𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵
We spent a couple of hours gathering firewood — and this time, I actually did gather firewood; we actually needed it this time, after all.
Watching Theo's back muscles contracting through his t-shirt as he carried the bulk of the wood back to Coloma, I silently wished that something good would happen between us tonight. There was a strong part of me that needed us to make things right, even if things didn't progress to how we used to be in Lake Oldoy.
"You good?" Theo checked, startling me out of my thoughts.
Catching up with him, I nodded. "Yeah."
His eyes flicked up and down my body — I'd gotten too warm in my hoodie, so I was wearing a tight vest and a pair of soft cotton shorts — both items of clothing that were stuck to my body in the warm June late afternoon. And damn; only he could make a mere look so physical, like he was already seeing me without my clothes, lying under his body...
Aware of how Theo's t-shirt was also clinging to his skin, I swallowed. Nothing was even happening between us, but the way he looked at me so physically had heated my core up considerably.
It was the first time in a while that I'd been fully alone with Theo, with none of the pack around for what had to be miles.
"I know it was, like, half a year ago..." Theo began randomly asking. "How was your Christmas?"
Bemused, I frowned. "What makes you ask?"
"I just realised I never did." He lifted his shoulders in his signature shrug. "So, how was it?"
"Well..." I shifted uncomfortably with the few branches I was carrying. "Uncle Rob tried out a range of tactics whilst I was on Svalbard with him, and at Christmas, the tactic was getting me to camp out in the cold, with nothing but semi-warm and a crude snow shelter."
"Oh my God."
Nodding, I continued, "So, I spent my Christmas alone and trying to summon my fire. How was yours?"
"I was freezing in a homeless shelter in Iowa, and it was raining." He threw a grimacing look at me. "So I guess we were both cold and alone."
"Despite my fire partially returning to me," I admitted, wondering where the hell all this honesty was coming from, "There are still times when I feel cold... and alone." My voice dropped to a whisper, "And I don't know how to stop feeling alone."
"I was alone in Lake Oldoy, before I found you, Ember," Theo told me, "And then, with you, I was no longer alone, and I'd found a way to solve my problems one step at a time."
Can we do the same now? I wordlessly questioned, not having the courage to say the words aloud.
And so, once again, we fell into silence.
The sun was sinking pretty quickly by the time we arrived back at Coloma. I could see why the pack loved this abandoned mining town so much; it was, or at least it used to be, perfect for them. There was a certain indescribable quality to the place — it was mysterious, and yet totally comfortable at the same time.
Maybe it was just being with Theo that made me comfortable, and I was treasuring how easy being with him was once again.
Okay, so Storm betrayed the pack, the threat of the hunters seemed even closer, and we were staying the night in Coloma — life wasn't exactly perfect, but, weirdly, it felt like things were falling into place.
"Are you alright?" Theo asked me.
"Theo." I looked over at him; I was attempting to build a fire, and he was trying to sort the beds out — yes, we're inverting gender stereotypes and failing miserably, but we're still trying. "It's been about five minutes since you asked me if I was okay. I'm fine."
"Screw this." He chucked the sleeping bags down and strode over to me.
Expectantly, I stood, brushing dirt off my knees.
"I read a book recently," he told me bluntly, "Well, I've been reading a lot of books recently. But there was one that stood out particularly."
I raised an eyebrow. "And?"
He folded his arms, then unfolded them, then frowned at something in the distance.
"Theo, why are you acting so strange?" I took a step closer to him, raising my hand and placing it lightly against the side of his face.
"'I cannot let you let you burn me up, nor can I resist you.'" He pressed his forehead against mine, pushing closer to me and tearing down the walls that both of us had been building. "'No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.'"
Hardly daring to speak loudly and threaten dismantling whatever was building between us, I whispered, "What are you trying to tell me?"
"That's a quote, from A. S. Byatt's novel Possession," he muttered back, his fingers ghosting across my lips. "And it's how I feel about you."
All at once, my heart stopped beating, but it also started beating again — blood pounded around my body, and all my senses were set on edge.
"Well, then." A faint smirk reached my lips. "It's a good thing you're no mere human."
Theo frowned, a smirk pulling at his lips as well. "I thought only I was allowed to speak in riddles."
"I mean, it's a good thing you're no mere human, so you can be consumed by my fire." I bit my lip and whispered in my ear, "My fire of passion can consume both of us... And so we don't have to resist it anymore."
Theo's hands found my waist, and he looked into my eyes. "Things have just been so complicated recently."
"Then let's uncomplicate things." I linked his hand with mine and pulled him to lean against the hut's exterior wall beside me. "Do you want me?"
"I want you, more than you could know." Shuffling closer, he admitted, "And I know you want me too."
"How?" I frowned at him.
"I want you, Ember..." His eyes swept over my body. "And by the clenching of your thighs, the darkening of your eyes and the racing of your heart... You want me as much as I want you."
Mouth dry, I swallowed; it was true, all of it. Suddenly hyperaware of the heat between my legs, I crossed my left leg over my right, thighs clenching together tightly.
"Ember..." Theo breathed. "I just want things to be simple between us again."
"Me too." My words came out hushed.
"Why did you shut me out when you came here?" He asked, eyes searching everything about me, my own eyes, my face, my body, his fingers inches away from doing the exact same... "Apart from the whole airport thing, of course."
"People can't let you down if you don't let them in," I admitted.
"Did I let you down?" A crease formed in between his eyebrows.
"No, not at all." I sighed, worried that we were building up those walls again, "I just... I didn't want to get hurt again.
"Did I hurt you?" He rushed and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"No." I took his hand in mine, linking our fingers together and squeezing his hand. "I hurt myself."
"I thought we were supposed to be uncomplicating things here?" He laughed lightly and shook his head.
Pressing my lips firmly together, I ran my hand down the side of his face, "Well there's only one way to fully uncomplicate things, isn't there?"
"Is there, now?" He raised an eyebrow, a sideways smile found his lips, one that I kept seeing on his dad's face.
In response, I did what I'd been wanting to do ever since I arrived in Montana two and a half months ago.
I kissed him.
I pressed my lips hard against his and I kissed him.
He moaned against my lips as my tongue swept into his mouth, and I'd forgotten just how good kissing Theo was.
Reaching behind my head, his fingers pulled my hair out of its scrunchie, letting soft waves fall against my shoulders. His lips left my mouth and planted short, sweet kisses along my jawline and down my neck, and my hands ran through his hair, pulling his body ever closer to mine.
He pressed my body against the side of the hut, and almost instinctively, my fingers began fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, before pulling it over his head.
An involuntary gasp escaped my mouth at the sight of his strong chest.
"You alright?" Theo looked bemused at my unbidden reaction.
"It's just been a while since I've been able to appreciate how beautiful you are." I shrugged, tracing my fingertips over his skin.
"That's funny." He smirked. "I was just about to say the same thing."
Then he pulled my vest over my head, leaving me in my sports bra. It wasn't the same one as Theo caught me in the other day after my run, but his jaw dropped just the same.
"Only you, Ember Milburn..." Surveying my body, he muttered, "Only you could make a sports bra look so goddamn sexy."
Flipping my loose hair around, I shrugged a shoulder. "I make anything I wear look sexy."
"You do..." His words trailed off as his hands slid up my sides to cup my breasts, "You also look sexy when you're not wearing anything..."
I bit my bottom lip. For a second, I was frozen, unsure of what to do next; then I realised that I didn't have to think about it.
Leaning in closer to him, I connected our lips once again, letting my thoughts slip away, and getting lost in the pure heaven that is being with Theo Aquila-Oakenbank. His hands were feeling my breasts and my fingernails were dragging down his back out of pure pleasure. Our tongues were dancing around each other's mouths, our bodies were hot, and our skin was sticking to one another.
My fire was beginning to build just as rapidly as the passion between the two of us.
I broke off our kiss and stepped a little away from Theo as I stared at my hands.
"Are you okay?" His eyebrows knitted together in worry.
For a nanosecond, I saw — or I thought I saw — a single flame dance across one of my palms.
"Ember..." His voice began with a warning tone, and I was worried he was going to ask us to stop.
"Theo, I've been waiting for this for too long to let it go because I have control issues," I told him bluntly, pulling his lips back to mine.
Breaking the kiss off again, Theo spoke, "I was gonna tell you that if you burn me, I don't care; I want us to burn together..." His voice dropped to a murmur as his fingers grazed across my face. "All I've really wanted to do is to burn with you; I'd rather die a fiery death by your side than a lonely, watery death."
"Then let's burn, baby." I kissed him harder, faster, stronger.
My hands were sliding everywhere they could on his body, and his hands were doing the same. At some point, I thought I'd burnt his skin slightly, but he said nothing and we continued making out like there was no tomorrow.
Which, in reality, there could've been — what with Storm's betrayal and the imminent arrival of the hunters, not to mention the fact that Theo and I were staying somewhere that the hunters knew about...
Shut up, brain, I thought angrily.
"Ember." Theo breathed in my mouth, sending sensual shivers racing throughout my body.
"Yes?" I didn't stop kissing him, only spoke the word against his mouth.
"You — me — hut — now." The words escaped his mouth in between our short, sweet kisses.
I kissed him once more, before taking his hand and leading him into the hut.
Shaking his head, he muttered, "I couldn't make the beds."
"Well," I sighed, "I couldn't make a fire either... How about I make the bed, and you make a fire?"
I started on the bed straight away; pulling the sleeping bags out of their bags and laying them over the pile of ferns that Theo had messily constructed and I couldn't be bothered fixing.
"On second thoughts, do we really need a fire?" He came and stood behind me, hands grasping my waist.
Standing up straight, I leant back against his strong body, "Probably not..."
"And do we really need the bed to be perfect?" He muttered against the crook of my neck, before planting a kiss there.
"No..." I breathed out a raggedy breath — my insatiable lust was just building and building...
"What do you want, Ember?" Theo whispered in my ear, sucking lightly on my earlobe.
Rapidly turning to face him, I kissed him passionately, yet slowly — our tongues pushing against one another's mouths, hands ghosting across each other's bodies.
"I want this," I whispered into his mouth.
Before I knew what was happening, we were lying on the makeshift bed, Theo's weight on top of me. I arched my back up allowing him to undo my sports bra, and then he literally threw it across the hut.
Well, I'm gonna have fun putting that back on tomorrow, I thought with a grimace, it's gonna be covered in pine needles and God knows what else...
But then Theo's lips were trailing down my jaw and throat and reaching my cleavage. My heart rate rose and I let out a gasp as one of his hands started massaging one of my boobs.
"Is this okay?" Theo checked, his mouth lowering to my other boob.
"More than okay..." I gasped as he started giving me the attention that I'd been missing from him.
His teeth lightly grazed across my skin, and I couldn't help but moan as his touch got stronger and more passionate. By the time he glanced up at me, both my nipples were hard and my chest was rising and falling rapidly as I struggled to catch my breath.
I bit my lip as Theo's lips moved back down to my body, and kissed up my cleavage and throat back to my lips, his hands finding the hem of my shorts and gently sliding them down.
"You're crazy, Theo Oakenbank-Aquila," I muttered to him, as he kissed the side of my neck. "You know that, right?"
"I know I'm crazy about you," he growled against my skin.
Moving against his body, I grabbed onto his arm as I felt his excitement pressing through my underwear. I don't know when, but he'd taken off his own shorts as well.
"I'm mad about you, Em." He sucked on my earlobe, hips rocking against mine as I tried to calm the flames of desire that were burning bright inside of me, deep in my core.
Shutting my eyes tight, I swallowed as I rushed out all in one breath, "Theo-I'm-sorry-I-don't-want-to-go-all-the-way."
"We can stop completely if you want." He told me, nuzzling against my neck.
"I don't want to stop." I shook my head, and took his hand in mine, trailing it down my body and into my damp underwear. "There's no way I wanna stop." Our eyes locked onto each other, as his fingers slid against my wet heat and I felt his length through his underwear. "And you don't wanna stop either."
He groaned, "Shit, Ember."
"You can call me Em." I nodded, taking his face in my hands and kissing his lips slowly, but passionately.
Then he pulled the sleeping bag over us, before slipping off my remaining underwear — I was now fully naked under Theo. And I could tell by the look on his face that he was enjoying it just as much as I was.
As our tongues danced together in another kiss, his fingers pressed and pulsed against my heat — and it was getting to the point where I was too out of control to kiss him properly. Instead, I was moaning his name against his lips, heat rushing through my entire body, our breath hot on each other.
His fingers left my head and his lips nuzzled against my neck as he groaned out my name.
"Theo..." I breathed. "Are you losing control?"
Theo looked up at me, revealing the fact his eyes were tinged yellow. "Kinda."
"That's okay." I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. "So am I."
The burning sensation I felt in my heart told me that my eyes were burning with fire — the flames dancing around my blue eyes the way they had done a couple of times before in Lake Oldoy.
"Em... We can stop." He looked into my eyes and pressed our foreheads together.
"Theo... I never want to stop with you," I told him sincerely, "We messed up at the airport, I know that now. We should've talked more the night before we left... But we were kinda busy almost having sex."
"True." Theo chuckled lightly, brushing some wisps of hair off my face.
"Can we try and make things work between us again?" I asked, voice quiet — afraid to shatter whatever level of trust was building between us.
Searching my face, he checked, "Are you sure you want to?"
"When you were with Jade..." I admitted, shifting a little under his intense gaze, "It was tearing me apart, and I understood how you felt about me and Ryder being together... And I never want to be that distant from you ever again."
"You know, if you did want to go all the way," Theo began, "I'd make it so good for you..."
I sucked in a shaky breath his words, but I had to admit the truth to him, "I'm not ready yet."
"I know." He nodded kindly. "But when you are, I'll be waiting."
"Thank you." I gently pressed my lips against his.
Our gentle kiss quickly escalated to a more passionate one. Theo rolled us over so that I was on top, his firm length growing against my naked body.
With it almost being the height of summer in Montana, as well as the fact we were under a sleeping bag, both of our skin was sheened in a light sweat.
My hands slid easily over Theo's abs and strong chest as I began moving my hips against his crotch, our bodies gliding together seamlessly — as if we were made for each other, and meant to be together.
"Em..." After laying with his head back and his eyes shut, Theo looked up at me. "If you still don't wanna go all the way, you're gonna have to stop doing that."
"Oh." Disappointment flooded me; I haven't been like this with Theo for a long while, and I'm loving it.
Theo quickly rolled us over, showering my body in quick kisses, his teeth occasionally grazing my skin. Then his kisses slowed down and became more drawn-out, and it felt like he was worshipping my body.
"I love your body," he muttered against my ribs, nose skimming the underneath of my boob.
"I love you loving it," I muttered back, almost nonsensically.
"Are you sure you don't wanna cross this line?" His fingers traced circles on my lower abdomen, drawing nearer and nearer to my heat.
I nodded. "But I don't wanna stop."
A single gunshot ricocheted through the valley, causing a flock of birds to lift from their perches in nearby trees and swoop away — as well as causing me and Theo to jump out of our skins.
Within an instant, Theo was up, pulling on his shorts and running outside.
"Idiot," I muttered to myself, pulling my underwear and his t-shirt on. "Surely that's the worst thing to do?" Then I followed him outside, hissing at him, "What the hell are you doing?"
He grabbed hold of my arm. "Why did you follow me?"
"Because if you die, then I might as well join you," I told him, rolling my eyes and shrugging him off.
He shook his head at me and continued staring into the darkness of the night. Closing his eyes and then reopening them, his other eyes showed — glowing bright yellow in the darkness.
Clasping his hand in mine, I also scanned the mountains for anything out of place; though I doubted the hunters would be that dumb.
There was nothing out there apart from animals.
"It... It could've been just normal hunters. In — in another valley," I said falteringly to Theo.
Jaw clenched, he replied bluntly, "We should get some sleep."
And so, we curled back up in bed, covers flung over us.
I lay in silence for a few minutes, trying to relax my body into the thoughtless state of sleep. But it wasn't happening.
I rolled over to face Theo, whose eyes were also wide open.
"I can't sleep," I admitted, studying his face in the moonlight that was spilling through the cracks in the hut's walls.
"Me neither." He pressed his forehead against mine, and I shifted around so that our bodies were closer.
"Why's the moon so big and bright?" I questioned, glancing over my shoulder at the almost full moon. "I mean, it was a full moon last night."
"It was; the next phase after a full moon is a waning gibbous, as the light continually decreases after the maximum illumination — the full moon," Theo explained, "Basically, after the full moon, the sunlit fraction of the moon begins to decrease, even though it still takes up more than half the face of the moon, to make a waning gibbous and then a third-quarter moon. The slice of sunlight continues to decrease until the moon is a waning crescent and then a new moon. The whole cycle — from new moon to new moon — takes about 29.5 days."
"That's..." A yawn escaped my mouth before I could stop it. "Really interesting. Sorry."
"It's fine." A half-smile turned up his mouth. "We should try and get some sleep."
"Mhm," I hummed, now too tired to speak as fatigue began to engulf me.
Rolling over, I felt Theo's body curl against mine.
"Is this okay?" He asked, whispering warmly into my ear — the skin on the back of my neck tingling from his breath.
"More than okay," I replied, looping his arms around my waist, as he nestled closer to my body.
"I've missed being like this with you," he admitted.
Sleepily, I nodded. "Me too."
"Goodnight, Em." He breathed.
"Night, Theo." I relaxed into his arms, and into the bed — sleep finding me quickly.