I poison my own Mind with lethal thoughts
Of dissatisfaction,hatred,Anger and unworthiness!
Hating my own self for "who I am"
What I am?
I wish I could see the Good,
Others see in me!
But I guess am blind!
I wonder what,
Attracts them to me and fall for me?
I wish I could see myself
From their perspective
But my Eyes seem
To have faded away!
All
I see is,an empty
Broken,Sad,lonely dying Soul!
I lost sight of my vision
My dreams and mission
The future seems useless
And death seems to be the
Only
Visitor to bring me peace!
I sit and wonder
Could it be
My so called friends
Who left me?
My family or school?
My past?
Hmm my environment?
Or my high expectations?
But I still can't figure it out!
I some times think
Suicide could be of help
Coz life without a mission
Is not worth living!
Am I just puzzled!
Or what others call a sweet life
Is what my buds can't detect
We seem to be worlds apart
I in wonderland,and them in reality!
Will I ever catch up with them?
Or am made to pay for my past sins?
Some one tell me why,why me really!!
I wish but "wishes" won't change
Who or what I am?
I dream and hope for
The Best but the worst unveils
It's self every time I try more
Harder than before,
Oh,Gash what a life!
What a world!
I pray my life flips
Through this rough scenes
So that I see the light
Many are seeing
Feel the joy and happiness
That I missed and crave you
Set me free from mental illness!
I really
Wanna sit around
Those I call a family
And have a feat with them
One day!
THANKS 😊
(Last poem in this book)😊