tw: sexual content, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of abuse
"Ophelia Tristano! Take a seat, please."
Ophelia smiled as she sat down, excited for the upcoming conversation.
Mr. Porter closed the door behind him, and led her to a chair across from his desk.
Ophelia sat, and brought her backpack into her lap, opening it up. She took out her latest report card, and handed it to him.
"My grades from last year," she told him with a smile. "All A's. I almost have that now too. Just one B. I'm sure I can work it up."
Mr. Porter smiled. "It's only September, Ms. Tristano. I'm sure you have plenty of time."
Ophelia shrugged. "I know, I know. It's better to push myself the whole time, though. That way I don't make any mistakes."
Mr. Porter's smile faltered slightly. "It's good to strive to be the best you can be, but remember, you have plenty of time."
Well, that wasn't what her mother seemed to think.
It was the second month into junior year, and Mr. Porter was calling people into the office to ask if they were interested in opportunities to build a college resume. While some already started, it was best to collect as many things possible to prove yourself to colleges.
"Now, I'm sure you're interested in after school community service."
Ophelia nodded, smiling. She held up a finger to say. "Yes, the one directly after school." She brought her hands back down, collapsing them together. "It's perfect. Monty's at practice at that time. Then we both get out at the same time."
He recognized the name of her troublemaker boyfriend. He was in the office more often.
Mr. Porter was writing her name down. "Well, thats very thoughtful of you to consider him in your schedule."
Ophelia felt Montgomery was her entire schedule. Whatever she did, she did it during his busy parts of the day. Her free time was spent with him.
"I'm really looking forward to next year," Ophelia told him. "I'm so excited for the college tours Liberty takes us on."
Mr. Porter smiled. "I'm glad you're looking for every opportunity. But you still have a full year before that happens. Let's start with junior year first. Now, we'll make sure your classes align with what you want on your applications, alright?"
Ophelia just nodded. Her smile never disappeared. She was so excited. College seemed a thousand years away, yet, she couldn't wait to go.
She couldn't wait to live in the dorms, away from her parents. She would be near Montgomery. Everyday. And her parents couldn't interfere any longer.
"What colleges do you have your heart set on?"
Ophelia brushed it off with a grin. "I don't have my heart set on any. I'm just planning on applying to all the ones in state. My mom already told me not to worry about admission fees."
Mr. Porter asked, "Still, which would you prefer?"
Ophelia shrugged. "I really wouldn't prefer any. I'm just going to end up choosing the best that me and Monty are both accepted to."
Mr. Porter hesitated. The pencil in his hand was set back in the table. He leaned forward, collapsing his hands together.
"This Monty is Montgomery De La Cruz, right? Your boyfriend?"
She felt so proud to say, "Yeah."
Mr. Porter cleared his throat. "While it is very considerate...I don't think you should be planning your future around your high school boyfriend."
Ophelia get her smile dissolving.
"Oh, no. I didn't...I'm not planning it around him. I'm just making sure he's in it."
Mr. Porter seemed unconvinced. "Still, you should shoot for any college you want. Even if he doesn't make it in. I'm sure the two of you would be just as happy long-distance. If you really as serious as you seem to think you are."
Long distance? Was he crazy? Montgomery would never do long distance. He gets jealous enough when they spent a single period apart.
She felt a sudden need to say, "I'd rather go to the same college as him."
Mr. Porter sighed. "Alright. Let me look and see what his top picks were."
Ophelia nodded, happy he was now cooperating. But she felt weird all of a sudden. Even as she went back to class, long after the interview had ended.
"Ophelia, do you have a pass?" asked Mrs. Jangle as she headed back into the English room.
Ophelia gave her the one Mr. Porter wrote for her.
She passed Zach on the way to her desk. He noticed she came in, but didn't look up at her, too preoccupied with something on his phone, which he hid behind his backpack.
Montgomery looked at her. More than that, he sat up, and smiled as she came to take her seat next to him.
"How'd it go?" he said, soft enough for Mrs. Jangle not to get upset at them.
She shrugged, less excited than when the interview had started.
"Alright, I guess."
He tsked. "I knew it."
She looked at him, and frowned. "You knew what?"
Montgomery smiled. A mischievous smile that he did when he was about to tease her.
"You're failing your classes."
She scoffed. "Oh, shut up."
"The colleges don't want you-"
She hit him playfully. He laughed, and Mrs. Jangle sent them a look.
"And they'd want you?" she whispered back to him. "You and your D's?"
He smirked. "You love my D."
She shushed him. Justin Foley, who had heard the conversation from a few seats away, looked over and smirked at Justin.
Ophelia frowned. "Well, I-I should've said F's."
"You love to be F'ed-"
"How do you have one this early? We've barely had any assignments, Monty."
Montgomery laughed. "Whoa! I thought you were supposed to be being supportive?"
She crossed her arms. "Well, too bad."
He shook his head, still smiling. "At least I play a sport. They want me anyway."
Ophelia bit her lip. She wondered, "Who one wants you?"
"You do, I hope."
She sighed. "Really, though. Mr. Porter could hardly find any colleges on your sheet. Where did you say you wanted to go?"
He shrugged.
"I don't know. I just told them whatever college we both make it into."
Ophelia felt herself lighten up. Mr. Porter didn't tell her he said that. She felt happy suddenly, and sure in their relationship.
Montgomery chuckled. "Even if it was that stupid college down the street, it'd still be nice, if we went together, ya know?"
Ophelia bit her lip, smiling. "Yeah. I think it'd be nice."
*****
"What are your plans for the future, Ophelia?"
What was this new counselor's name? Dr. Singh?
Ophelia couldn't remember. She hadn't cared enough to pay attention when her PE teacher explained to the class that senior were going to be pulled out one by one, and sent to the counselor's office to discuss their academic futures.
It seemed so unnecessary to talk about it. Ophelia didn't have plans anymore. Not one she wanted, anyways.
Her junior year was supposed to be full of community service, extracurricular activities, and finally getting her own job.
None of that happened.
What did happen, was her best friend killed herself, and they all had to go in front of a court room to decide whose fault it was. Could she put that on a college resume? She didn't think so.
Even the accomplishments done at Hillcrest were practically erased after her expulsion. How could she claim to be the founder of the Hillcrest Asian Cultural Club, yet she missed almost every meeting due to the fact she didn't even attend the school any longer?
"Right now, I just want to graduate," Ophelia admitted.
And even that was hard. Wasn't it one of the easiest things in the world, graduating high school?
Ophelia subconsciously placed her hands in front of her stomach. There was suddenly a big reason she may barely finish at all.
Dr. Singh looked surprised. Ophelia watched as she opened the file on her desk, which had Ophelia's name on it.
"Really?" Dr. Singh's accent was think. Ophelia guessed she was from India, from the accent and name alone. But she wasn't sure. Dr. Singh just got there in the beginning of senior year, as a replacement for Mr. Porter.
Dr. Singh continued, "All the notes I've received paint you as a very persistent student, who is eager to do extracurricular activities."
That was before her best friend died, it was before the tapes came out, and it was before Homecoming night, and it was before she became pregnant.
Basically, it was before Ophelia realized life just wasn't as amazing as she had thought it was going to be.
"I guess I have different priorities," Ophelia said, instead.
Dr. Singh seemed interested. "Really? What are they? I'd love to hear them."
Nothing came to her mind. She honestly felt like there was nothing she was looking forward to, and nothing she wanted to spent time on.
Ophelia gulped. "My boyfriend was hurt, I'm trying to take care of him."
The was only half of a lie. She did want to take care of Zach. But she couldn't. She hadn't seen him in two days. That's how long he's missed school, since she told him that the baby she was pregnant with might be Montgomery's.
Might be? No.
Part of her was sure it was. And it terrified her.
Maybe it was a good thing Zach left when he did. He didn't have to wait to have his heart broken again.
"Your boyfriend?" Dr Singh asked. "Is he hurt?"
"Yeah," Ophelia told her, honestly. "He broke his leg at the Homecoming game."
"Oh." It seemed to click to in her head. "Zach Dempsey. The football captain. He's a very sweet boy, isn't he?"
Ophelia bit her lip. "Yeah, he is."
"Where is planning to apply?" she asked, curious.
Ophelia realized that she didn't know. "Um, I'm not sure. Probably all the California ones for sure. A few Ivy Leagues too."
Dr. Singh smiled at her. "Ivy League. Very impressive. I've seen your grades, you have a shot there too."
Ophelia almost laughed. "No way. This year...it's been my worst. I'm way behind."
Dr. Singh frowned. "Behind? I wouldn't say so. You received a B last year, which seems to be your first in your high school career."
"And now I have four B's, and one A," Ophelia said, rejected.
The counselor noticed Ophelia's negativity. "We're not even done with the first semester yet."
Ophelia looked back down at her hands, sustainment for herself. "Well, it's enough to take Ivy Leagues out of my options."
"Ophelia, I really don't think that-"
"It's okay," Ophelia insisted. "I'm sure, even with the grades, I'm not the kind of person to get in. I don't do enough, I'm not..." She trailed off for a moment.
Ophelia recalled her mother yelling at her. It had happened everyday since Ophelia learned about her pregnancy. Her mother didn't even know she was pregnant, but still knew she was a disappointment. Everyday, showing her a new reason why she would be a terrible mother.
"...I'm not good enough."
Dr. Singh shook her head.
"There's no way you think that's true, Ophelia. You're a remarkable student. Even if you got F's this semester, you would still stick out to any college Dean."
Ophelia was receiving encouragement she wasn't used to.
There had never been an older woman being so kind to Ophelia. Ophelia found herself leaning in. She wanted to ask Dr. Singh what else she thought. Hell, she was so desperate for more connection, she almost asked her what she should do with her pregnancy.
But then Ophelia leaned back in her seat, realizing if she discussed any more of her life, Dr. Singh may see her as a whore too.
"I don't have much to say about college," Ophelia told her, firmly. "Can I go back to class now?"
Ophelia was done with the conversation.
Her plans for the future?
Ophelia had none.
She didn't even think she wanted a future anymore.
*****
"Where the hell is Dempsey?" Coach Kerba snapped. "This is the third practice he's missed."
Justin cringed at his coach's loud voice. He spoke with fury. It sent a shiver down his spine, something even the cold morning weather could not.
"We have a game this Friday. Five days away. Does he even want to be captain anymore?"
The football team was gathered around the coach in the middle of the field. They were murmuring to themselves, knowing Zach's absence would give them more laps.
Through the whispers, he heard Montgomery's voice speak up with a laugh, "Obviously not, Coach. Why don't you put someone who can actually play in his spot?"
Throughout all the boys, 'oooh's and laughs were heard.
Justin had been staring at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with the Coach, knowing he may suspect him of knowing where Zach was, and try to pry the information out of him.
But when Montgomery spoke, he did glance up, just to glare at the boy. The fucked up boy.
Montgomery's smile faded slightly at catching Justin's eye. He looked away.
Montgomery and Justin hadn't spoken at all since the day in the weight room when Justin accused him of raping Ophelia. Justin had barely spoken to anyone. Zach was gone, Ophelia was always somewhere he wasn't allowed to be, like the women's restroom. Jessica wasn't speaking with him at the moment, because he lied and said he cheated on her, because he was afraid if he didn't Alex would tell her he was still using.
Life was a fucking mess at the moment, and Justin blamed Montgomery for all of that.
Justin wondered, would Montgomery even care if he told him how badly he fucked everything up? Did he care about anyone?
Justin couldn't imagine so. After all, he knew how much Montgomery loved Ophelia, if not now, than on the past. And he still raped her.
Justin was in love with Jessica, and every single day his mind wondered back to the night of her party, where he stood back while Bryce had his way with her. It haunted him every single day. Sometimes the guilt hurt so much that he wanted to go back to the streets, and let life beat the shit out of him.
Montgomery hadn't let Ophelia be raped. He was the one that raped her. And yet, he didn't seem to feel the guilt Justin did. He didn't seem to feel anything like that at all. If anything, he seemed happy he did it. Like it helped him in a way.
How could you do something so terrible to a person, and claim to love them? How could you claim to even like them? You need hate in your heart for something like that.
"You know what, Monty? Maybe you're right."
Justin scoffed.
So Montgomery gets rewarded for hurting Zach's girlfriend so badly that Zach had to leave? Justin crossed his arms. He wasn't going to take any orders from Montgomery, he didn't care what Coach said.
"Justin, go ahead and take a look at this."
Justin, who had barely been paying attention, suddenly looked up. Coach Kerba was holding the clipboard out to him.
He blinked. "What?"
"You'll stand in for Zach while he's gone," Coach Kerba told him, like it was obvious.
Justin couldn't believe it, his mind in a haze as he grabbed the clipboard from him.
Montgomery clenched his jaw.
"Fucking great," Montgomery mumbled. "Now we just have to hope he doesn't run away to the fucking streets again."
Justin glared at him. "How about you go take a lap, Monty?"
He scoffed. "What?"
"Take. A. Lap." Justin asked the coach, "I can do that, right?"
Coach Kerba shrugged. "If you feel the team needs it."
Justin felt smug as he looked back at Montgomery. "Alright, you heard me. Go take a lap."
Justin saw his hands forming fists. Charlie tried to hide his smile.
Montgomery just scoffed again, and headed out to run the field.
"Alright," Coach Kerba began, "Let's look at some plays."
Practice was worse than Justin usually found it.
He didn't like the responsibility. He kept messing up. He didn't know all the names of the plays, not even the ones he was supposed to know.
So after practice, as most of the boys headed back to the locker room to shower, he asked Coach Kerba, "Is it alright if I just play next practice?"
Kerba laughed. "No, it's not okay. You're captain now. So you're coaching."
Justin groaned. "But I'm not good at it. I don't know all this stuff."
Kerba tapped the clipboard in Justin's hand. "Look up the stuff you don't know. Get familiar with it."
Justin shook his head, "I really don't think I should be the captain. I mean, the team counts on the captain. I'm not someone who can really be counted on."
"Every single team members needs to be someone you can count on."
When Justin didn't say anything, Coach Kerba sighed.
"You want to not be captain? Find Zach."
Justin frowned as the coach left him. He didn't know where the fuck to find Zach. If he did, he would have brought him back already.
Justin heard a laugh behind him. He turned to see Montgomery and Charlie approaching him as they made their way to the locker room.
"I think Zach's given up on the team. Actually, I think he's given up on a lot."
The school had been spreading rumors about Zach and Ophelia's break up. She hadn't said anything, but the obvious sadness in her eyes seemed to lead people in that direction. So did Zach's absence.
Justin rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, Monty. Why don't you run another lap or something?"
Montgomery sighed, loudly, and pretended to look like he was thinking. "You know what? I think someone did see Zach the other day. Do you remember hearing that, Charlie?"
Charlie smiled. "Oh shit, yeah. Taylor did."
Justin didn't want to engage with them any further.
"Where was that again? Some girl's private school."
Justin bit his lip. He looked down to the clipboard in his hand, pretending not to listen.
"Sacred Heart," Charlie clarified.
Justin nearly dropped the clipboard. His head snapped up, immediately.
He narrowed his eyes at Montgomery.
"Get out of here with that bullshit, Monty."
"No bullshit," he laughed.
He saw how uncomfortable Justin was becoming. It fueled him.
Montgomery smiled at him again. "Hey, isn't that where Chloe goes to school?"
*****
Ophelia groaned.
"Tyler, take that off!"
He flinched, and grabbed the photo, tearing it off the drying string before she could get her hands on it.
Ophelia gasped. "I'm serious, I look so horrible."
Tyler put the photo in a folder, and closed it. "I could try to take another one. But I don't want to throw any away."
Ophelia was in the dark room with Tyler. It was her turn to watch him. She volunteered, actually. She knew that everyone else was creeped out by him, and they were more than happy to add someone new to babysitting duty.
Tyler had offered to show Ophelia a project he was working on. He hadn't showed anyone else before. But he trusted her, at least now he did.
The project was candid photos of everyone that had 'saved' him, everyone who gave him a second chance. Alex, Jessica, Zach, Justin, Clay, and her.
The photo of Zach looked amazing. He looked handsome, and tall. Ophelia looked fat, and pale in hers. She couldn't imagine being placed on the same wall as Zach and somebody not making fun of her for it.
"Everyone else looks better than me," she told him. "I look so horrible."
"You look beautiful, Ophelia," Tyler told her. He hesitated, "I'm not trying to be weird, but you always look beautiful. You know that, right?"
Ophelia blinked, caught off guard by the compliment. She wondered if he meant it. Did she look beautiful still?
"I don't know about that," she mumbled.
Tyler just stared at her.
"What?" she asked.
"It's just..." Tyler looked for the words. "You know you're, like, one of the prettiest girls at this school, right?"
Ophelia just said again, "What?"
"That's why boys are so mean to you. They think you're really pretty and are mad they can't have you. So they're just mean."
Ophelia felt herself smoothing her hair down. "I don't...I think they just don't like me."
"You're one of the most popular girls at this school," Tyler told her. "I mean, you have to know that. Your boyfriend is the captain of the football team. And people think you're out of his league. Why do you..." Tyler felt blown away. "Why would you think no one likes you?"
There was a sudden silence between them, caused by Ophelia. She was taken aback. More than that, she felt stunned. Tyler was speaking so confidently. More confidently than he had spoken about anything for a long time.
But Ophelia couldn't find it in her to believe it.
She was popular?
She wasn't even popular with her mom. Her own boyfriend had been gone for days. How could she believe she was popular at a high school?
She didn't have to answer him, fortunately, because someone else suddenly entered the dark room.
Ophelia turned around, and frowned when she saw who was there.
Charlie St. George?
Tyler turned around, and stepped closer to the table. He became more shy now. Ophelia spoke up for him.
"Um, Justin isn't here."
That was the only thing she could think of for him to be there.
He smiled at her.
"I was actually looking for you," Charlie explained.
Ophelia still gave him a blank expression.
He gave a nervous laugh. "Not in a weird way. I just-I was wondering if you knew where Zach was."
Ophelia just told him, simply, "I have no idea."
His mouth formed an 'O'.
He knew there were rumors they broke up. But Montgomery started the rumor, so he didn't believe it.
"He didn't tell you where he might be going?"
"No."
Charlie looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Okay, then. I guess I'll let you two go."
Ophelia just looked away, wanting him to have left already.
Charlie paused at the door. He asked her, "Did you guys hear about Jensen gettin arrested-"
"He didn't do it!" Tyler snapped, seemingly out of nowhere.
Charlie stepped back. "Um, okay..."
Ophelia tried to calm Tyler down, "I'm sure he knows. But everyone's talking about it anyways."
"Yeah," Charlie laughed. "Monty was even..." He stopped himself, staring at Ophelia. "Sorry, never mind."
Ophelia's face fell at the name, and she noticed Tyler had stiffened.
"Montgomery says anything he wants," Ophelia told him. "Even when it's not true."
Charlie wanted to defend his friend, but at the same time he didn't want to upset the girl in front of him. She seemed sad already, probably due to the fact her boyfriend was nowhere to be found.
So he spoke softly when he said, "He exaggerates sometimes, he's not a bad guy." Out of anyone, wouldn't she know? She was the one who went back to him, right?
Ophelia's face turned to one of pain.
Charlie regretted his words, and went to leave, but her voice stopped him.
"You think you know him," Ophelia spoke up, loudly.
Charlie hesitated, and turned around.
Ophelia gulped. "Yeah. I thought so too."
Those word stuck in Charlie's head for the rest of the day, especially during his study hall period with Montgomery.
They were supposed to be studying for the test, but Charlie couldn't get Ophelia's face out of his mind. Especially that depressed look she carried with her, and the eyes that hid stories.
Charlie debated talking to Montgomery about it, but he figured Montgomery owed him an explanation. After all, Charlie was the one lying to the police for him.
"Hey, about Homecoming night..." Charlie started.
Montgomery looked up. He frowned, suddenly nervous where this was going.
"You and, you know, Ophelia..."
What the hell brought this up? Montgomery felt himself sitting up a bit straighter.
"Did you two really...make love?"
Montgomery snorted. "Make love, Charlie? High schoolers don't make love anymore, they fuck."
Charlie strained to say, "So did you two really fuck?"
Montgomery huffed, and sat up straighter. "I already told you we did, why are you asking me this?"
Charlie started to say, "Well, I talked to Ophelia today-"
Montgomery cut him off quickly. His heart dropped at his words. "The fuck? When?"
Charlie felt surprised that he now seemed angry. He didn't know what for. "I just asked if she knew where Zach was."
"Don't fucking talk to her," Montgomery instructed him.
Charlie felt like maybe his friend was misunderstanding his motives. "I was just asking about Zach."
"I don't give a fuck about Zach," Montgomery told him.
Charlie leaned back, and sighed. "You know, Justin's been sticking up for her a lot. He's been saying she would never cheat on Zach-"
"So, what? She probably fucking Foley too. Getting him to keep people quiet."
"I just..." Charlie struggled, "I believed you. I mean, I do believe you. But she seems so shy, and-and quiet. I wouldn't think that she'd mean to-"
"She's not shy, Charlie. She's a whore. Now shut the fuck and help me finish this assignment."
Charlie bit his tongue. His mind was running wild, but he kept his mouth shut.
He didn't bring it up again.
*****
"Hey, wait!"
Ophelia didn't wait. In fact, she sped up.
Justin caught up to her anyway. He was faster, and had longer legs.
He wanted to ask to take her to Monet's. Actually, if she preferred, he would take her somewhere else. He just wanted time alone with her.
Not in a devious way, just so they had a place they could talk without worry.
But when Justin looked over Ophelia, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes, and the way she panted from a simple walk into the parking lot. She looked unhealthy, which wasn't a good thing for someone that was expecting.
"Are you alright?" he asked her. "You look tired."
He tried to take her backpack off her. She pulled it back.
"W-What are you doing?" she asked, bewildered.
He looked at the bag, "It looks too heavy."
"I'm fine, Justin," she assured him.
But Justin didn't believe that anymore. Not after learning what happened.
That was the main reason he wanted to take her out to Monet's. He wanted to buy time to figure out a way to tell her that he knew what happened Homecoming night. What really happened Homecoming night.
But she didn't tell him. Meaning she didn't want him to know. So how could he bring it up without upsetting her?
He didn't have an ulterior motive for knowing. He wasn't going to use anything against her. He just wanted her to know she could be honest. He didn't care who she hid stuff from, but she didn't have to hide from him.
She could be honest with how despicable she found Montgomery, because Justin's feelings were the exact same.
"Let me take you to Monty's."
Ophelia blinked. She grimaced at him. "Is that a joke?"
He frowned. "What?" His eyes suddenly widened. "Shit! I meant Monet's! I didn't mean to-fuck-he was just on my mind."
Ophelia looked unsure.
"No, not like that. I'm not gonna bring him up or anything, I just..."
Justin realized she was no closer to coming with him than before.
He glanced down at the keys in her hand. In a swift motion, he reached out and grabbed them.
"Hey!"
Justin shoved them in his pocket. "Let's go. I'll drive you home."
There was a glare in her eyes. "Justin," she seethed. "Do you understand I can't even have coffee right now?"
His mouth dropped open, and his eyes lowered to her stomach. "Oh..."
She self-consciously held her bag in front of her stomach. She didn't want him looking, just to see how fat she was getting.
"What about, like, hot chocolate?"
Ophelia admitted, "I...I don't know. I've never had to think of it."
"Maybe I can buy you food, then?"
Ophelia sighed. "Justin, you don't have to-"
"I know, I don't have to do anything. I just want to." Justin held up the keys. "And I have your keys, so you have to do what I say anyway."
She crossed her arms now. "I can still drive, you know."
"Yeah, but your car is more expensive than any car I'll ever have in my life. Let me have this experience."
She groaned. "Okay, fine. But we have to be quick, so my mom doesn't get suspicious."
Justin grinned, as he walked her to her car, and he did end up taking her bag from her.
"Push to start," he commented as he started the car. "Very nice."
She smiled to herself as he took in all the features.
"How was your first shift with Tyler?" Justin asked her. He was still shocked she volunteered for it.
Ophelia told him, honestly. "It was nice. It's quiet in the dark room. Not a lot of people to bother us."
Charlie was the only one to come in, but he left pretty quickly.
This made Justin wary. "I don't know if it's a good idea to have you in there by yourself. Maybe you should watch him in a more public place."
Ophelia didn't consider she had been in danger until he just mentioned it. But thinking of Ophelia alone with a dangerous man was all he had been thinking of for two days. It had been all he worried about.
Ophelia said, "Maybe."
Ophelia looked out the window, and thought back to her time with Tyler. She wasn't scared. It was the first time she wasn't scared around him. He caused her gut wrenching fear at the Spring Fling, yet, when she saw him that day it felt like it never happened. He seemed so different, like the new him could never hurt a soul. Maybe it was all an act.
Still, the time she spent with him wasn't bad.
Ophelia turned back to Justin, smiling, and said, "You know, Tyler told me that I was one of the prettiest girls in school."
Justin laughed. "He did?"
Ophelia's smile dropped in an instant. She looked back out the window.
Well, that confirmed it. His laughter confirmed that it must have been some kind of joke. Tyler had been lying. Why had she believed him? She knew what she looked like, so why did she let his words get to her head?
Justin noticed her sudden solemn look. He said, still smiling, "Okay, I'm sorry. But the kid's weird. I bet he has a crush on you."
Ophelia said, lowly, "You mean for him to lie like that?"
He frowned, "What?"
When they came to a stop light, he looked over at her. "Wait, I wasn't laughing because I thought it wasn't true. It's just-he's weird, isn't he?"
Ophelia stayed facing away.
Justin felt terrible. "Ophelia. Obviously, you're beautiful. That's not why I laughed."
"Okay," she just said.
"Honestly, it's good you had a boyfriend so quick freshmen year, or else I would've gone after you, and then our friendship would be weird."
Ophelia looked back at Justin. "What are you talking about?"
"He was right, you are really pretty. Why do think we let Monty take you everywhere?"
Ophelia sat up a little taller. She just mumbled, "I dunno."
"I really didn't mean to laugh," he said, again.
The neared Monet's.
"It's fine, Justin," she told him. "I don't know why I brought it up."
God, now he felt really fucking terrible.
She got out of the car before him, but stopped suddenly.
Her breathed hitched in her throat. "Oh..."
"What's wrong?" Justin asked, coming up behind her. He froze too when he spotted what she did.
Zach. And Chloe. Sitting across from each other at Monet's. They were drinking coffee, and talking. All the way in the back of the coffeehouse, like they didn't want to be interrupted.
"Oh," Ophelia just said, again. This time, her voice much, much deeper.
She turned back towards the car, and Justin saw her face now.
Ophelia was crying.
She tried to hide it. She wiped her eyes as quickly as she could, and sniffed, trying to clear her nose.
"What the fuck is he doing?" Justin said, now angry.
Ophelia cleared her throat, and wiped her eyes again.
"It doesn't matter. I-I broke up with him the other day."
"No, you didn't," Justin tried to say. "You were just freaking out, he knows that."
Justin looked at Zach and Chloe through the window and glared at them. "That-That son of a bitch!"
"Stop it," she scolded Justin.
"He's not being fair to you," Justin told her.
She just shook her head. "What's not fair is me apparently keeping him from who he wanted to be with all along."
Ophelia knew Zach had had a crush on Chloe. She didn't know he still did. And she didn't know that it was so strong that he would run to her the first chance he got.
Ophelia was glad he didn't tell him the truth about Montgomery, so that he didn't have to suffer with Ophelia and hide his true feelings any longer.
Justin scoffed. "We should go talk to him, this can't be what it looks like."
"Why not?" Ophelia asked.
"Because it can't be," he insisted. "He loves you, Ophelia. I'm so sure he still does. He's just upset and confused."
"Upset and confused," Ophelia laughed. "He always is with me. Never with her though."
"Ophelia-"
She had her car door open again, and hopped back inside.
Justin got in the drivers seat. "We can go somewhere else," he offered.
"Just take me home," she begged him. She knew he could see how upset she was, and it was embarrassing her, especially since she couldn't hide the tears in her eyes. "Please, just do me a favor and take me home."
Justin looked at her with pity, and it embarrassed her any more.
Was that all people felt about her anymore? Pity?
Lust and pity?
Like she was a worthless girl good for one thing. She didn't even know why Justin was there with her. He had a girlfriend, right? Why was he bothering with her?
Because she was pregnant? God, she was making the poor boy help her out. She trapped someone that had nothing to do with her, all for a baby that would probably grow up without a father.
"You don't have to keep hanging out with me just because I'm pregnant," she told him.
Justin frowned. "That's not why I'm hanging out with you, Ophelia."
"Then why did you to take me out today?"
Justin kept silent. He didn't want to admit it was to talk about Montgomery, and how he knew what he did to her.
Ophelia let out a humorous laugh. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you," he told her. "We're friends. We have been."
Friends. Again, she felt like that always turned out so horrible for people.
"I can't do this," Ophelia suddenly cried.
"Can't do what? You mean, like, the baby?"
"I don't even want it to be a baby," she told him. "I don't have anyone, Justin. I've sent everyone away."
"You didn't send me away."
"I'm not going to make you help with a baby that has nothing to do with you," she snapped at him.
And in the back of her mind, she knew that was why she sent Zach away. She knew it probably didn't have anything to do with him.
"You're not making me do anything," he assured her. "I want to!"
"Why would you want to?"
"I don't think things will be as bad as you think they'll be," he told her.
She scoffed. "A teen pregnancy? How the fuck can that be anything but a disaster?"
Justin stared at the road. "I was a teen pregnancy."
Ophelia blinked. "Really?"
Justin seemed nervous to admit to her, "My mom looks a lot older because she's been taking whatever she can get her hands on. But, she got pregnant in high school. I think right when she turned eighteen she started..." He hesitated. "She started doing stuff, with men, when she couldn't afford her drugs anymore."
Ophelia get ashamed for making him speak of it. "Oh my god," she whispered.
"She never told me who my dad was. Maybe she just didn't know. But she raised me mostly alone. Except for some boyfriends along the way. But they didn't give a fuck about me, they just gave her more money."
She watched as he cringed when speaking of the boyfriends.
"I wouldn't really want a kid to have to grow up like that, without a man that can protect them." He changed his words quickly, "I'm sure you could protect them, though. But, there's some sick fucks out there."
Justin regretted his words instantly, remembering that Ophelia, our of anyone, knew that.
"You never talk that great about your mom," she pointed out. "What if I make mistakes that make my kid hate me?"
"I don't hate my mom," he said, quickly. "And you have a better life already. Even if you raised a baby alone, they'd be better off than I ever was."
Justin bit his lip, "I think if I had a mom like you, I would've turned out a lot better." He wouldn't have pills hidden away in his backpack.
Ophelia wiped her eyes again.
"I'm going to help you," he continued. "So don't fucking worry about whether or not you have a boyfriend, or husband, or whatever. You have Justin fucking Foley. I'll be in this town forever. I'm probably gonna go to the college up the way after all, so you'll always have me."
Justin never wanted to go to that college before. What if he wanted to skip town after all, like so many kids there age?
"But what if-"
"It doesn't matter," he told her again. "I'll be here, Ophelia. I'm always gonna be here."
*****
There was an irony in Ophelia holding onto Montgomery for comfort, while also feeling the string from the pain of her nose.
Ophelia cling to Montgomery for safety and protection, while at the same time being scared of his extreme reactions to things.
It was sophomore year, almost two months after the Winter Formal. Two months after Montgomery hit her for the first time.
Ophelia was constantly trying her hardest not to think of that dance again. Or how livid he became, and how much he had hurt her.
After a few weeks, things were able to go back to normal for them. Almost. There was always a fear she would carry with her now. A fear that, maybe she had to think before she spoke, because something she could say something that would cause Montgomery to get angry again. And she never wanted to see him as angry as that night again.
They began living by their normal schedules again. They became inseparable, but because they wanted to be, and not because Montgomery was worried if she were alone for too long she would tell someone about him putting his hands on her.
But, eventually, it was put in the past. All Ophelia wanted to do was look to the future.
Sex had been different between them for a while. There were times during it where Ophelia found herself feeling no pleasure at all until the end. It was like she wasn't trying to finish, her body just did it for her. She was always willing, and always into it.
Until the day she suddenly wasn't.
It was Hannah's fault. The way that Hannah looked at her in the hallways, drilling into her eyes, especially when she was with Montgomery. She wanted Ophelia to know she knew what Montgomery did to her, having witnessed him hitting her at the dance, and that she would never forget it.
Well, Ophelia would never forget it either.
But Hannah's stares bothered her even more than usual day, mostly because it was the first day Ophelia was able to go to school without a bandage on her nose. She tried to use foundation to the injury, and it worked alright. But the bruise was so dark and damaging, she could feel people staring at it all day long.
Then there was the rumor.
Was it a rumor?
Everyone knew how Montgomery got, and how quick tempered he was. Someone tried to say there was no car accident, and that he went at Ophelia himself. It was a rumor that spread the first day she got back to school. So Montgomery took a bat and fucked up the back of his car, and then added in a story where someone actually hit them. The rumor went away, with the 'proof'. No one questioned them. Only Hannah.
So Ophelia just felt off that entire day.
And when her and Montgomery went back to her house, and he started touching her, wanting to have sex, she...didn't want to. She knew she wouldn't enjoy it. But she didn't want to tell him that. She didn't want to be a burden.
So she let Montgomery take her clothes off, and she stayed quiet as he started to fuck her.
Until her mind forced her body into the same mood.
Montgomery thrusted into her, moaning as he did so. His head in the crook of her shoulder, sucking on her skin. He gripped her like she would slip away if he didn't.
At first, things were fine. They felt normal. Until a sudden discomfort hit her.
The more he thrusted inside of her, the more she felt a sudden stinging feeling.
Her face wrinkled up, and she cringed.
He slid into her again, without realizing that she had become dryer.
"Monty..." she tried to get his attention.
Hearing her say his name fueled his lust even more. He began thrusting faster.
"Shit, Ophelia..." he moaned. His hands moved to her shoulder, and to her waist. He moved her whole body faster. "Fuck..."
She let out a low, "Oh!" The sound was caused by a pain in her lower area.
Something was wrong. She felt dry all of a sudden. She must have let her mind wander for too long. His movements hurt.
"Monty, stop," she whispered.
He didn't.
"Monty, wait." She brought up her hands to his shoulder, and gave a light push. "Stop."
The discomfort caused her skin to ache.
When he didn't stop, she pushed him harder. He rose off of her, and she tried sitting up.
As soon as his erection left her body, she felt a relief. But the stinging continued, like she had been cut.
"I think-"
"What the fuck?" he snapped at her.
She flinched back. He sounded mad. Actually, he sounded really mad.
He grabbed her waist, and pulled her back under him. She gasped at his roughness.
"Monty, I need a break," she breathed, trying to close her legs. She tried to stay calm, and explain things to him.
She felt his grip suddenly in between her legs, and he used his hands to pull them open. He gripped her thighs, and pulled her back under him.
"Hey!" she snapped, a little more worried. "Monty!"
"Come on, O. I'm so fucking close." He almost whined the words. "Just give me another minute, I'll be done."
"What?" She pulled away from him again. "But-I don't want to-"
"Come here," he told her. He pulled her back down.
"Monty!" she snapped. "It's hurting!"
"It's fine," he told her. "Come here."
"I-"
Montgomery suddenly had her legs back open. Before she could say another word, he thrusted back into her.
"Ow!" She cringed again, and pushed against him shoulders. "Monty, stop!"
He gripped her harder. She couldn't move now. He started moving faster on top of her.
She gasped at how rough his hands had become, holding her much more tightly than before.
"I'm almost fucking there," he told her.
"I said I didn't-"
"Shut the fuck up," he breathed. He cut himself off with his own moan.
She pushed at him again, and this time he grabbed her forearm, and pinned it down.
Ophelia shut her eyes tightly. She grit her teeth, but as Montgomery continued, she felt the pain going away. She must have been getting wet again.
He slowed down for a moment, before picking up the pace again.
"Oh, shit..." she breathed. She felt herself orgasming, surprising herself. "Oh!"
Montgomery was panting, "Fuck...fuck...fuck!"
Montgomery lost his grip, and fell on top of her as he finished inside of her. He breathed heavily, his whole body heaving.
Ophelia tried to catch her breath too. She could still feel where the pain had been earlier, but it barely bothered her now. Her lower area was now throbbing in pleasure from her climax.
"See?" Montgomery panted. "We just needed another minute."
Ophelia gulped, and frowned. Still out of breath, she managed to say, "I wanted to stop because I felt too dry. It was hurting."
Montgomery rolled off her, and laid next to her instead. He put his arm over her pillow, and she crawled up and cuddled next to him.
"Well, good thing we didn't," he joked.
Ophelia's mouth formed a thin line. "You shouldn't have grabbed me like that. What if it kept hurting?"
Montgomery scoffed. "Well, it didn't. You liked it, didn't you? So shut the fuck up about it."
Ophelia sat up, and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're so fucking mean, Monty."
His face fell at her sudden extreme reaction. "What? I'm not being mean, I was kidding."
"No, you weren't," she snapped.
She stood up suddenly, and grabbed her shirt, pulling it over her head.
Montgomery grabbed her arm lightly, and pulled her back towards the bed. "Hey, come on. I'm sorry, alright?"
He froze as he noticed her wrists. He could see the red fingers marks clearly. They looked bright red, and were fading into a dark bruise.
He pulled away from her. "Shit, I'm..." he scratched the back of his head, guilty. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know I was hurting you."
Ophelia felt herself cringing as she looked at her arm. "I told you that you were hurting me."
Montgomery looked away. "I'm sorry, okay? Just-come back. We'll lay here for a while. We can talk about it."
Ophelia still felt the throbbing on her arm, and stinging of her body. Neither of them pointed it out, but they both saw the bruises on her thighs from where Montgomery forced her legs to stay open. She could only wonder if anything was on her shoulders.
The injury on her nose was almost gone. It would have been too convenient if he didn't give her anymore.
She laid her head back on his shoulder, and he grabbed a blanket to lay over them.
Ophelia was so enthralled with the boy, she even believed him when he lied to her.
"If I realized you really wanted to stop, I would've stopped."
She had been so caught up in his warm embrace, that she forgot the part where he pinned her to the bed.
"I promise, O. I'll never hurt you again."
*****
The thing Ophelia hated most about being caught in an abusive relationship, was that everyone was effected by the news. And everyone reacted in the same way.
'I'm sorry, Ophelia.'
'I should've seen the signs.'
'I should've helped you.'
'It's my fault for not noticing.'
It was never their fault. Ophelia depised the fact that she made so many people think so.
The only people at fault for her relationship was Montgomery and her.
Montgomery was at fault for the pain. And Ophelia was responsible for the denial.
Looking over her junior years, Ophelia recognized how far her denial had gone. She swore to everyone Hannah was a liar. She swore Montgomery was a great boyfriend, and the times he wasn't was because she was being a bad girlfriend. Whether it was unknowingly flirting with a boy, to not answering his texts fast enough.
It wasn't until Montgomery hurt her this badly that she realized how much pain he had caused her the entire time.
Had she seen the signs, would things be different? If she had put her foot down the time in sophmore year when he didn't listen to her when she said for him to stop when they were sex, would he have stilled done what he did Homecoming night?
After a lot of consideration, Ophelia thought he would have.
No matter what she did, it was his mind that convinced itself it was okay to go into her house, and to force her into something she didn't want to do. It was him at fault.
But who could she blame her orgasm on?
Had she not slept with Zach after it happened, Ophelia would have tried to tell herself it was easier for her than most people. It was hard not to finish.
But she had been so bent on getting Montgomery's touch off of her, that she had thrown herself at Zach nearly everyday. And she didn't orgasm from him. So maybe it wasn't easy all the time.
Ophelia recalled the times in her relationships when Montgomery had been more rough with her in bed.
She specifically remembered the time in her sophomore year when she tried to stop having sex with him, and he forced her to finish with him.
She wondered, was that assault? Had he been capable of it all along?
Was he always so willing to hold her down and use her for pleasure, and she just never realized it?
She heard knocking on the front door downstairs. Her mother would be home soon, so she just ignored it. She'd rather not get caught talking to someone when she got home. She wouldn't want to risk acting like a 'whore' again.
She shook her head, and then suddenly jumped to her feet as she heard the front door open.
Her heart started pounding it her chest, just how it did on Homecoming night. Who was here, coming into the house uninvited?
It couldn't be her mother, she would be yelling already.
So who was here, breaking into her house?
Ophelia felt frozen. And she felt fearful. The same fear she felt that might.
Was it Montgomery? Had he come back already? Did he want more?
Ophelia felt like she could cry just thinking about it. What could she do? There was nowhere she could go if they were already in her house.
She became more and more terrified with every step they took. She heard them come up the stairs, and stop at her room.
She stumbled back, and found herself frozen against the wall, not knowing what to do.
The door opened, and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
Zach came in.
"Can I come in?"
Ophelia pushed herself off the wall. She was relieved, but his presence also stressed her.
"Zach, get out of here," she mumbled.
He frowned. "That's all you have to say? You haven't tried to contact me in days."
She glared at him. "You've been gone. And-And it's not even like you wanted me to. I can tell your done with me."
"What?" he snapped.
"Just leave, Zach," she told him again.
He scoffed.
"First of all, you already admitted that you're pregnant. And the father might be your ex boyfriend who you fucking cheated on me with while I was in the fucking hospital. So if I wanted to be done with you, I'd have every fucking reason to be."
Ophelia flinched back at his loud voice.
Zach sighed, and said softer, "But I'll never be done with you, Ophelia. You should know that. I love you."
Ophelia crossed her arms. "I saw you. I know you've moved on."
He frowned. "Saw me where?" It dawned on him. "Did you go to Monet's."
"Yes," she admitted. "And I saw you with Chloe. And you guys look so much better together, Zach. Like a damn Disney couple. It's like if Li Shang dated fucking Cinderella-"
"Ophelia, you should've come in," he told her. "You should've come up to us. I could've explained it to you."
She scoffed. "Explained what?"
"We weren't there on a date, Ophelia. We were there talking about you." He sighed. "And, by the way, Li Shang technically couldn't speak English, so that wouldn't have worked anyways."
Ophelia just huffed, and looked away.
"What, were you guys making fun of me or something?"
"No!" He told her. "Listen, I was talking to her because...I thought...I thought it'd be a good idea for the two of you to talk."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "About what?"
Zach sighed. "About...whether or not you'd want to get an abortion."
Ophelia's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You talked to her for me?"
"I want you to have all your options," he told her. "It was a little hard to convince her to come back to town, but I didn't want you to feel pushed into anything. Especially if you don't want to keep it, I want you to be able to talk to her. Maybe there's something that would've changed her mind that could change yours."
Ophelia stepped closer. She repeated. "You talked to her for me?"
"Of course I did," he told her. He sighed. "I know that Montgomery used to have this hold on you. I don't want to have another reason to force you to be with him."
Ophelia didn't understand. Why was he being so kind after her? She told him she cheated on him.
"I want to ask you something," Zach told her. "And, if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. But if you're not ready to, then I'll wait. Or, you never have to talk about it. It's up to you. I just need a 'yes' or 'no' answer."
Ophelia gulped. "A 'yes' or 'no' answer?"
Zach took a deep breath. "Did you chose to cheat on me?"
Ophelia felt herself sigh in relief. It was such a simple answer, no long explanation needed. He was giving her the ability to admit she never meant for disloyalty, while not having to admit something she barely admitted to herself.
"No," she told him. "I didn't want to."
Zach cringed. "Okay. That's all I needed to know." He reached out and touched her face, softly. "I love you, Ophelia. I'm sorry I was gone, I won't be again."
"You mean..." Ophelia had a hard time believing it. "You still want to be with me?"
Zach didn't have to think for a moment. His answer was immediate.
"Of course I do."
Ophelia was overcome with emotion as she lunged forward and embraced Zach. He held her with just as much gratitude.
*****
"I'm gonna fucking kill you if you spill that," Montgomery snapped at his younger sister.
There was no practice that morning. It was cancelled due to the rain. So he had to drive Estella to school as well. His father insisted on it.
She sat smug in her seat, an uncovered cup of coffee at her lips. She hadn't found the lip, but didn't care.
She laughed as she brought it away from herself. "There's so many fucking stains on your floor, would you even notice?"
Montgomery scoffed. His floor wasn't that bad.
"Your blood stain wouldn't be noticeable after I fucking kill you," he mumbled lowly.
She just laughed at his attitude.
Montgomery was driving, but that didn't stop him from pulling his phone out of his pocket, and answering it when it started ringing.
"That's dangerous!" Estella gasped. "You should put it on speaker."
"You should shut the fuck up," he snapped back.
He wouldn't risk it on speaker. He didn't know what would be said.
Nothing that bad, he realized. It was Scott calling.
"What's up, Scotty?" Montgomery answered with a smile.
"Holy fuck, Monty. You didn't tell me Clay fucking Jensen killed Bryce."
Montgomery snorted at his worried tone. "Nah, I don't think fucking Cory did it. They're just arresting him to be assholes."
"Why would they do that?"
"Because all police officers are assholes?" Montgomery laughed again.
"That's fucked up if it's true, though," Scott told him. "Even if it's not him, they really think it was a high schooler? Someone that knew him?"
"School is where he had all his enemies," Montgomery pointed out. "Especially at Liberty, they fucking hated him."
Estella frowned. "Are you talking about Bryce?"
He ignored her.
"But you didn't," Scott commented. "You said you guys made up at the Spring Fling? And you hung out over the summer?"
Montgomery hesitated. "Yeah, I guess."
"Did you see him after the Homecoming game at all?"
Montgomery's grip on the wheel suddenly tightened. "Why the fuck is everyone asking me this?"
"Who else is asking?"
"I'm sick of this game," Montgomery said. "I didn't see Bryce. I never..." Montgomery paused. "I never said goodbye."
Estella's head snapped to her brother. She sensed sadness in his voice. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I didn't mean it like that," Scott said, guilty. "I just heard Bryce was doing better. Someone said he was trying to become a better guy. I just wished I had been able to see him myself to find out if it was true."
Montgomery thought about Homecoming night, and when he spoke to Bryce. He thought of their last conversation. "Better person? I don't know about that." He then recalled a phone call, one he hadn't told anyone about. "I guess he was trying, yeah."
"...And what about you? Are you still doing good?"
"I'm fine, Scott."
Estella's eyes widened, and she smiled. She recognized the name of the cute, older athlete.
"Oh, is that Scott Reed?" she asked, with a smile. "Does he remember m-"
Montgomery barely hit a bump in the road, and because she was distracted, Estella suddenly lost her grip on the cup. It tilted, nearly half of it falling on the floor.
"Ah!" the hot coffee hit her hands.
Montgomery looked over in an instant. "Estella, what the fuck?"
"I'm sorry-"
"You stupid fucking bitch!" he shouted at her.
Estella flinched, and pushed herself as far away from him as possible, her body against the door.
"I didn't mean to! You hit a bump!"
"Dammit!" he screamed at her. "Clean it up!"
Estella panicked, looking in his glove box. "You-You don't have any napkins!"
"Fuck, Estella!" he snapped, cruelly. "You're such a fucking-"
"Monty!"
Scott suddenly shouted at him the other end of the phone.
"Calm down!"
"I told this cunt not to bring her coffee into my fucking car-"
"I'm sorry!" Estella cried out, still looking for something to clean the coffee with.
"What the fuck was the point of all that anger management if you still don't know how to calm down?" Scott asked him. "I've literally spilt an entire beer in your car before."
"That's different-"
"It's not!" Scott snapped. "Apologize to your sister for being so fucking rude."
Montgomery scoffed. "No, she fucking deserved it."
"She didn't," he insisted. "But if you won't apologize, at least stop yelling."
Montgomery exhaled sharply out his nose. He glanced at his sister. "There's a towel in my gym bag."
Estella grabbed the bag quickly to clean the mess.
"See how things are easier when you aren't being a fucking prick?"
"Jesus, Scotty. Hop off it. I calmed down, okay?"
"You're fucked if that's what calm is for you."
He groaned. "Well, my life's fucked either way."
Scott paused. "No, it's not. I hear your team's been good this year. I'm sure baseball will be even better."
Montgomery scoffed. "You haven't been to a game, how do you know how we're doing?"
"I'm smart enough to look up stats."
Montgomery hesitated. He felt nervous asking, "Okay, but, are you still gonna come to the next game?"
Scott answered quickly, "Of course. I'll be down next week. We'll see each other then. We'll be able to hang out for the first time since, you know." Since Bryce's funeral.
"Yeah, at least we don't need a fucking funeral as a reason to be in the same room."
Scott was still surprised how easily Montgomery spoke about his ex-best friend's funeral.
"See you soon, Monty."
Montgomery sighed. "Hopefully by the time you get here I won't be surrounded by fucking idiots."
Estella frowned, and mocked him when he turned away.
"Things'll be better soon, Monty. Promise."
Montgomery didn't realize he was smiling to himself, until he hung up the phone, and caught his sister laughing.
"You sounded like you were talking to a boyfriend, more than a friend," she laughed, and then mimicked his voice to say, "'Oh, Scott, when are you coming to watch me play?'"
Montgomery clenched his jaw.
"Say some faggot ass shit like that again and I'm going to smack the shit out of you."
Estella's smile fell, and she frowned as she went back to wiping up her coffee. "I was just joking."
"I wasn't," he scoffed. "I don't fucking care who sees."
Estella felt a chill run down her body as she studied her brother's familiar attitude.
"You look like dad."
Montgomery gripped his steering wheel tighter.
"Shut the fuck up, Estella."
He gassed it, jolting Estella in her seat as he sped the rest of the way to school.
That look never leaving his eyes.
*****
"So...you and Zach are back to normal again?" Tyler asked her.
It was her second babysitting turn.
Ophelia bit her lip, but couldn't hide her smile.
"Yeah, we are. It's...nice."
Ophelia regretted the fact that this was her and Zach's third time getting back together in their less than year long relationship. Each time it was her choice to end things with him. She should count herself lucky he was still wanting her back.
She recalled the long conversation they had the night before.
Zach assured her that if she kept the baby he would help her, buy anything, be there whenever she needed it. He even offered to tell her mother for her.
And while Ophelia appreciated all of it, and loved to hear how supportive he was willing to be, she knew her mind still wasn't made up.
She knew Zach was hoping the baby was his after all. But part of her knew it couldn't be, no matter how much she hoped it was.
"Have you told him about, um, Montgomery yet?" Tyler questioned.
Ophelia sighed, and shook her head. "I haven't been able to tell anyone the full truth. Just you. But, it's okay. I'll be able to tell him someday. And he already told me he forgives me for it."
Tyler frowned. "You don't have to be forgiven."
"I know," she said quickly. Although, she did feel responsible for Montgomery being in her house at all that night. "But, for now, I still just want it to be our secret. No one else can know. Except for Clay, I guess."
Tyler nodded. "And Justin."
Ophelia froze.
Justin?
"What? Did-Did Clay tell Justin what happened?"
No. God, no.
Tyler hesitated. "I thought you told Justin what happened."
What the fuck was he talking about?
"Why would you think that?"
Tyler panicked. "He came in here, and said you told him. He-He was asking me about it."
"I didn't tell him anything!" Ophelia insisted. "Did you tell him something?"
"I-I-" He felt ashamed, and gullible. "He seemed to already know everything."
"So you talked to him about it?" she exclaimed.
"I had no idea, he seemed so-"
"Tyler," Ophelia called. "What the fuck did you tell Justin?"
*****
"Can we talk somewhere?" Justin asked Jessica.
Jessica scoffed. He was following her down the hallway, but she was not giving him the time of day.
"No, I'm busy," she lied, while clearing having nothing to do.
"Jessica, wait," he tried. He ran in front of her, and blocked her.
"Would it help at all if I told you I'm temporarily football captain?" he asked.
Jessica frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Justin looked around, before looking back to her. "It's...impressive, right?"
She groaned. "Justin, you broke up with me. I really wouldn't give a fuck if you were the football king."
Justin felt like he had to break up with her. Or else Alex was going to tell her he was using again. But that didn't mean he didn't love her still.
"I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright," he admitted.
Jessica laughed. "Are you kidding me, Justin? You don't get to ask me that. You don't even get to talk to me anymore."
"Jessica..." she brushed past him. When she did so, she nearly ran into Ophelia, who was suddenly hot on Justin's trail.
Ophelia side stepped Jessica, not saying a word to her, just going straight to Justin.
She screamed at him, "You had no fucking right, Justin!"
Jessica frowned. "Woah, Ophelia-"
"All this bullshit about you wanting to be there for me, it's because you-you feel bad for me."
"No," Justin tried to tell her quickly.
"I don't want to hear it anymore!" she told him. "You don't have to worry about me, okay? You-You can just leave me alone."
"Ophelia!"
He called for her, but she was racing down the hall quickly.
Justin turned to Jessica, whose eyes were wide.
"What happened?" she asked him.
Justin felt guilty for saying, "I can't..."
He looked back down the hall.
"Well, is she okay?" Jessica asked him.
"I have to go," he told her.
"O-Okay."
Justin ran down the hall after Ophelia.
"Ophelia, come on!"
He caught up to her quickly.
"You come on," she snapped at him. "I know what you did. How you tricked Tyler into telling you what happened. Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel?"
"Humiliated?"
He reached out and stopped her. The hallway they stood in seemed empty. He wasn't afraid to speak up.
"Ophelia, there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed at all."
"You've known for days and you didn't say anything," she told him, angry. "How could you not say anything?"
Justin winced. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."
Ophelia turned away. "Are you going to tell Zach?"
Justin frowned. "Didn't you?"
"No. He forgave me, for 'cheating'. I don't have to tell him."
"But..." Justin couldn't seem to understand. "You didn't cheat on him."
"I didn't want to," she told him. "That doesn't mean I didn't."
"That's exactly what it means!" He told her. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Montgomery raped you."
Ophelia flinched at the word. "Stop."
"I don't understand why you haven't wanted to tell anyone," he told her. "Do you think we won't believe you? I do. Everyone will."
Ophelia shook her head, and glared at the ground. "Everyone won't believe me because I'm going to tell everyone. Do you know what'll happen if my mom finds out? God, I probably won't ever be let out again."
"You got raped and your biggest worry is your mom finding out?"
"Stop saying that," she hissed at him.
He ran a hand through his hair. "Ophelia, I just don't want you to think it was your fault or anything."
"It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what happened," she told him. "And I feel like I betrayed Zach that night. And anyone else who heard what I did will too."
"You didn't do anything!" he told her. "There is no reason for you to feel guilty about it!"
"You don't understand, Justin! You could never understand!"
Justin's face fell for a moment. She saw a distant look in his eye. He gulped. "Maybe if you told me I could understand."
"I...I can't, Justin. I can't talk about this. I can't talk about any of it."
"Why?" Justin asked her. "If you're embarrassed, you don't have to be. I promise I'll understand!"
"How could you understand?" she demanded. "You'll never know what it's like to be forced into something like that!"
He went silent for a moment.
"I..."
She saw him wipe his hand over his face. He took a deep breath, before looking back at her.
"I kind of do, Ophelia."
Ophelia couldn't understand. "What?"
"It's like I told you the other day," he explained, clearing his throat to keep his voice steady. "There's some sick fucks out there."
She lost her breath. She just repeated, "W-What?"
"Trust me, I understand why people want to keep certain things a secret, but this is different. You have nothing to be ashamed of, he does." Justin winced. "I've been hurt and I've h-hurt people." Jessica's party flashed across his mind. "I've carried everything with me and-and it's destroyed me. You don't need to do that."
Ophelia couldn't get her mind off his sudden confession.
"What do you mean you've been hurt?"
Justin could only shrug. "My mom never kept the best company when I was a kid."
"Oh my god..." She grabbed her stomach. She felt sick. "Justin..."
"That's not-I didn't-" He now seemed frustrated. "I didn't mean to make this about me."
"What?" she breathed. "Justin, are you kidding? Here I am y-yelling at you and you've been through worse then I have-"
"That's not true," he told her. "You were raped."
"It's not the same," she insisted. "I-I wasn't raped the way that you think."
He frowned, beyond confused. "What does that mean?"
Ophelia covered her face for a moment. She wanted to change the subject completely. "Zach knows we were together. It doesn't matter now. He's able to move past it."
"That doesn't mean you are."
She looked back up at him.
"Justin..." She wanted him to speak to her more about what happened, but out of anyone she knew how hard it might be.
"Ophelia, you don't have to worry about me," he tried to say. "You can worry about, you know..." he trailed off, glancing at her stomach. "Especially since you and Zach are back together."
How could she more worry about him? She felt like her heart broke.
And her pregnancy? That wasn't something she wanted to worry about. It wasn't even something she wanted to think about.
She saw his nervousness after confessing to her, so she confessed to him.
"I think it's Montgomery's baby," Ophelia breathed, finally admitting the tragedy on her mind.
Justin seemed shocked. But then again, it had crossed his mind once he learned about Homecoming night.
"How would you know?"
"I just...I just know. I don't know how to explain it."
They stood in silence for a moment. Justin wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how. Ophelia wanted to comfort him, but didn't know how.
"Justin...I don't know what to do." She took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell Zach that I don't want to keep it."
Justin let out a deep breath of air. "Okay. Okay, you've made a decision, that's um, that's good."
She winced. "Do you think it's the wrong one?"
"I don't know," he admitted.
Ophelia bit her lip.
"But I'll still help you," Justin assured her.
He stepped closer.
"Like I said, O. I'm always gonna be here."