"So Dallas, how are you feeling today?" My therapists asks as I stretch out on the couch.
"I'm doing good. Better than I was months ago. My life has changed a lot since I've been coming here."
"That's good. Explain how it has changed."
She writes down her responses and mine as I continue talking, looking at the pictures on the wall instead of facing her. It's easier to talk this way.
"Before coming here, I was spiraling downhill. I drank and smoke until I blacked out every night. I was so angry and didn't care who feelings I hurt because my feelings were hurt about the situation with Milani. Now I've started more positive activities like hooping and playing the game. I put the bottle down, but I do still smoke, not as much though. I've started to be nice to the people around me and I apologized to Chanel and Tae for the way I talked to them when Milani left."
"What else is going on in the lives of others around you? How are they dealing with Milani being gone? I know everyone cared so much about her."
"Chanel and Brandon got back together about three months after Milani left. I talked about everything with Brandon and we boys again. He blamed Chanel instead of me so they had to work through that shit themselves. Tae and his girlfriend are expecting so he doesn't come around much. He's too busy preparing to be a father. He's changed his life around a lot. He's on the honor roll at school, he's able to completely walk without any help, he's started working and stopped smoking. My pops proposed to his lil nurse, Hazel. I told him not to because I don't trust her. She's hiding something but I don't know what it is. I think everyone is dealing with Milani leaving in their own ways. When we're all together we don't talk about her at all."
"Okay Dallas, give me a minute to write everything down. While I'm doing that I want you to think about this question: what are you waiting on to get your family back? I've been seeing your progress and I think you're ready to be the man Milani needs you to be."
As she writes, I start to think about the question. I know exactly what is holding me back, but I can't tell her. She'll have to report what I'm saying and I don't need that shit. That's the same reason I didn't tell her that I almost killed myself when Milani left.
"I don't know." I lie smoothly.
"What do you mean you don't know? There has to be something that is holding you back." She says, looking concerned.
"I said I don't know."
"We're done for today, Dallas. At your next appointment, I'll be expecting the truth. I can see it all over your face that you're conflicted about something and I hope you tell me what that is next time."
Getting up from the couch, I walk out of her office and stop at the front desk to pay for today's session. One thing about Doctor James, she'll end the session when you start lying and I'm glad because I couldn't stay in there while she's asking me what I'm waiting on to get my family back.
As I get into my car, my phone buzzes from the same number that continues to text me, blackmailing me. Whoever it is claims to know about what we did to Tony, Jarell, and Holloway. I don't know if they do or not, but I can't risk it. That's the real reason I haven't tried to get my family back. I don't want to put them in any danger. Pulling out my phone, I read the messages and reply.
"FUCH!!!" I scream out, slamming my hands on the steering wheel as I drive back to my house.
As soon as I'm inside, I stare at the multiple bottles of liquor and contemplating drinking one then remember that I've been sober when it comes to alcohol. Taking a deep breath, I walk upstairs and change into my workout clothes then head outside. I put my AirPods into my ears and play Make No Sense by NBA Youngboy then start jogging.
My thoughts revert back to the fact that I have to shoot somebody and I push myself harder and hard, running as fast as I can; beads of sweat rolling down my body. My chest heaves up and down as I let the music flow through me; only slowing down when I realize that there's a car following me. Slowly glancing behind me, I see a black old school corvette with red side mirrors and red tires. My brain immediately thinks of a plan to lose the car. I pick up the pace of my jogging and just as I'm about to turn the corner to disappear, gun shots pierce my ears as I duck on the ground; covering my head.
"You better do what the fuck you gotta do tonight or else we'll fuck up the people you love, starting with that bitch in Vegas!!!" A deep voice calls out.
The car speeds away blowing smoke and screeching loudly so I quickly jump up, but they're too far gone for me to see the license plate. Checking my body, I make sure no bullets grazed me then jog back home. Any doubts that I had about not doing the job went away the moment Milani was mentioned.
Walking into the house, I walk upstairs and take a long shower then lay out the materials needed for tonight which consists of all black, a ski mask, my gun, and a picture I printed of me and Milani. Going back downstairs, I make myself a light meal because I'm too nervous to eat a lot. By the time I'm finished, I see that it's 10:40 so I get dressed in my outfit then slip my gun and the picture of Milani into two different pockets.
Just as I'm about to get into my car, I get a phone call from the same number that's been blackmailing me and that same deep voice from earlier speaks back to me.
"Head to the junkyard on Lakeview street and there's a car waiting for you. It'll be the only car that looks worth driving. Drive it to Fade, do the job, then go back and get your car. I've gotten rid of the bouncers already so don't worry about running into them." The voice says then hangs up.
Getting into my car, I crank up and drive to the junkyard in complete silence. As soon as I pull up and spot the car, I open the door and look around for the keys; finding them in the glove compartment box. Using them to crank the car, I drive straight to Fade and park the car then check the time. It's 11:25. Taking a deep breath, I pull the ski mask over my head, take my gun off safety, and cock it then step out of the car; walking into the club. Sure enough, there's no bouncers there to keep me from going on.
Carefully looking around the dim lit club, I finally find the girl wearing the purple masquerade mask then walk over to her; getting her attention.
"What the fuck!!?" She yells when she sees my gun.
"I'm sorry." I say before shooting her in both knees, watching her fall to the ground in pain.
Tears run down her face as she shrieks loudly, trying her best to scoot away from me; her knees not allowing her to move. I kneel down next to her and the terror in her eyes breaks my heart, but I do as I'm told and look into her eyes; removing my mask. Once I'm sure that she sees me, I put the mask back on and run through the crowd of people who're running around in fear. I breathe heavily as I jump into the car and take it back to the junkyard; swapping it out with my own car.
While I'm driving back to my house, my phone rings and I answer it.
"Task 1 complete. Stay tuned for Task 2." The voice tells me before hanging up the phone.
I try to pick up my bottle of water from my cup holder, but my shaky hands betray me as I drop it all over my clothes. Deciding that I can't stop driving, I keep going and ignore my wet clothing until I make it home and clean myself up.
I pace the floor in my living room, taking a glance at the liquor each time I pass by it. I finally let myself give in and grab a bottle of vodka, letting the strong liquor touch my tongue. I missed the burning sensation of drinking. As my mind keeps reverting back to the fear in the woman's eyes, I keep turning the bottle up until it's gone.
Slowly stumbling over to the couch, I stretch out and rest my body with a new bottle of vodka in one hand and my phone in the other. I yawn loudly as I feel the liquor starting to take effect and just as I'm about to close my eyes, my phone starts ringing.
"Wassup popssss?? How you doing mannn!? You doing good!?! I'm doing GREATTTTT!!" I slur then laugh at how drunk I am.
"Drummer, what the fuck is going on!?! Are you drunk!?!"
"I'm good pops, drunk are you? It's lateee! Why you calling me!?"
My pops sighs loudly, irritated with me messing up my words. I expect him to hang up, but instead he yells into the phone; hurting my ear.
"Dallas!! Get yourself together NOW!!! I need a ride."
"Fuck, I'll be there soon."
I force myself to get up from the couch and stumble over to the sink, splashing cold ass water on my face then stuff a slice of bread into my mouth to help me sober up. Grabbing my keys and phone, I go out to my car and blink multiple times.
"You got this! You can do this." I tell myself as I'm cranking up the car. The engine roaring softly.
The drive to my dad's house takes me longer than usual because I was trying my best not to end up in a ditch. By the time I get to his house, I'm almost sober enough to think straight.
"I thought you stopped drinking boy."
"I slipped up. Don't start fucking lecturing me."
"Drummer, you know I can still whoop yo ass right? Don't let this wheelchair fool you, lil nigga. You better watch yo mouth."
Ignoring him, I continue driving until we reach the hospital then follow him inside. After he goes off on all the nurses, they finally decide to let us go into Hazel's room, but as soon as we take the elevator up there her mama stops us.
"Deandre, I know I told you Hazel was sick, but I lied. I just didn't want you to worry. She was shot twice at work. We'll give you two some time with her. She just woke up."
The worry is present on my dad's face when he hears those words, but I don't care much about it. People get shot everyday in Chicago. That's why you gotta stay out the way. He nods his head and I open the door for him to roll in. Once I step in behind him and lock eyes with Hazel, the fear in her eyes lets me know exactly what happened. She was the girl I shot at the club.
Her eyes grow wide and her machines start to beep rapidly as she starts seizing. To make sure I'm not tripping, I look down at her knees and see that both legs are bandaged up. While my dad calls out for help, I run out of the room then get on the elevator and make my way out of the front doors.
Running back to my car, I hop in and speed back to my house; not knowing what else to do. I just hope Hazel doesn't tell my dad what happened because he'll never forgive me. As much as I talk about hating her, he'll probably think I did it on purpose.
Picking up my bottle of vodka once again, I take a few sips and pull the vibrating phone out of my pocket; hoping it's not another task from my blackmailer. The message I see before me is even worse.