, "better get going."
"I know," Tom said, "it's all right. I have a little time."
"Is that Tom I hear?" Ioki asked from the other side of the chapel. He abandoned the copier and came over to us with Judy on his tail. She quickly skipped in front of him and ran into Tom's arms to give him a goodbye-hug.
When they pulled away, Fuller stepped forward to give Tom a handshake. Tom took it and Fuller said to him, "we will never forget what you did for the city, Tom. The youths thank you too."
"Thanks, Captain," Tom smiled at him. The phone began to ring, so Fuller excused himself and disappeared into his office and the ringing ceased.
Doug piped up by saying, "it's weird to think that a year ago... we were all here. A year from now, who knows where we will all be. Where has the time gone?"
"I don't want to believe that it's over," Judy agreed. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and I saw her breathing quicken. She's always been very emotional, and not very good at hiding it.
I looked up at Tom and I could see it in his eyes that he was sad, but he was restless. The time had come for him to leave Jump Street. It was so hard for me to let him go, but in this life I knew that he had to be who he was made to be. Letting him go was just another way of showing how much I love him.
"What if we never see each other again?" Ioki asked.
"That'll never happen." Tom blew a raspberry between his lips.
"Bring it in, man, one last time," Doug said as he put his hand in the middle of us. We all knew what he was referring to. One at a time, we all put our hands on top of another.
We did our signature handshake of rising our wiggling fingers into the air together, ending with shooting finger guns into the sky. Tom and I preceded to blow the imaginary smoke out the barrels and shoved the finger guns into our coats at the same time.
Tom walked around us to the door and looked back with a wave goodbye. Our team waved back, saying their final goodbyes as he disappeared out the door.
He left as mysteriously as he arrived. The team all looked at each other with solemn faces before they went back to their desks. I looked back at the door, wishing he'd come walking through that door once again. I could remember the first time I saw him walking through those doors, but little did I know that he was going to become the most important person in my life.
The door creaked open and Tom poked his head in, "Mick? You coming?"
"Oh, right," I laughed and ran out the door after him, waving to my coworkers goodbye and that I would see them tomorrow.
Tom and I drove to the airport, and we parked in a corner of the parking lot where I would remember where we parked. Tom wasn't going to be here to help remind me. I helped him with one of his suitcases as we got him checked in. We walked through the airport together until we reached the gate.
I took a deep breath and stared straight ahead. Any movement from my eyes and I knew that the tears would spill, and I really didn't want Tom to see me cry. I felt Tom's hand rub against my back and he asked in a low voice, "are you all right?"
"I just can't believe everything is about to change," I said and looked up at him with an uncontrollable sniff. My heart was breaking in front of him.
He looked back at me, he had the face of an angel. I could feel everyones eyes on us. This chapter of us was ending, but it felt like the story had only just started. A page was turning for everyone, but I was not ready to move on or let go, but I had to hold onto tomorrow. A tomorrow without Tom. He found a light in me that was buried in my soul, like gold, that I couldn't find alone. I will forever be grateful for that.
"We've always got our memories," he reassured, "I'll be with you wherever you go. I just want you to remember, darling, that I am as near as your telephone. If you ever need me, all you got have to do is call me."
I'm not a princess, and this isn't some fairytale. With my luck, I should have known that we were not going to have that storybook ending. Even though our time together was coming to an end, it also signified the start of his dream and I would be a terrible person if I kept him from that. Time just wasn't in our favor. I gripped at the necklace that he gave me, having no desire to ever take it off. "I need you to know that your heart is with me. Always."
"I know," Tom smiled and I got lost in his loving eyes. He lit up my life like a sunrise that gently shined into my heart. "I'll miss you but—don't cry. Please, don't cry. We'll meet again someday so this is not goodbye, this is see you later," he promised, "you will never fade away from my life. It'll be okay."
"All passengers on flight 747 to Springfield, Virginia, now boarding," the announcement interrupted us.
I placed my hands on his chest. I had dreaded to hear that announcement ever since we got there. My fingers curled under the fabric of his shirt. I asked, "are you going to ask me to kiss you? One last time?"
Tom smiled with sadness behind his eyes and he asked, "will you kiss me?"
I couldn't give an audible answer. Tom pulled me into a hug and he gave me a kiss. I closed my eyes at our embrace, and I tried to make time stand still. I have tried to make it a habit to hold on to all the good things in my life, so when I close my eyes I can go back and remember the way I felt in that moment. I felt like I took for granted all the times that I thought would last. I've had so many dreams about me and Tom, all with happy endings. I never thought it would end like this. I just wish I could live through every memory with him again.
Softly, Tom said in my ear, "when you miss me, just pretend that I'm holding you and whispering things soft and low. We can pretend, even for a moment, that I didn't go and that I'm right there with you. I'll come flying to you again, I'll be back and I will hold you and love you again. But, until then, we'll just pretend."
I sniffed harshly, because I didn't want to pretend. I know that he is saying that he is sorry that he has to go, and that he will be with me no matter what but I didn't want to be without him. All I can do right now, is hug him tighter, and just pretend like he isn't leaving me.
Tom and I pulled apart and he headed to the line to get on the plane. I love him so much, he makes me crazy. It was so painful to watch him go toward the jet bridge that I couldn't help myself when I called out, "wait! Tom, wait."
Tom turned around at the sound of my voice and didn't hesitate for a second to drop his bags and rush to me. I jumped in his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My cheek squished into his shoulder, and his hands rubbed against my back. I know I shouldn't, but I am going to hold onto him this way for dear life, begging him to stay until he is gone forever.
Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over as I said, "I'm not ready for you to go."
"I know," he said softly in my ear. He put me on the ground and leaned back and our eyes locked. He smiled softly and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about him. Do we have to end this now? How can we make this last?
"In another life, I would make you stay," I told him. We had such a beautiful plot.
He said, "when you look at me, I can feel the whole world fade. I will always remember us like this. Nothing will change me and you."
"Virginia doesn't need you as much as I do," I said as I fiddled with the collar of his jacket.
"You know I'd stay if I could," he said in a low voice.
"Whatever happens, I'll always be right here waiting for you," I said and finally let him go. I kept on smiling through this tearful goodbye. Happy for him, but sad and terrified for what's to come.
"I'll be back. I still love you, and I always will until the end of time," he said and gave me a kiss. I let him slip through my fingers as he went into the now nonexistent line and disappeared down the jet bridge.
I sighed softly, and I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I don't think I would have ever been ready for him to leave. A piece of me felt missing. He will always be a part of me. I always thought our love was everlasting, and that he would always be mine. But now, he wants to be free. I'm going to let him go, because I know in my heart that our love will never die.
Suddenly, Tom came running out without his bags and I was a little startled when he scooped me up in a hug. In the split second that I was able to see him before he picked me up, I saw that his eyes were squeezed shut. I hugged him back, and I felt whole again.
"I was going to propose to you," he said with his face pressed into my shoulder.
My face scrunched as my heart physically hurt. I've been shot and stabbed... but this hurt more. I didn't realize that people who are closest to me are the ones who cause the most pain. I replied with my voice breaking, "and I would have said yes."
"Sir, last call for boarding," one of the employees said. Tom let me go and looked down at me with a soft smile that sprung a leak onto his cheek. His hand brushed against my cheek and we pulled each other into one last kiss. I closed my eyes and prayed that someday we can do it again.
Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had just one more kiss. We both knew this was our last goodbye, and if either of us let go then it would officially be over. We said our last "I love you's", and he finally left, again, down the jet bridge to his plane. My heart broke with every step he took to that plane. With his last goodbye, I felt myself die inside. I had never felt so low in my entire life. I almost expected that he would run back out one more time, and refuse to leave. But I knew that was selfish. I'm happy for Tom. This is a big step for him in his career, and life. He couldn't fly until I let him go. I hope he finds happiness in Virginia. I would go to the ends of the earth for him. All I can do now is be strong, and trust where Tom is heading.
Everyone I have ever truly loved has left me. My mother left me, my father left me, my brother left me, and now Tom is leaving me, even though he promised he wouldn't. I loved him from the bottom of my heart. I don't know how I can let another person into my heart without fear of the unspeakable pain.
I stayed at the gate and watched Tom's plane take off from the window. I closed my eyes once again, remembering his embrace and the way he made me feel when he was near me. It was the little things that he did that made my world go round. I love him so much, that's the reason I had to let him go.
I wasn't sure how I'd be able to keep sailing through these changing ocean tides, or handle the seasons of my life. I've always been afraid of change, and I've built my life around Tom. Now that he's gone, I felt like a major part of my life was missing. I thought maybe my love was strong enough to make him stay... I guess I was wrong.
I was now left alone to grow up and get older, when Tom had always promised to do that with me. I didn't want to say goodbye, because I couldn't believe this was over. I wished it wasn't the end for me and Tom, although we knew this day would come. I was so thankful for all the moments I had with him, that I will hold in my heart forever. He touched my life in an unexplainable way. I had pictured the rest of my life with him, and I liked what I saw. I loved what our future held for us. I never pictured that we would be drifting off in separate ways. I don't know what's in store for me anymore. We were both left with so much joy, but also so much pain. It's so hard to say goodbye.
I have been loving him for so long, how am I supposed to carry on? A dream of mine was coming to an end right before my eyes. I don't want to know what the price is for dreaming, now that Tom's dream was coming true. There is nothing left for us to do, but go on our separate ways and pick up all the pieces left behind. Maybe, just maybe, someday another love will find us.
What do you get when you fall in love? So far, all I've gotten is a pin to burst my bubble. I'll never fall in love again. I don't think I could ever find someone who will make me feel the way that Tom did. The pain was too much to let him go. I can still hear his laughter, but I can't be near him.
But, I knew that our roads would cross and we would meet again. I didn't know where, or when. I imagined that we would run into each other again on some sunny day. I'm patient. As long as he was near, I would be there. Even if it takes ten years. His smile would drive the dark clouds far away, bringing only blue skies.
Hope you guys enjoyed 🥺🤧 This chapter was based on some of my favorite "goodbye" songs! 💗 Don't forget to vote and comment! 💕
Peep the Grey's reference 🙃
Stay tuned for the next chapter!!