'I should call someone' I instantly think. I scramble to look down at my gps location and discover I am way off the grid. There aren't any highways or anything within walking distance. I want to roll my eyes at the irony. Normally this would be a situation I would call Bash for, but I am having second thoughts from after tonight. I tried not to take Serena's little rampage to heart, but her nagging voice is replaying about me 'breaking him up with all his girlfriends'. I don't think I have ever intentionally done anything but I think about his relationship with Britt. Sebastien and I have always been around each other, probably more so than him and his girlfriends. Could I possibly be getting in the way of his relationships?
He is most likely with Serena right now and if I call for help I could be proving her right. Ugh, I hate that she is making me overthink more than I already do. I swipe out of his name and continue to contemplate. I cannot imagine calling my parents, they most likely are working. Everyone else I would call is still at the tree... Oh, screw this. I am a fully capable woman I'll fix this damn tire myself.
I crouch back down to stare at the sad-looking tire. It is beyond deflated, I'll definitely have to switch out the spare for this one. I groan out loud. I guess google will be my new best friend tonight. I type in how to how to fix a flat tire and go to my car trunk and scrummage through all my junk in there. I know whenever Sebastien did work on my car he would tell me he left backup tools in here for emergencies.
I find the pieces that the website says I will need and go back to the front-end of my Cadillac. It doesn't look totally impossible. I start to unscrew the bolt-looking thing that it shows on the video and go step-by-step. I place a jack underneath making sure I align it exactly as pictured and crank it up. I really hope that I am not messing up my car any worse than it is. I go back to my trunk and awkwardly roll the donut tire down. I repeat the steps to reinstall it and by then I am completely shivering. Not a single car has even passed since I started, just showing how completely alone I am. Tilting my head, I examine my work and realize I somehow did it. I stare in amazement at the simple accomplishment I achieved.
I quickly snap a picture of it and hastily go back inside to blast the heat. Even though I am a little dirty from crouching on the ground and using tools, it feels pretty damn good to prove to myself I can do things on my own. I put my gear back in drive and carefully drive back way below the speed limit. Thirty minutes later, I finally pull in with relief. As I park, my mom's Maserati happens to pull up right beside mine. I almost don't recognize it, because I rarely see her car around. Surprised, I exit out next to her.
"Hi mom," I blurt. She spins on her heels glancing at me with a stunned expression. She is in one of her many blazers and her perfectly prim caramel hair looks a little longer.
"Oh hello, Emma. What are you doing here?" She says and then proceeds to grab her briefcase.
"I um, do come home most weekends," I mutter sullenly.
"Of course, right." She shakes her head. "I almost forgot."
I blink. She probably almost forgot she had a daughter it seems. We walk up together in silence. After tonight, it would be nice to talk to someone, even though it feels slightly unnatural to attempt it with my mom. Maybe I can start by telling her about the flat incident, that seems like a normal conversation for a mother and daughter.
"Your father told me about how he got you that meeting at Washington hospital," she says interrupting my train of thoughts.
"He did?" I say bewildered, following behind her.
"Yeah, he said he forwarded over some of your previous work and acknowledgments over afterward as well. Just in case it didn't go well," she adds casually as she unwinds her scarf off her neck.
"Wait, what? Why would he do that?" I shout appalled.
She swivels to look at me.
"Emma, quiet down. Why do you sound angry? He went out of his way to further along the application process, I am the one that suggested it," she scolds me. "This is what you need to get into medical school. You cannot take any chances."
I want to scream in frustration at their total lack of confidence in me, but I reel it back. "Does he not believe I can get it on my own?" I grind out.
"Don't say that. Everyone can use any bit of help they can get. You should be happy for his involvement." She crosses her arms now agitated as well.
"Yeah maybe I should, but it would feel nice if you guys for once believed in me," I say running a hand down my face, just completely done. "I am tired. I am going to bed. I'll see you maybe next month or something," I grumble out. I turn to go up the stairs, but not before catching her expression. Her lips are in a straight line, but I swiftly leave, not giving her another opportunity to reprimand me.
I stomp towards my room slamming the door, even though my parent's room downstairs couldn't hear me no matter how hard I forced it. I whip off my boots and throw my hair up in a ponytail huffing out loud. The guilt starts to creep in from the snide comment I made at my mom, but I mostly still feel angry. It is hard enough trying to navigate through this half-point age of being an adult, but not truly feeling like one. I don't need them taking away any more of the freedoms and opinions I have.
The thought makes me wonder what would happen if I didn't become a doctor. I have been groomed into the idea for as long as I have known, but I don't know if I have ever said it was something I wanted. I walk past by mirror going for my bed and then pause from my reflection out of the corner of my eye. Turning back, I take in my face that is still flushed from the cold. My hazel eyes are puffy and bloodshot and my under eyes are dark and dull. Wow, I look exactly how I feel...a complete wreck. I take a makeup wipe and scrub my face fiercely before falling into my bed. I close my eyes tossing and turning until I eventually fall asleep.
***
*author's note*
Thank you so much for continuing to read with me ❤️ Stay safe and happy reading!!