Ben
They say the best way to cure a hangover, is to keep drinking the next day. I wondered if the same was said for a grieving heart. I decided to test the notion with a double shot of Jameson at 8am. I mean why not? I had nothing else to lose; except for my job. I had maxed out all my vacation leave and sick leave to care for Lisa. There was no doubt that I'd be getting a phone call to explain my absence in the following days. With Lisa now gone, I had absolutely no excuse as to why I hadn't returned to work.
And even though I had put all my sweat and tears trying to get into orthopeadics, right now, I couldn't care less.
Minutes felt like hours as I kept replaying the last two years in my mind. My thoughts dated back to unwanted events and memories. Memories that I had purposely pushed far back in my mind, in hopes that they wouldn't resurface. However, there was always one that threatened to resurface, one that I knew would haunt me forever.
"You don't think you'll be back by 9pm?", I questioned, holding the phone close to my ear.
I heard her sigh on the other end of the line.
"I doubt it, I need to cover someone else's shift, I probably won't be done till midnight".
"It's a Sunday Lis", I pleaded.
"I know, I know, but you know what it's like to be an intern".
I couldn't argue with that. Not too long ago, I was in her shoes, struggling to make ends meet whilst trying to keep a happy wife. Lisa's parents had cut her off completely, financially too. And although my parents offered to help us out, we wanted to build a life on our own. However, it wasn't as easy as we had thought.
I guess I had assumed that once my internship would be over, me and Lisa would finally be able to live a normal life. A life where we actually had time for each other. I'll admit, I wasn't thrilled when she expressed her interest in joining the obstetrics and gynecology internship. It would mean another couple of years of struggles and long nights. But I couldn't shut down her dream career. After all, she had supported me throughout my entire journey, and I was set on the idea of supporting her too.
"I'll be home as soon as I can ok? I love you".
"I love you too", I said as she hung up the phone.
I glanced at the candle lit dinner table, set up with all her favourite food and nibbles. I sighed internally and began to clear up the table, carefully packaging the food in hopes that it wouldn't turn bad for the next day.
The sound of the doorbell ringing halted my movements. I was curious to see who'd be crazy enough to be outside, considering it was a hail storm. I shrugged it off as some kids probably playing some pranks.
Not even a minute later, the doorbell rang again. This time, I approached the door and looked through the peep hole. At first glance, I thought it was Lisa, with water dripping down her blonde locks. I quickly opened the door ready to welcome my wife, only to find her sister standing before me.
"Torvi?", I questioned.
She looked just as surprised to see me as I was to see her.
"Ben", she began. "Is my sister home?".
She was absolutely soaked. Make up was running down her face. I wasn't sure if it was because of the rain ... or because she had previously been crying.
"She'll be here soon. Jesus Torvi, let's get you inside". I opened the door further to let her in.
"So uh, you dyed your hair", I said awkwardly whilst looking for some dry towels.
"Yeah, I needed a change", she said before crossing her arms.
"Looks good". I purposely failed to mention her resemblance to Lisa, which was very evident now.
I returned with the towels and Torvi quickly wrapped them around her. My mind was burning with questions. It had been years since I'd seen her, and as far as I knew, Lisa hadn't spoken to her in years too. She hadn't even attended our wedding.
"Coffee?", I questioned.
"Sure. That would be nice".
It was only when we entered the kitchen, which was well lit, that I noticed the state of her. Her eyes were puffy, and her cheecks were red. There was no doubt that she had been crying on her way over here.
"Don't get me wrong Torvi, it's nice to see you and all, but it's a bit odd".
She raised her eyebrow at me, indicating that she wasn't sure what I meant.
"You know, considering you and your sister aren't exactly on good terms".
I was putting it midly. Torvi made Lisa's life hell the last few weeks before she moved out. It was almost like she held a resentment towards her, when in fact it was always Lisa who was treated unfairly.
What happened next was not what I was expecting. Torvi burst out into a full on crying fit. She was hysterical. And I didn't know how to stop it.
"Crap, I ... should have kept my mouth shut", I thought out load.
After a few minutes, her sniffing started to cease, giving me the opportunity to hand her coffee.
"I'm sorry. You're right", she said in between sniffs. "I'm not even sure why I came here. I had nowhere else to go".
"Let's have a chat on the couch yeah?".
She nodded and made her way to the couch. I carefully sat next to her, trying to comfort her whilst also keeping my distance.
Torvi was only two years younger than Lisa. Lisa would tell me that they often got mistaken for each other. Hence the reason why Torvi dyed her hair black. She was very different to Lisa, and wanted her own identity. I was confused as to why she would dye her hair back to Lisa's exact shade.
"I can't stay there anymore. It's like being in a prison".
With just those words, Torvi gave me all the answers I needed.
"What happened Torvi?".
"My father kicked me out. He found condoms in my room and totally flipped out". She began, keeping her eyes fixated on the ground.
"I can't believe it", she continued. "He actually kicked me out".
Denial was evident in her voice. It was definitely something Frank would freak out about, but throwing his remaining daughter out of his house was a whole another level.
"I think you need something a little stronger than coffee. Scotch?", I offered, trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh God, yes please".
I chuckled and made my way to the kitchen. As I poured two glasses of scotch, my phone rang with a message from Lisa.
I frowned when I realised she wouldn't be home until the morning. I decided on telling her that her sister was here after her shift was over. She wouldn't have been able to get through her shift knowing that someone from her family was around.
"So uh looks like Lisa won't be here till tomorrow morning. You can crash here if you'd like", I said as I passed her a glass of scotch.
"I don't want to impose", she replied.
"Nonsense, it's pouring out there. I'll crash on the couch, you can take the main bedroom". In such circumstances, I always wondered why me and Lisa hadn't set up the guest bedroom yet. I guess we never found the time .... or the energy.
"I can sleep on the couch, really".
"I insist". I persisted.
Surprisingly, the next few hours flew by like minutes with Torvi venting on what ensued in the last few years. We had a lot to catch up on. I figured Frank would have the same shitty rules with Lisa's sister too. But things seemed to have only gotten worse after Lisa's departure.
To an extent, I felt sorry for her. The weight of being stuck with a strict christian family must have been heavy, too heavy for her to handle. With Lisa being gone, all the focus was on her and the pressure for her to take a different path than her sister must have been overbearing.
"Lisa's one lucky girl", she said disrupting me from my thoughts.
"Nah, I'm the lucky one", I said as I downed the remaining scotch. It had just dawned on me that we had both finished a whole bottle of scotch.
"No Ben", she began as she shifted closer. "You got her out of that shit hole, gave her a new life".
There was something in her tone that wasn't right. A hint of jealousy?
"I'm sure you'll find somebody too Torvi".
Her hand reached my knee. The action made me uncomfortable, but I silenced myself not wanting to make things uncomfortable.
My silence must have encouraged her to move her hand further up.
"What are you doing?", I said, ceasing her actions.
She bit her lip and slowly removed the straps of her spaghetti top. When had she taken her jacket off?
"Thanking you. For saving me and my sister". Her hand escaped my hold and found my member, eager to explore what was underneath.
I felt numb ... unable to move .... unable to halt her actions. My mouth opened to speak, without forming any words. She took this opportunity to connect her lips with mine.
What the fuck was in that scotch?
She looked, smelled and tasted like Lisa. But I knew she wasn't Lisa.
Did I want to stop? Yes. But it wouldn't have made a difference in the slightest.
My marriage was over the moment I invited the devil inside.