Cas sat tiredly down at the dining room table, a half finished painting balanced on his easel. His studio had more space for him to work, but he was never quite as comfortable as he was at the window. Little Gabe snoozed on the carpet in a patch of sunlight, with Grace under the table. Fries played outside in the garden, running around in the grass, while Hoagie watched her from a distance.
Cas rested his head in his hands. He and Dean had submitted their paperwork, gathering all their family records, medical records, letters of recommendation from Sam and Jody, and yet more letters from each of their therapists and doctors. Now all they could do was wait and hope. It had already been weeks. Cas was getting progressively more anxious, and Dean tried to offset it by being extremely upbeat and optimistic, but it didn't help much.
Dean had called him earlier and told him he was going to pick up some takeout on his way home. His tone was light, but something about it was off, so Cas had lost concentration on his painting.
After what felt like an eternity, Dean finally came into the house, carrying bags with him, which he dumped on the table. He pulled a chair up beside Cas, and the look on his face made Cas freeze in his seat.
'So I've got some bad news,' Dean said quietly, taking Cas's hand. 'The agency called me today. They're not going to approve us for a baby.'
Cas nodded, pressing his lips together. 'Okay,' he whispered. 'That's - that's what we thought.' Cas let his head fall into Dean's shoulder.
'It's okay,' Dean murmured, rubbing Cas's back. 'But listen, it doesn't have to be the end.' He lifted Cas's head up.
'What do you mean?'
'They're willing to review our application again, for an older kid.'
Cas looked up at Dean's face. He could see the disappointment, but the same spark of hope still shone in his eyes.
'What do you think?' Dean prompted.
'I think - I think that might be good. There are lots of children out there that need a home. We could do that, right?'
Dean nodded with a small smile. 'You bet we could. But we're not going to give them an answer right away.'
'We're not?'
'No. You're tired, I'm tired. We're going to take a nice vacation and think it over, okay?'
Cas kissed him softly. 'Where were you thinking?'
'How about Yellowstone? Great place for camping.'
'That sounds nice.'
'Great, now let's eat before this all gets cold.' Dean began unwrapping their food, and Cas whistled the dogs inside, scaring Little Gabe awake in the process.
'Are we still having Mary over for the weekend?' Cas asked.
'Yeah, we're taking her down to the beach, I think.'
Cas nodded and quickly wrote it on his whiteboard before they ate.
He decided to put their worries out of his mind, at least for now, and let himself get excited for their trip to Yellowstone. He'd seen in their albums that they had been before, but that was one of the things he still couldn't remember. In any case, Dean seemed determined to take him to every place he could think of, whether or not they'd been before.
Dean bought them a brand new tent, large enough for the two of them, all their camping equipment, and both dogs. He found them a secluded spot and showed Cas how to pitch a tent. They spent most of the vacation in the tent, enjoying each other's company, and allowing themselves to unwind. They went on several hikes where Cas took endless pictures of things he wanted to paint, although they ended up having to carry Hoagie much of the way.
They arrived home refreshed and ready to try again, so they resubmitted their application.
While they waited, Cas watched the way Hoagie moved.
'I'm going to start taking Fries out by herself, and see how she does,' Cas told Dean one evening. 'He's getting tired.'
'Yeah, he is getting on a bit, the old geezer,' Dean said fondly, reaching down to scratch Hoagie behind the ears. 'Have you got a lift to the hospital tomorrow, or do you want me to drop you off?'
'Jody's taking me,' Cas said, 'she says the children have been asking about her job a lot, she's going to come and talk to them about it.'
'Awesome.'
And so they waited again, keeping their spirits up with Dean's music and Cas's painting, and the news came at last when they were dancing together in the kitchen.
Dean held Cas closely, kissing him deeply, hands at his waist.
'Hey, guys,' Jody called, coming in through the side door. 'Got your mail, just came to pick up my pie dish.'
Dean smiled and gave her a hug, and Cas took the mail from her. He sorted through them. Most of them appeared to be junk, but there was one that was addressed to both of them. Cas frowned and opened the letter, quickly reading through it. 'Dean,' he gasped, grabbing his arm. ' Dean.'
'What?'
'I- They approved us.' Cas looked up at his shocked face.
'You're kidding!' Dean grabbed the letter. 'Holy crap.'
'What? What is it?' Jody said, watching both of their faces lighting up.
'We're getting a kid!' Dean exclaimed.
'That's amazing!' Jody flung her arms around them. 'I'm so happy for you guys!'
Dean pulled away. 'I have to call Sam, I'll be right back.' He walked off, already dialling.
Cas leaned against the kitchen counter, heart thumping. 'Wow,' he whispered.
'Hey, are you okay?' Jody asked, beaming.
'I'm - I'm amazing,' Cas smiled. 'I can't believe it's really happening.'
Jody put a hand to her chest, welling up. 'Oh, you guys are gonna be such great dads.'
'We're going to be dads,' Cas repeated in disbelief.
Dean came back into the kitchen, almost vibrating in excitement, and squeezed Cas tightly. 'I love you so much,' he said.
Jody sniffed. 'Okay, okay, does it tell you when?'
Cas took the letter back from Dean. 'Let's see, we've got an appointment in two weeks to meet with our consultant, and they've already got us a potential match with a little boy-' His voice failed for a moment. 'We're going to meet him too.'
'I am going to frame this thing,' Dean choked.
Sam and Jess arrived not long later, putting Mary to sleep in the spare room, and celebrating with them.
'We gotta fix up that room,' Dean murmured to Cas, as they lay in bed.
Jody had gone home, but Sam and Jess had pulled out an airbed and set it up in the living room.
'We can do that,' Cas whispered. 'We're ready.'
Dean nodded. 'Yeah, we are.'
The next couple of weeks were a flurry of activity. They rearranged the spare room and moved most of their own things out of it. They left Mary's bed in it for the time being, but began putting in new furniture, including a nice rug and a small, lightweight bookcase that Cas couldn't wait to fill with children's books. Finally, the day before the appointment, they built a bunkbed in the room, so that Mary would still have a place to stay.
'I think it looks great,' Dean grinned, arm around Cas's shoulder, as they admired it from the doorway. 'Are you excited?'
Cas bit his lip. 'I'm nervous,' he admitted. 'What if he doesn't like us?'
'Are you kidding? He'll love us. We're very charming, you know. Everyone says so.'
Cas chuckled.
Just then, Fries came up behind him and whined, pawing at his leg.
'Thank you,' he said to her, patting her as he lay down on the floor.
Dean was singing to him when he regained consciousness, and he clicked his fingers for Fries. She lay down next to him, pushing her nose under his arm and resting against his chest.
'Are you sure I can do this?' Cas mumbled, self-doubt blooming inside him, imagining how his lying prone might look to a child in his care.
'Yes,' Dean said firmly. 'You've got this. You've got it so hard.'
'Okay,' Cas nodded, and they eventually made it to bed.
The next morning, they got dressed, hurriedly ate breakfast, and put Fries into her harness. She had been doing well by herself, so Cas decided to leave Hoagie sleeping peacefully on the couch, giving him a quick kiss before they left.
Cas was quiet in the car. He had rolled down his window to keep fresh air flowing through the car, but his palms were still sweating. He could tell that Dean was feeling his nerves too. He hadn't even switched on the radio.
Dean parked outside the office, and they both sat in silence for a moment. He took a deep breath and grabbed Cas's hand. 'You ready?' he asked.
'As I'll ever be.'
They got out of the car and walked in together, tightly holding hands. A social worker greeted them and took them to a waiting room.
'Amy will be with you soon,' the social worker said. 'She'll go through some stuff with you, and then you can meet Jack.'
'That's his name?' said Cas.
The social worker nodded brightly. 'Come take a seat, I'll get you some water. Don't be nervous,' she added. 'It's all looking really great, and we're really happy with your application.'
Soon, the consultant Amy came into the waiting room with their file. 'Are you the Winchesters?' she asked, and they nodded. 'All righty, come on in.' She brought them into her office, but ignored the desk and sat with them on a comfortable couch instead. 'Okay, so you've addressed all of our concerns in your application, so that's fantastic, I just wanted to have a quick chat with you guys, and see if I can get to know you a little better, is that all right?'
'Go for it,' Dean smiled.
'You're Dean?' she asked. 'Did you always want kids?'
'Honestly, no,' Dean confessed. 'I never used to think I was parent material, you know?'
'So what changed your mind?'
'Uh well, Cas did,' Dean smiled. 'He got me out of my own head, and showed me how to think about things differently. He makes me feel like I can do anything, and that I have something to offer. And lots of other stuff as well, like my brother's kid, and I teach a lot now. I just think I could give a kid a good life.' Dean nodded as he finished and Amy smiled warmly.
'All right, and what about you, Castiel?'
Cas thought about his answer. 'It's a little more complicated for me,' he said, scratching Fries behind the ears. 'As you might know, we were involved in an accident that caused some amnesia. I lost a lot of who I was for a while. Even then though, I was interested in caring for children. I love the idea of watching them grow and change. I don't know whether or not this is something I always wanted, but it doesn't make a difference, I don't think. I'm sure that I want a child to love, and I want to give them the best shot in life. We have a great family, and I want more than anything for a child to experience being welcomed into it, as I have.'
Amy looked pleased. 'Your relationship then, solid? Stable?'
Dean picked up Cas's hand again. 'We did get married twice,' he said. 'There's no one I love more than him.'
'Really?'
Cas nodded. 'I fell for him twice. We're strong.' He fiddled with his wedding ring for a moment, rubbing it with his thumb.
Amy nodded. 'Amazing. Okay then, this is Jack.' She passed them a file, and Cas opened it.
There was a picture of a sweet looking little boy paper clipped into it.
'What happened to his biological parents?' Cas asked.
'His mother's name was Kelly,' said Amy. 'Unfortunately, she died in childbirth. She didn't have any family, and she never gave the name of his father, so Jack was left with us.'
Cas read through the file.
'Jack is six, he's getting great grades at school, he's polite to his teachers,' Amy said. 'He likes reading, and he does have a bit of a sweet tooth.'
'He seems great,' said Dean. 'How come he hasn't been adopted already?'
Amy hesitated. 'He can be... a little unnerving.'
Dean nudged Cas. 'That could work, you're unnerving all the time,' he laughed.
Cas rolled his eyes. 'What do you mean by that?' he asked.
'He stares a lot,' Amy said. 'He gets very quiet, and he can sneak up on you. A couple of foster families have noticed he likes to watch them while they sleep.'
'That's... interesting,' Dean said.
'It sounds like he might just be curious,' Cas reasoned. 'And perhaps doesn't know how to express it.'
'That's what we were thinking too,' Amy smiled. 'Are you ready to meet him?'
Cas nodded, and Amy led them out to a small playroom.
They hovered in the doorway for a while, watching the small boy inside play with some brightly coloured blocks.
'Go on,' Amy whispered, pushing Cas forward.
Cas walked in with Fries and sat next to Jack, and Dean followed not long after.
'Hello, Jack,' Cas said softly.
'Hi,' he said, smiling sweetly at them. 'Who are you?'
'My name's Cas, and this is Dean. How are you doing today?'
'I'm okay,' said Jack. 'These blocks are kinda boring though.'
'I can agree with that,' said Dean.
'Have you been waiting long?' Cas asked.
Jack shook his head. 'Not really.'
'That's good.'
Just then, Jack spotted Fries and his face lit up. 'Is that a dog?' he said, wide-eyed. He moved towards her, but Cas gently held him back.
'Hold on, Jack,' he said. 'You see her harness here? That means she's working. You should always ask permission to pet someone's dog if you don't know them, but especially if they're a working dog.'
Jack nodded thoughtfully. 'Can I please pet your dog?' he said politely.
Cas smiled and his heart melted. 'Yes you can, but only for a minute. Good job, Jack.'
Jack scratched Fries under the chin. 'What's her name?'
'Fries.'
'What's her job?'
Cas glanced at Dean, who shrugged. 'She helps me,' he said slowly. 'Have you ever seen a flickering lightbulb?'
Jack nodded.
'Well sometimes it's like that in my brain, and it makes me sick. Fries can tell when it's going to happen and she tells me, so I can lay down and get better. Does that make sense?'
'She's a good dog,' Jack said sagely.
'She is,' Cas agreed. 'What do you like to do?'
'Lots of things,' said Jack. 'I like watching cartoons mostly. I drew some pictures of the best ones, but I didn't get to bring them with me.'
'That's a shame. I'd like to see those.'
Jack suddenly turned to him excitedly. 'Do you know how to blow bubbles with gum? I learned how to do it yesterday,' he said proudly.
'That's really good, Jack.'
'Watch this, I'll show you how to build a really big tower.' Jack stood up and set about gathering all the blocks.
Dean leaned closer to Cas and whispered in his ear. 'What do you think?'
'I like him,' Cas whispered back. 'You?'
'I like him too.'
'Do we want him?'
Dean smiled, watching Jack begin his tower. 'Yeah, I think so.'
Cas's hands shook from excitement and nerves.
'Hey, Jack, how would you feel about having two dads?' Dean asked.
' Two dads?' Jack said enthusiastically. 'That would be so cool, that's like twice as many dads as everybody else has.'
Dean chuckled. 'That is pretty cool, but you wouldn't have a mom. That okay with you?'
Jack considered it, thinking hard with a block in his hand. 'Yeah,' he said eventually. 'I already had a mom once, and the social worker says she's still with me, so I don't think I really need another one.'
Cas's heart swelled.
'So, do I get to come and stay with you guys?'
'I think we can arrange that,' said Dean. 'If your social workers say it's okay. Do you want to come and stay with us?'
Jack nodded. 'I like your dog. I bet your house is cool.'
'Okay, we'll see what we can do,' Dean said warmly. He turned to Amy, who beamed at them.
'Jack, it's time to go now,' Amy said, holding out a hand to him.
'Aw, but I didn't get to finish my tower,' Jack complained.
'You can finish it another time, come on.'
'Okay,' he said. 'Goodbye Cas and Dean, it was nice to meet you.'
'It was lovely to meet you too, Jack,' said Cas.
'I'll meet you guys in my office,' Amy said, leading Jack from the room.
Dean grinned at Cas once she was gone. 'I think that went well.'
Cas nodded, having no words to express his feelings.
Dean grabbed his hand and pulled him back to Amy's office. 'I think I love him already,' Dean said, almost glowing.
'Me too.'
'He's just adorable.'
Cas opened his mouth, but then Amy came back in.
'How did we do?' Dean asked. 'Does he like us?'
'It went really well,' Amy said. 'It was a great start.'
'Awesome. So what happens now?'
'Jack is really into his routine, so what we're gonna do is we'll have you visit his foster home, get to know his schedule and things he likes a little better, and then we'll start transitioning over to your care. He'll come to stay for a little while at a time, then we'll have him move in for a few months. Provided everything goes well at the end of that period, then we can move forward with the legal adoption.'
Cas let out a breath. 'That's great,' he said, his voice cracking.
'I'll put you in touch with the foster parents, and we'll set up some time for you.'
At first, it was just dinner with Jack. He showed them his drawings, and they helped him with his homework. Soon, they stayed past dinner, and helped with his bedtime routine. Cas was nervous at first, but he wrote down everything in order, and carried the small notebook with him, so he wouldn't forget. One night, Jack asked Dean to read him a story.
'Maybe Cas ought to do that,' Dean said hesitantly. 'I can't really read all that well.'
'That's okay!' said Jack. 'Me neither. We can do it together, come on, Dean.'
Dean chuckled. 'Okay then.'
Cas watched them quietly, and kissed Dean lightly once Jack had fallen asleep.
Then they were given permission to pick Jack up from school and take him for some ice-cream. They went to the reception first to explain who they were, and waited for him there.
'Hi, Dean! Hi, Cas!' Jack shouted when he saw them, barrelling into Dean and almost knocking him over.
'Hey, kid,' Dean laughed.
Jack smiled at Cas and looked at Fries. 'Can I talk to Fries?' he asked, as he always did since Cas taught him about service dogs.
'Of course you can,' Cas said warmly.
'Hi, Fries!' Jack said, rubbing her face.
'You ready to go?' Dean asked.
'Yeah, let's go!'
'Not so fast!' Dean called as Jack sprinted from the school. 'Hold my hand in the parking lot, Jack,' he said as he caught up with Jack.
Cas chased after them, and caught up just as they reached the Impala.
'Is this your car?' Jack exclaimed, his jaw dropping.
'Yep,' said Dean, spinning the keys on his finger. 'Pretty cool, right?' He opened one of the doors and helped Jack into the booster seat they'd bought for him.
'Who's this one for?' Jack asked, pointing at a second booster seat next to him.
'Oh, that's for our niece Mary,' Cas said, putting Fries in the back with Jack. 'She likes to come on car trips with us sometimes.'
Fries licked Jack and he giggled.
After ice-cream, they took him back to his foster home.
'Can I come to your house after school tomorrow, please?' Jack begged, just as they were beginning their bedtime routine.
Dean looked to his foster mother.
'I don't see why not,' she said.
Jack jumped up and down excitedly, clapping his hands together.
'All right, all right. Come brush your teeth,' Dean said, nudging him towards the bathroom. 'Show me those pearly whites.'
Cas and Dean waited outside the bathroom for Jack to finish, and he came back out just in time to see them tenderly kissing. He gasped loudly. 'Are you guys in love?' he asked.
Dean cleared his throat, a little embarrassed that Jack had caught them. 'Yeah, we're married.'
' Really? I thought you were just two dads.'
Dean laughed. 'I think the kid's got some perception issues,' he muttered to Cas.
Jack didn't even have to ask Dean to read now, Dean just settled on the bed with Jack and they worked through their book together while Cas watched.
They were nervous about bringing him to their house for the first time, but Jack took to it immediately, throwing himself down on the grass in the garden, playing with Fries.
'Careful with Hoagie,' Cas told him when they met. 'He used to do Fries' job, but he's retired now. He's getting a little old.'
Jack nodded seriously. 'Nice to meet you, Hoagie. Thanks for taking care of my friend Cas.' He kissed Hoagie on the head, and Hoagie wagged his tail.
Cas had to leave the room for a moment, to keep from choking up.
Dean made them burgers from scratch for dinner, and they showed Jack where he would be sleeping.
'A bunkbed!' Jack exclaimed. 'I never had a bunkbed before! Which one do I sleep in?'
'Whichever one you want,' Dean smiled.
Jack threw himself onto the bottom bunk. 'Is the other one so Mary can come to stay?'
'You got it.'
'Will I get to meet her soon?'
Dean crouched next to the bed. 'Here's the thing about that,' he said gently. 'We gotta do everything the social workers think is best, and they say that it should be just us for now.'
'Why?'
'Well... they might decide that they can find a better home for you someplace else, and that's not a bad thing,' Dean added. 'We want you to find the best place you can get. I hope it's us though.'
'I hope it's you too,' Jack smiled.
Dean rubbed his eyes, then smacked his knee. 'You wanna watch a movie before bed?'
'Yes!' Jack ran back out to the living room.
'I'll meet you in there,' Cas murmured, catching Dean's arm. His head started to feel fuzzy.
'You sure? You gonna be okay?'
'It's fine. Fries and I have it covered.' Cas tried to smile, but he was getting dizzy. 'Go on, I'll be out in a little while.'
Fries barked at him, so they went into his and Dean's bedroom, closing the door behind him.
'Is Cas okay?' Jack asked, when only Dean appeared in the living room.
'He'll be fine, he's just not feeling great, that's all,' Dean said, sitting on the couch with him and Hoagie.
'Is it that brain flickering thing?'
Dean smiled. 'Yeah. It's actually called epilepsy, but don't worry. He'll be out in a little while.'
Cas didn't make it back out until Jack had fallen asleep on the couch, but Dean scooched over and made room for him.
Jack stirred and opened his eyes just a crack. 'Are you all better now?' he mumbled sleepily.
'Much better, thank you, Jack.'
Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder for the rest of the movie, and then they carried Jack to bed, tucking him in.
'You sure you're all right?' Dean asked, once they'd closed the bedroom door.
'I'm fine,' Cas smiled. 'I loved today.'
'Me too,' Dean grinned. 'I think we're doing a good job.'
'I think you're doing an excellent job,' Cas said, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist.
The time finally came for Jack to move in. All of his things were moved into the house, and they picked up on his routine. Cas taught him about the whiteboards and what they were for, and showed him how to paint. Dean told him all about his work, and the apprenticeship program he ran at the shop. He fit right in, but as their review date drew nearer and nearer, Dean and Cas got more nervous, though they did their best to hide it from Jack.
They dropped him off at school, then went to meet Amy at her office. This time she sat at her desk, with Jack's file in front of her.
'Take a seat, guys,' she said in a friendly tone.
Cas sat with his hands clasped in his lap, sitting straight up. Dean's leg bounced anxiously.
'So, let's just get right to it,' said Amy. 'We've looked at reports from Jack's teachers since he moved in with you, and we've had him talk to a couple of other social workers and child psychologists, and we're really impressed with his progress. If you're sure you still want to do this, then we're more than happy to complete the adoption.'
Dean released his breath and Cas put a hand over his mouth.
'You mean it?' said Cas, voice muffled by his fingers.
Amy smiled widely. 'Absolutely.'
'Oh,' was all Cas managed before he burst into tears.
'Thank you,' Dean said, shaking her hand vigorously. 'Thank you so much.'
'You're more than welcome. I'm so glad we found somewhere for Jack, he's such a special boy.'
'Oh, we agree.' Dean squeezed Cas's shoulders. 'Hey, don't cry,' he said, sniffling. 'We did it.'
Cas nodded, but couldn't control the tears.
Dean wiped his face. 'Um, do you - do you have any recommendations for when we can introduce him to some more family?' he asked.
'I don't see why you couldn't introduce him straight away.'
'Awesome,' said Dean. 'My brother is dying to meet him.'
'Fantastic. All right then, we've got an open court date next Wednesday, will that be all right for you both?'
'Perfect,' said Dean. 'Thank you again.'
They both shook her hand again, and left the office with huge smiles on their faces. They stopped next to the car, just to catch their breath.
'We have a son,' Cas said. 'We have a son.'
'We do.' Dean leaned against the car for a minute. 'Let's go get him.'
Dean called Sam on the way to the school and gave him the good news, and they waited excitedly for Jack to climb into the car.
'Hey, Jack, guess what,' Dean said, watching Jack strap himself in through the rearview mirror.
'What?'
'They're gonna let you stay with us,' Dean grinned.
'You mean forever?'
'As long as you want.' Dean reached back and gave him a high-five. 'Do you want to meet some more of your family?'
Jack nodded enthusiastically.
'Awesome, 'cause we're having them over for dinner.'
Jack helped Dean cook some mac and cheese, and Sam arrived with Jess and Mary in tow.
'Whoa, you're so tall!' Jack said when he saw Sam.
Sam laughed. 'You must be Jack. I'm Dean's brother Sam.'
'Oh okay, so you'll be my uncle.'
'That's right.'
Just then Mary barged in, hands on her hips. 'I haven't seen you guys in ages,' she said angrily.
'Mary, I told you-' Sam began.
'Are you Mary?' Jack asked eagerly.
Mary looked at him in confusion. 'Yeah, who are you?'
'My name's Jack,' he said, and gave her a big hug. 'I'm your new cousin.'
'Well that's adorable,' said Sam. 'Congratulations, man.' Sam slapped Dean on the back. 'When are you getting it finalised?'
'Next Wednesday.'
'Mary, come here a minute,' Cas said, beckoning her into the dining room.
'I missed you, Uncle Cas,' she said, climbing onto his lap.
'I'm sorry, I thought your dad told you what was going on.'
'Well, he kinda did, but I wasn't really listening.'
Cas laughed at her. 'Let me just tell you that even though Dean and I have Jack now, we still love you very much, and you can come visit us as much as you want. You're still my little angel, okay?'
'Okay,' Mary smiled.
'What do you think of Jack?' Cas asked quietly.
'He's nice. Will he come to my school?'
'We haven't decided that yet,' said Cas. 'We don't want to move him around too much.'
Just then, Jack appeared in the doorway. 'Dean says we're going to eat in the garden, since there are so many of us, can you please help me with the picnic blanket?'
'Of course. Do you want to come too, Mary?'
Mary nodded, and the three of them set up to eat in the garden.
Sam, Dean and Jess came out with the food, and they all sat down to eat.
'What do you think of our family, Cas?' Dean murmured in his ear, later on when Mary and Jack were playing with the dogs, and Sam was feeding food to Jess from his fork, laughing when he dropped it on her lap.
'It's perfect.'