Sexual Content Warning
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Happy new year everyone!
Hope you're all doing well.
Chapter 20: Unravelling
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My wolf lavished under Ebbe's attention, unaware of the time passing as he groomed me. Eyes fluttering shut in contentment, I nearly purred as he moved to clean my chest, my legs, paws, anywhere he could reach, until my fur was saturated in his scent. It had been too long since anyone had done this for me, and it was an important part of forming strong bonds between pack members. If I wasn't so lost in the sensation, I might have found it odd Ebbe wanted to do this at all.
I was aware the very second he pulled away. My eyes flew open to watch him flop next to me, belly exposed, tongue lolling out, and gaze expectant. I rolled my eyes at his silent demand. Even in fur, he got under my skin.
I wasn't ready to move but the way of the wolf dictated for me to return the favour, and the gods knew Ebbe had earned it.
Could wolves smirk? I swore he did as I rolled to my paws to groom him in return. A gentle nip to his ear reminded him I didn't have to do this, so to stop being an ass.
I started at his muzzle as he had mine, licking away the blood and gore that clung to his fur, moving lower until my scent covered him as his did mine. A few times I found myself nuzzling into him and had to quickly move on before he could notice. It secretly delighted me to be doing this for him, and hearing the rumble of his appreciation only spurred me on.
Once I was finished, Ebbe lifted up slightly to rub his cheek to mine in thanks. Gratefully, I flopped back beside him, still feeling too full to move much. After we both dozed off for a while, I shifted back to skin, sighing as I stretched my arms above my head.
"Even though we pulled it off, going after that bull was dangerous, Ebbe. You must be mad."
A soft chuckle told me he had shifted too and I dared to look over at him. Golden skin glowed under the light of a setting sun that caught tones of gold and dark brown in his hair. He shrugged easily, a lazy smile curling his lips.
"I knew we'd manage."
"But I didn't. And you know why." Rolling onto my side, I propped my head on my hand to look at him properly. Back was that frown that creased his brow and darkened blue eyes.
"Why do you pretend to be an omega?" I asked quietly, as if speaking softly would stop a bad reaction. Of course it didn't work.
Ebbe grunted and moved onto his back so I could only see half his face.
"I don't pretend," he argued.
"Yes, you do. Anyone that took the time to actually watch you would be able to see that. You're just too good at hiding yourself."
He glared, giving me another flash of the power he had and I quickly went about trying to avert another fight between us. I didn't want to keep falling out with him anymore, not when it wasn't fooling anyone. I wasn't even fooling myself anymore.
Besides, I truly did want to dig into just what made Ebbe tick.
"Not a liar then," I amended, unable to help but add with a smirk, "Just a pretender."
Blue eyes narrowed on me. "Not every wolf longs to be top of the pack, you know. For most of my life I had to fight for myself, for Gisli, so we could eat scraps that barely filled us, so males wouldn't think to touch my sister. Or me."
I stilled at that, the smirk falling from my lips. There was nothing to tease there, and the harsh truth of the way Ebbe had grown up was difficult to hear, even if he didn't go into grest detail. Tilting my head to show I was listening, he finally admitted what I wanted to know.
"I'm with the pack now, a family that look out for their own. My sister is safe; we're both fed, sheltered and cared for. I don't like to fight, as much as a shock that may be to you, and now I have no need to, so I don't."
He held my gaze with such determination that I found myself simply nodding. Perhaps if I'd have to fight for my life every day, I'd take now joy in the act, even in play.
"Okay. I understand."
"I don't think you do. But that's okay, how could you?" Full lips twitched and suddenly he was creeping back into my space. I watched him carefully, trying to keep my breathing soft and even when my heart was beating a mile a minute with every inch he gained. His nose brushed along my jaw and he inhaled deeply. Goosebumps rose across my skin, reacting to his proximity.
A gentle nudge of his fingers against my hip encouraged me to roll onto my back. I did so slowly, peering up at him curiously as he took in my scent again, a deep inhale of breath. Feather brushes of his skin against mine and my body shifted, then froze when I realised I was trying to get closer to him.
It didn't feel wrong to have Ebbe pressed against me. It should have. Looming over me the way he was, I should have been making a move to get back on top. But all thoughts of showing him I still ranked above him when it was just the two of us fled my thoughts at the shuddering exhale that left him.
The reaction intrigued me, and I waited for him to make some move, unable to react just yet. What new rules was he creating to our games? And could I keep playing when I was still so confused by us.
His fingers scorched where they still lingered on my hip and my eyes took in every inch of him; from the way his breathing quickened to the added spice in his scent. Just as I couldn't resist lifting my hand to cup his cheek, he hung his head.
"It's harder than you might think to pretend to be an Omega, even though I'm content in being so. The truth is, I'm more wild animal than Wulver really, Raeghan. I've spent most of my life in fur. Being in skin feels so wrong to me sometimes. I don't know how to move, or how to act. Reading facial expressions doesn't come easily. I misinterpret actions, body language, and sounds. . ." he trailed off, and though I could no longer see his face, the tension in him told me what he felt. Shame. Embarrassment.
He might have thought I'd think less of him for his struggles but it was possible I maybe even admired him a little. I hadn't realised before that in joining the pack, he had to learn to fit in an entirely new lifestyle with customs he'd never seen before.
I understood now why the pack let Ebbe get away with his occasional loss of control, because I had no doubt Signy and Jakkon, if not the whole pack, knew about his struggles in skin. They weren't ashamed of him.
Gently catching his chin, I tilted his head back up. "You can still learn all of that, just as I'm learning more about being in fur. And if you don't, oh well. You're accepted by the pack for who you are. I accept you. Even when you misinterpret me saying 'go away' for kiss me."
I got a small chuckle from that but it never really reached his eyes. In fact, he was doing his very best to keep his gaze low and that didn't sit well with me.
"Ebbe?"
"You make it so hard for me to remember sometimes, Raeghan."
"Remember what?" I whispered.
His gaze lifted slowly and I felt the way he studied my face as he did. I was shocked by the burning intensity I found in his expression all of a sudden.
"That I have to be more than just the wolf."
"A wolf of the wilds," I teased breathlessly. My hands moved of their own accord, drawn to him in a way I couldn't explain, and loved to hate. Hesitantly, I brushed my fingers over his arm, feeling the strength of him beneath my fingertips.
I was letting this go too far...
"Yes. I'm of the wilds." Tone completely serious, Ebbe lifted up to look at me. "I'm not strong because I could be an Alpha like Jakkon or Orin. It's a lack of control. I'm dangerous."
I opened my mouth to argue but once more he was moving away from me. Always cowering from himself, he sat with one knee up and a hand fisted in his hair. Swallowing the lump in my throat and pretending the loss of his warmth from around me wasn't felt, I sat up slowly and reached out for him. I couldn't bare to see him so tortured, especially when I was sure he was doing it to himself.
He didn't shove me away, which I took as a sign to continue. My fingers followed the lines of scars up his back that I understood now. Scars he'd gotten trying to stay alive, to keep his sister alive.
I was beginning to unravel him, slowly but surely. And it was getting easier to ignore the voice that told me Aljana was right, that I should be staying away from Ebbe. In that moment it didn't matter what orders I'd been given. I wouldn't. . .couldn't let this male hurt. Not if I could help.
In silence together, I offered him my comfort. Stroking along his skin the same way I would if he was in fur, I acted as if I was in fur myself because I knew now it settled him. He understood these actions. Resting against his back, my chest vibrated with the sound of my wolf, and slowly he began relax.
The sky was beginning to darken, swiftly followed by heavy grey clouds that threatened to release above us. But I barely noticed. My entire being was centred on the harsh set to Ebbe's shoulders. I shifted closer still until I was practically draped over him. Pressing along his shoulder, I dug my fingers into hard muscle to ease the knots I found. His grip on his hair had loosened but his scent was still tinged with sour unease.
Propping my chin on his shoulder, I licked my lips before saying, "I think you could be more, Ebbe. You don't have to be afraid of wanting more, it's in our nature. That doesn't make you dangerous. I could help you, if you'd let me."
Irritation flared in his eyes as he looked over his shoulder at me, jaw clenched and words rough, "You aren't listening to me, Raeghan. I don't want to be more. No more than. . ." He sighed and shook his head, tugging at his hair again. "It doesn't matter. How could I ever be worthy?"
I frowned and poked his cheek but it didn't gain the smile I was after. "Worthy of what? It matters to me."
"Does it?" he snapped.
My lips parted at his tine and I sat up straight, taking my touch away. Blue eyes scanned my face as I dropped my hand, and I hated the doubt in his expression. He didn't believe me? While I knew we fought and annoyed one another, I didn't realise he was convinced I didn't care about him in the slightest.
Of course it mattered to me. He mattered to me. In a way I swore no male ever would but he'd wriggled his way beneath my skin and was hooking his claws into my very marrow. If I wasn't careful, I was going to create a mess.
"Yes, it matters to me, Ebbe. I care about you. Surely you know that," I murmured, slumping a little.
Regret softened his features. Tangling his fingers in my hair, he drew me in so our foreheads touched. "I know. But there's been times I wondered if you'd rather you didn't."
The look he gave me warned me not to lie. So I nodded, a barely perceptible jerk of my head. I could feel his breath fan across my lips as he sighed. At first I thought the admission would only hurt him further but he slid his hand from my hair to my cheek and smiled.
His breath fanned over my lips and I could suddenly vividly remember the way he tasted.
I didn't know who made the next move but suddenly the tension in the air snapped and my resolve got tossed out of the window. We moved in at the same time. Warm lips pressed eagerly against mine and gave me no time to argue with my actions. My hands flew to his shoulders so I wouldn't fall, nails digging into his skin as I kissed Ebbe back with equal fever.
Alarm bells rang loud and deadly in my head, warning me to push him away, to stop, but I couldn't. His scent invaded my senses, his tongue claimed my mouth and that was all my world came down to. There wasn't enough of him against me though. My wolf demanded more, eager with the innate knowledge that Ebbe would give me something I'd been craving.
But maybe he wasn't willing to give it.
A small whimper left me when he briskly pulled away almost as quickly as he'd kissed me. Or had I kissed him? Resting his forehead against mine, he let out an agonised growl. His hand was rough against my cheek as his thumb stroked over my jaw. I huffed my frustration, glaring dazedly up at the male who was forever offering something only to yank it away again.
Ebbe chuckled at my expression, but pools of sky blue still swirled with so many tortured emotions. I brushed stray strands of dark hair away from his face, struggling with my own feelings that tugged and pulled at me like a raging current. Quickly one way, then the other, and every time there was a danger of drowning.
"Raeghan. . .you're the only thing I've ever wanted to fight for."
Those words stopped my heart completely. My breathing hitched, hands stilling and then I was shaking my head, shoving him away to scramble to my feet.
"No," I said firmly.
I couldn't want this, want him. He wasn't part of my plan. With him, I'd face the same problems I would with Gordon. One day he'd want more power, or another life. It was inevitable.
Ebbe sighed, watching me pace. "I sit here a wolf with no control and you stand there too afraid to relinquish any of it."
"Too afraid? This was meant to be a relaxing time away and your just back to toying with and insulting me again." I span around to glare at him, furious he'd pushed for more from me.
But Ebbe wasn't backing down this time. Nor running away. He jumped to his feet to stalk towards me, eyes ablaze and steps purposeful.
Stumbling back from the power that raged from him, I knew I had to keep distance between us now. When he got close, I forgot myself. He made me forget.
But for every step I took back, he only took two more forward with a dangerous smirk.
I'd been playing our game again without even noticing. Enticing him to chase. In backing away from him, I was acting like prey. His prey. And Ebbe had already shown me today, he would always give chase. But there was no place left to run.
My back hit the rough bark of a tree, and a small flicker of panic caught in my belly. Ebbe growled, trying to draw my eyes to his but I knew what would happen if I did. Then again, I was no coward, he wouldn't win this round. At the same time I tipped my head up to look at Ebbe, the thunderous grey sky above us opened up. Huge, icy droplets came pouring down, the air filling with the sound of rustling leaves and splattering mud.
"You want power but you are too afraid to take it," Ebbe rumbled, leaning forward to cage me in against the tree with an arm on either side of me. "You keep the feral side of you locked away in one of your boxes. Despite what you want, you're scared to show truly show everyone else exactly who are, so show me. Let out what you keep trapped, Raeghan."
Kiss forgotten, I shook my head, trying to escape the glowing of his eyes and the way rain plastered his hair to his skin. "Fuck off, Ebbe. You don't know what you're talking about."
"Show me."
"No!"
"Why not?"
I shoved at him with all my strength but he barely budged. His lips peeled back to reveal fangs as a rumble from his chest tried to draw out my wolf.
It worked.
I felt my control slip as he challenged who I was. I knew my eyes would be glowing as the press of fangs stung my bottom lip.
But he didn't understand. He didn't know what would happen if I released my carefully crafted control, let the beast free from the cage that was the only thing that stopped me from raging at any wolf nearby to prove I could be an alpha.
"Please stop," I begged, shivering as rain dripped down my face, turning my skin to ice.
Ebbe scoffed and shook his head with a sneer. "Who's really the pretender here, would-be-Alpha? What happened to the female who told me she would take what she wanted with tooth and claw?"
His hand slid to my throat and I froze, shocked by his audacity; the taking of submission not freely given. Though his grip was light, his fingers barely brushing against my skin, it wasn't a position my wolf appreciated at all. A growl tore from my chest, rumbling like thunder to shake the ground beneath our feet. Ebbe smirked at my warning, quickly stepping away. "There she is. I see you now."
Fury boiled and my vision went red. I swung out with curled claws but Ebbe was fast, simply moving his shoulder so all I caught was air. Surprise flickered. I'd never seen him train with Signy but there was no doubt in my mind who'd taught him to move the way he did as I attacked again.
Rain pelted down heavier, the wind picked up as if urging me on and Ebbe looked ready for what I needed to do. I raged at him. I'd never felt the feral side of myself so strong even though I remained in skin. This was what was being asked of me every time I stepped into the ring with Signy and Orin.
That only angered me further.
The ever watchful Ebbe had understood why I was struggling before I did.
Everything came erupting to the surface all at once. Frustrated with having mot challenged rules set by higher ranked wolves, hiding my true self because I was scared, making a fool of myself at council, missing my pack, my parents. . . it all came out in violence.
And Ebbe let me take it all out on him.
Everything I was feeling, he took the brunt of it. He fought back for once too, giving as many blows as I gave him because he had things he needed to work out too, things he couldn't speak.
Keeping under the cover the trees offered from the rain, we must have looked half mad. Fighting again. We were always bloody fighting. But gods it felt so good for once. Like a release of pent up energy and the letting go of mistakes made.
Knocking into me, Ebbe grunted as we tumbled to the ground. The air nearly got knocked out of me as my back hit a small root, the pain barely felt by me through the haze. A heavy weight settled above me and I struggled at first, until Ebbe let out a growl and the sound brought forth a whole new flurry of feelings. I tried to bite to free myself from him, to escape, but my wrists were pinned above my head and another, softer growl settled the wolf.
Breathing heavily, I closed my eyes and drew back into myself. The fight was over, I could relax again. Proof that I did have the control I always feared I'd lose.
"You're incredible," Ebbe murmured, staring down at me in awe once I was calm again.
Shivering in the rain, bruised and bloodied, I didn't see whatever had him looking at me like that. It made my cheeks burn in a way that had nothing to do with us scrambling around like pups.
"You're still an ass, you know," I muttered, closing my eyes against the drops of water that dripped from the tree we took shelter under.
His grip remained firm, keeping me pinned, but he was careful not to let more of his body touch me. "I know but I won't apologise. I was under orders from Jakkon to provoke you."
"What?" My eyes narrowed in accusation. "Why?"
"I guess he knew I'd be able to draw out what he saw in you," he replied, shifting above me to get more comfortable. It felt so natural to allow him to do that, to cover my body with his so I could soak in his warmth.
I pondered over what he said, remembering how Jakkon had pulled him to one side to speak to him. So he'd known Ebbe would be able to do what no one else had managed.
It was such a relief to finally understand what everyone had meant. There would be no more tamping down on my instincts. No more shoving away the nature of my wolf. If I felt it was my right to challenge, I would. I trusted myself to stay in control now.
"Thank you," I murmured, looking up so I could see Ebbe's face.
He smiled, but there was something strained about it.
How I'd treated my instincts weren't the only thing I had to face tonight. Maybe it would have been best to have him release me before starting this dreaded conversation but a selfish part of me didn't want him to, even if I was sure one of us was going to end up hurting.
Chewing my lip, I closed my eyes before asking, "What is this between us, Ebbe? I told myself I was confused because your scent was the first one I caught after my heat but it's more than that. Isn't it?"
I watched him swallow so hard, his Adams apple bobbed violently. Nodding once, his jaw clenched slightly.
"Yes. And I know you won't like my theory." Sorrow dripped from his tone but he didn't move, he was ready to face this too.
My gaze searched his expression for answers, heart pounding so loudly in my chest, I was sure he could hear it. He wouldn't look at me again, not until I stretched my neck to brush my nose against his. "Tell me so I can understand."
Heaving a deep breath, sad blue eyes crinkled as he smiled again. "My wolf has chosen you, Raeghan Ava Lyall. And I believe yours has chosen mine. It's the closest thing we have to what the Elves and Laoch have with their soul mates. There's is a life long bond the moment they lay eyes on each other, predestined by their gods. Ours is. . .a chosen bond made by instinct."
I frowned in confusion, shaking my head but fingers against my lips stopped me from asking anything so he could further explain. I forced myself to bite my tongue, even while my body buzzed in anticipation, ready to throw whatever he said back in his face.
"It happens more often in the wild, to Wanderers without packs, to ensure survival and pups. I've seen it between your parents, and Orin and Fenna too. It's rarer amongst pack wolves, their choice in mates is more like I imagine it is for humans; conscious choice made from spending time together and learning about one another, then deciding they fit."
The more I was suddenly sure I didn't want to hear what he had to say. My wolf was back, watching through my eyes, the only part of me that felt settled and listened intently.
"Our instincts have been telling us we would be a suited mated pair."
I blinked. "You want to be my mate?"
He sighed and a small stab of hurt hit my chest as he shook his head. "It's more than that now. More than just wanting to be your mate, on my end at least. You are my mate. I will never want or think about another female after you."
"That's not possible. Why would you say that? Why do you toy with me, Ebbe?" I asked, trying to tug my wrists from his hand. He was talking nonsense. Maybe he was mad, or maybe he really did just enjoy nettling me.
Moving his other hand back to mine, he made sure there would be no escaping. Anger burned through his words, or maybe it was frustration. "I would never lie about this. Not ever. Not to you. I know you can feel it; the pull between us. That itch to comfort the other, the way your thoughts always come back to me as mine do to you no matter how much we fight. Will you lie to yourself some more and say you don't feel the same? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me?"
My breathing caught, heart fluttering, skipping a beat, stuttering as much as my thoughts were. I couldn't lie. The fact that I wanted him had been eating away at me since the night I'd gotten drunk back home.
"I never said I didn't want you. I. . .I can't. . .this is too much. We don't work, Ebbe. We want different things. We live completely different lives."
He scoffed. "That's exactly why we work. You fear any mate you take will make an attempt to take the alphaship away from you. I don't want it."
"You don't even know if you want to remain in a pack, this is insane, let me go-"
"Kiss me," he demanded, leaning in close, the breeze bringing his wildflower scent to me, softening my resolve.
"N-no."
"Kiss me, Raeghan, and tell me you don't feel it. Then I'll let you go and I won't bother you again."
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. "I can't."
"Why?
"Ebbe please-"
"Tell me why!"
Just to shut him up, I ended up doing what he wanted. I lifted my head and kissed him. It shocked both of us. His eyes went wide, his lips frozen against mine. I hadn't intended to do more than that, in fact, I'd intended to pull away as smugly as he had when he'd cornered me at the pools but for some reason I did the exact opposite.
I could come up with an excuse for this later; that I was tired of fighting for once, or that I was simply curious. One night couldn't hurt, maybe then he'd come to his senses and I mine. We'd have our fill and go separate ways.
Releasing my wrists, the shock wore off and Ebbe gripped my hips and rolled to his back so I had to straddle his waist. It was my choice now. Staring down at him, I hesitated. Soulful blues glowed in the dark, rain still pelted down around us. Miles and miles away from anyone, we had the world to ourselves.
"Raeghan?" Gruff with desire, Ebbe's voice sent a shiver up my spine. Nobody had ever said my name in such a way before, so full of desperation.
Now was exactly the right time for mistakes to be made, I decided.
Leaning down to press my lips back against his, Ebbe kissed me back this time. My hands slid over his chest to feel the quick beat of his heart, proof he felt the same way I did. Ebbe shifted beneath me and I moaned as the hardness of him pressed against wet heat, stoking the flames that sparked to life. I rocked my hips to ease the growing need for friction and the beautiful groan he gave in return for my actions sealed our fate.
Tingles spread from the path his fingers followed before tangling in my hair. More of myself got lost to sensation. Teeth nipped my bottom lip, his tongue sweeping out to sooth the sting before claiming my mouth. I rocked against him again, one hand braced against his chest while the other lifted to grip his shoulder so I would feel less like I was falling.
Then suddenly I was being flipped onto my back once more, pressed into the cold mud beneath me but I couldn't care less. Not until Ebbe's lips left mine and he chuckled as I growled.
"Tell me you don't feel it," he demanded breathlessly before attacking again.
Nips and kisses were peppered along my jaw and down my neck, stealing my ability to answer him. My fingers found his hair, gripping tight as he moved his way down my body to capture a nipple between his teeth, which sent a bolt of heat straight to my core. Another husky chuckle from the male in control above me. Ebbe knew how to play my body so no thoughts could get past the haze his touch created. I couldn't even remember why I'd been fighting him in the first place. What could be wrong with this?
Releasing my hip, his hand slid down to grip my thigh, hooking it over his waist. Fingers bruised soft flesh to hold me in place but I wasn't fighting anyway. Our eyes met, both of us panting heavily. Slowly, Ebbe moved his hand down and I was hypnotised by its movements, watching as he gripped his length.
I gave him my answer with my submission, biting my lip as I lifted my hips in offering. My gaze lifted to his again so I could see him when he took me. Blue eyes burnt brightly, locked on my face before his lips crushed back against mine, and at the same time, he thrust into me.
His mouth swallowed my shout of pleasure, the feel of him stretching me getting rid of any lingering doubt. Gentle, coaxing brushes were replaced by desperate, greedy touches.
We fought again for control. My nails raked down his back, demanding he move and give me what I wanted. With a low groan, he bucked into my again. His pace was quick, jagged thrusts that left me clawing for something to anchor myself to. But it was no use. I was lost. Gone. Everywhere Ebbe's s body touched mine burned hot, too hot. It was too much. He rocked into me over and over while his lips, tongue and teeth explored every inch of skin he could reach, leaving a red path behind. A hand sliding beneath my rear to tilt my hips up and a strangled cry slipped out. Never had sex been like this before, the intensity threatening to rip my sanity away.
The next time he filled me, he hit a spot that caused bright lights to fill my vision even as I squeezed my eyes shut. A warm hand slid to cup my breast, a calloused thumb sweeping over my nipple.
"Ebbe!" I gasped, shuddering at the growl he gave in answer.
"Let go," he demanded huskily by my ear, tongue flicking out to taste my skin. His movements picked up again, my fingers feeling every bunch and ripple of muscle as he moved. "You don't have to be in control here."
Gods.
It was easier to do as he said than I'd admit. Just as I was used to his touch in one place, he would find another spot that would draw a moan. Always changing tactic to keep me on edge for him. His name became a related plea, shouted and whispered huskily as if it was the only word I knew. When I was sure I could take no more, certain he'd pushed my body to its limits, rough fingers circled over the sensitive bundle of nerves at my core. This time I whimpered, clinging onto Ebbe because if I didn't. . .
His movements became faster, demanding I let go again, and the moment the sting of fangs scraped over my neck, I fell. All my senses were pushed out of the way.
My scream filled the air, back bowing, legs trembling as my walls clenched around his length. But he didn't stop. Drawing every ounce of pleasure he could, he forced me back into my body just as it fell apart again. My head flew back on a silent cry of ecstasy as another wave of pleasure rocked through me.
With a roar, Ebbe bucked hilt deep once more, his entire body trembling as he spilled into me. We panted through another kiss, and I shuddered with every pulse of him between my legs. Resting his forehead against mine, he stroked his hand up my side. I didn't feel the need to say anything, and for a while, we stayed that way, simply breathing in the mingled scents of each other.