Penelope put the car in reverse and started backing into the garage spot. Once she put the car in park, she cut the engine and just let the silence fill up the space.
She screamed and smashed the wheel a couple times until her palms burned from the exertion. She sniffed and wiped the tears away aggressively.
She'd been in sort of trance since John dropped her off at her car. She opened the door, got in, started the car, pulled out the parking lot, went to the "Crack Burger Place" ordered food for herself and Liam, and took the drive back to the Rogan's oceanside mansion.
Cutting off the engine, sitting in the silence forced her to finally come back to reality. Seems a place she hadn't been that past couple months she'd been with the Rogans. The problem was she had grown too comfortable living in this big house away from her reality. That's why the run in with John took her so off guard. She needed the reminder of who she was, and why the hell she was here to begin with.
She couldn't lose sight again. God she hoped Phillip didn't hear about her run in with John, though the odds of that weren't good. John would use that to keep Phillip under his thumb. Who knew what the man had Phillip doing "inside" just to keep her safe.
She wasn't sure exactly where it came from, but the sob that took over her seemed to fill the small space like a sponge being soaked by a flood of water. She'd been feeling more emotional over the last day or so.
Her period was coming. She could feel the weight of it. This was the only time in her life where she prayed she'd miss her period, but she knew that wasn't her reality either. What if she couldn't get pregnant? What then? The more immediate question was what the hell was she going to do about John's new demands?
Some unknown amount of time later, she finally gathered most of her dignity, wiped away the tears, reapplied some concealer and lip color. She didn't want Liam to see her despair because he would ask questions and she would have to lie then eventually the lies would unravel. She wasn't sure how long she could keep all this up.
Why did she feel like she needed to keep the truth of things from him? Well, because it was none of his business. Not really. It was her problem. She hung her head. Pride. She was prideful and proud people didn't drag other people into their issues. They solved them on their own, even when they were completely over their head in a flash flood. Even when their head was constantly plunging under the water's surface and feeble limbs struggled to stay above the surface.
She gathered her items and opened the car door then made her way into the house. Even from the garage entry, she could hear Liam talking in his office. She made her way to his office after locking the back door, and shedding her jacket and shoes. She knocked gently on the door and waited until he announced she could come inside. As if everything were alright with the world, because in that moment everything was, she smiled at him realizing just then how long it'd been since she really laid eyes on the man.
It'd been days since she'd seen him and, to no surprise, he was still as handsome as he was three days before. She laughed at that because why would he all of a sudden change? That was quite silly to think.
She set the bag of food on the table the smell of the burgers, & waffle curly fries made her remember she didn't eat lunch.
He covered the mouthpiece and whispered a thank you. Must have been on a client call. She pointed to the grease that had stained the bag and he smiled up at her. For some obnoxious reason, the gesture made her insides bounce and twist around like butterflies about to take flight. She shoved down the elating but curious feeling and exited the room quietly so as not to disturb his phone call. She then went into the kitchen with her greasy bag and set it on the counter. Oh, boy did she have plans.
She spent near the entire time that she was meant to be enjoying the greasy food, in her head trying to figure how the hell she was going to find the kind of money John wanted from her in 3 days. For some annoying reason her mind kept replaying Liam offering to help.
'Anything just ask.' He said. Did he really mean that?
NO! Her prideful ego shouted in her ear. The voice sounded an awful lot like her mother's. Asking for money was just not something she saw anyone in her family do and those that did were looked down upon. They were leeches living off the work of others.
Would asking for help make her a taker even if he offered? Maybe not, but he might ask what she needed the money for and then she'd drag him into this bullshit or worse have to lie to him. Not to mention the assistance he offered was for her business not this... whatever this was with John.
If Liam said no, what options would she have then? The same she had at the moment. She didn't have anything to give John at that point in time! It was like trying to get blood from a turnip.
She frowned.
She wasn't a goddamn turnip, but she could bleed and so could Phillip. She hated to admit it, in fact, it made her ill just thinking the thought, but Liam was the best chance she had. Him saying no was just not an option neither was him asking questions.
She frowned, sipping the lemonade from the large cup and setting it on the counter.
Was there a way to convince Liam with a higher probability of him agreeing?
She had no idea why this thought crossed her mind because she didn't think of herself as the seductive type, not even a little bit, but she'd been surprising herself up to this point.
NO WAY!
"Well what other choices do we have?" She asked out loud, startling herself.
She was spending too much time in her head. What she needed was clarity. To get that, a change of scenery was in order. She made her way upstairs to get her swimsuit so she could take a little swim to work off some of the meal and clear her mind.
Water always seemed to be the remedy to clear her mind. Thoughts seemed to flow clearer when she was putting in laps.
The cool water encouraged her to focus on it, the heaviness as it encircled her form and made her feel lighter. The goosebumps that raised up on her skin when the air touched the damp surface. She let her head sink under water.
Under the water, in the silence thoughts came. She could go down to the bank and take out a loan, personal or business loan. Her credit wasn't bad, not great but somewhere in the middle. She could also go to one of those god awful check cashing places, but would end up owing them more money after all the fees and interest. At least the terms were set. But would they be able to loan her as much as she needed? She could get a couple credit cards maybe get cash advances? No, no, she didn't have the time for that. Time was not on her side.
She wrapped a towel around her body tucking it in near her armpit before she headed for the door. She didn't have solid options, not the kind of certainty she needed. She would take off work in the morning and head to the bank. She smiled at that thought having a plan made her feel like she had some kind of control.
She grabbed her phone off the island counter and frowned when she saw she had a photo message from an unknown number.
She was confused, but only for a moment when she looked at the dark image, almost too dark to make out, but once she saw the image she knew who sent the message. It was her brother sleeping in his prison cell.
She wiped the tears she didn't realize were coming from her eyes and quickly deleted the message as if that would erase what she saw or what the intent was behind the message. Once she saw the image, it stayed branded there, a horrible reminder of the gravity of the situation.
She headed upstairs to take a shower and went into the room to lotion herself down like she normally did but this wasn't like any of those times at all now was it? She was now on a mission. She knew what she had to do even if she didn't like it. She needed that money and she'd do what she had to in order to secure it.
Is this not prostitution?
"Hello, we're already selling our womb. We're far down this road, might as well keep going." Instead of putting her hair into her bonnet like she did before bed every other night, she arranged the curly strands into a high puff on her head. She opened up the drawer that had her panties, bras and socks in it and ventured to the small corner of the drawer that she tried not to pay any attention to that had lingerie items Frida purchased several weeks before.
Lingerie that was supposed to be used to seduce the woman's husband, which was what Penelope was meaning to do with it. Who cares if the motives were a little skewed? The outcome was the same, right?
She took her time selecting which garments she wanted to wear debating which one he would find more fetching on her, which would entice him the most and she ended up settling on the fishnet stockings, a garter belt and a corset all black everything. She took a deep breath sitting in front of the vanity mirror as she assessed her face. She was even committing to a full face of makeup making sure to stick to the whole dark seductress scene with a smoky eye. She kept the rest of her face pretty neutral
When she was done with all of that she put on some high heels and made her way downstairs.
This isn't right. This isn't you.
"Who I am?" She whispered to herself. "Who I am is the girl who's not going to let her brother die in his sleep." She paused and pulled back the emotions which were threatening to smear her makeup. "That's who the hell I am. Now," She cleared her throat and continued down the stairs. "Unless you have something to add to the conversation, stay quiet."
She paused after stepping off the last stair when her heel hit the hardwood floor with a click. She could hear Liam still talking on the phone. All the confidence she had before was dwindling quickly. She turned, her hand still on the banister, but before she could take a step, the image of the photo of her brother sleeping flashed before her eyes.
There is always another way.
"Oh, yeah? Well I'm listening." Silence as she expected. "That's what I thought." She took a deep breath, turned and faced the hallway that led to Liam's office. She raised her head and stuck out her chest, mustering up all the seductress energy that she saw on the tv screen, read about, or heard about and hoped she didn't look like a complete idiot.
She didn't bother knocking. Instead, she quietly opened the door. When she looked into the office she saw Liam behind the desk. His back was to her as he leaned back in the chair with his feet propped up on the desk. She stepped inside and closed the door.
Somewhere in there her stomach ended up getting lodged in the back of her throat making it difficult to breath. She was supposed to be all about business, this was a mission, a task that had to be executed precisely, but therein it all was that snaking heat that made her breathing shallow for reasons that had little to do with nerves. A longing started from her center and vibrated out to every corner of her body.
She was directly behind his chair now, it was as if the man was emitting heat. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders and down his arm, back up and down his chest.
Liam stumbled through his words as he turned around in the chair, shock fell from his eyes quickly and was replaced with another look as his gaze swept her from head to toe.
"Chuck, I'm going to have to call you back. Tonight? No. I'll follow up in the morning." Liam hung the phone up and placed it on the desk before turning to fully face her. His feet were no longer on the desk, but he was still sitting back in the chair looking up at her with an expression that she could only describe as a deep impenetrable desire for her.
|:|A/N|:|
I'm sweating for her right now! AHHH!
Appreciate your patience. Took a minute for me to get this chapter "right" and it's a long one, but hopefully the chapters coming will make up for it ;)
COMMENT/VOTE/FOLLOW
Always,
-ALEX