This chapter is the continuation of
'can you forgive me?
Hobi, Tae and Mr.Jeon don't have the exact idea as why Jin seems extremely hurt and feeling low after meeting Namjoon in the office.... although all three men tried to find what is in the mind of Jin, they couldn't figure it since Jin didn't disclose anything to them....
Therefore, they were left with nothing except to cheer him in every possible manner and make him normal, since he turned much more gloomier than the early days of getting abused by Jungkook!!
Their trails of silly cooking were a part of the process to keep Jin cheer up!!
But to their surprise, Jungkook suddenly got home today!! They knew that it was not an easy thing for Jin to recover from the wound created by Jungkook mentally and physically...
They suspect that the pain of the psychological wounds of Jin is yet not healed, moreover increased with the salt that has been spayed by Namjoon with his words of venom!! that made him much more gloomier... Somehow they managed to get him back to his normal mental condition after that!! But now all three men are worried about the consequences! Since in such conditions, Jungkook returned!!
Although no one has the clue of Jungkook's return with the new wisdom he attained in the company of Senjun and the people of the home, or to his newly gained positive perspective to life and changed personality, Mr.Jeon sensed that there is a change in his son's behaviour!! But he doesn't want to trust Jungkook that easily.... He is not at all ready to spare his son, in case of Jungkook holding even a slightest intension to hurt Jin again by any means...
Therefore, he warned Jungkook the same thing, before jungkook followed Jin into their bedroom without Jin's notice, right behind him!
(Please Read 'can you forgive me?' chapter here for a better understanding of how the discussion has been initiated between the couple.... this part is continuation of that discussion...)
' A cold liar!! How many more lies would he would be telling me to keep me in the darkness and hold me onto his whip?' Jin's eyes filled with anger and tears ..his lips kept quivering which he tried to control while holding his entire pain in the clench of his fist that was caused by Jungkook's behaviour all these days!!
Meanwhile Jungkook is becoming
desperate to get Jin's forgiveness...
"Jin... I know, I sinned a lot....I know, I did something that no person on this earth would do to his loving life partner like you!...but I swear to God, I have realized my mistakes.. I am a changed person now!!...that's why I am begging your forgiveness... please forgive me Jin...I want to show how better I am now.. I want to bring the entire world's happiness into your hold now... I want to be that husband, that you would never want to lose in life....but to make all this possible, please forgive me and give me another chance Jin... " He looked at his husband with dire hope and desperation in his eyes....but realized that Jin is so cold and expressionless now!!
"Jin please speak...I can't live without you anymore.... I need you in my life to even breath... please accept me into your life Jin..." Jungkook jolted slightly by holding Jin's shoulders, to get the positive answer from him, not knowing what level of emotional volcano is ready to erupt from Jin!!
Jin didn't talk... He kept his silence as if he was testing the patience of Jungkook... the more desperate Jungkook was turning out, the more silence Jin has kept himself in...Jin's silence was hitching Jungkook's breath... He knows that it's not possible to earn Jin's forgiveness in a single day, for the amount of pain he has caused to him!! he knows that he needs to build great amount of trust in jin to gain his love! He needs him... he wants him in his life!! If anything or anyone he needs from now in his life, then it is only Jin.. and then it is his father!!... That's it!!
At this moment of Namjoon's trial to pursue Jin by hook or crook, Jungkook is unable to control his desperation to persuade Jin to accept him back! After knowing how vicious Namjoon is, Jungkook is in full of fear of losing Jin!! Jimin told him everything!! Now Jungkook curses himself for taking advice from Namjoon for all these days and making his own life a big mess being an asshole!!
Jungkook is now aware that Namjoon is waiting for a chance to trap and prey Jin to make Jeon's family suffer more and more since he learned the reasons for Namjoon's enemty with them!! He will never let Namjoon play with their lives anymore!!
Jungkook sighed louder and held Jin's palms, expressing all the love he has in his eyes for him in his touch and said,
"I am ready to take any punishment you want to give me Jinnie!! Punish me in the way you want .. hit me curse me or throw me from the top of our mansion, but please forgive me...." He couldn't control the welling tears, while looking into Jin's glossy eyes...
Jin gulped and but his lips....got himself out from Jungkook's grip and gathered himself using all his mental wits to be able to speak what he wanted.... and then said it all in a low voice yet in a firm tone..
"Which sin do I punish you for Jungkook?? Should I punish you for all those tears I had to shed for your rudeness to me all these days? Or should I punish you for all those sleepless nights I had to live since you left me with a heavy heart, not possessive any mercy to me in your cold nature and negligece, just because I am from a poor family??
"Jin....I am sorry....."
"No... don't sorry this soon Jungkook....Let me first speak and say what I want to say!! You asked me to punish you!! Should I punish you for your filthy idea of the ridiculous marriage contract with me, who knew nothing about your undiclosed love life with Jimin? or the cruel intentions to torture the newly wedded husband with all your spear like hurtful words by demeaning and degrading him? Or should I punish you for drafting all the nasty things in the marriage contract, that gave you an opportunity to play with my life as if I am a toy that can be played with and break whenever you wanted?!
...Or do I punish you for your wicked thoughts to simply throw me out of your house and life just like the broken piece of some unwanted thing, after using it as much as possible for your needs and pleasures? Or Should I punish you for shamelessly having an extramarital affair in front of my very eyes with Jimin, while holding the right to kick me out, incase of my infidelity if any? Or Would I punish you for plotting with Namjoon by asking him to seduce me and check my self-control on my physical needs, in case of failing which you can declare me a slut? Or Would I punish you for disappoving even our honeymoon and lying to me and your father that you were going to attend the business management course and staying with your loving boyfriend?? Or would I punish you for touching me without my permission and raping me brutally while giving me all filthy names and later leaving me in a near death condition and absconding the consequences?
Or Should I punish you for telling Namjoon to check if I became pregnant since you raped me without a condom, and to get rid of the pregnancy if it occurred, by aborting it silently without my notice, with the help of the medicine you have sent with him to mix in my food? Tell me for which sin do I punish you for Jungkook? or how many things should I punish you for?
When I cooked well, you said it is better that I work for a restaurant rather experimenting it on you!! But why couldn't you recognise my love for you then??.. When I appreciated you for your singing abilities, you didn't even respond to me, because you think of me as low as possible!! when I dealt with Min's deal, you suspect me to flirt with Yoongi to get the deal... How many more things do I punish you for??
Anyway, I am not capable of punishing you Jungkook!!.. indeed, I am incapable of granting forgiveness too!! I feel that, it is my fault to getting married to you without learning about your intentions about me properly!! Therefore, you don't have to sorry me or ask me for forgiveness...I learned my lesson for dreaming a good life with a rich man like you....
So, I don't want to trouble you anymore Jungkook...I just want to give you what you need, a life that is without a slut or whore like me!! I mean, I want you to enjoy your life without my presence or existence in it!!
Therefore, I am ready to give you the divorce you, that want to take after one year of our marriage tenure!! I will not let you wait for it anymore!! And by the way, don't let the world blame you for using the so called marriage contract for not paying me anything or not giving your name to your child!!
Because even now, I don't seek any compensation from you once we get divorced...
Anyway, all I need is, just the divorce from you, so that you can get rid of me forever!! please talk to the lawyer and get the arrangements done for it Jungkook..."
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