Aaliyah
The boy with those beautiful, blue eyes who always looks so serious has my heart. He took it without my permission when I was just twelve and I've never gotten it back since. That boy who only thinks about two things. Soccer...and her.
He looked so sad and angry today, sitting in the middle of our soccer field and frowning at the ball. As if the ball had done him some great wrong. Whenever he got upset, my soul ached to comfort him.
I asked him what the problem was and at first he grumbled 'nothing.' Then I smiled at him and took his hand in mine, made him look at me with those gorgeous eyes and asked him again, sweetly this time.
He told me he wanted to become a famous soccer player someday. That he wanted to be the best. Even better than my brother. But he doubted himself all the time. So I brought my arms around him and gave him the warmest, tightest hug I could ever give someone. Not even Abbu had ever received such a hug from me. No one had.
"You're going to be awesome," I had told him confidently. "I know it. And if you ever feel like giving up, just know that I'm always going to be the one to cheer you on."
He'd smiled back at me then. Wow. He was so handsome. And so tall that even when he was sitting down, it felt like he towered over me.
"What is that perfume, Aali?" he had asked me in a lowered tone. "I really like it."
I had blushed a little and pushed back my hair, exposing my neck to him. "Lilac," I said shyly.
He had leaned forward a bit to inhale it properly and I had started to feel this floating sensation in my gut.
"It's nice," he had murmured and his voice sounded deeper than usual. "You really think I can do it? Become great?"
I nodded and dared to run my fingers through his short, blonde hair, gazing up at him with adoration. "Yes, Jacob," I whispered sincerely. "I believe in you."
I brushed my fingers over the smooth but yellowed page of my journal, sighing at the words I had written two years ago. He didn't remember. He didn't remember this moment but it was stamped on my memory so clearly. Maybe because I read this diary entry almost every day, trying to recapture the feelings I had experienced. He'd been so sweet to me that day but I had quickly come to realise that Jacob's sweet side was a rare thing to witness. As was his smile.
Why was he so clueless? Why couldn't he see how much he meant to me? Did girls have to say everything out loud for boys to understand them? Was the way I looked at him not enough? We'd grown up together. He couldn't be that stupid. But then I guessed he couldn't really notice anyone else when he was still so busy making eyes at Jasmine. God, I hated her so much. She could write anywhere else in this big house but she chose to write right there in the kitchen in plain sight of him so he could ogle her to his heart's content. Bitch.
Angrily, I threw my journal across the room and stalked off to go find Abbu. I knew exactly what I wanted for my sixteenth birthday. I wanted Jacob Wells and I was not going to stand by and watch him be stupid anymore. It was time to do something about this longing that erupted inside my heart every time he so much as breathed around me.
****
"We should watch something else."
"Like what?"
"That new adventure movie you keep talking about. Is it out on Netflix yet?"
Jacob let out a sigh and stared at his phone screen. I narrowed my eyes at his profile. Sometimes, it felt like you had to pay this guy just to get him to speak to you. Or maybe he just acted that way around me.
Glancing over at the sofa a few feet away from us, I made sure that Zi was sleeping before lowering myself next to Jacob on the couch. It was one a.m on the morning after my sixteenth birthday. We'd had a huge party out in the yard and since I didn't have any friends, I'd invited all of Zi's and Jacob's. Most of them had been guys. Some of them had been allowed to sleep over in the living room provided they didn't drink in the house.
Abbu and Jasmine were asleep upstairs and my father had promised not to interrupt our partying at any point. He hadn't said anything regarding the lateness and an all-boys' sleepover where I was the only girl. The catch? My brother was going to supervise. Or he was supposed to. I chuckled softly as I watched Ziad sprawled on the couch with his mouth slightly open and eyes closed. They'd all been playing video games and were exhausted from the party and soccer training during the day; Ziad and a few other friends of his who were crashing on couches or the floor around us.
Jacob and I were the only ones awake. It was perfect. It would have been even more perfect if I could take him up to my room but he wouldn't come easily. The only reason he hadn't fallen asleep was because I was still downstairs and Ziad was no longer watching me. So the baton had passed over to Jacob until I was safely in my room. They didn't have to tell me this in order for me to know. It was just bro code, I guessed. Only, it wasn't going to work this time. I was going to have him breaking every rule, every fucking code he had ever known until he didn't even remember his own name. Starting tonight.
"Do you want a blanket?" I asked Jacob in a low voice scooting closer to him on the couch. The lights were off but there was enough glare from his phone screen to see the suspicious way he frowned at me.
"No, it's warm in here," he said quietly. "Aren't you sleepy? Party's over, Aali. Go to bed."
I rolled my eyes in the dark. No, I wasn't sleepy. My heart was pounding, I felt a rise of adrenaline and my stomach was the victim of some serious nervous flutters. What if he got angry with me? I'd seen him lose his temper a few times and it wasn't pretty.
"Why didn't you get me a present?" I questioned and he froze, probably just realising that he had forgotten to do so. "I bought you that A.C Milan jersey for your birthday and you couldn't get me one tiny little thing." I clicked my tongue in disappointment. Not that I cared about presents. No. I just wanted him.
"I'll get you something tomorrow," he finally said, still looking at his phone screen.
I snatched the stupid thing from him and Jacob threw me a glare. "Aali-"
"I'll give it back if you give me my present," I interrupted.
He let out an impatient breath. "I don't have anything on me right now, okay. Jesus, you're annoying tonight."
It hurt a little when he said that to me. He thought I was annoying? Determination flowed through me yet again to make this boy see me for who I was. Not some annoying baby sister. But a girl he could go crazy for. He would be so wrapped up in me that nothing else would make sense anymore. I'd become the reason he breathed just like he was for me.
One kiss. One kiss and I'd have him eating out of my hands.
"I can't believe you're being so mean to me," I said softly, faking a sad tone and tossing his phone back at him. "All I asked for was a stupid present. You know what? I'm going to go. I don't even care if you get me anything or not. Good night."
It was a gamble and I wasn't sure if I would win but this was the boy I had been in love with since I was a little girl and I liked to believe that he was a good guy. That deep down, he could be kind and sweet despite being so dense most of the time when it came to my feelings.
I smiled a little when I heard him following me and frantically whispering, "Aali. Aaliyah, wait. I'm sorry, okay. I'll get you something tomor-"
I went inside the library and shut the door behind me before pressing myself against the wall and trying not to giggle. Yeah, Jacob Wells. How does it feel to run after me for a change? The library was so dark and the house super quiet. It was kind of thrilling playing this cat and mouse game with him in the early hours of the morning. The whole world was asleep and it was just the two of us now.
"Aaliyah, come on. You need to go to bed. I'm fucking tired, okay," he murmured as he entered the library as well and the flashlight from his phone shone in my face.
I winced and put a hand in front of my eyes, hissing, "Turn that stupid thing off."
He did and I blinked in the sudden darkness, barely making out his figure. I only knew he was there from the sound of his breathing and the heat of his body. So close to mine. Taking his hand, I tugged him closer and raised myself on tip-toes before draping my arms around his neck. God, he was so tall, I needed high heels to be able to kiss this guy properly.
"Fuck, what're you doing, Aali?" he whispered, trying to step away but I didn't let go.
"Please, Jacob," I whispered back with my heart in my throat. The darkness made it easier to be this bold. I couldn't see his eyes or the expression on his face. "I want you to give me my birthday present. I want a kiss from you."
He stiffened in my arms and seemed to have stopped breathing altogether. "What're you saying? You know I can't do that. Zi trusts me with you."
Oh my god. This whole loyalty thing was going to be the death of me. I got it. They were close, almost like brothers. But I was in love with him, damn it. This was some serious shit and Zi could keep his nose out of it.
"He won't find out. I promise." Dragging him closer to me by tugging on his t-shirt, I felt my back press against the wall and his body pressing into mine. "It's just a kiss. I'm not asking you to fuck me."
It wasn't just a kiss for me though. It could never be just anything for me when it came to Jacob Wells.
Jacob went still again and I wasn't sure what was going through his mind when he didn't respond while I waited breathlessly. And then I knew exactly what was on his mind when I felt his hard-on digging into my pelvis as we stood there. Wow. I'd done that to him? Jacob was turned on and hard for me. I wanted to laugh in triumph but I kept my emotions in check. I didn't want to scare him off. My arms went around his neck again and our lips were closer now more than ever. He smelled like his favourite cologne, a light, sporty scent that followed him everywhere.
"Touch me," I murmured to him and closed my eyes, breathing in short and shallow bursts. I couldn't believe I was speaking to him this way. I'd never had the courage before.
"Are you going to tell your brother?" he asked in a rush and I almost growled.
"Jacob, stop being a pussy and just kiss me already," I snapped and it sounded loud so I wasn't sure if he did it to shut me up or what but his lips pushed against mine and my world started spinning.
It was awkward at first. I mean, I had kissed a few guys in school before...and some who weren't in school and I was pretty sure Jacob wasn't a virgin even if it pained me to admit it but we didn't really get it right the first time.
There was a bumping of noses and my calves and toes started aching from being stretched for so long so I had to lower myself and rest my feet and our mouths parted because of it.
"You're too tall," I whispered, my heart going crazy inside my chest. I couldn't believe he was actually here with me, sharing this moment. A minute ago, he'd called me annoying.
Jacob did the sweetest thing then. Bending a little, he clasped his hands under my thighs and then hoisted me up until I was level with him while bracing me against the wall. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him and a jolt of pleasure ran through me at the contact. His hips pressing against my inner thighs and his erection pushing against my crotch felt wonderful as well and I sighed a little, wishing I could see his face now. Look into his eyes and feel myself drowning in them. One of my hands was on his shoulder and the other was exploring the bare skin of his neck before my fingers moved to his lips.
He moved his head to kiss me again and I relaxed into his arms, giving in to it and just not thinking too much. So what if it was a little awkward? We were only teenagers. We could get better at it with time. He was mine now. Maybe he wanted to be with me too but was scared of hurting my brother.
When I opened my mouth and touched my tongue to his, Jacob let out a soft moan and held me tighter, starting to move his hips against mine. The friction felt amazing. We were both panting as our tongues swirled and hands explored each other.
"Fuck, Aaliyah," he gasped a little and broke the kiss. "We need to stop. I can't sleep with you."
My heart swelled at the regret I heard in his tone. He said he couldn't but he wanted to, right? Sleeping with Jacob... I'd never have nightmares again. He'd hold me close and we'd be so madly in love. I could sneak him in when Abbu and Zi would fall asleep. But he was withdrawing from me and I panicked a little, not wanting to let him go so quickly.
"Wait," I whispered and my hands went to the bottom of my t-shirt to grab a hold of it before I took it off and tossed it aside.
"God, what're you doing?" he asked me again uncertainly, still keeping me anchored between the wall and his body.
Without a word, I took his hands in mine and placed them over my breasts. He sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed them, almost instinctively it seemed.
"Oh my god," he breathed out and I heard him swallow. "Fuck, they feel so good. I wish I could see them."
His thumbs rubbed against my nipples and I whimpered a little because it felt amazing, his warm hands on my tits. My legs tightened around him even more and he rocked his hips once again.
"Give me a hickey," I told him and Jacob stopped squeezing my boobs.
"Huh?"
"A hickey, you idiot," I said. "Haven't you ever given one? Do it on my boobs, okay." I wanted his mark on me. I wanted to wake up tomorrow and be sure that this wasn't some dream.
"I...I don't..." He let out a sigh and then bent his head to my breasts. I moaned a little at the incredible feelings washing over me. God, I loved him so much. My Jacob.
I felt a slight stinging sensation on the skin of my left breast and welcomed it, smiling and running my fingers through his soft hair. His tongue licked at the spot then and I almost thought he would do the same to my nipples but instead, he lifted his head and then drew back, trying to release me.
Reluctantly, I let him lower me to the floor and hugged myself a little as cool air brushed against my bare tits. The flashlight came back on again and I froze slightly because I thought he wanted to look at my boobs or something and ruin the moment. That light was bright as fuck and it irritated the hell out of me. But he was simply looking for my discarded t-shirt and handed it to me before turning the flashlight off.
"Please go to your room," he told me. "We're all boys out there. It's not safe for you. I don't trust any of them. Good night, Aaliyah."
He left before I could answer and I stood in the library for a long time afterwards just thinking about him and wishing he could have stayed with me till sunrise.
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