Mia and I stood there in the cafeteria, each of us holding our tray of food, looking scared shitless. Pat and Leon exchanged a look before the former sent as an encouraging smile, "Good luck you two."
Alright, at the end of the day, we just wanted to be civil with our former best friend. We have slowly accepted that we might never go back to the way things were, but we wanted to at least be in the same room without feeling like there was a ticking time bomb.
As the days progressed, especially after the party, Sasha has completely disassociated herself from our group. She joined another group of friends, some other girls from our class, so that was when we got the signal that she no longer wanted anything to do with us.
So Mia and I decided to have one final talk with her.
Some part of us should have been shy with approaching her, but nope. I think bashfulness and shame was thrown out of the window when she confronted us in front of the entire soccer team and everybody who watched their training.
"Sasha, can we talk?" Mia straight up asked after we approached their table.
Everyone who was sitting there looked up towards us before switching their gazes to the said girl.
I think the gears were turning in her head because instead of immediately answering or proceeding to ignore us, she blinked multiple times as if we would disappear on our own.
Sorry, but we were here to stay.
Although I would be lying if I said that I wasn't five seconds away from turning on my heel and rushing back to our own lunch table.
But Mia looked so determined that I felt some sort of confidence being injected into me.
And after what felt like literal forever, she answered, "Okay."
She stood up after sending a silent excuse to her new group. She stared at us, waiting for us to lead the way.
Honestly, I didn't thought we would get this far.
"Please get your tray and let's sit over there," Mia then told her and miraculously, she did what she was told.
Alright, so far so good.
"So where did we go wrong, Sasha?"
Mia was in a very blunt mood today because this whole time, I've only been silent and letting her take the reins. This was good since she was the more straightforward one and if I was to take over, we were going to go nowhere. Besides, we all know I wasn't really good at confrontation.
But I figured something out when I returned back to the original timeline where I came from – I missed having Sasha by my side. It would totally suck I we never get to repair this friendship but at this point, I would gobble up any sliver of acquaintanceship that she would offer.
"I would just like to preface this by saying that this was completely my fault," she said and my eyebrows shot up at this because if you remember her little tirade, she was pointing fingers at us for being "better" than her, "But as I thought about it more, it would be healthier for all three of us if I removed myself from the picture."
Mia's scrutinizing gaze sharpened, her eyes squinting as if she was scanning the girl sitting across from her. When a minute ticked by, I started to carefully take a bite of my sandwich just as a way to occupy my hands to stop them from fidgeting. Somehow, this was the moment that she decided to talk.
And let me tell you, I almost choked.
"You like Pat, don't you?"
Yup, blunt.
"Mia!" I exclaimed, finally speaking for the first time. I took a couple of gulps from my water bottle before turning to her again, "What are you on about?"
Where the hell did she pull that out of?
And I was fully expecting Sasha to deny it but to my shock, she only sighed, "How long have you known?"
Excuse me?
"I figured it out when I was putting the puzzle pieces together," Mia shrugged casually as if this was completely obvious this whole time. News flash, it wasn't or I was just completely ignorant and clueless.
Then again, what was new with the world?
"You were projecting when you wanted Avs to date him or at the very least, you thought that you might get over him if he was dating your best friend because obviously, he already had a huge crush on her. Sadly, when Avs rejected him, you got jealous and angry. You're upset because she was able to turn him so easily while you were over there hoping your hardest that he would develop feelings for you."
Sometimes, she was too straightforward. Any other person might be hurt by how she delivered her observations but Sasha was used to it so she didn't even appear fazed.
However, I was stuck there gaping at her. Add to that, Sasha didn't even look like she wanted to deny her statements.
"It should be you, but instead it was Avery," she continued, "That was what you were thinking, wasn't it?"
Sasha released another sigh, shaking her head in disappointment, "And here I thought I hid it well. Then again, you were always the best observer."
"Hold on!" I gasped, raising my hand up to stop them from going on, "Why is this new information to me?"
"Avery, you have a blind eye to anybody who has feelings for you," Sasha said, "Pat liked you for quite some time, even before he asked me about you. You were just clueless about it so it shouldn't be a surprise if you didn't figure this out."
I turned to Mia and she nodded her head in agreement, causing me to slump in my seat.
"But like I said before, you've always been the pretty one. It's not a foreign idea for guys to fall for you instead of me."
"Too bad for all of them that Avery is extremely loyal," Mia smirked my way, "She practically has tunnel vision for any guy she likes."
"And that happens to be Leon for now," Sasha added.
Even though I felt one stab after the other, I had to stop her on that one, "It's not for now. We're in this for the long run."
I've seen a future of us together – he and I were married. I got along splendidly with his parents and he managed to win over my mom. And besides, I have no intentions of letting him go now that I got him.
But back to the topic at hand.
"Sasha, from the very start I made it explicitly clear that I didn't want to be in a relationship with Pat and yet you kept pushing the idea to the point that it made me uncomfortable."
We already had our chance and it didn't end in a happily ever after.
"I'm sorry that I rejected him. To be honest, I don't even know why I have to be apologetic, but I am," I said to her, "But those things are completely out of our control. I can't make myself like Pat the way you want me to and I can't stop you from having feelings for him so that the three of us could get along again."
"And I know that," she spoke calmly which was another surprise considering the confrontation by the bleachers was anything but calm, "I was shocked that I exploded like that and I'm still ashamed of it. But it only taught me that this must have brewing for some time now and I didn't want to hurt the both you or hurt myself anymore."
All things considered, this was actually being handled pretty maturely. Well, as matured as sixteen years old can be. We weren't yelling, we weren't throwing hands, but we were conversing in a very leveled manner.
And plus, we were accepting our faults.
Silence once again fell between us, mostly because we didn't know what else to do to go forward.
But as I sat there, I tried to imagine a life without Sasha as my best friend.
She was the one who found me right before the incident could fully happen. She was the person who always tried to lift my spirits up, no matter how down they were. She constantly checked up on me when I was my lowest. She visited me whenever I refused to go to school – whether it was when dad died or the days following the incident at the party. She was my confidant, she was one of the people I treasured the most.
And her face when I found myself back to my original timeline was something else. When she finally saw me happy after watching me suffer for months, she was brought to tears. I had someone who cared so much for me.
This version of Sasha might be different but that doesn't mean that I loved her less.
So I opened my mouth, ready to suggest that we should just reset everything and try to become friends. But before I could, she started to talk again.
"I still love you both so much, but I think I should distance myself from now on," she said, her hands on the table and her eyes refusing to making eye contact, "For all of our sakes."
I wanted to throw maturity out of the window and beg her to come back to us.
"You know we'll always be here for you, right?" Mia told her and something in me sank because she indirectly accepted Sasha's intentions of breaking away.
You hear that? That was the sound of my heart cracking.
"And that goes both ways," she replied, a ghost of a smile on her lips, "Thank you."
It felt like she finally took a pair of scissors and cut off all ties from us when she said her thanks. It was as if any word I said, it would be useless because she looked so adamant that nothing could talk her out of it.
Maybe that was the reason why Mia chose not to fight it as well, even when it was written all over her face that this was not what she wanted.
"Then for one more time, let's eat together and pretend that it's just the three of us again," I suggested, my tone low and solemn, "Please?"
Before Pat asked us to join their group for lunch, before all the time travel shit, before all of this got messy.
When it was the three of us against the world, our own little trio.
"Of course," Sasha nodded, trying to shake away the tension and quickly switching the topic so it really did feel like it was just the three of us gossiping over lunch period, "So how are you and Leon going?"
A smiled softly, a warm feeling spreading in me because I've been craving for this normalcy for such a long time, "Amazingly well. He has been absolutely perfect."
"Now I want a love life," Mia groaned teasingly, causing the other two of us to laugh.
Even if it was for only one lunch period, this was more than I could have ever asked for.
***
"So did everybody say their orders yet?"
"Oh and I also want a chocolate milkshake, babe," I grinned enthusiastically towards Leon, causing him to laugh.
Since coach called off training for today, the whole group decided to go on ahead and go the burger joint. You know, the same one we went to during my first day of time travel.
There was even the claw machine that Pat tried to use as a way to impress me.
That felt like absolute ages ago but it had only been a couple of months of or so.
"And the basketball team is here," one clapped as another group of students started piling into the place, also occupying a massive table near us. The two teams immediately started mingling with each other, the atmosphere getting really rowdy.
But I was so happy to be in the middle of it.
For the first time in what could have been forever, I felt like a normal high school student again.
The chaos weirdly brought me a sense of peace.
Pat came to us, another boy in tow, chucking lightheartedly as he stood there next to the table we were occupying, "Mia, I'd like to introduce you to Ian from the basketball team."
"Pat!" the guy exclaimed, his whole face turning red and while Leon was obviously amused by all of this, I sat there with my eyes bugged open.
Ian.
It was Sasha's boyfriend from the other timeline.
"Hello, Ian from the basketball team," Mia joked, completely oblivious to way this guy somehow turned redder than he already was. If Sasha and Mia kept going on about me being clueless to guys liking me, then Mia wasn't much to talk.
He reminded me of what Pat looked like when Zoey first talked to him.
Ian never met Sasha, he never asked her out. Instead, he found Mia.
"He has been going on and on about this cute girl who was sitting next to Avery," Pat continued on, almost cackling at how funny he found the situation. Ian, on the other hand, looked like he was about to pass out from embarrassment, "Do you have any idea who she is?"
Now it was her turn to blush when she realized what was happening.
To diffuse the tension, I pointed to Ian and sent a cunning glance towards Pat, "Whatever you do, don't bring her to the claw machine."
Leon full on started laughing next to me, something that he rarely did so out in the open, while his best friend huffed, "That's foul play, Avs."
I grinned because I was proud of how far we've come. We can joke about those times without any awkwardness. Plus, Leon rewarded me with his laugh and that would always brighten my mood.
I turned to Mia, silently question how she felt about this situation. If she was uncomfortable, I would gladly find a way to get her out of it but to my pleasure, she appeared to be on board and open to the guy.
I just had to remove from my mind that this was in fact Sasha's boyfriend in some other lifetime, I had to reset my brain from that. I cannot let myself dwell on that because that would mess me up too much. Besides, this timeline was a hundred percent different from the one I came from so I shouldn't construct my thoughts and experiences based on that.
But Mia rarely showed interest in a guy so I didn't want to get in her way. Plus, I remembered Ian being extremely nice and almost brotherly to me.
I used to tease him and Sasha by calling them mom and dad, the same way Mia teased Leon and me these days.
Alright, time to play cupid.
"Babe, let's try the pizza they ordered over there," I gestured to the opposite end of this connected table, "Come on."
I quickly stood up to my feet and pulled on Leon's hand before sending a small wink towards Pat, "I suggest you grab a slice too, Pat."
He immediately got the message and grinned mischievously, "Well, it does look really tasty."
I looked at Ian, gave him a small encouraging nod, before walking away with the two boys. I watched on as Ian took the seat that I was previously occupying as he attempted to start up a conversation with Mia, something she was very receptive of.
"I thought you're not going to meddle," Leon chuckled, intertwining our fingers.
I shrugged in response, "I'm not going to meddle if she isn't happy about it, but I think it's very clear that she is."
"So Avs, what are the chances of you playing cupid for me?" Pat piped in, his tone showing that he was only saying it for fun, playfully clutching his chest, "My heart has been broken so many times."
See? No awkwardness at all.
"You'll find someone soon, lover boy," I laughed, "You can play third wheel for now."
He placed one hand on my shoulder and the other on Leon's, "Great, you two are stuck with me."
"I'd like to input something about that," Leon said, mockingly raising his hand, "No."
The three of us shared a laugh and something in the back of my head knew that I could finally relax. Whether I got everything completely right or not, this was truly where I was supposed to be.
From here on, life and its trials was no longer something I feared. I no longer ran away from time.
It was something I walked side by side with.
I could finally say that I was happy.
----------------------------
This is the part where we get emotional because friendship break ups are so hard. I never had a full friendship break up before though, most of them we just naturally drifted apart. However, I've had some major problems and dramas with my friends before and most of the time, it really places a dent on our relationship. We're still considered as friends but I don't think we'll ever be as close as we used to be before.
So any of you guys experienced friendship break ups?
Next chapter is the last one and then we'll get an epilogue. I'll save the sappy words for the author's note on those.
Happy New Year, my loves! May 2021 be better than the shit show that was 2020. So glad that I had you guys back in 2020 and I hope we can continue our journey this year!
I love you and see you next chapter.