Hey guys!
This is the most angsty chapter I've ever written. You've been warned.
So, as you know, chapter 7 centers around Zoë and Percy throughout TTC, right until her death. I felt like Percy was the only choice for this chapter because of how much he changes Zoë's perspective on some things but specifically because during this story I've been trying to analyze just how Zoë's life has been affected negatively by men, which is darkly comical considering that she devoted her life to a group formed only by women.
You will notice I changed a lot of things from the book. Some of them were because I wanted to make Percy and Zoë's dynamic the center of this fic, so some things were kind of irrelevant here. Others I changed because I honestly don't remember every detail of TTC so I apologize beforehand.
This is why I've based myself in the 5 stages of grief in order to describe Zoë's thoughts of Percy through pivotal scenes in TTC. After everything she's been through, if there was anything Zoë could struggle with, that would be the fact that men can actually be good.
I hope I did their relationship justice and that you guys liked this! Next chapter will be the last, and centered around the women of the Hunt. I have a general idea of how I want it to go and I know that my objective will be to describe how Zoë changed her sisters and the world around her. If there are any scenes or aspects you'd like for me to add, please mention it in the reviews or PM me.
Also, you guys, I'm sorry but I'll edit this tomorrow. This was honestly quite emotional for me to write and I need to take a break before editing. However, I wanted you guys to read it as soon as possible, since midterms made me delay my writing for so many weeks already.
Disclaimer: I do not own this. Also, there are mentions of abuse here. Also, mentions of death (plus the actual death of a character). Reader's discretion is advised.
Please fav, follow and review! It would mean the world to me. :)
Chapter 7. "The Huntress And The Dam Boy."
"Five shall go west to the goddess in chains,
One shall be lost in the land without rain,The bane of Olympus shows the trail,Campers and Hunters combined prevail,The Titan's curse must one withstand,And one shall perish by a parent's hand." - Rick Riordan, 'The Titan's Curse'.
Denial.
Zoë thought of the duality of her life constantly.
The thing was that she was so immersed into her mythological life that it was impossible for her to understand a reality other than the one she had already convinced herself of.
She had seen entire communities, entire cultures, entire empires fall into dust. So much of that had she seen that eventually, it had ceased to surprise her. After all, if the Gods themselves were in perpetual danger from their countless enemies, why wouldn't everything else be in jeopardy as well?
And she had seen wars. Hell, she had fought through them. She had fought time and time again, against both small and great enemies. So much had her life and the life of her sisters been threatened that it wasn't too long before their enemies failed to seem undefeatable. Regardless of the rest, no enemy had been able to cast a shadow over the fact that for thousands of years, Zoë Nightshade had survived.
She had made it through, even when against the worst of odds. The facts spoke of a clear image, one that granted Zoë tremendous courage and strength even in the bleakest of moments.
I mean, why wouldn't she keep on fighting? Why would she even consider giving up when she had defeated so many already?
So, duality.
Her life had been an infinite line, filled with events of all kinds. She had fought. She had lost. She had won. She had loved. She had mourned.
If anything, her life had readied her for a world in which everything and anything could happen. It had taught her that if there was a word that could describe the world her sisters and herself lived in, that was "unpredictable".
Still, there was a fault to that. Because, for as much change as the world had laid before her very eyes, it had also managed to strengthen some of her beliefs.
Zoë Nightshade had lived for thousands of years. She had seen entire kingdoms fall. She had seen powerful members of society be killed as easily as taking a deep breath. All of which she had thought would never happen, had happened right before her.
The idea that the male sex could make a positive change in a world built to please them, was not one of those things.
Zoë had lived for so long. She had seen so much and still, nothing about the infinity of happenstances she had witnessed had led her to believe she could be wrong about that. She could hope she was wrong, of course, but she knew better than to hope. It often led to disappointment.
Sometimes, Zoë thought of it. She wondered whether she was wrong. She wondered about the reason, she wondered about the reason why females had had to fight for every single right granted to them, all while men were given them as if they were all Kings. She wondered whether in fact, she could afford to hope not all men were ignorant to that level of inequality.
She thought of that because regardless of how much her life had proven that everything was a possibility, it had also taught her the existence of exceptions.
That was what she was thinking of when the son of Poseidon ran to her as she was leaving Camp Half-Blood.
"Zoë! Wait!"
Zoë stopped dead in her steps, her hand inadvertently gripping the bow in her hand as she clenched her jaw. She knew that voice. She didn't care for the person it belonged to one bit.
A few meters before her, Thalia Grace stopped and turned towards the source of that scream, Bianca and Grover soon following her lead. The Daughter of Zeus seemed more curious than anything. "Is that Kelp Head?"
Kelp Head. Had Zoë been on better terms with the demigod, she might have laughed. She resumed her walk, her steps purposeful, as if she had never stopped in the first place. "I suppose it is. Not that it matters, though."
By then, Zoë had caught up with her companions, her step undeterred even as she felt the cautious glances of Grover and even Bianca. Thalia, strangely, didn't seem to disagree with her, for she too ignored the cries from the Son of Poseidon.
"Zoë! Thalia! Stop!"
Zoë only gripped her bow tighter, her face turning into a scowl as the annoyance seemed to bubble up within her. She just needed to get on with the quest, and she certainly had no time or patience left for a kid like Jackson!
"Hey! I'm talking to you!"
Zoë closed her eyes, struggling with herself as she felt the irritation increasing, its flames warming her up until at last, she was on the verge of exploding. She could feel the urge to act on it in her fingertips, her skin almost tingling with the need to shut Jackson up. Still, she took a deep breath, commanding herself to ignore him.
He was not worthy, after all. Not worthy of her time nor her anger.
Besides, a place in Tartarus would be reserved for her if she dared to kill the precious son of Poseidon.
"You cannot forbid me to go, Zoë! Annabeth is my friend and I'm going to save her!"
Without really noticing, her steps faltered to a stop as the frail dam that had been containing her feelings towards the annoying boy finally crumbled.
Zoë sensed her companions had stopped too but they didn't matter. What mattered was the quest, what mattered was making sure that her final days in that world were spent in a productive manner. What mattered were Artemis and Annabeth. What mattered was that the members of that quest, as instructed by the prophecy, actually started the journey.
And that male dared to be in the way of it.
Zoë knew that to the others, it seemed as if the next thing she did happened in the split of a second.
It wasn't like that for her.
She felt her fingertips pulsating eagerly as she grabbed one of her arrows from her quiver in a manner so familiar, she would probably be able to pull off in her sleep. She felt every tension in her back muscles as she notched the arrow to her bow and aimed towards the son of Poseidon. She could see every angle of the forest as she let the arrow loose.
And as the arrow notched itself into the trunk of a tree right behind the boy's head, Zoë allowed herself a slight smirk.
That would teach him.
"Hey!" Percy yelled, his eyes wide with panic as his eyes drifted wildly between the arrow and the Lieutenant of the Hunt. "What was that for!? You could have killed me!"
Zoë lowered her bow calmly, choosing to ignore most of his theatrics. The fun of scaring an entitled person seemed to have lessened her anger at last. "You were being annoying, son of Poseidon. I suggest you stop announcing our location to the entire population of this forest. We are no longer safely behind the wards of Camp Half-Blood, after all."
Thalia was snickering openly as she stood with her arms crossed beside Zoë. "Are you sure you aren't about to faint, Kelp Head? You should have seen the look in your face!"
"Oh yes, let's throw arrows at Percy, that's so funny," Percy spat exasperatedly, scowling when Thalia only sunk to the ground, overridden with hysterical laughter. When Grover joined her, Percy sighed with frustration and turned to Zoë. "I need to help Annabeth, Zoë. Please."
"You need to help your friend." Zoë straightened, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Why do you think that matters, demigod?"
Percy squared his shoulders too, his expression growing grave. "She's my best friend. She's saved my life countless times. I need to go."
Zoë pursed her lips, her head tilted as she seemed to ponder the request. After a long moment, she seemed to nod with herself before she regally marched towards the son of Poseidon. A snort threatened to erupt from her lips as she noticed how he gulped nervously despite his attempts of looking cocky. For a second, she couldn't help but wonder whether the boy before her was aware of the feelings he had for the daughter of Athena.
She reckoned that if she - who had steered clear from all romantic gestures for an eternity - had managed to notice them, then so should he but still, Percy was a boy. They weren't the brightest of creatures.
Managing to keep a straight expression, Zoë gracefully walked past him in order to yank her arrow from the walnut-coloured' trunk. Turning with an expression of superiority, Zoë raised her eyebrows in inquisition. "Answer me this, son of Poseidon. Why do you think your personal need matters? Why do you think I should care? Is it because of your status as the son of a powerful god? Or is it because males see themselves as entitled to do anything they want?"
"No, that's not what I mean." Percy shook his head vehemently, his cheeks warming up as he frowned at Zoë. "I only mean-."
"I understand that you might mean well, Percy Jackson." Zoë cut him off gently. Her voice, however, left no room for arguments. "But this is greater than you. It is greater than me. It is even greater than Annabeth and Lady Artemis. This is about defeating our enemy. This is about doing everything we can so that when the final battle arrives, we will be able to stand with the best chances of winning. This is about ensuring our survival. The world's survival as we know it, in fact. Tell me, what do your needs have to do with it?"
Surprisingly, it was Grover the one who intervened. He took a step forward, gulping nervously when Zoë raised an eyebrow in expectation. "Lieutenant, I understand your hesitation but Percy has been named a hero by the Gods themselves. He could be useful-."
"The Hunt does not associate with males unless we need to, Grover." Zoë was gentle, yet her gaze was hard as it filtered back at Percy. "Everytime that rule was broken, it did not end well for my sisters. I won't make an exception now, not even for a Hero of Olympus."
"You don't even know me," Percy retaliated hotly, his voice loud and accusing. He clenched his fists as his eyes thundered with the power of an angry ocean. His aura, already powerful enough to accompany a son of the Big Three, seemed to grow even larger and brighter. "You have no idea of anything about my life so I don't get why you feel entitled to judge me."
Zoë studied his sea-green eyes silently, noticing how, though they were darkened with anger, they still failed to be threatening. She took in his tall, lean frame, noticing how the power of his aura did not at all mean chauvinist arrogance or even aggressive behaviour. She took in his wild, messy dark hair, its state managing to complete his look of childish innocence.
He was powerful, yes, but also burdened. And, he was still a kid.
Once upon a time, she had been like that too.
For a second, Zoë wished she could trust him. She remembered her conversation with Chiron, and how it made her think there could be a chance of finding male allies amongst the new generations of demigods. She wished she could embark onto the last days of her life knowing she had proven their existence. She wished that, for once, her hopes were supported and disappointment would not come to crush her spirits yet again.
And, just as that second had come, it had left too.
Again, she was reminded of the list of males who had altered her life completely.
Hercules, who betrayed her and forced her to leave her first home and family.
Zeus, who caused Kallisto and her son to die right before Zoë's eyes.
Apollo, who poisoned Orion and made Zoë deal with the consequences.
Orion, who made her tour the world for 150 years as she hunted him, all the while watching countless of her sisters die by his hands.
Sanders, who made her realize her own insignificance against a world that seemed to be constantly changing.
Atlas, who had forced her to face her own, abrupt demise.
"I don't," Zoë agreed easily. She made her way towards Percy, her hands twirling her arrow slowly. "Yet not once have I met a male who has managed to contradict me. We all have a role in the battles to come, son of Poseidon. And, as important as you may be for our success, you still don't have a role in this quest. If we manage to survive, we can resume this conversation. Perhaps you will actually be able to share something of interest. Until then, I have a quest to lead, and you have a camp to protect. I will make sure Annabeth knows of your...insistence to save her."
As a reply, Percy huffed and turned back towards Camp Half-Blood, cursing as he distanced himself from the group. Zoë watched him leave, and could only hope the quest was successful. She did not regret her decision one bit but still, she empathized with Jackson.
She too knew what it was like being without her friends.
"Did you have to be that mean?" Thalia demanded from behind Zoë. "He's worried about her friend. Why couldn't you understand that?"
Zoë wanted to laugh at that. Unknown to them, she had said her goodbyes to her sisters for a final time, and was prepared to meet her demise.
Of course she understood.
If only that changed anything.
"As I said, this is bigger than any of us. What we want or need, it doesn't matter," Zoë finally replied. Once Jackson had disappeared between the sea of trees around them, she put the arrow in her hands back in her quiver and turned towards her companions. "He can thank us for having a bigger perspective later, when we make it back with Annabeth safe and sound."
Thalia stared at her with narrowed eyes, tense silence surrounding them as Grover and Bianca seemed to want to stay as far from the argument as possible. Zoë merely stared back, her years of experience supporting her.
Finally, Thalia rolled her eyes and resumed her walk, their other two companions following quickly. "Come, we need to figure out how we are going to get a car if we want to reach San Francisco before it's too late."
Zoë refrained from looking behind her shoulder as she followed the daughter of Zeus.
She had to make sure everything went alright and if no men were there to screw with their plan, then even better.
Anger.
Had it been under different circumstances, Zoë would have enjoyed the irony of looking for refuge in Washington's Olympic Forest.
But, because the Fates seemed to hate her with passion, Zoë found that her entire focus was on keeping herself from poking Percy Jackson with thousands of silver arrows.
Complete, deafening silence hung around them as the group gathered close to the pile of wood Thalia and Bianca had assembled. After looking with trepidation at Zoë, who stood with her back straight and stiff facing the forest, Grover knelt before the pile of wood and, after nervously clearing his throat, began to light the fire.
Percy followed his friends silently, his usual quips and sardonic demeanor seemingly gone. He kept throwing wary looks in the direction of the lieutenant of the Hunt, his hands unconsciously gripping the edge of the Nemean Lion's pelt, which had been turned into a jacket the moment he put it around his shoulders.
Zoë tried to force herself to sit. She tried to relax her taut muscles, weary from a long day, and enjoy the starry night. However, she couldn't even look at the stars. More than that, she didn't want to. With her days counted, Zoë had made an oath with herself that she would only make the time to enjoy her home.
The forests had remained a wonderful constant in her life. The soft lull of the branches as they swung gently due to the wind, brushing against each other in the dark. The gentle wind that caressed her face and cleared her mind, reinvigorating even in spite of the exhaustion coursing through her body. The sea of stars dancing across the dark sky, painting the scene around her with silver, marvelous light.
She didn't want the memory of her home to be tainted by the arrogant demigod who had dared to follow them and that filled her with incredible rage. If she was to die soon, then the least she deserved was to enjoy her last days in peace. And if she couldn't enjoy her home, then she didn't even want to look at it.
At last, Zoë turned abruptly, heading towards her bags in order to ready their tents. She figured that she could do with an early night's sleep in order to avoid the idiotic son of Poseidon. Also, there was so much she needed to think about.
Artemis and Annabeth. Kronos and the battles to come.
The remaining path laid before her.
And Atlas, waiting by its end.
Alas, it wasn't too long before her pacific plans were halted.
"Zoë."
Zoë shook her head, refusing to look at him as she went through the bags in a crazed manner. Long gone were her calm mannerisms and instead, all left behind were the agitation and anger that had bubbled up to the surface. "Don't."
He actually had the gall to sigh. "Look, I get that I wasn't really invited here but is there anything to do about it? I'm here and I even saved your lives by killing the Nemean Lion. What's left to discuss?"
"I'm not sure you understand the dimension of what you're asking, Percy Jackson." Her tone was clipped as she finished assembling one of the tents. She had thought going through a routine as familiar as that one would deter her rage but it was wishful thinking.
And that made her even angrier. Not only had this heathen taken away the comfort of being in her home but also, he had cancelled the reassurance implied in tasks as menial as setting up the tents. The nerve of that little boy.
"Try me," he challenged.
Immediately, Zoë looked up, her eyes darkening at the nerve of the boy.
Distantly, as if they were thousands of miles away, Zoë heard Thalia's groan, Grover's nervous bleat and Bianca's shocked gasp. Still, she didn't even try to acknowledge it.
He wanted her to unload on him? Fine. She would grant his request. And he better be ready for it.
All she cared about was teaching this arrogant excuse of a boy a lesson. And, as she felt the anger coursing through her veins as if it were scalding lava, she realized she would enjoy it.
Good. She deserved to enjoy her life before she died.
"The pelt of that animal is all you deserve as gratitude." Zoë began, her tone venomous as she straightened to her full height, towering over Percy in a regal manner. Only the roaring fire stood between them, casting golden specks at both of them. "And you might even be the fifth member of this quest. I don't care about it. What I know is that your arrogance and stupidity put us in danger. We're facing an enemy unlike any you've seen before and your pointless, dangerous bravado almost screwed us over!"
Unused to hearing the formal huntress curse like that, the three remaining members stood in haste, intending to put a stop to the fight but Percy managed to cut them off. Whether it was because of Zoë's accusations or even due to the concern he felt about Annabeth, that he didn't know. It didn't matter. And when stood to face the huntress, his eyes were flashing as angrily as hers were.
"What makes you feel like you have the right to speak to me like that? You don't even know me and still, you haven't taken a second to see whether I fit into your awful criteria! What makes you think like you know enough to label me without even knowing me?"
"That's rich, boy." Zoë taunted humorlessly. "Try living for two thousands of years, like I have, and maybe you'll realize there isn't much that will remain unknown to you."
"I could name one thing," Percy retaliated hotly, his fists clenching angrily. "And if you would get down from your high horse, then you'd be able to see it too!"
"See what?" Zoë questioned, her fingers craving to grab her bow and shoot the rude teenager standing before her. "Your recklessness? Your need to be the center of attention? Your arrogant compulsion to do whatever you feel like, without caring for rules or others rather than yourself? Please enlighten me, boy, for all I can see are the same traits I've seen in every single foolish so-called-hero I've met during the eternity I've been alive."
"My need to be the center of attention!?" Percy's voice heightened with outrage. "What does that say about you? I want to save my best friend and you felt arrogant enough to leave me at Camp because you do not hunt with men!"
"I'm the lieutenant of the Hunt, boy. Do not mistake me for some child who has not a clue of what she's doing. I've been part of so many wars that the sight of blood does not upset me anymore. I've seen so much death that it doesn't faze me, no matter how gruesome it can get." Zoë snarled bitterly, her pride masking her expression so that she looked like a warrior queen putting a subject in their place. "I do not care that you're a Hero of Olympus. I do not care about your past triumphs. I was entitled to come in this quest to save Lady Artemis because of everything I've done, everything I've survived. You might be a hero and a warrior, but you certainly cannot measure up to me."
"Listen, as much as I enjoy this little quarrel," Thalia decided to intervene then, her eyes guarded as they flickered between Percy and Zoë. "We should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."
Beside her, Bianca took an hesitant step forward, her gaze concerned as it studied Zoë closely. "Zoë? Are you alright?"
Zoë frowned before noticing with a start that her eyes were filled with unshed tears. Forcing herself to chuckle, she raised a hand and pretended to remove a lash from the corner of her eye. "I'm alright, Bianca. I suppose the daughter of Zeus is right. We need to get some sleep."
At that, Bianca and the others felt compelled to move and ready themselves for the night but Percy stood put. His gaze instantly softened as he took in the raw emotion hiding behind Zoë's mask, his posture deflating without him even noticing. "Zoë, I didn't mean that. I know you're a much better warrior than I am. Hell, I've barely started learning about this world."
Zoë wanted to feel sorry for the boy. She wanted to be led by the fact that as annoying as he was, he was still a kid. Nothing but a kid. Her burden, her eternity of a lifetime, it didn't entitle her to judge others based on their experience or lack of.
She wanted to empathize or feel anything that would make her forget her anger. She couldn't. Her mind had been made, long before Percy even graced the world with his presence. Her entire identity had been configured long before she even moved to the United States. She would have never been able to forget about her anger, no matter how hard she tried.
"I know, demigod. Still, there is a difference between us. You came because you felt like it, even though Thalia and Grover were already on the way to save your friend." Zoë crossed her arms as she regarded Percy with a hardened gaze. Again, she felt the burden of her pending task weighing down her shoulders and it only seemed to stir up the flames of her rage. "I'm here because my destiny and my duty instructed me to. The day you manage to convince me you're different from the others will be the day you let others do the job, instead of putting yourself in the center of the struggle."
That night, Zoë volunteered to keep watch while the others slept but she couldn't find it in herself to look up at the stars.
She feared that with her heart so darkened by sorrow, anger and burden, she wouldn't be able to feel the reassuring effect of the twinkling lights.
And if she couldn't enjoy her home, then she didn't even want to look at it.
Bargaining.
After the Junkyard of the Gods, it felt as if even uttering a word would be a crime against the memory of Bianca di Angelo.
Thalia's discovery of a jeep by the fateful scene managed to get them to a river from which getting to Hoover Dam would be easy enough but, as they climbed down from the large vehicle, the four quest members found themselves to be too in anguish to continue their journey.
So, they had set up camp by the river and again, Zoë Nightshade was acting as guard while the others slept.
Zoë stared at the bright flames dancing merrily before her. Death had long stopped disturbing her. It had been a constant, just like the forests that were her home and the moon that danced above her every night. Still, there was not a death of a sister that she would fail to mourn.
And, as she felt the overpowering waves of pain and grief over Bianca, she couldn't help but wish she would have the strength to put out the fire. After her sister's death, nothing could be merry, not even the flames.
Still, she managed to control her emotions. What did she have, after all, if not her control?
Slowly, her frame got smaller and smaller until at last, she was curling into herself in front of the fire. Her knees bent close to her lean frame, her arms twisted tightly around them, she no longer resembled the warrior she actually was. For the first time in forever, she was the little girl who had died the day Hercules appeared in her gardens and betrayed her.
Zoë had always taken pride in her cunning mind. She would never be able to count the amount of times her mind had saved her and her sisters from certain death or injury. Her mind had been the one thing that remained as quick as she was as the years went by and she knew it was because of it that she'd been able to deal with the evolution of the world, an evolution that had left her behind several times.
Still, as she sat there, afraid of even moving a muscle in fear of breaking down completely, Zoë found for the first time that her mind had failed her. Instead of the clear trains of thoughts she was used to, Zoë could only give in to the storming, endless, deafening thoughts that swirled through her mind. They were voiceless thoughts, thoughts that screamed with feelings instead of with words.
Thoughts that were surrending her into shock, leaving her adrift amidst the chaos threatening to explode within her.
Guilt, anger, sadness, grief, burden, it all weighed down on her, slowly covering her in utter darkness, unrelented by the golden flames of the fire before her or even the silver of the sky above her.
Even her surroundings weren't helping. She should have been in a forest, honoring her fallen sister like only a fellow huntress could do. Instead, she was surrounded by nothing but lifeless sand, scattered bushes, all of them hardened by the sun and the toughness of the desert. It was so different from her home, so strange, that her entire being itched to get away from there, to leave her burden behind, to be finally at peace with herself.
It was too much. So much that, when she was no longer alone by the fire, Zoë found herself grateful.
"I hope you find it in yourself to bear with my presence," Percy mused with a small grin as he took a seat in front of Zoë, leaving them once again with nothing but the fire between them. His grin soon melted off as he took in the angst written all over his proud companion. "Zoë?"
"It could have gone so different," Zoë whispered, her voice broken as she allowed her inner barriers to be lowered. She did her best to refrain her emotions from bursting at the same time but it wasn't too long before her dark, enchanting face was wet with tears. "Bianca did not have to die. This is not fair. She had a life before her. She had a family waiting for her, a sisterhood. She didn't have to die."
'She was the only one supposed to die.' At last, Zoë was starting to decipher her thoughts. 'She was supposed to die so the others could live. Bianca was only a child. She didn't have to die.'
"I wished I could have died instead of her," Percy suddenly admitted. He avoided Zoë's eyes as she looked at him with surprise. "I...I promised his brother I was going to keep her safe. I...Nico trusted me and now, his sister is dead and all I did was watch as she sacrificed herself."
At that, Zoë was aghast. She felt as if she was seeing a new side of this annoying boy, one that rendered her into shocked awe. "So you came because of her?"
"She was one of the reasons." Percy shrugged. Zoë knew she deserved the judgement from Percy, she deserved the accusations of narrow-mindedness so when Percy only looked at her with sorrow, nothing but guilt in his eyes, the Huntress was even more surprised. "I stand by what I said, I came for Annabeth but Bianca...I made a promise and I failed her. I cannot forgive myself for it."
Silence ensued as the pair stared into the flames. Surprisingly, Zoë found that talking to that boy was actually...maybe not comforting her but it was helping in putting her thoughts in order.
The thoughts were heartbreaking, so filled with regret and guilt and grief, and so violent that they were threatening to tear Zoë's soul apart, forever succumbing her to the despair of her current situation.
'If she had allowed Percy to come with them from the start, then maybe she could have avoided Bianca's death.'
'If she had trusted Percy, then maybe the two of them could have protected her.'
'If she had forgotten about her prejudice, then maybe she could have taken Bianca's place.'
Still, Zoë found that speaking about it lessened the weight of her heart, almost as if she'd found an outlet for the overwhelming feelings in her heart. There was so much she couldn't say, so much that she would have to take with her into the grave but the little she could vent, it helped immensely.
All Zoë could hope was that it would be enough for her to bear the next few days.
"I have seen so many of my sisters die." Zoë finally said, her voice soft and sad as she stared into the flames. She could feel Percy's eyes on her but somehow, his gaze didn't unnerve her. In a way, it made sense for her to open up to someone who she owed nothing to. She could say anything with complete freedom, because she didn't owe anything to him nor did he owe anything to her. "From the days before I became the Hunt's lieutenant, only Phoebe and I remain. Only she and I have shared the burden of watching our sisters - whether it was because of war or because they left the Hunt - die and even though thousands of years have passed, we still remember every single one of their names."
"It must be strange, being here without her." Now that Zoë wasn't attacking him, Percy felt comfortable enough to let his guard down. "Being without Phoebe, I mean."
Zoë gulped emotionally, her expression guarded as she thought of her beloved sister. So many things had gone wrong ever since she heard of the prophecy. So much wasn't what it was supposed to be and it filled her with so much frustration because if Zoë Nightshade deserved anything after everything she'd accomplished, that was to be with her loved ones until the very last moment.
More than anything, she deserved to be the only death. No one else was supposed to die.
Everything could have been so different, had she changed just one of her decisions.
"It is and I'm angry that she can't be here." Zoë chose to reply, her voice slightly amused as she thought of her best friend. "Phoebe is the only one who can understand what it is to watch your sister, a child, die without you being able to do anything but stand by the sidelines and watch. Bianca was my sister, regardless of the time she was in the Hunt, and she deserved to live for an eternity, just like I did."
"I understand now that I never had a chance with you." Percy snorted, shaking his head as Zoë raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Since the moment the Stolls got in the way of Phoebe coming with us, you were against all of us. Their pranks usually have poor timing but this one..."
"You are right. The Stolls didn't make things easy." Zoë looked at him with a soft smile. "But you have."
Percy frowned, bewildered by Zoë's sudden acceptance of him. "What do you mean?"
This was way harder than Zoë had supposed. To admit to someone else, to a boy, that she was wrong meant for her to forget about the pride and the prejudice she'd been building for so many years.
Still, she owed it to herself. She had to be the best version of herself for as long as she could so when she died, she would have little to be sorry about.
It was too late for her to save Bianca and it would forever burden her soul but maybe, it wasn't too late for her to make amends with Percy Jackson.
That had to count for something.
"I...I regret being quick to judge you." Zoë began hesitantly, avoiding Percy's kind gaze as she struggled to admit her mistake. "My life has taught me not to trust your gender but still, I've realized that once again, I've allowed my mind to remain in the Ancient Times. The world is changing and sometimes, I find myself not changing with it. I should have given you a chance."
Percy's voice was polite, yet laced with utter confusion. "I don't understand, though. I did nothing to deserve your trust."
Zoë was torn between her fondness and her exasperation for the boy sitting in front of her. Her fondness because it was that kind reply that made it easier for her to believe he was different. Her exasperation because she was having the hardest time trying to admit her mistake to a male and why couldn't he accept her words already!?
"It may look like that to you but with Bianca's death and especially knowing you came here to protect her...if I had allowed you to come when you asked, you could have helped me care for her." Zoë explained, her voice laced with sorrow as she thought of the little boy waiting for her sister back at Camp Half Blood. "Maybe, she could have been spared and I could have died instead of her."
It was really angsty of her to say that but really, did her life even matter anymore? Her days were numbered anyway, so why did her life have to be terminated by the hand of her evil father? Why couldn't she have died saving her sister?
Percy's statement snapped her out of her thoughts. "You don't believe that."
Zoë furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, slightly offended that he had the nerve to contradict her. "Why do you say that?"
"Because the prophecy wouldn't have let you." Percy shrugged sadly. "I mean, do you think you could have prevented it?"
Zoë swallowed her tears as she locked eyes with the son of Poseidon.
The prophecy had been clear.
'One shall be lost in the land without rain.'
Now, they knew it described Bianca's fate.
'And one shall perish by a parent's hand.'
Her own fate had too been decided.
She had no idea whether she could have changed the course of events. But she wished she could have tried.
"I don't know what I believe anymore." Zoë whispered. She tried to square her shoulders and look at Percy with courage but she couldn't, not when she felt so defeated. "All I know is that this is the hardest quest of my life and maybe, if I hadn't fought you so much, things would be different. I regret not listening to you, as annoying as you might be."
Percy cracked a smirk. "I will choose to ignore the annoying part."
Zoë found herself smiling at the demigod. "Do as you please. You cannot say that it isn't true."
Silence fell again amongst them, yet it was more comfortable, as if in the grief they shared, they had found the opportunity to be on better terms.
Percy was the one who broke it, his voice now even more hesitant than before. "Can I ask you a question?"
Zoë stiffened. "You can. Whether I answer, that's a different story entirely."
"As witty as ever, I see." Percy quipped, smirking when Zoë only smiled innocently. "Why is this your hardest quest?"
Zoë bit her lip as she considered her answer. Really, she might as well talk about it. She didn't have to say everything, after all.
Still, Zoë couldn't open up to Percy without threatening him first. "I...Percy, if I find out you've told this to anybody else, I will hunt you down and tear you apart."
Percy raised his eyebrows with alarm written all over his face. "I was already scared of you. You didn't need to traumatize me further."
"I beg to differ." Zoë replied charmingly before sobering up, blurting the words without even realizing what she was doing. "The General."
Percy straightened nervously. "What about him?"
Zoë took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was Percy. She owed him nothing, just like he owed her nothing. That reassured her. "He's Atlas, Kronos second-in-command...and my father."
Silence ensued as Percy desperately looked for something to say. Meanwhile, Zoë closed her eyes in trepidation, overwhelming panic threatening to conquer her entire body. Her fate seemed more real than ever yet and still, she was unsure of whether that was a bad or a good thing.
It was overwhelming. All of it. It was so fast, so painful. So much for her to bear.
At last, Percy could only cough awkwardly. "Ah."
Zoë opened her eyes at that and smiled at Percy, an hysterical laugh threatening to erupt from her lips. "Yes. Ah."
"I suppose you two didn't part in good terms, huh?"
"What do you think?" Zoë somehow knew he only meant to lessen the tension in the atmosphere, which she was grateful for, but she couldn't help to scoff. "Gods, I think about him now and considering I just lost a sister, it doesn't feel as much of a threat. What else do I have to lose anyways? I wish...I wish I could go back and do everything different. I would change so many things and I would be able to face him with another presence."
Percy pondered that silently before clearing his throat nervously. Then, he looked at Zoë. "My first stepfather was an evil man. I...sometimes it's so hard to believe everything my mom and I had to go through just because of the hate in his heart. For years, I was so afraid for my life and especially, my mom's life and...I really don't even know how am I going to be able to look at my past and even slightly accept that that happened, you know?"
Zoë felt the urge to reach out and hug the demigod. It had turned out that Percy Jackson was who her sisters and herself had fought for, not who they fought against.
She could feel herself being destroyed by the guilt over how horrible she had been towards him but it only took a look at Percy to know he didn't need her pity, just like she didn't need his. With that, she found herself understanding him better and actually wanting to show him the same respect he had shown her.
When she replied, she did so with a tone of camaraderie. "Thank you for telling me that, Percy. I'm honored you trust me enough to talk about it."
"Well, you deserve my trust, especially after today." Percy replied, his smile widening as he relished in the new dynamic between the two of them. "But my point is that I recently found out my mom married that asshole in order to protect me from the monsters out there, because his awful scent would hide mine until I was old enough to face who I am. The guilt has been consuming me ever since I found out but all my mom said is that it wasn't my fault. As much as I hate it, I'm starting to think she's right. I couldn't have done anything to stop it, just like you aren't at fault for what men have done against you and all the other innocents."
Zoë cocked her head with interest. "Weird choice of words."
Percy frowned, unconsciously tightening his coat as a cool breeze brushed past him. "Huh?"
"'What those men have done against you.'" Zoë repeated with suspicion written all over her face. "That feels awfully specific, especially considering I haven't told you anything about my life."
Percy stammered for a few seconds before sighing in defeat. "Yes, well, I had a dream about you. And Hercules. And Riptide."
Zoë sighed. She had seen her beautiful blade in Percy's hand and it had bothered her tremendously. It had actually been one of the reasons why she couldn't stand the kid. Throughout her life, she had remembered her weapon, often identifying the loss of it as the worst aspect of Hercules' betrayal. She had tracked him down for years after she joined the Hunt, intent on regaining her trusted Anaklusmos. When she found out about his death, she mourned for it. It was as good as lost. Another thing he took from her.
And then, she had come to find her beloved sword in the hands of an entitled kid, no less.
The nerve of some people.
Then, the quest had happened. And now, in the face of such a heartbreaking reality, she regretted caring about those silly things.
Oh, how would she change everything had she had the chance.
"Anaklusmos." Zoë smiled softly as she recalled the familiar feeling of that blade in her hand. "Out of everything I regret from that day, I think I regret giving it to Hercules the most. I loved that sword."
Percy pursed her lips in solidarity. "I'm sorry, Zoë. Do you want it back?"
Zoë felt comforted by Percy's offer but shook her head. "No...hold onto it. Prove that you're worthy of it."
Percy smirked. "I thought I already proved myself."
Zoë rolled her eyes moodily, a smile threatening to break through her lips as Percy snorted in response. "All in good time, Percy Jackson. All in good time."
And as the night continued, Zoë and Percy kept talking about their lives not as enemies, but as allies.
Depression.
As they made their way towards the last stop of their quest, Zoë was ignorant to everything around her.
The stars above her were invisible. The reassuring wind was nonexistent. The warmth emanating from her companions, her allies, was nothing against the freezing cold that seemed to have overtaken her body.
During the last couple of days, she'd thought she had made her peace. She knew there was no point in wishing for another future when her fate had been at last decided so she thought she had made her peace with her death.
Don't get her wrong, she would happily die if it meant Artemis' freedom. She would happily die for the safety of her beloved sisters. She would even die happily for Thalia and Grover and Percy.
But still. Oh, how she craved for more time.
Her encounter with her sisters seemed to have fled from her mind. Having found true sisters in the Hunt, Zoë had only seen them as strangers, unrecognizable after an eternity apart. They were no longer the girls she had played, trained and spent day after day with. They were the Hesperides, ancient beings that belonged in a world that had long ago dissolved into dust. They weren't even the girls that had kicked her out of her first home. They were nothing to her. Nothing at all.
The reunion with Ladon, however, shook her to the very core. Even if she'd had an eternity to accept her death, she could have never thought the beloved dragon who had once trusted her unconditionally would have a part in it.
Against her will, her eyes drifted towards Percy, who walked beside her as they headed for the place where Atlas was imprisoned, bound to the task of holding up the sky. Thalia and Grover walked slightly before them, discussing in hushed tones amongst themselves, their movements nervous and their eyes wide with a mix of apprehension and excitement at being so close to Annabeth.
Percy, however, was already looking at her.
"Are you okay?" Percy asked quietly, rolling his eyes when Zoë only shrugged. "Please, I thought we had evolved from this."
"Your arrogance continues to amaze me, boy." Zoë replied with a weak smile, not even trying to mask her emotions. She could feel her strength evaporating as Ladon's poison continued to course through her veins.
She had forgotten about Ladon's poison until it was too late.
She had been so moved by the sudden reunion with her old friend.
And then, it was too late.
Now, she was not only meeting a terrible fate. She was doing so under the worst of circumstances. She was defeated, even before she reached the end of the line.
Now, all she could do was hold onto dear life for the last of her strength.
She would need it for what was coming.
The Last Battle.
"You're hilarious," Percy scoffed, his lips pursing into a scowl.
Zoë smirked, her eyes lighting up with amusement before becoming dull again as exhaustion took over. "I try."
"Zoë-."
"I know," Zoë cut him off gently, her heart clenching with sadness as she thought of the opportunity she had missed. Oh, how different would everything be had she made some different choices. "I just...facing my past made me realize how different we need to do things. The Hunt I mean. It's time for it to change."
"You girls have done such an amazing job though." Percy frowned in confusion. "Why would you change that?"
Once again, she remembered the list. The bloody list that had followed her like the most persistent of nightmares.
Hercules.
Zeus.
Apollo.
Orion.
Sanders.
Atlas.
Still, this time she went over it with a different perspective. She remembered those names and their crimes and understood that, although she had sworn she wouldn't let them dictate her life, she had allowed exactly that. They had twisted the way she saw men and in turn, the way the Hunt saw men.
Of course, men had been despicable towards her and her sisters and they had all deserved punishment but she now understood that if they wanted to make a real change, then men needed to be included into the conversation, not left out. Chauvinism needed to be eradicated but not by ignoring an entire gender altogether. For the first time Zoë saw how conflictive it could be, leaving one side out of the conversation. Men and women were a part of the world, after all. Women needed to be given the same rights men had been gifted from the very start and men needed to support that but by arguing over it...was that really the best course of action?
Perhaps it was the emotions messing with her mind but Zoë wasn't sure anymore.
What she knew was that she needed more time.
She needed more time to give Percy another chance. She needed to find out what boys like him had to offer in order to be able to work with them. She needed to talk to him, about all the things they had in common and about the different perspectives he had in life.
He could have helped her make a real difference. Because of her stubbornness, she would never know for sure.
"Because I haven't been including everybody." Zoë replied at last. Her heart felt so heavy she was surprised she hadn't fallen to the ground by then but when she looked at Percy, she did so with a small smirk. "Because we had allies elsewhere, and I've only now come to realize it."
The rest of the walk was silent, the dread of what was about to happen falling onto them.
She had realized something so important.
And it was too late.
Her time had run out.
Acceptance.
After so many years in which her life had been so vibrant, so strong, so resilient, it's almost laughable how eagerly it was evaporating from Zoë's body.
Zoë could hear the surprised screams of her companions as they noticed her body laying on the floor, right beside the wall Atlas threw her against. She could feel the anguish in Artemis' steps as she rushed towards her faithful lieutenant. She could taste the saltiness of her own tears as she realized that her time, at last, was up.
Still, she was oddly reassured by it. In a way, she was even grateful, because it meant her pain was finally over. Her fight was finally over.
And as she thought back of her life, she saw it with a sense of victory, her regret momentarily forgotten.
She had fought and she had lost but her past victories, they more than made up for that one defeat.
I will not write what went on between Percy and Zoë as the latter slipped away from the world. Some tragedies are too awful to be spoken of. They are too heartbreaking, even in spite of the time, to be described.
All you must know is that she could finally see the stars. She was finally free to gaze at their beauty, the beauty of yet another constant that followed her wherever she went. As she died, Zoë found that her heart had somehow expanded, as if the poison and the physical trauma had gotten rid of every burden and guilt, only leaving the love she had for that world.
And, oh, how she loved it. The beauty of the stars. The resilience of the forest. The kindness of the breeze. The warmth of the fire as she gathered around it with her sisters. The familiar feeling of her wooden bow. The satisfying noise her bowstring made every time she shot an arrow. The laughter of her sisters as they chattered about something or the other. The wonderful friendship she'd found in Phoebe. The protection she'd found in Artemis. Even the lessons she had learned as she moved from civilization to civilization.
She made sure Percy knew all of that as he cried beside her. As the poison destroyed her body little by little, leaving her in agonizing pain, she managed to forget about it all because she had a last mission.
She needed Percy to know that she was honored that Anaklusmos was in his possession. He needed to know that she knew of her fate ever since she received the prophecy and nothing would have been able to change her destiny. She told him that, even though she wished she had met him sooner, she was still immensely glad she had the chance to know a kind, good man before she died.
She needed him to know she felt better about dying because he had survived, and that meant that there was hope for the world she was leaving. She needed him to know that she was leaving in peace for she had at last seen how meaningful her work had been. She needed to know that he would remember, and that he would tell all of this to her sisters so they could continue the work begun even before Zoë had been alive. When Percy swore that he would tell them everything, Zoë smiled as two tears rolled down her cheeks, carving a path across the dirt and blood spread on them.
And, as soon as Percy promised he would make sure everybody knew of what happened that day, that everyone would know about the story of Zoë Nightshade, the Huntress felt free to give in to the force calling her into her next adventure.
And as she gave into the pain, she barely registered Percy switching places with Artemis. All she could see were the stars, calling for her to join them with their enchanting light.
"Stars. I can see the stars again, m'lady."
At last, the pain was finally gone.
That night, the sky gained a new, beautiful constellation.
It was called The Huntress by those she left behind.
And she would always be remembered.