TW: drug use
{Your POV}
"I'm going to my room Liam" I said and started to walk upstairs
"Why?" He asked
"I have to get my phone" I lied and walked upstairs
I needed drugs. I injected some heroin in my arm. After ten minutes my breathing changed and my chest and shoulders were moving up and down while I breathed in a shallow way
I tried to get up and walk to the mirror of my room but fell down with my back against my bed. I was gasping for air and looked at my hands and arms. My skin was so pale and my fingertips and lips had a blue tint
What the fuck was happening to my fucking body?
I put my index and middle finger on my neck to check my pulse and it was weak. I suddenly had a seizure and it was hard for me to stay awake. After a few minutes my eyes began to close. I tried my best to keep them open but eventually gave up on fighting against whatever was going on in my body. Everything went black
{ Ariana's POV }
I was driving to Y/n from the studio and I was excited to see her since Liam invited me and Zayn.
Suddenly I got a call from Zayn and picked up
"Hey babe" I smiled
"Ariana- Y/n" he said
"What?" I asked
"She's in her room and not answering." He said.
"Maybe she fell asleep" I shrugged not making a big deal out of it
"Like half an hour ago she told us that she just had to get her phone but it's been thirty minutes Ariana" he said
"Fucking hell. She's not a person who takes naps what the fuck. I'm actually worried now shit" I said while still looking at the road
"Ariana come please." He said.
"What the fuck do you think am I doing right now?!" I snapped
"Well hurry up" he said before hanging up
What a fucking asshole
I hope she's okay. I can't lose her. I hope it's not what I'm thinking
A few minutes later, I arrived at home and immediately ran upstairs
I knocked at the door of her room
"Y/n/n? Babe are you okay?" I asked but didn't get an answer
I opened the door and screamed at the sight
I ran over to her and she was laying on the floor. I took her in my arms and started to cry. I was sitting on the floor, on my knees with her in my arms
"No no no"
"Ariana- fuck." Liam breathed out.
"Ca- call the ambulance. Please" I begged him with tears streaming down my face
"I- I will" he said and walked out of the room
"Baby please wake up. I love you please" I cried
"Y/n I'm begging you" I whispered
Her skin was so pale and her lips blue. She looked lifeless. She felt so cold in my arms
Why haven't I noticed anything? I always saw how red and tired her eyes were but I believed her when she said she was just tired. I'm so fucking stupid
A few minutes later the ambulance team came running inside the room. They sent me out of the room and I fell into Liam's arms
"I fucked up" I cried
"It's going to be okay Ariana. She's strong" he said
"I don't want her to leave me Liam. I need her" I cried into his chest
He rubbed my back
"She's the strongest person I know. She'll make it. I know it. She's tried to kill herself many times but never succeeded"
"What if now? I should've fucking noticed. I'm so fucking stupid. I was busy fucking around with Zayn that I didn't notice how much she was suffering. Fuck" I broke down again
"Ariana it's not your fault. As her brother I should've noticed. I was the only person she had before she met you and I fucked up" he said and looked inside the room
A police officer walked towards us and looked at us in sympathy
"They're bringing her to the hospital now. I'm sorry to tell you but she overdosed from heroin. She injected it and she probably had other drugs in her body before which haven't left yet plus the heroin, which is a really strong drug especially injecting it" he told us and my eyes filled with tears again
"Overdosed?" I whispered
"Yes, with this" he showed us
"Fuck" I said before breaking down again
"Calm down Miss. It's not helpful at all for you to break down here." He said politely.
"He's right Ariana. You gotta be strong for her." Liam told me.
The officer walked away and looked through the room to see if she took other drugs
"Do you think she did it on purpose?" I whispered and looked at Liam
"I don't know. I think she didn't" he said and watched as they carried her cold body
"I love her Liam. I can't lose her" I whispered and watched them as well
"I know and I'm grateful for that" he said
"Where's Zayn?" I asked
"He went home. He was tired"
"What the fuck? How could he leave in such a moment? She could be dead and he's tired? I hate him so much" I said
"Don't say that" he said
"Let's go" he told me
"What? Where?" I asked confused.
"To the hospital" he said
"Oh yeah. Let's go" I said
We got inside his car and he drove us to the hospital. I was a crying mess all the way till we were there
When we arrived I immediately ran to a nurse and asked her
"Hi, we're here for Y/n" I told her
"I'm sorry only family" she said
"He's her brother and I'm her fiancée" I said
She looked at my ring finger and I showed her Mac's promise ring which I still wore
"Yeah there. But you can't go inside. The doctors are there" she told us and I nodded
"Why did you say fiancée?" Liam asked me
"They didn't let me in when I told them I was Mac's girlfriend" I told him and he nodded his head
I called Shawn and Harry since they were her close friends.
"Ariana? What happened?" Shawn asked after they got here
"Y- Y/n" I whispered
"What happened with her?" He asked
"She overdosed" I broke down again
"Oh shit no" he said and pulled me into his arms
"Calm down hun. It's gonna be alright. She's strong" he told me
"That's what they said about Mac" I sobbed
"Y/n is not Mac" Harry said and hugged me
"My baby. I fucked up. I should've noticed how she was feeling but I was busy with Zayn. I'm such a horrible friend. I should've noticed. She didn't look healthy at all. She always looked so high and on drugs. Why am I so fucking blind? This is all my fault" I cried into my hands
"It's not Ariana. Don't say that" Shawn rubbed my back
"It is! As her fucking best friend I should've been there for her but no, what was I doing instead? I was fucking around and hanging out with other people. I believed her when she said she was just tired. She looked broken and sad all the fucking time. I should've been there to hug her and tell her that everything's gonna be alright but I wasn't there for her. She had no one but me and you guys. It's all my fault. It's always my fault. It's like everyone that I truly love gets hurt. I hate myself" I cried loudly
"Ariana shh. Calm down. It's going to be alright"
What if I'll never see her smile again? What if I'll never hear her voice again? Or her laugh? What if I'll never be able to look into her beautiful eyes again?
But what if I'll never be able to apologize to her and tell her about my feelings for her?
I hate my fucking self
"Are you Y/n Payne's family?" A nurse asked and I immediately got up
"Yes, here" I said
"She's stable and in the room. She's lucky to have a second chance and take care of her. She'll wake up soon" she told us and I sighed in relief
"Thank God" I said and started to cry out of happiness
"Let's go inside, should we?" They asked and I nodded my head
We walked inside then they went outside for a few minutes and I stayed there with her
"Y/n/n? Please wake up" I said and grabbed her hand
I sang "Thinking bout you" by Frank Ocean. Y/n loved when I sang it because there was a time where I was obsessed with that song for a while
During the song she squeezed my hand. I immediately stopped singing and looked at her. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me. She smiled a little and I immediately got up to hug her
"Fuck. You scared me so much" I said and kissed her cheek softly
"I'm sorry" she apologized
"Why did you do it? Did you want to overdose on purpose or-"
"I swear I didn't mean to overdose" she said and I nodded my head
"Don't ever scare me like that. I was a fucking crying mess" I giggled in embarrassment
"Don't worry about me" she said and grabbed my hand
I looked down at her. We looked into each other's eyes and I started to lean in.
Our moment got interrupted by a knock at the door and I immediately took a step back
She looked confused at me and I had the same look on my face. What was going to happen if no one knocked at the door?
Harry, Liam and Shawn walked inside the room with big smiles on their faces. Shawn had muffins in his hands, now I get why Y/n calls him muff
She smiled at them and we ate the muffins together and talk about random shit. Not once did I fake a smile.
Whenever I was with her my smile was real and I was genuinely happy. No one made me feel like that
She was telling us something but I just looked at her with a big smile on my face. She brightened up my world
Harry, Liam and Shawn eventually left and it was just me and her. It was kinda awkward because of what was about to happen but the doctor walking in broke the awkward silence
"So she's staying here the night and if you want you can stay here as well. I think she might need some emotional support" the doctor said and I agreed with him
"Please let me know when you're not okay Y/n. I know I might not have shown you that I care about you but I do. I really do. I love you Y/n/n and I can't handle the thought of losing you" I told her
"Okay. I'm tired. Can I sleep?" She asked
I frowned but nodded my head
"Goodnight. I love you" I said and kissed her cheek
"Mhm night. Love you too" she said before turning around and falling asleep immediately
I sighed quietly and fell asleep as well
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