CHAPTER 16: Embrace The Absurdity
********************************
Ella was crouching low on the side of pavement in her university campus as she looked down at the ground pretending to find something, while her entire focus was set twenty feet away from her on two people who were talking to each other about what? Ella had no idea. It was scary if not horrific and she wanted to stay and make sure nothing gets too out of hand.
Suddenly someone appeared next to her and scrooched down to join her, "What are we looking for?" a deep voice asked, catching her off guard.
Ella suddenly looked up at the presence of another human being and almost fell flat on her face since she was balancing on the balls of her feet. "What the-"
Andrew's green eyes widened a tad bit as he reached forward to hold her shoulders to steady her, "Woah...be careful." he said.
"Don't give me a fright like that!" she said, putting her hand on her heart.
"But that's part of my charm. I look pale and illusory and I use it to my advantage!" he said flatly.
A small smile tugged at Ella's lips but she fought it, "Don't try to make me laugh, I was in the middle of something and you're being a distraction."
"What am I distracting you from? What are you looking for? Need help?" He asked swiftly.
"I'm pretending to look for something I never lost..." She told him. "It's kinda my cover for tailing my best friend."
"Ooh intriguing, tell me more..." he actually sounded interested in her stupid mission.
Ella discreetly pointed at Nora and a guy she was talking to twenty feet away as she said, "That's her and she's talking to this innocent guy probably named Elliot... I tried to stop her but it seems she's totally disregarding my wishes for the sake of my safety."
"Uh-huh...I'm gonna pretend like that makes sense." Andrew nodded as he looked ahead.
"I'm trying to make sure she doesn't take him out," I said, sounding absolutely serious.
"Just to be clear, you mean to take him out like, on a fun date or kill him in cold blood?" he asked.
"The second one..." she confirmed his fears.
"Oh.." He nodded grimly, "Oh no...that's bad." he said looking at Nora, "She just twisted his arm ouch that looks painful."
"Yeah, she's feisty like that," Ella said, looking concerned as she frowned. "Should I intervene?"
"No don't!" he said, "It's not too bad, besides I wanna see where it goes," he said, looking entertained at the scene in front of him.
"Seriously?" Ella gave him a pointed look. "If he dies I'm blaming you!" she told him.
"Sure thing, but give me context, why does she have a vendetta against this Elliot dude?" Andrew was far too invested in this situation and Ella wanted to face-palm.
She huffed and then answered him quietly, "She thinks this guy is shady and that he wants to kidnap me and harvest my kidneys."
Andrew's eyes narrowed as he looked at the guy, trying to match that fucking weird description with the lanky dude in front of him, "Him? With those skinny arms? He looks like he'll run away at the mention of drugs..."
"Mind you that was her idea, not mine and I didn't agree, at all..." Ella made it clear.
"So it seems." They both watched as Nora let go of the guy's twisted arm and he ran away like the hell hounds were after him.
"Wow, he runs fast, survival instincts on point!" Ella commented.
"Maybe she mentioned drugs." he wondered aloud, and she was unable to suppress a smile.
Nora then dusted both her hands against each other like she finished chopping some wood for the campfire and walked away swiftly with a smile like she didn't give some guy nightmares.
"Damn. I would not wanna mess with her." Andrew spoke under his breath.
"Yeah, that's in your best interest, she can make a grown man cry..." Ella said, knowing her friend quite well. A beat passed in silence.
"Are we gonna pretend this was normal?" he asked and she said "Yes."
"Well, that was almost anticlimactic, no gore or bloodshed...I got my hopes too high." Andrew said almost as if he was sad.
"Be glad, you could have been a murder witness, might have to testify in court and maybe even bury a dead body, I'm guessing that's no fun..." She said as both of them stood up, giving up on their act of 'looking for something they'll never find.'
"You don't know what my idea of fun is, maybe I like getting interrogated by buddy cops." Andrew shrugged, a smile was prevalent on his lips while his green eyes sparkled with mirth.
Ella rolled her eyes, as they walked together "You watch too many movies."
"I don't see anything wrong with that." Andrew smirked, "And it's more fun than getting drunk at a frat party and passing out on someone's lawn."
"I'll have to agree." She suddenly stopped and asked, "Wait! Where are we going?"
"I'm going to the cafeteria for an early lunch..." He shrugged, "Wanna join me?" he asked.
Ella raised an eyebrow at that and said, "How can I say no to that."
They continued walking, when Andrew asked, "Just so it's clear, we are both skipping class right?"
Ella nodded. "Absolutely, I was gonna sleep in the class anyway."
"Mrs Bridge?" Andrew guessed, and smiled when she confirmed that he was right.
"Gosh I keep forgetting you're a year older," she said as they entered the familiar wide cafeteria, and started looking for an empty table, they had many options since it wasn't lunchtime yet so the place wasn't exactly packed.
"Hey! I'm offended." Andrew frowned, looking adorably like a kid throwing a fit.
"That was actually a compliment," Ella told him as they both walked towards the counter to order some food.
"It didn't exactly sound very flattering." He seemed suspicious as they moved ahead and after getting some food they chose a table and sat down.
"You know a bit about me, but there isn't much I know about you..." Ella said, conversationally as she ate.
"Except that, I hide away under trees and prefer to watch movies instead of partying." He pointed out with an amused smile.
"Yeah, except those things...so, what's your story?"
"Depends..." He mumbled, meeting her eyes, his hands dexterously wrapped the spaghetti around his fork.
"On?" she asked, her eyebrows raised at his words.
"What genre do you prefer..." He said winking at her playfully as he took a bite.
"Wow....you're all set to entertain huh?" She asked, leaning back comfortably on the back of her chair, she smiled at him.
He shrugged and said, "Well, since I'm entertaining, I thought I'd make it worth your while."
Ella considered it for a second and then said, "How about horror."
"A woman after my own heart," Andrew smirked.
**********************************************
Ella walked back home with a smile on her lips, all the lame random jokes Andrew cracked just a few minutes ago resonated in her mind making her chuckle for no reason.
He was a dork, it doesn't seem that way when she met him for the first time, but now she couldn't believe she thought of him as this cocky smug guy with way too much confidence. But that face and those beautiful green eyes were misleading, you can't really blame her.
Every step took her closer to her home, but that much further from the library where she had planned to visit. Halfway through when she realised her mistake she turned around and walked the whole way back, almost in a hurry.
Visiting the library on stupid excuses had become the norm for her, 'I need to get this new book for the assignment' or 'I forgot something, I'll be right back' or even, 'I need to talk to Eddy about my next shift'. Visiting the library every other day to keep or pick up a letter has become a part of her schedule now.
The excuses were lame and simple, no one ever suspected anything else other than Nora who always gave her teasing looks at the mention of the library even if it was for a genuine cause other than the letter exchange.
The library was quiet but alive, the soft hum of the ceiling fans and occasional turning of pages was sometimes interrupted by light footsteps of students leaving and arriving.
Ella's footsteps were slightly louder and her breath a tab bit heavier as she made her way towards familiar shelves. Her eyes instantly spotted the letter that sat there, nestled between the pages of the same book.
She smiled and quickly reached to take it, carefully slipping it into her bag. She wanted to bring the letter with her back to her room. Without wasting another moment she was on her way out, anticipation charging her each step, urging her legs to walk faster impatiently.
The letter felt heavy in her bag as she rushed with an unexplainable eagerness lighting up her form. Soon she reached her door, she quickly entered, walked to her room and locked herself in.
Ella emptied her bag on her bed, all the contents fell out along with the letter and she quickly grabbed it.
When she finally settled herself in her bed and managed to open up the piece of paper, her eyes followed the words on it.
4-Oct-2018
Dear Annie,
I sit in my chair with my eyes closed, trying to listen to the sound of silence (not the song), and I realise you're right, it is indeed beautiful. It's the sound of blossoming buds, of falling leaves, of day's descent into night, of thoughts and heartbeats.
Reading your words creates around me a world I haven't experienced or been a part of, but the way you describe it, I'm tormented with the want of sharing that moment with you, maybe someday... when I'm courageous enough.
(Unlike what you claim) You know a lot about me, things that no one else does, among mundane things, you know that I like to read fiction, write letters and every once in a while spending time away from everyone else, under the willow tree. But I guess, "you know more than you think you do, just as you know less than you want to." But to be honest, unlike everyone else, you know the real me.
Quoting Oscar Wilde, is he? She smiled. Her ears felt warm and her heart swelled with his words.
Your curiosity in me is staggering, no one ever has shown such interest in knowing me as much as you do, so I'll attempt to answer these questions you have for me, it's quite hard to be objective, but I'll try...
I look like any other college guy I suppose, stumped with academic responsibilities, nothing special about my appearance, I'm just another guy in the crowd.
Was that a really inadequate answer... I'm sorry, this is harder than I thought.
I sound....absurd? Or at least that's what I've been told multiple times. I've decided to accept it and embrace the absurdity. And I don't think I talk the way I write. Writing is an elaborate, more thoughtful process. But if I perceive myself wrong and somehow I do speak the way I write, I can understand why people might think I sound absurd.
I don't think it would be awkward if we met, I don't know how to explain it... call it, sixth sense maybe?
I understand there usually is an order that we conform with when we are getting to know someone, but something about this retrograde discourse of ours makes it extraordinarily memorable, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
But to be honest, every time you even hint at the fact that you've read those embarrassing letters in the journal that I wrote in a moment of sheer desperate stupidity makes me want to hide away, it makes me glad you don't actually know me.
And to answer your question, I don't think I can find her and make things work out, no matter how badly I want to. And truly... I don't even want to anymore.
I do wish to soothe your curiosity, but I'm afraid there isn't much to offer, we just grew apart just as any two individuals do. Our ideological differences formed a wall between us and then the distance widened gradually but naturally. None of us did anything to prevent it. I was part of the problem... At least half of it.
What I feel for her hasn't completely faded away, but at some point, I understood that maybe some people just aren't meant for your life but only for what they add to it and to your memories...
And maybe she saw and accepted that before I could even come to terms with what was happening... But now I've realised that it was for the best. Change is hard to accept after all... and the ones that come suddenly when you don't understand them... even harder so. But it's vital. As significant as breathing.
My brother, on the other hand, he's really important to me, and I'm the reason for us falling apart. It eats me alive when I think of it when I put myself in his shoes and understand how right he is and justified to feel what he does.
In the world of today, believing in someone without mistrust is an act of foolishness, and so I don't fault you for wanting to know more about me, but the fact that you trust me despite all the reasons you shouldn't... means a lot more than I can convey in words.
Don't apologize for your late-night ramblings, that's what I'm here for. And if you can't sleep even after that then you should read 'Ivory Castle' its a book from the Fire and Ice series, that way staying up at night would be worth it.
A Sinclair fan... of course he would recommend that book. Reading that made her smile, to know she shared something in common with him.
You can tell me anything, every mundane thought, every stupid dream, every embarrassing memory or even a delightful one. Everything.
I feel that with you I don't need to filter my thoughts, censor my words or conceal a secret (except for, well you know...) I hope you feel the same too...
These days it's hard, to be honest, sometimes you have to lie and disagree with your core values at times to survive because society rips and destroys people who are uncensored, utterly honest and are their true selves. It's hard to rise when everything around you constantly tears you down, constantly makes you confirm with expectations which leads to you murdering your dreams, deepest desires and passion. Yet with you, all of those boil up to the surface and settle peacefully on a blank paper like they were meant to reside there... To fall into your hands.
Confiding in you has taught me a lot about myself, about you and all the things I don't appreciate enough.
But I do appreciate this, this, what we have, a lot more than I can possibly explain in words.
Earnestly,
-Elliot
Ella smiled and re-read the letter a couple of times like she always does. She liked how eloquent he was and yet at times, the letters seem to be awkwardly worded as he tried to step around giving too much away about his true identity and struggled desperately to still make sense.
And now because of him she was listening to the song and humming along to The sound of silence by Simon and Garfunkel.
She felt sad yet curious about his relationship with his brother. The mention of his feelings for someone else pinched her heart painfully, but she tried to ignore it, she couldn't be falling for someone who she never even met.
It was silly to even think about... wasn't it?
Wanting to divert her thoughts elsewhere, Ella opened her laptop and clicked on the Netflix icon, to watch a movie she had in her mind for a while now.
And it worked.
In no time, Ella found herself immersed in a fictional world but the spell broke when a ringing pierced through the sad scene on the screen. Pausing the movie she picked up the call from her father, as she sniffed and wiped her tears.
"Hi darling, how are you?" His deep resonant voice met her ear.
"I'm doing great." She answered, her voice trembled and cracked as she sniffed.
"Are you crying? Why? What happened?" her dad has clearly panicked all the way across the line, "Should I come visit you?"
Ella laughed at his adorably concerned voice and replied, "No! No. Dad, I was just watching that movie you talked about."
"So the dog finally died huh? I'm telling you they put the dog just for that one scene, it breaks my heart." He said- matter of factly, "But you were really 'crying'?"
"As if you never cried over a movie," She scoffed.
"If I cry over a movie, it's because I don't get to watch them." He said, making his daughter chuckle.
Poor dad, she thought, always too busy to have any time for himself. "What are you doing now? It's past working hours, go have some fun." Ella suggested.
"I can't, I have some more work right now and we have lame neighbours, they never host pool parties- nothing to look forward to there." He complained.
"Then you should host one, they might be thinking the same thing about you." Ella went along, knowing he wouldn't attend a pool party even if he was invited to one.
"I have a reputation, Ella."
"What? Never to be seen at a party?" She suggested.
"That among other philosophical things." Her dad said and they both chuckled. "I miss you. You met Camron but I didn't get to meet you," He complained. "Will you be visiting soon?"
"I want to, but thanksgiving break is not for a while, besides I didn't plan to meet him, he was back in the city for a promotional event..., and I miss you too dad," she told him sadly.
"Darn, I hate how far your college is, why do you wish to study so much?" He asked, almost as if genuinely curious, "Who do you even get it from? You've left me all alone in this big boring house."
"Nonsense, you're never home and it's not easy being an equity partner in a law firm, so maybe I got it from you." Ella accused, "and if you're alone, go out on a date."
"I'm too busy for that, but tell me, what have you been doing these days, are you only studying and not having any fun...?" He changed the subject.
Ella deliberated for a moment but decided to just roll with it, for now. "Nothing much is fun here, same old lectures, books, movies, Nora, oh yeah that reminds me, Nora made me and my friends try some deadly spicy Korean noodles recipe and then we all wept over our food, it was really fun....if you like torture kind of way. It was surprisingly good too, but we all cried the entire time we ate, and she didn't even break a sweat, can you believe that?"
"I do, you have shockingly low spice tolerance, when you were four you used to cry over the sight of jalapenos and secretly tried to throw them away." He laughed.
"Hey, it's not that low, okay... I eat spicy food." She huffed, feeling offended. His laugh was one that she hadn't heard in a while, the sound was relaxed and joyful, coming from somewhere within.
She could imagine his serious pensive face turning youthful with unrestrained mirth, it made her happy even as she mumbled, "Stop laughing dad."
***********************************************
What did you think of this chapter?
Any thoughts on the writing style?
Who all are your favourite characters? If any?
Which relation do you like the best?
What are your updated theories?
Who do you think is most suspicious?
Do let me know, and please vote and comment before you go ahead.
Thanks for reading! 💙☺