I stared at the ceiling. It was covered with those plastic stars, which shined in the darkness. I remember when I got them I tried to glue them in the form of a constellation, but I just made a mess.
I laughed, hitting myself on the forehead. God, how stupid I was.
Dream catcher on the right, the fluffy feathers covered in dust and cobweb. They were supposed to catch bad dreams. A lie and a waste of money.
Forgotten dreams. Wasted wishes. That's what I saw in the desert of my room.
Send a wish upon a star. Send a hope upon a wave. For all the souls you failed to save.
Do you remember the days you couldn't wait to get out of the bed? When reality was sweeter then dreams? Yeah, I do to. Now it's just a distant memory. How pathetic, I can only be happy in memories. But I'm so sad when I think of all the happy moments that will never happen again. I think that Portuguese have a word for it – saudade. It means; to be sad while remembering something happy. It's such a pretty word. Nowadays I need to find a reason to get up. I need to convince myself to stand tall, to pretend for one more day.
Oh, to be a blind passenger on the train of Life.
Suddenly something buzzed in my pocket. Damn it, I hate when this thing startles me!
MrAnnoyingJerk: Got a mission for you. Be at the Youth center at 12:00am. Don't be late!
A mission? What am I, freaking Tom Cruise? Arrogant jerk. But I wanted to know his name…I tried Facebook – nowhere to be found, asked Mimi – he didn't tell her the name, asked around – nobody knew him. It was like he didn't exist. It's like he was a ghost. What if he was a ghost? What if a ghost saved me from the river? Oh my god, what if he didn't, what if I just imagined that and I'm dead?!
Okay, calm down, that's ridiculous.
I really need to get out of the house. And now I had a reason to get out of the bed. So what am I waiting for?
* * *
At 11:57am I found myself standing in front of the Youth center door. I've been picking my brain the entire morning, trying to figure out the mission. Hm, the Youth center you say… Maybe he wants to challenge me to a game of ping-pong. Or air hockey. Or snooker. Or-
»Mrs. Suicide.« A velvet-like voice said. I quickly turned around to yell at him about that stupid nickname, but instead I was left speechless.
The guy standing in front of me was…hot. Very hot. Like Jared Leto hot. He even had similar eyes as him, those stunning Egyptian-blue eyes. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie, a few completely raven black locks of hair were escaping his hood and were mischievously kissing his tanned cheeks. The sunburn on his face was already changing colors from burning red to delicious tanned bronze. What a contrast between his dark hair and bright eyes. A person with a weak heart could die from this sight.
»What?« He asked, raising one of his dark eyebrows. What naughty things I could do to you boy…What?! Shut up inner voice!
I closed my mouth which were hanging open. Idiot. »Don't call me-«
»Mrs.Suicide?«
I could swear I felt my left eye twitching in anger. »Yeah, that.« I growled.
»I guess I'm a bit rude.« He scoffed, carelessly.
A bit?
»I'll just call you…grumpy face.« He grinned at his dumb joke.
»No.« I crossed my arms. I was giving him the most killer look I could possibly produce.
»Then what nickname do you want?« He looked at me with those bluest of the bluest eyes, innocently putting his hands in his pockets.
»How about you call me by my name – Haven?« I insisted. The nerve on that boy!
»Oh c'mmon, life without nicknames, is that a life at all?« He started opening the door of the Youth center. What the hell was he talking about? Of course life without nicknames was a lif- Okay. He's officially crazy. Crazy person. »You know, you give a person a nickname, depending on his characteristic. Let's see.« He stopped and stared at me.
This was awkward. I didn't like people staring at me. Or examining me. Or touching me. You know people who hate dentists? Well, I even hate hairdressers. His eyes were staring at every inch of my body. When his eyes stopped on my breasts he lifted both of his eyebrows and smirked. Seariously?
»Okay. Long, dark-brown hair. Brown eyes. Full red lips. Skin pale as milk. I'll call you Snowhite.« He grinned, content with himself. My eyes are green-brown, my lips are red because of the lipstick and really – the best metaphor for pale skin he could think of was, milk?
»Hm, let's see. Perverted eyes. Arrogant hair. Annoying suntan and mouth that produce the world's stupidest sentences.«
Two could play at this game, bitch!
»My, my…what should I call you? I know, how about the Annoying orange?« I returned that big grin right in his face.
He looked at me, his eyes widening. »Sure, Snowhite.«
What?! How could he possibly be happy with that nickname? I am going to strangle that arrogance out of him!
I was just about to wrap my hands around his neck, when he opened the door of the Youth center. The room was filled with little kids. Some were running around, some were playing…Great. We were the only people in the room over the age of ten.
»Put this on.« He offered me a small piece of paper, something scribbled on it. It said:
Youth center Ambassador: Snowhite
»What? Have you dragged me here to do your job?« I was really pissed. I am not working instead of him!
»No. I dragged you here to help me do my job.« He pinned a piece of paper to his dark blue hoodie. I checked for the name.
Youth center Ambassador: Mr. X
Ah, so he didn't like my nickname – Annoying orange!
If there's something I can't stand, it's the kids. The crying, the yelling, the drooling, the puking, the spiting…Ew. »I'm not good with kids.« I said in annoyed tone.
»Well,« He shrugged »there's other jobs you can do around here.«
»Like what?« Why was I still here? I could just walk out that door and be gone forever. I don't need to know his name. Damn it, I have nothing better to do!
»You could be our Mrs. Dumbo.« A huge grin danced on his face.
Mrs. Dumbo…Hm… »And if I do this, you'll tell me your name?« I narrowed my eyes at him.
»Of course.« He smiled »There's the changing room,« He pointed towards some door »you go change into the costume, and I'll make sure everything is ready.«
»What costume?«
»You'll see.« He waved at me, while walking away.
I stepped into the room and on the wall was hanging a huge elephant costume. Oh god, please no. On the front of the costume it said: Mrs. Dumbo. It had paint all over it, all the colors of the rainbow. I really don't know what possessed me to put on that fat elephant costume. And the head, oh the head! It smelled horrible! Like stale popcorn and pee.
I noticed a paper sheet on the table. What's this?
Saturday Youth Center's Program: Free day for sick children.
Activities: Painting
Air hockey
Ping-pong…
That's today. I peeped outside. How did I not notice this before? Some children were in wheelchairs, some were wearing scarfs on their heads…The nurses sitting in the corner. How did I not see this? That guys was…actually…Well, he was a good person. Better then me.
I sighed and stepped out of the room. The kids suddenly started screaming and clapping with their hands. Their high-pitched voices almost popped my eardrums. He was standing in front of this huge, white canvas, laughing and clapping with his hands like the kids. Okay, I admit that was kinda cute.
He made a gesture, telling me to join him. I stumbled over to him, in that huge, smelly elephant suit. »Kids, let me introduce to you – our newest ambassador, Snowhite!« He yelled, like he'd be announcing a famous rock band. The kids screamed even louder, and the elephant head didn't help at all! It was really stuffy and hot inside, but not soundproof. »You know what to do!« He yelled and moved away from me.
»What-« I asked, confused.
»Just stand there.« He winked at me. What?
Soon I realised that – You know what to do – sentence wasn't meant for me. It was meant for the kids. They each got a water balloon from a bucket, they'd been passing around. What the hell? Suddenly they yelled like Indians or Tarzans, and jumped towards me, starting to throw water balloons at me! And they weren't even filled with water! They were filled with freaking paint!
I screamed and rolled on the ground, the paint that bursted from the balloons was splashing through the eye-holes, right in my face. »You!« I half yelled, half growled at the guy laughing his ass off, while watching me. I stood up, trying to get to him, to strangle him – naturally, but I tripped over the huge elephant's trunk, and fell flat on my face. Oh great, the humiliation never ends.
I felt somebody lifting me up, helping me to get up on my feet. It was him. »You!« I screamed at him, trying to perform my murderess intent, but I couldn't wrap my hands around his neck, because they were…elephant paws. Damn this suit! »Are you insane?!« I was still yelling at him.
»Hey,« He laughed, dodging my elephant-paw hits »at least I told you to wear the suit.«
I was so mad at him! But then I saw the smiles on those little faces, their laughs echoing like fallen stars…I just couldn't be mad at sick kids.
I sighed and chuckled.
»You can take it off now.« He was still laughing.
»Oh, really?!« I yelled while laughing and smacked him on the face with my elephant trunk.
I changed back into normal clothes and wiped the paint of my face. Sadly there was some left in my hair.
I saw him talking to one of the kids. It was a small girl with a pink scarf on her head. »So what do you want to do today, Annie?«
»Climb that.« She pointed towards the huge climbing wall with her little finger.
He sadly smiled. »You know I can't let you do that.« He softly creased her hand.
She pouched her face and crossed her arms in disagreement. She turned her big, bright eyes upon me. »Then I want her to do it.« She pointed towards me.
He looked at me with anticipation in his gorgeous pools of blue. Crap. Now what? I'm terrified of heights.
I bit my lip and picked my brain for a reasonable solution. »I'll do it.«
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