it was always you
Louis' POV
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"Good luck Louis!" Eleanor calls to me from the from door of her building.
I wave back to her, smiling and mouthing a thank you.
The second I get in the cab that was waiting for me on the road in front of her building, I give the driver directions and we speed off.
I open my phone, knowing I should do this sooner rather than later. I take a deep breath before clicking one button and closing my eyes.
I close the app and open twitter. I type out a message, paste the link and take another deep breath before hitting tweet.
I immediately lock my phone not wanting to see what people are saying quite yet.
"You alright back there?" The man driving my cab asks.
"Yeah," I smile slightly. "I think I'm good."
He raises an eyebrow at me in question, I can see it in the rear-view mirror.
"I'm trying to apologize to someone," I explain. "I won't know if he saw it until I get there though."
"Ah," He smiles out at the road. "Well good luck then."
"Thank you."
Harry's POV
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"Harry!" Liam calls.
I turn to him, stopping on my way back to my room after dinner.
"I think you should see this." He goes to hand me his phone. "It's Louis."
I push the phone away. "No."
Liam frowns. "I don't want to see another video of him drunk, I've already seen two. I don't want to see him hurting anymore." I explain.
"Harry wait!" Liam calls after me as I walk away. I ignore him, going back to my room.
I can't deal with another drunken video. The last one I saw hurt even more than the first. He thinks I hate him. How could he ever think that?
All I do is miss him. Day and night, my brain is just LouisLouisLouis.
I sit in the chair in my room facing the window. The view is beautiful, maybe it might help take my mind off things. More likely it will draw attention to the things I am trying to avoid thinking about.
I glance at my phone. If there is another video of him drunk everyone will be tagging me. It won't take very long for me too find it.
Maybe it's not that bad, maybe he's okay.
I ignore every part of my mind telling me not to look and open my phone.
Clicking on twitter, I see immediately that I am tagged over a million times to a single tweet.
I click on it and my breath catches.
@Louis_Tomlinson
I have had a lot of words floating around in my head of what I should say, here's one of the ways I decided to tell you. Louis x
There is a link attached to the tweet. I take a deep breath before clicking on it.
I place my phone, face down, on the windowsill in front of me and let the sound of Louis voice fill my ears.
I went to Amsterdam without you
and all I could do was think about you
and, oh oh oh, I should have known
His voice sounds so beautiful and angelic, it calms me.
I went to Tokyo to let it go,
Drink after drink but I still felt alone,
I should have known
I already know I will be crying by the end, so I close my eyes and let it sink in.
I went to so many places
looking for you in the faces
I could feel it, oh I could feel it
I lean my head on the back of the chair, feeling the tears prickling my eyes already.
I'm wasting my time when it was always you, always you
Chasing the high but it was always you, always you
The first tear falls.
Should've never let you go, oh-oh
Should've never let you go, my baby
Go, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
I turn my face back to the window, wiping some of the tears away.
I went from LAX to Heathrow
walk through my door but it felt nothing like home
'Cause your not home
waiting to wrap your legs around me and I know you hate the smoke without me
now you know
I watch as the the sky fades from blue to shades of pink and orange, with purple tinted clouds.
I'm wasting my time when it was always you, always you
Chasing the high but it was always you, always you
More tears fall and I don't even try to wipe them away anymore.
Should've never let you go, oh-oh
Should've never let you go, my baby
Go, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Should've never let you go, oh-oh
Should've never let you go, my baby
Go, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
His voice is all I can focus on now. I can hear the pain and longing in it.
I went to so many places
looking for you in the faces
I could feel it, oh I could feel it
I wish he was here with me now. So I could hold him close, run my fingers through his hair, and burry my face in his neck.
I listen to the rest of the song. Letting silent tears run down my face.
I am aching for him now, so much so that I can almost feel his presence.
The song ends and I sit there in a moment of silence. My tears drying on my cheeks, eyes searching for him in the horizon of the sun.
"Did you like it?" I can almost hear his voice whisper.
I close my eyes, smiling to myself a little. I'm glad I still know what his voice sounds like. Not that I could ever forget.
"Hazza?" I hear again, but this time it's not a whisper. It doesn't fade into the stillness.
I slowly open my eyes.
When I see him standing in front of me, with his face all perfect and eyes all blue and bright and teary, I think he isn't really there. That I am simply imagining his perfection before me.
But he moves towards, me and I know he is really there.
I leap up from my seat wrapping my legs around his waist. Letting out a dry sob and pressing my face into his neck.
"Hi hazza." He whispers into my ear.
I pull back, cupping his cheek and tilting his head to look into his eyes again.
"You're here." I breathe out.
He chuckles wetly, a few tears falling down his cheeks. "I'm here."
I giggle, my eyes wet with tears once again. "Fuck, I missed you."
"I missed you too." He whispers.
I push my nose into his neck and breath in his sent. It's just as I remember, just as calming.
I can feel him walking and sitting down, which means I am sitting in his lap. My legs on either side of his hips pressing into the mattress of the bed.
"I'm glad you're back." I say finally, peeking out of my safe spot. "You are back right? You're staying?"
He touches my cheek gently. "I'm not leaving ever again." He then closes his eyes and takes a breath like he's nervous to say something.
"I love you."
His eyes open, and I stare for a moment. Not sure what to do. He loves me. He loves me. Holy fuck he loves me.
I push on him pressing my lips to his harshly kissing him. The force pushes him back on the bed, he gasps in surprise but kisses me back instantly.
I bend my knees so I can still straddle his hips, hovering over him. I pull back a moment whispering "I love you too" on his lips before diving in again.
A smile makes his way to his face, and soon spreads to mine. We start laughing, kissing each other every once in a while, ignoring the tears in both of our eyes making it difficult to see.
"God there is so much I have to tell you." I breath out. His hands find their way to my hips, I missed the feeling. "So much we have to talk about."
I lift myself up so I am looking down at him, hovering slightly over his body. My hand runs down the length of his abdomen. Starting at his neck and shoulders, making its way over his chest and stomach, to toy with the hem of his shirt.
"But before any of that I need you inside of me right now." He laughs head titling back.
"You only missed me for that, huh?" He jokes.
"No," I smile, kissing his cheek and then collarbones. "but I definitely did miss the feeling of your naked body against mine."
His breath hitches. "Okay, and now we are going to take our clothes off."
I giggle at his reaction, pushing his shirt up and over his head. I start kissing his chest the second I get access. I feel his hands move to remove my shirt too.
He discards it on the floor, I come up but to his face.
I run my fingers across his cheekbones, looking deeply into his eyes. Both his hands come up to rest on my cheeks.
At once we lean into each other and start kissing. It's soft and slow, full of passion and love. We are gently tasting each other. Light lingering touches, spread over our bodies.
It slowly gets heated, and the soft touches get more desperate and needy. I reach for the button of his trousers, undoing it quickly.
Louis pulls back suddenly. "Wait are you sure you want to do this now?"
I giggle and start kissing his neck, sucking lightly on the skin. "We can wait a little bit, we can just cuddle right now."
I pull back looking into his eyes. It shows me that he isn't saying this because he doesn't know how to say no, but because he wants to make sure I'm okay.
I smile at the thought, maneuvering us so that so we are lying on the bed properly. Pillows under his head, light bedsheets smooth under his back.
"I'm sure." I say.
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was is worth the wait??
i hope you liked it 😅
tpwk ❤️❤️