Halloween a few days later was like many Halloweens before. Anticipation was the main thing buzzing among the students. Every house had their party in the common room but Sirius was sure Gryffindors would be the best. Between the fire-whiskey and various other alcohol, the Honeyduke's sweets and copious amounts of food that he managed to get from the house elves. It was going to be a good party where everyone got bombed-out and people were left with awful hangovers come the next morning.
Ella could hardly say she was excited. She had two ways that she saw the night playing out. She barely touched any alcohol and instead had to watch her friends have fun while she stayed relatively sober. Or option two, the worse option, she got tanked and spilt her guts to James or someone else. Meaning that she lost her best friend rather than just watching him flirt with a girl he was hopelessly in love with.
After considering it, Ella decided to try and get tipsy but not drunk. Though the line was incredibly fine for Ella due to her tolerance level. Two drinks and she was gone so she had set one at her limit. It would hopefully leave her slightly tipsy but not completely bombed-out to the point where she confessed something she shouldn't have.
So, once the feast was over and everything had ended, the students all headed back to their dorms. Most of the first, second, third and fourth year went upstairs to have their own celebrations. A mix of seventh, sixth and fifth years were the ones left downstairs. Sirius grinning as their party quickly got into full swing.
The alcohol brought out pretty quickly which is when Ella got herself her first drink. The only drink that she would have as she sat down on the sofa. Some others sat next to her but she ignored their presence as she looked around the room. James was talking to the boys. Layla and Lily talking amongst themselves as music played in the background. Mostly just people talking.
However, as time went on, a lot more people began to drink. Half of the alcohol gone within the first hour of the party. The music seemed to get louder and everyone was dancing except a group of people who were playing truth or dare. A game that Ella got dragged into by James and Remus. So, she was now sat across from the boys and a few other people that she vaguely recognised but couldn't pin a name to. Marlene was there at least.
"I don't want to drink more than this," Ella said as they were deciding who to go for. Sirius smirked at that and looked up at her. He then leant over and grabbed the bottle of fire-whiskey, pouring some into her glass despite her words.
"You have to drink if you don't want to answer or do the dare," Sirius shrugged and Ella gave him a playful glare. Her gaze falling onto James who already seemed pretty out of it. He was running his mouth to the boy sat next to him that she realised was someone from her potions class. Before she could get a chance to say anything, Remus spoke up.
"I think Ella should go first and I already have a question," Remus said. His words relatively clear and unslurred. He hadn't had as much as his friends it seemed. His glass of fire-whiskey only have drunk as he looked at her. The 'go for it' from Ella was the nail in the coffin of her soberness.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth,"
"Where did you get those marks on your neck? And you can't lie to me this time." Remus said, staring her down. Trying to just get her to give in. He knew that she had been lying about where they are from for the past two days. He just wanted to see if he could get it out of her. Hoping that her want to stay sober would be strong enough to prevent her choosing drinking over the answer.
"Nice try, Lupin," Ella said, taking a long swig. Sirius cheering her on and she ended up downing the whole glass. Wiping the excess that had dribbled onto her chin. She then placed it down on the floor and James was watching her, his head tilted a little.
"Now that is the Ella I like to see," Sirius grinned, his words slurring slightly as he leant over and refilled her class. Ella shrugged in response and the game continued. As the game went on, Ella had drunk far too much fire-whiskey for her taste and she had to tap out when it came too hard to think straight about the various answers given.
Ella pushed herself to stand up and stumbled slightly, giggling before she walked over to Lily and Layla. The pair of them draped over each other as they talked amongst themselves. Ella plopped herself next to them, disturbing their conversation. Layla looking to her friend with a raised eyebrow. Ella had not been this drunk in too long.
"How was the game?" Layla asked, cocking an eyebrow with a teasing smile on her lips. Ella rolled her eyes and showed her empty glass before she placed it down on the side table. Leaning across both of them to do so.
"S'was fine. Sirius 'n' Remus are... tosspots," Ella said, her northern roots coming back to her as she looked up at the pair. Lily endlessly amused by how strong her Mancunian accent seemed to come out as she leant back against the sofa. Her arms draping over her eyes.
"How many drinks have y'had?" Layla asked as she rested his cheek against the top of Lily's head. The redhead continued to hold onto Layla's hand, smiling to herself as they watched their incredibly drunk friend.
"Fo- Five?" Ella muttered, unsure herself even. So she lifted her head up and shouted Sirius names. Her words tired and not nearly loud enough but the boy seemed to realise. His head turning to her, cocking an eyebrow "How-many?" she asked, referencing the fire whiskey with a wide arm. Sirius chuckled and held up his fingers to show at least six. Far too much for the girl, "'ead 'urts," Ella whined as she wrapped her arms around herself. Layla chuckled and then went to move away from Lily before Remus appeared.
"I'll help her upstairs," Remus said as he pulled Ella up from the couch. The brunette letting out a groan as she whacked his chest. Remus gently shook his head. Layla giving him a thankful smile before he wrapped an arm around her waist. Walking with him up the stairs. Nearly falling far too many times for her liking.
As Remus held her, all she could think about was how nice it would be if that was James rather than him. She wanted to see his adorable smile but he was far too enraptured with Lily to even consider her an option. Once they were in the room, Ella stumbled to the bed and collapsed face first onto it. Her hand resting on the mattress before she rolled over.
"Everything alright?" Remus asked, kicking the door closed. A slightly amused look on his face as he watched Ella with a pout on her lips. The brunette then sat up, her frown becoming more prominent and her eyes filling with tears. Her ability to conceal feelings had long since vanished. Her walls had gone when she downed her fourth drink.
"No, s'been a bummer night. S'been shit! I hate it!" Ella said, talking a little too loudly for what she was about to confess to the boy. He looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows before approaching her. Sitting cautiously next to her. Ella rested her head on his shoulder, the tears beginning to fall down her cheeks as her hands rested in her lap, "S'not fair..." She muttered before she let out a soft sob. Her whole body shaking with the action.
"What's not fair?" He asked softly. Remus already knew exactly what she was going to say but he wanted her to say it. To admit it. He already knew, the marks on both of them was no coincidence and them appearing frequently together on the Marauders Map was not a coincidence either. Something was going on.
"S'James. He's not wiv me," Ella said between another soft sob. She pulled her face away and quickly scrubbed her cheeks. Her arms wrapping around her head as she leant forward to try and put her head in her lap, "Stupid Lily..." Ella muttered. Remus just looked at her for a moment. Unsure what to respond to her. He'd assumed they were hooking up but not this.
"Are you hooking-up with James?" Remus asked. Ella nodded and lifted her head up. The tears falling from her cheeks as her breathe hitched. Her fingers running through her messy hair as she let out a soft broken sob.
"Yes. S'been going on for months." Ella muttered and Remus nodded. He knew that much, "How'd y'know?" She asked as she tilted her head, looking up at him.
"A few things. I mean, you both left hickeys this past week and his may have been on his chest but he sleeps shirtless. You're not being subtle. I saw you with his glasses and then he had lost them. The map too, I kept seeing you two together when I was trying to find James after prefect duty was done. Oh and you always smell like each other." Remus said. His last observation making Ella raise an eyebrow. Her head lifting to look at him. "My werewolf sense of smell makes it easier to pick up scents of humans. Like usually you just smell of a bunch of people but today, a few days and at the start of term, it was overwhelming that you smelt like each other." Remus explained. His words not quite comprehending in her head. Her brain was far too mushed from the fire-whiskey for it to even make sense in her head.
"S'weird you're smelling us," Ella muttered as she moved to lie down. Remus chuckled at her words, noticing how the tears had dried up at his explanation, "S'just, he's amazing. S'like I can't get him outta my head. I hate it but I love 'im so much," Ella said. Her eyes staring up at the ceiling. Remus watching the girl as she unravelled in front of him.
"And what about telling him?" Remus asked. That made Ella's head shoot up, shaking her head profusely. A soft huff escaping her lips. She did not want to admit to James, it would ruin everything all over again.
"No, s'not an option. We agreed no emotions," Ella said as she moved to sit up. A soft sigh escaping her lips as she realised the situation she was in all over again, "'e just wants to be fucked and s'nothing more than that. He's waiting for Lily to say yeah... I'm standin'-in," Ella continued. Her eyes filling with tears as she gripped her hair, trying to stop a sob escaping her lips, "'e's so funny and sweet. 'is smile brightens my day and s'impossible to stop thinking about 'im. S'got me 'ooked, Remus. I bloody hate it," She said. The tears beginning to fall again now as she just thought about him. It's all she could think about. Her rambling only continuing as Remus listened patiently. Listened until her sobs drowned out words.
It was then that he got up and filled up a glass with water from the metal jug in the room. He then walked over to her, sitting down next to her. He gave it to her and she reluctantly took it, taking small sips as he calmed her down.
"You need to sleep, Ella. We can talk in the morning," Remus said softly. Stroking her hair as she took another sip of water. Ella nodded and then she got under the covers of her bed. She didn't bother to change, she didn't have the energy to do so. Remus took the glass from her and placed it on the bedside table. He then tucked her into bed, "Goodnight," He said. Ella let out a soft sigh, nodding her head before he walked off out of the door. Ella's eyes closing and finding sleep came to her easily as Molly jumped up from under the bed to snuggle up to her owner.
***
Ella had been avoiding Remus since the party and had successfully evaded him until they had Muggle Studies together. She didn't know how she supposed to react as she sat next to him. He knew her fatal flaw, her secret that she had been so desperate to keep between her and Layla. He was aware and she didn't know what to even do anymore. She didn't know if that changed anything and she regretted getting as drunk as she did.
But they had spent most of the class just discussing the subject, the normal jobs that many muggles had. From electricians to doctors to deep-sea divers. It was interesting to Ella how they did so much but they didn't have any magic. Also, the muggles were in some ways more advanced than the wizarding world which Ella also found very strange.
After a while, however, Remus was done with asking about the school work. He needed to talk to her about the things that mattered. About her and James. About her feelings. She knew the questioning was coming. She'd been anticipating it since they sat down next to each other and when he finally said it, she almost felt relieved.
"How much do you remember of the Hallowe'en party?" He asked. Ella sighed and let her hand continue to make notes before she placed her quill down. Looking at him, the teacher had set them off on a task so most of the class was already talking. Hopefully that meant their conversation would be mostly drowned out by the people around them.
"All of it. S'not like I was black out drunk. I remember what I said. I only booked when I saw you because I don't want to talk about this," Ella said quickly. Making her stance very clear on the situation. Waving her hand dismissively to emphasise her point. Remus looked at her and sighed softly. He then opened his text book to find the answers for the sheet.
"Why do you not want to talk about it?" He asked as he looked over at her. Ella's head tilted back down as she continued to scribble with her quill. Her work getting slightly inky and messy due to her not letting it dry until she began to scribble again, "It's clearly eating you up inside." Remus said as he looked over at her. His voice staying quiet before Ella sighed. She unintentionally slammed her quill against the desk, sitting up to look at him properly.
"You know nothin' about it, Remus. You've speculated, that's it. Nothin' more. You don't have a clue about any of it," Ella responded quickly. Her hand pressed against her thigh before she turned around to take a deep breath. She didn't want to lash out at Remus. He didn't deserve it but she was so sick of people telling her what to do. They were content. James had no reason to know about anything. He was content with living unaware.
"I've done a lot more than speculated, Ella. Look at you. Look at how you're acting. This isn't you. You're blunt, honest, you don't lie and hide your feelings from your friends. You're brave and stand up for what you want. I can see what this has done to you," Remus snapped back. Losing his cool with the girl. Ella scoffing and shook her head, flicking through her book a little aggressively. She hated how he was right but it wasn't like she never hid her feelings from them before.
"All it's done to me is make me cautious 'bout what I say. We had an agreement when we started what we 'ave. No feelings, communication and just do what we wanted. Yeah, I 'ave feelings but he doesn't know that and he doesn't need to know. Lily will accept him any day now." Ella said. Grabbing her quill and dipping it in the ink before she went back to writing. However, she ended up snapping the nib of her quill due to her aggressiveness.
"And that will break you." Remus muttered as he watched her switch out quills. Her face scrunched up in annoyance as she let her free hand balled into a fist.
"I'd rather be broken by 'is happiness than 'is rejection," Ella responded as she placed her quill down. She took a long deep breath, feeling the tightening in her heart. The thought of losing James at all made her want to cry or throw up. Talking about it was making it even worse, "Layla's been tryin' for weeks to get me to say somethin'. I haven't yet," Ella said, glancing over at him. Remus sighed and then went back to his writing. Unsure where to even go with this. He knew she had to tell James at some point. He didn't want to be the one to do it though. It was between Ella and James, not him.
"He deserves to know and you know he does," Remus muttered and Ella rolled her eyes. She was then done with her work for the lesson. Her hands roughly grabbed everything she seemed and stuffed them into her satchel before she stood up. She walked to the teacher and handed in her sheet just as the bell sounded for the next lesson. Ella quick to leave the classroom while everyone finished packing up after the lesson.
She slid out of the classroom. Not even saying goodbye to Remus before running right into the last boy she had expected to see. James, with a smile on his face. His satchel was pulled over his shoulder as he looked down at her. His grin only widened when he saw her.
"Alright, speedster. What's going on with you?" He asked as he began to walk by her side. Ella feeling a little better now she had the curly-haired boy at her side. His presence just made her feel better. It made her feel a whole lot lighter than how she had while she was in Muggle Studies. Remus' presence felt suffocating but not anymore. It was okay. She would be okay now that she had James with her.
"I was just tryin' to get out of class." Ella shrugged, playing off her speed-walking as just her want to leave. James cocked an eyebrow at that but when she just shrugged, he didn't bother questioning it anymore. The pair of them moving through the corridors and heading towards the charms corridor. Her next lesson with Layla. No doubt she was going to get even more attempts to convince her to tell James, something she had been stubborn on so far.
"Oh look it's the half-wit and the blood traitor," A voice caused Ella to pause. James looked down at Ella and watched her face contort into annoyance. Her hands clenching at her sides before she turned to face Severus and his group of pure-blood Slytherin 'friends'.
"Still looking out for daddy to come home, Woods?" He asked as she glared at him. However, his taunts were quickly expanded on by one of the girls. A smirk on her face as she let her perfectly manicured hand rest against her wand.
"Crying by your window every night. No wonder your mother never shows her face. That pure-blood slept with a muggle. I'd hide it from the rest of the wizarding world too. You're an embarrassment," She spat and Ella glared. Debating what to do what to say. She knew that she couldn't let her accent show. Not to them. It would only add something else to pick on.
"At least I'm not some pure-blood supremacist who's head is so far up their own arse that they can't see the world for what it is," Ella responded, glaring at the group before she turned around to walk away. Her words were all slightly over-enunciated in attempt to remove her accent from what she said. They noticed, over course. So, before she could even take a step, Severus decided to pipe up again. Clearly they were hoping to be jinxed.
"Even little Ella is embarrassed of her roots. Won't even speak with her own accent? What a pathetic little half-blood. Maybe we should teach her a lesson," He sneered and Ella turned to around to face him. Pulling out her wand as she huffed.
"At least I'm not following Lily around like a lost puppy! And I can think for myself. Something that none of you dim-witted supremacists can do!" Ella said, her anger quickly boiling over. She was ready to let this get physical. Her annoyance at Remus only fuelling the fire in her belly. The fire that told her to hex one of their big mouths.
However before she even had the chance and had even comprehended what Snape had begun to say, James had jinxed the boy. His tongue being quite literally tied leaving him completely unable to speak. Ella turned to look at James, noting the furious on his face before she grabbed onto his hand, pulling him away from them. The Slytherins scrambling to help Severus as Ella dragged James away from them.
She appreciated the gesture but she knew she could handle them herself. He was also the Head boy now and more acts like that would quickly make him lose that title that he had gained. As they walked down the corridor, she eventually found an empty corridor and shoved him into an alcove, looking up at him. The annoyance evident on her face.
"What was that?" She asked, a slight aggressiveness to her tone as she let her hands rest against his chest. Her eyes moving to look around hoping that no teacher spotted them. She didn't want him to get any trouble because of her. It was not his place.
"He was being a wanker. Somebody needed to put him in his place," James said defensively, "And he was hurting your feelings. You weren't doing a thing. Someone had to stop him," James continued. Not wanting Ella to be so angry with him. He was only trying to help her. Ella shook her head and stepped back, rubbing her face with her hands. Her face flushed from anger and her hands went into her pockets to hide how much they were shaking.
"I don't care 'ow much of a wanker Severus is bein'. You leave 'im alone. I can fight my own battles James. You know that. He's a wanker but I'm not gonna jinx 'im. The more we react, the worse it'll get. I'd rather just take 'im down on my own. He thinks I'm a pathetic half-blood as it is, I don't need protection from you of all people. And you're the bloody Head Boy! This is not a good example to set and you know that," Ella responded. Her gaze turning to James face. Watching for his reaction, waiting for him to make some sort of rebuttal. Instead, he stood in resignation for a moment before he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Okay. I'm sorry, El. I just don't like seeing how they act around you. You're not a half-blood, not that it even matters if you were though." James said, throwing his hand out as he looked at her. Ella sighed and shrugged. She didn't care whether she was a half-blood or not. If he considered that to be good or bad. Blood status meant nothing to her.
"I don't care what they say. Let 'em be wankers. It'll bite 'em in the arse one day. What you say. What Remus says, what Layla says, what Sirius says. That's what matters to me. Not them. Alright?" Ella said, looking up into his eyes. James sighed and nodded his head. He knew he was being how he was in first year. Acting before he thought. Hurting people when it was unnecesary and cruel. He wanted to grow and not be like that boy again. Ella was keeping him on track at least.
"I'm sorry. I just saw red," He admitted softly. Ella sighed before smiling at him. She knew the feeling and rather than continuing to ridicule him. She just gestured for him to go so they could walk to class. Ella hadn't been showing many Gryffindor qualities the past few days but she knew where she stood. She knew when she needed to be brave and speak up. With James she had to do that. Determined to make him a better person and make him realise that what he was doing was wrong. He eventually learnt and her honesty in that moment makes him realise it was wrong.
So, as the two of them walked together, he couldn't help but admire her a little. Ella never believed she really belonged in Gryffindor. None of her traits leaning her into one specific house. She only ended up the lion house due to her family connection and her attachment to James. The sorting hat had allowed her to pick that house and here she was. But she felt like she was constantly failing to live up to any sort of expectations. James thought otherwise but never thought she needed to hear it.
So as they walked together, they began to talk. They were quiet conversations about class and the possibility of meeting up at some point. The two eventually split off when they reached the Charms corridor. Ella needed to get to class and just somehow manage to get through it. Seeing James had given her a small boost so she was sure that she'd be fine.
***
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! so... drama :) AND PROTECTIVE JAMES IS HERE!! also remus is being the caring friend and we love it honestly, ella and remus' friendships lowkey give me lifeeee and i love it. also some cruelty from severus which is part of my explanation of why james is such a dick to him and stuff, james is just protective af over ella and i love it. also i've put some more graphics in the gallery so feel free to check them out :) anyway, i hope you enjoyed her <3