Content Warning: Child abuse, physical abuse, violence, strong language
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George looked through the dirty, stained window. The paint from the wooden frame chipped off with the slightest breath, revealing its old skeleton. Past through the trees was the park. Although it was hard to see; it was there. It was down the long, empty street, just a minute away from his house.
Every day he grew more lonely. He felt like a caged animal, never being able to see the outside world. There was nothing to do but sit and think, and even that has become tedious. Imagining what it would be like to have a friend hurt too much, because he knew something like that would never happen.
He looked at the park once again. He couldn't remember what it felt like to ride a slide, rushing down with excitement, heading towards the ground. Maybe the swing set was even more fun; he wondered how high he could get, maybe high enough to touch the sky. But such a simple task possessed an enormous risk.
Should I go?
George quietly got up and walked to his father's room, standing in front of the dark door. He stood in silence, waiting for a sound. His heart started racing as soon as he heard his loud snoring.
This is my chance.
He slowly headed to the front door, stepping outside and shutting the door behind him. The cool breeze caressed his pale face, making him smile. Not wasting any time he rushed down the street, heading straight to the park. He looked both ways before crossing the street, stepping onto the grass. He looked up at the playground, realizing it was empty. For some reason George thought he could build up the courage to make a friend, but today wasn't that day,
He climbed up the tall slide, taking a second before plunging down. The excitement pulsed through his veins, laughing as he hit the ground. He quickly got up and ran to the swings, sitting down. His legs swung back and forth, feeling the motion picking up. He got higher and higher, smiling. George looked up at the sky, looking at the birds flying freely with the clouds.
He had no idea how much time had passed before he finished playing on the playground. He dusted himself off and decided to go home. He ran back as fast as he could, slowing down as he stood in front of his old house. George walked up the patio steps, quietly opening the door, flinching as it creaked.
He took a step inside, looking up.
"Where the hell were you."
George's heart dropped. He looked him in the face with quivering eyes.
"I-I was at the park." his voice died, he looked down at the dirty floor. George could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes.
The man leaned over, "What did I say about going outside?" his breath reeked of alcohol.
He shut his eyes, bracing for impact, "God, you're so fucking stupid!" The man stood up and struck George in the face, knocking him to the ground. He let out a cry in pain. The man grabbed him by the neck, "Why don't you ever listen to me!?" He banged George's head on the floor as he spoke his hurtful words, "Why are you so fucking stupid!? You're worthless piece of shit!" George screamed in pain, sobbing as his head hit the floor. The man stood up and kicked him repeatedly in the stomach.
"I-I'm s-sorry-" George couldn't finish his sentence before being kicked again. The man picked him up and walked to the back door. He opened it and threw him down the steps and onto the ground. His skin dragged across the pavement, making his fragile skin bleed. He screamed in pain as he hit the ground once more, breaking out into hysterics.
"Stop crying!" The man yelled. George covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stop himself from letting out a sob. He made eye contact with the man as he stood on the patio looking down at George.
"W-when will you realize how fucking worthless you are. You weren't meant to exist. You ruined everything. One day, I'm going to make sure you pay the price." He slammed the door shut.
George laid on the ground still, crying into his hands.
When will it end?
Every sound that surrounded the both of them instantly became obsolete, suddenly disappearing from its own existence. The room turned cold, morphing into an unfamiliar space. He couldn't feel what he was sitting on, or remember what the sensation of that was even like. Everything in his view mushed together, becoming a blurry mess. The only thing he could see was the diffused light coming through the window.
"George?"
His vision became even more blurry, becoming impossible to make out what was in front of him. A deep, pounding sensation traveled from his stomach all the way up to his throat. His breathing became heavier, becoming shaky.
After trying so many times, he thought it worked. He finally thought he ran away for good, never having to see him again. But now he was coming back. No matter how far he ran, he was there. The never ending nightmare was becoming a reality once again. Tears unknowingly traveled down George's face, falling to the floor.
"George."
Clay stood up and hugged George, "Everything is gonna be okay, I promise."
A spark ignited inside him, suddenly combusting in every part of his body. The flames became too furious to keep inside. This feeling turned into an inescapable anger. George opened his eyes.
He pulled back, grabbed Clay by the collar of his shirt, and threw him to the ground as hard as he could. George stood up, breaking out into hysterics.
"Fuck your promises!" George started sobbing, refusing to break eye contact with Clay.
"You promised me that everything would be okay, that nothing would happen, you fucking lied to me. Why would you do that!?" George screamed through his tears.
Clay looked at him completely blank, shaking, "G-George-"
"Shut the fuck up! Please shut up!" George shouted while covering his red ears. He stood there crying in the air, begging for the pain to stop.
He then looked down. He felt his entire body become paralyzed, not being able to move. His breathing became frantic, being unable to process what he was looking at.
It's him.
It's him.
It's him.
George let out a blood curdling scream, falling to the ground. The man shifted his body up, looking at George.
"Stop! P-please stop, stop stop stop! Get away from me!" George cried. He backed away, trying to distance himself from the man. Although the fear was paralyzing, the anger that was building up inside of him was boiling. The pot was soon filled to the max. There was no going back. George stood up and tackled the man to the ground, climbing on top of him and straddling him on the waist.
He placed his hands on the man's neck, squeezing as hard as he could. The man gasped for air, desperately trying to get his hands off of his neck, but George's grasp was too strong. He looked at him with his vicious eyes.
"How does it feel? Doesn't feel good right?" Tears traveled down the man's face, "What are you crying about? You weren't fucking crying when you hit me, when you kicked me, when you tried to fucking kill me." George squeezed his neck even harder, hearing the man sob and gasp for air. He kept tightening his grip.
"G-George-"
"Shut up!" He screamed, "Y-you wanted me to die, right? Isn't this fair, after all the shit you put me through?" Tears traveled down George's face, "W-why won't you fucking die?!" he cried. George held his neck for a couple more seconds before letting go. The man gasped for air, crying - but that air allowed him to keep on living.
George only grew more furious. He balled his hand in a fist, lifted his arm in the air, and punched the man across the face. The man groaned, continuing to sob. George couldn't stop himself, it was so gratifying. He hit him over and over again, with each hit becoming stronger. He smiled as he saw blood coming out of the man's mouth. George struck him in the eye, leaving a heavy mark. He continued to hit him until more of his face became red and blue.
Blood spewed from the man's nose and mouth. George laughed, but as genuine as his laugh seemed, he continued to cry. He grabbed him by the neck and started banging his head against the floor.
"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I-I never deserved any of this, why would you do this to me?! P-please tell me." He looked at the man's eyes, "What? Now you don't wanna talk? You talked so much fucking shit back then, why not tell me now? You look so fucking dumb right now, you piece of shit." George sobbed.
"Just fucking die!" He punched him across the face one final time, spewing blood across the floor. George looked at his shaking fist, it was covered in blood, red from the constant blows. He looked down to see the pain the man was in. After so many years, he finally got what he deserved. George was finally able to fight back.
He looked down at his beaten, unrecognizable face.
George stopped breathing.
He looked closer.
His hands began shaking uncontrollably.
It wasn't his father.
It was ...
"C-clay?" George whispered. He looked at his bloody hands, then back at Clay's face, "Clay?" George cried. He carefully touched the side of his face, caressing it, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't mean-" George covered his mouth, realizing what he had done.
He climbed off of his body and stared at the floor. His entire body trembled uncontrollably. He broke out crying, screaming into the silence. Tears fell down his face and onto the floor, creating a small puddle.
"George."
He stopped crying.
"I-It's okay."
George looked up.
"I'm okay."
Clay slowly got up, holding in his groans. He painfully crawled across the floor, reaching out his arms, and eventually hugged George. He looked at the ceiling wide-eyed, slowly holding him back. He felt Clay rub his back.
"I'm sorry." Clay whispered.
George took a sharp breath in. He pulled back, holding Clay's face with both of his hands, "W-what?"
Clay wiped away George's tears, "I'm sorry that my words didn't make you feel safe, that you thought they weren't true."
George shook his head, "No, no no. Clay, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean any of this-"
"Stop apologizing, there's a reason why you feel this way. George, I don't want to leave your side. No matter what happens."
"W-why?" George asked.
Clay sighed, "Because I care about you. George, I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. I hate that you don't know."
George shut his eyes and began sobbing, "I'm sorry."
Clay held him tight.
"It's okay."
They sat on the floor together, holding each other tight. Something inside felt different. Up until now, George realized it had been growing steadily since he met Clay, but he doesn't know what it was exactly. It felt like a glowing, warm sea of feelings. He only felt this way with Clay. Up until this point, no one in his life was able to make him feel so,
Loved?
He closed his eyes, feeling Clay's comforting embrace. He pulled back, "Are you sure you're okay?" George sniffled.
"Yes. Please stop crying, you're gonna make me cry." Clay laughed.
"I should probably clean you up, let's go to the bathroom." George said. They both got up and headed to the bathroom. Clay sat on the toilet as George grabbed the necessary things under the sink to try to fix what he caused. He took a wet cloth and washed the blood off his face. George felt his throat swelling up, trying to stop himself from crying.
How could I have done this?
What's wrong with me?
How did he forgive me?
After cleaning his face and disinfecting his cuts, he took some band-aids, carefully applying them on his cheeks, nose, and forehead.
"I'm sorry." George said.
"Stop saying that, it's okay. I promise." Clay smiled. George couldn't help but smile back at him.
Clay stood up, "Hey, I'll go get the groceries from the car, I'll make us dinner."
"Clay?"
He stopped as he reached the door, "Can we forget about this for today? I still want to talk about it though."
"Yeah, of course." Clay turned around and left the room. George got up and went to the living room to clean the mess from the floor. He couldn't help but feel disgusted with himself as he looked at the glistening blood. How could he let himself turn into this ugly monster? How could he feel so ugly, yet so comforted?
The door swung open, once again revealing Clay, "Alright! Let's get cooking!"
George felt a tear escape his eye.
I don't deserve you.
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A/N:
Hey! I hope you're doing well! Sorry it's been a while but hope you enjoy the new chapter.
I know how upsetting this chapter can be, but trust me, it's worth yet. We're not even at the climax of the book yet, so be prepared! (It gets worse¿)
Anyways, this will probably be the last update of 2020 since New Year's eve is tomorrow!
Please be safe during this time and spend it with the people you love. 2020 has been literal hell for everyone, and I hope I made it a little better by my writing. I love reading all your comments and receiving all your support - it means so much to me, truly.
I hope 2021 treats us all well ❤️
Stay tuned for new chapters soon!
Thank you! Have a great day/night!
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