It was the first week of your second trimester and you had finally gotten over your morning sickness. Hotch had you work from home just make sure you knew you were ready to go back to work. It had been annoying doing consults over the phone but today was your first day back. Your bump had grown and it was clearly visible that you were pregnant. It wasn't as huge as it was going to be soon but most of your shirts stopped covering the bump and you began to struggle to find clothes that didn't show the bottom lining of your belly. You made it work out with the clothes you had. The idea of calling Spencer's mom popped up in your head but JJ had told you that it wasn't the best time. She was getting worse. She told you to wait but it killed you that you couldn't at least tell her you were pregnant.
...
Your hand longed for his touch. It was a habit of yours to reach for Spencer's hand in the elevator. The last time you were in the elevator you were telling Spencer that you were going to find Cat. Now it felt like a piece of you was missing. You had started to move on and tried to call the team more often and have them over. But it was hard. Your heart ached every time you remembered that you were never going to see him again. The elevator doors dinged and you stepped out. Before you went to go see everyone else you walked down the hallway. There it was. Spencer's picture surrounded by even more pictures of fallen agents. Never in a million years did you imagine Spencer's picture would sit on this wall. You took a deep breath in and walked towards the glass doors. Before you could enter the bullpen you heard your name being called. You turned your head and saw Penelope.
"Penny hey" you began walking in her direction
"You're finally here. I was terrified that you weren't coming back" she pulled you into a tight hug
"Ow pen my boobs" you pulled away. You loved her hugs but your body began to go through more and more changes. Sore boobs was one of the dreadful ones
"I'm so sorry, how's my future rain of sunshine" she smiled
"This little pumpkin is perfect. Always sitting on my bladder but perfect" you smiled
"Y/n?" it was Derek's voice
"Morgan hey"
"You're back" he smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. You wanted to pull away but you would rather not explain the sore boobs
"Yes I am"
He pulled away. His hands were resting on your shoulder's and he looked down. He put his arms to the side. One of his hands began hovering over your stomach. He looked back up at you. "Can I?"
You smiled and nodded. He gently ran his hand over your bump. He began to speak at your tummy.
"Hey little one, my name is Derek. I was your dad's best friend" he admired your belly
"You want one?" you asked him
He quickly looked up and had the most frightened look on his face. "No way"
"Maybe you will find a lady who will change your mind one day" you giggled
"Oh sugar don't look so scared" Penelope laughed
"Well time to get to work" you sighed "Derek I was kidding, jeez get that look off of your face" you patted his shoulder and made your way
You opened the glass door and made your way to your desk. You noticed that Spencer's desk had been cleared. It felt strange. Like you were in another world. Only weeks ago you could see him sitting on the other side of the room reading a book or writing a report. Now it was only going to be a memory. You were snatched away from your thoughts when Hotch and Rossi stepped out of Hotch's office.
"Y/n you're here" Rossi walked over to you and gave you a hug
"Hey Dave"
"Y/n I told you to not come back so soon" Hotch kept a straight face
"Hotch will you quit it. This job will keep me sane. I can't just sit at home drowning in my emotions of what could have been. I need to live in the present." you crossed your arms over your chest
"Fine" he sighed "Do you have your go bag? We have a case"
"Of course I do" you smiled
Ready to start living again. Or at least try.
...
You greeted the rest of the team on the plane. JJ and Emily were happy that you joined again. You began to look over the file and realized you were going to a prison.
Your leg bounced up and down as you sat in a small station with a divider waiting for Spencer. The same words kept repeating over and over in your head. 'Bail is denied'. You couldn't help but blame yourself for not realizing that Spencer was having trouble with his mom. You looked up and saw a guard with a line of inmates coming in. You saw Spencer trailing behind and you got up he began to walk towards you.
"Hey"
"Hey"
Both of you reached for each other but before you could wrap your arms around him all you heard was "No touching"
You frowned and looked back at Spencer sitting down.
"Is everything okay? It's not my mom is it?" he questioned
"No she's fine. I saw her yesterday. She asked about you. Cassie said she was having a really good day." You gave him a reassuring look
"Where did you, uh-- tell her where I was?" his face was full of shame
"The beach." you sighed "Well she asked if that's where you were and it seemed to make her happy so I said yes" you smiled
"Good. ok" his face was relaxed now
Tears wanted to fall from your eyes. "How are you doing"
"I'm ok. I-- I uh-- I'm really happy to see you" you could see the pain in his face. His voice was low and shaky "I just wish you hadn't come. It's not a good idea"
"Sorry. You're stuck with me. Penelope was supposed to come but a case came up and they needed her. So I offered" you smiled
"A case? Y/n you shouldn't be here"
"The last time I saw you. I promised you would not be alone. I am just trying to keep up the best way I can. Remember months ago when I came to your apartment and told you I'm right here"
"Yeah"
"I meant it. I'm right here" you wanted to reach for his hand
"Okay" he smiled "What's the case?"
"What?" you furrowed your brows
"The case. I'm assuming you stayed behind unless it's local. Is it local?"
"No. New York. I mean do you really want to hear this?"
"Yeah. I'd love something to think about besides you know... this" he nodded and the shine in his eyes had returned
You were willing to do anything to make Spencer the slightest bit happy. Both of you had continued to talk about the case and threw theories at each other. You kept them in mind to follow up with Hotch later. The conversation dialed down and both of you just stared at each other. There was regret in his eyes. You knew that he could see the regret in yours. It was frightening not knowing if Spencer was going to ever leave this place. A future that could have been would be ripped from you if the team couldn't find the real unsub.
Your snapped back to reality when you saw an inmate looking at you. More towards your chest. You sat up and lifted your shirt just a bit. Clearly your throat
"I'd love to get a piece of that, huh?"
You saw Spencer looking behind him. Trying to find whoever said it
"It's okay"
"Hm?" he turned to look at you again
"It's not my first time getting called out like that" you dropped your head a little before lifting it back up to look at Spencer "I can handle it"
"Y/n.. I don't want them looking at you" he was getting frustrated
"I know. I don't either but if that's the price I have to pay to see you then I don't care"
You began to talk to him about the full toxicology report from Mexico. And told him about the results.
"I'm never getting out of here" he became more agitated and clenched his fists together "Scratch is going to get away with this"
"Spence look at me" you tried reaching for his hand but quickly pulled away
"He's going to get away with it."
"Spencer look at me" he paused and relaxed
"I promise you that we are going to get you out of here. I swear that I will drop dead before I let you spend the rest of your life in here. But for now can you please focus on yourself and keep your head down. Stay safe and alive for me please" a tear strolled down your cheek
"I will" he nodded his head and tried to keep a smile on his face
You wiped your tear away and pulled out a drawing from your pocket.
"Um JJ told me to show you this." You unfolded it and turned it around
"What is it?"
"Henry drew it for you. It's the day you took him to the park" you smiled
"Make sure he knows that I love it" he tried to hold back the tears that were painfully trying to leave his eyes
"I think you would make a great father one day" you smiled "The way JJ's boys look up at you is amazing"
"If I ever get out of here"
"Spence" you frowned
"I know... sorry"
"It's okay"
"Visiting hours are over. Inmates line up" the guard shouted
Spencer rose and turned to walk away.
"Spencer" you called out
He looked back at you
"Stay safe" you said almost at a whisper
He nodded and gave you a small smile before walking away. Once he was gone tears began to flow down your face. You dropped your head into your hands.
"Y/n?" JJ waver her hand in your face
"Yes sorry... Let's see" you began to look over the file "Officers Keith Rivers and Rudy Hightower both career prison guards, both married, kids, nothing out of the ordinary"
You tucked your hair behind your ear. "Um the uniforms itself could be the target. Killing any guard doesn't matter which one and the sock in the mouth could be some kind of warning to keep quiet or it was a gag to literally keep the victims quiet."
"We could be looking at multiple unsubs. This would be very difficult to pull off on their own." Hotch added on
You listen to the team's conversation and added your own thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder what random statistic Spencer would have thrown in by now. You placed your hand on your belly and rubbed circles out of habit.
...
You stepped out of the SUV and introductions were made with the Warden and another guard. Everyone stepped through the doors.
"Gun lockers for your weapons and ammo are right here." he pointed to a set of lockers and papers to sign
You bent over lifting up your pants leg. You removed your gun from the holster.
"Seriously" Hotch furrowed his brows
You stood up "What?"
"You are pregnant" he sighed
"No way I had no clue" you placed the gun into the locker and locked it with a key before walking over to the sheet of paper
"You shouldn't be carrying a gun" Derek locked his box and made his way in front of you. Blocking you from entering the facility
"You came back to work too early I should've left you with Garcia" he crossed his arms over his chest
"So when can I be here? Would you like me to sit in the SUV all day? I know that I am not going to be out in the field but I am going to interview people and help build profiles. I know you want to do Spencer the honor of being protective and everything but he's not here. He's dead. Now I'm on my own and need to make a living to support my child. I can't really afford anything if I sit on my ass all day and wallow in my tears. So get the hell out of my way." you were tired of getting treated like a lost puppy. At first you liked the gesture but now it was suffocating you. You saw them looking at you like you were broken. At first you thought you were but you had something to live for. A piece of Spencer was going to be with you for the rest of your life.
"Fine" you scoffed and took a few steps closer to them. You pushed their shoulders back and walked through the doorway.
"I think they are just trying to do what's best" JJ pointed out
"It's true" Hotch began walking behind you
You stopped in your tracks and turned back around.
"Are you kidding me? Do what's best? When Penelope got shot she had to stay in the hospital to recover but you let her leave and she almost tore her stiches. When Will was shot JJ was way too close to the case but you still let her out into the field. Aaron you literally went back to work a week after Hayley's funeral. God damn it you let Spencer struggle with his addiction alone. He was dying inside. He didn't open up to anyone until I came. Can you imagine that eating at him for all those years. So let me do my job. You clearly have no idea what's best for anyone." you didn't realize that you were yelling at this point. Everyone was still looking at you the same way. Which infuriated you more. You cleared your throat and lowered your tone. "We should get back to work unless you guys still want to stare at me like I'm broken"
...
As the case moved along everyone had figured that the guards were behind the killings. They were betting money on fight clubs in the prison and burning the bodies of the inmates that died. Hotch sent you and Morgan to interview one of the guards.
"You know we are just trying to protect you" Derek turned to face you as he walked
"Whatever" you sighed and kept your head forward. Both of you were walking past the metal bars and making your way into a room
Your heart was beating out of your chest. The guard led you through rooms that were separated by bars until you reached a room. Spencer was finally being released and you were going to be on the one to tell him. He was facing the wall but once he heard the door open it looked like he had seen a ghost. But once he saw you he relaxed. You took a deep breath
"Guess what" you smiled "We're taking you home"
His breath hitched and he walked towards you. He wrapped his arms around you and you wrapped yours around him. His grip around you tightened and he buried his head in the crook of your neck. A tear rolled down your cheek.
"I told you we were going to get you out of here" you pulled him even closer
He pulled away and caressed your cheek. Wiping the tear away.
"I really missed you" he smiled softly
"I missed you too"
"While being here I was regretted not doing something"
"What's that"
"This" he moved in closer and pulled you into him. His lips crashed into yours. Lips colliding you melted into the kiss. You wrapped your hands around his neck. You could feel his smile pressing against yours. It was slow and sweet. You pulled away and smiled. He had the biggest smile you had seen in a long time.
"Come on. Let's go find your mom"
"So is it okay if I call you Tom" you asked one of the many guards as you sat down
"Yes" he looked like he was holding something back. But he wanted to say it but couldn't
After much discussion and convincing he began telling the truth. The other guards were involved and were incinerating the bodies of their fighters.
"How was Randall Jones involved?" Derek began to ask
"Jones, their lap dog, he'd help them out, round up guys, get them information. Whatever they needed"
You heard keys jangling and large footsteps. It was strange unless that was some of the team members coming but there was no reason for them to check on you and Morgan. You turned your head and saw that the inmates had the keys. They were unlocking the cell.
Oh shit